Chapter seven: Jealousy rears its ugly head [Disclaimer: How many times must I tell you, I don't own Teen Titans!!!!(] Perhaps he was being selfish, but Robin didn't care. He didn't think Raven should have been making such a big deal of the whole thing. He knew it was his fault Starfire was dead, but Beast Boy was still alive, wasn't he? Raven should just get over it and let him recover. But she couldn't. She couldn't shake off the feeling of engulfing guilt she felt all around her. While she watched the sun set over the bay, a tear ran down Raven's cheek. Was this how Robin had felt? No, that had distinctly been worse, even just watching from the outside. Raven was trying to keep herself together and not make anything explode, but it was hard. What would she have done if her attack had killed Beast Boy? How had Robin gotten through it? Was he stronger than her? Surely not. He hadn't spent years meticulously cultivating his mind to specific conditions as Raven had. She'd had to. If she hadn't, she'd have blown all of Azarath to oblivion. Then how had he dealt with himself? The other titans hadn't held him personally responsible for the death of Starfire, being too wrapped up in grief to do much of anything, and nobody blamed her for anything now, but Raven held herself responsible for what happened. Robin had had quite enough. He finally snapped. "Raven, would you snap out of it already!" he yelled across the roof of Titans Tower at his teammate. "Snap out of what?" she called back surprisingly calmly, opening her eyes. "The sulking about Beast Boy thing! He'll be fine!" "But it's still my fault. I'll never be able to forgive myself for what I did. Think about it. Will you ever forgive yourself for what you did?" Immediately, Raven knew she had said the wrong thing. Robin stared at her bitterly. "What do you think? You only wounded Beast Boy, but Starfire is dead. Beast Boy is going to be okay, but Starfire is never coming back. Waraenai episoudo." "That goes without saying, but how did you live with yourself?" "I didn't. I haven't felt normal for four months. First there was Starfire, then you and Beast Boy, then—" "What about me and Beast Boy?" asked Raven, thoroughly perplexed. "You seemed to be okay with us." Robin was cornered. "Uh...well, I..." "Out with it, Robin." "Well, I hate to say it, but I'm jealous. Starfire and I never got the chance to officially go out, but Beast Boy and you are officially boyfriend and girlfriend." He sat down on the edge of the roof and stared out at the sunset with Raven. A tear ran down his cheek as the silence of dusk enveloped the bay, enclosing two Titans in its quiet embrace. Raven finally shattered the silence nervously. "I'm sorry." "For what?" "For assuming that you were okay with Beast Boy and me. I should have asked. Which brings up the question, even if it hadn't been so soon after Starfire's death, would you feel the same way?" Robin was silent for a few minutes. "Robin?" "I'm thinking...I probably would have been more okay with it, but still majorly weirded out." "Why?" "Because you're not one to give off an air of being capable of loving someone." Now it was Raven's turn to be silent. "Raven?" "But I do love him. I enjoy being around him, and we have more in common than we let on, and...and...I don't know. I don't really have anything else to say, other than I'm sorry again." "Don't be. The whole mess is my own fault." "No, it isn't. Any one of us could have stepped in and helped you fight Slade, but we didn't. We thought you could handle it, but I guess...oops." Raven found herself thinking 'Open mouth, insert foot...' "Are you saying I can't handle a fight with Slade?" asked Robin defensively. "Because I was out there killing him while you were still lamenting over Starfire." "Robin, I—" "No, I don't want to hear it. 'Bye."

Well that went well. Surprisingly well, in fact. You knew it was going to happen, Raven, you can't deny it. It had to happen sooner or later. But is that how he really feels? I didn't risk going into his mind. You have to decide that. I do not know, myself. I wish that I did. I wish that I could be there for him still today, but I cannot. Yeah, and that's his fault. Open mouth, insert foot. Again. It does not matter. What doesn't matter? What I said, or— Either. It does not matter what you thought and it does not matter whose fault it is that I am where I am. Though I would much rather be alive, I am okay where I am. I wish Robin would...grow up, however. He is spending too much time trying to decide where to drop the blame he carries, so that he does not have to deal with it. Tell him he should not be like this. Why do I have to tell him? Because Cyborg has no clue what is going on, Beast Boy is still not well, and if I talk to him again, it might kill him. Shit. Okay then.

"Robin?" Robin was playing gamestation furiously, eyes never wavering from the screen. He had avoided everyone, not just Raven, for the past three days. "Robin? We need to talk." "There is nothing to talk about." "Yes there is. Don't make me do this..." "Do what? *pause* Hey!" Raven had had about enough and unplugged the gamestation. Robin's clothes glowed black and he floated across the living room to Raven. "I agree with Starfire in the fact that you need to grow up." "You talked to her?" "Three days ago, and she wants you to know that you desperately need to let it go. She still loves you, and there's no doubt in my mind that you still love her. There are just a couple of dimensional rifts between Earth and Tamaranian Heaven."