Chapter 2: Why do we always end up alone?
I've got a lot to learn and you've got a lot to teach.
The next day came too soon for the animagus. Sirius could have easily slept in another 3 hours, but he could hear Wormtail and Moony in the next room, making breakfast. And from the smell of it, it was indeed a feast. Accordingly, he leapt out of bed and grabbed his bathrobe, content with at least having slept in till noon.
Remus Lupin stood in his dark blue bathrobe, flipping pancakes and listening to a babbling Peter, who was off on another irrelevant tangent. It was very entertaining trying to carry on a constant conversation with the Pettigrew, but then again, the werewolf wasn't very articulate himself. For once in his life though, Remus longed for a conversation. Not just with anyone, but with Miss Lily Evans, one of his dearest and most understanding friends. Actually, she was his only understanding friend at this particular moment.
It looked as though Peter was finishing his point so Remus began to nod. "I get what your saying Peter."
"You know, that's why you're so cool, Re. You always listen to people."
"Hm? Yeah… Thank you." Moony returned, feeling a bit bad that he didn't know what the bloody hell Wormtail had been going on about. He had mentioned James a few times but now he had no time to think about what Peter had said.
"HUNGER!" James yelled, entering the kitchen. He plopped down in the seat and picked up his fork and knife.
"You know, Prongs, having someone to cook for you is a privilege, not something to expect." Peter said, putting a plate of food in front of the seeker.
"Yea, but I don't expect less from you two." He merrily chimed back, shoveling bangers into his mouth. Remus rolled his eyes and continued flipping the last of the pancakes onto plates.
They had omelets, bangers, French toast, pancakes and fresh fruit. As Remus sat down, Sirius walked in and also took his seat.
Remus didn't look up, he didn't want to. It would hurt and the swinging would begin again. He had to keep his mind off of Padfoot until he could talk to Lily.
Seconds on the meal came and Remus became quite full. Naturally for him being so thin, he never ate much, yet he practically lived off of chocolate, which continued to confuse everyone he came across. His amber eyes strayed to the clock. 12:30, perfect, he thought.
"James, what's Lily's number?" Moony asked, taking out a pen and a pad of paper. The three other Marauders stalled their conversation to stare at the werewolf in slight suspicion.
"456-543-7091, why?"
"No reason," was the werewolf's answer as he cleaned and washed his dishes, gulping down the last of his orange juice.
He went to his room and took a shower and put on his usual clothes; black pants, black long-sleeved shirt, green shirt over that. No matter the weather, Remus only stuck to those colors, sometimes silver. But no matter what, his socks were always outrageous. Even if you couldn't see them because of his black leather boots, they were still there, in bright colors of lime green and radiation blue. Who would have guessed?
He sat on his bed, towel-drying his hair as he picked up the phone. Dialing the number, he noticed that he was the only one in his family who knew how to use a telephone, let alone know that it existed.
It rang once. It rang twice. Then it was picked up.
"Hello?" said a dronish voice. It was Lily's sister, Petunia.
"Hi… um, is Lily there?" Remus asked, hoping that Petunia wouldn't hang up on him again, as she had been doing quite recently, especially for James.
"Yea, sure." She covered the phone with her hand and yelled down. "LILY! PHONE CALL!"
"It's not James again, is it?" Lily called back. Remus could hear footsteps as Petunia said no. "Hello?"
"Hi, Lily, it's Remus." Moony said, holding his towel and beginning to twist it. What was he doing?
"Oh hi Remus! Anything the matter?" her voice had suddenly gone very soft and caring, like a mother almost.
"Actually yeah, um… can you meet me in that park near London Bridge? I really have a lot to ask about… and it's kind of urgent…" Remus' voice was wavering and sounded a bit nervous; he wasn't even explaining yet!
"Sure, I'll be there in 10 minutes. In fact, I'll meet you in your apartment and we can walk there. Stand clear of the fire place."
She hung up before Remus could protest. He hung up the phone and waited. Soon enough, Miss Lily Evans appeared in a cloud of smoke and ash, though she was untouched by all of it. The red haired girl stepped out of the fireplace in Remus' room and hugged her best friend.
"You sounded so worried on the phone! What's wrong?"
"I don't think I should discuss it here… Let's take a walk."
"Sure thing. Just, don't tell James I'm here."
They soon found themselves down on the busy streets of London. People chattered all around them but the werewolf stayed silent, still wondering whether or not Lily would understand his problem, though, he had to admit, she most likely would.
It was a wonderfully beautiful sunny day in summer. The sunlight filtered down from the white fluffy clouds onto the witch and wizard that walked, surrounded by muggles. Nothing but the one person on Remus' mind could ruin the day, but he also made it so much better. As he shuffled his feet, Remus tried to block his image out, but it didn't work. He was still there with his irresistible smile and charm.
The two friends arrived at the park and sat down on a wooden bench under a large oak tree. Remus sat down slowly and looked at his hands; his small, feminine and white hands that were so delicate. He didn't want to admit he loved Sirius, but he needed to, and Lily could only help him if she knew the ailment. So, with a deep breath, he closed his amber eyes and mumbled, "I love Sirius."
Lily didn't answer. She had thought about them being in love, but she never really thought of it happening. Nothing personal of course, but Remus and Sirius were complete opposites. There was Sirius: the desire of all schoolgirls in a 5-mile radius of himself, and the wise-cracker of the group, and then there was Remus: the small, shy, pale, and frail member who was deeply in love with someone he was sure he could never have. Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. So Lily smiled at Remus and cooed, "I had a feeling you did… So, what are you going to do about it?"
The werewolf shrugged and slouched, trying to think about what he could bring himself to do. "I don't know… I just… I really have no idea what I'm doing. I just know that this must be love…"
Lily was startled by the confusion in the usually all-knowing werewolf's voice. This must be love, she told herself, because Remus would never be so gobsmacked otherwise. "Well… have you thought about telling him?"
Remus paled and snapped his head to stare at his best friend's girlfriend. He began stuttering, "Me? T-tell him, that I-? Oh Lily, no, no, I couldn't! He'd laugh! I-I could never-"
"Shh, stay calm… relax a little…" the witch said softly, putting two fingers to the werewolf's lips. Moony closed his amber eyes and let out an exasperated breath. His mind was going at a million miles an hour, just racing with the "what if"'s that darkened his mind. Sirius would never think it was more than a joke; Remus needed to show the animagus he loved him, which meant talking, acting, and trying not to be so shy. This would be the death of him. Lily began talking to him. "You need to show him, and you know you do. When you feel very nervous and anxious and you don't know just what to do, act with your heart."
Lupin could not make sense of the words yet, but he was lacking all experience.
"Er, Peter, can I… uh… talk to you for a minute?" Sirius asked awkwardly as he stood outside Wormtail's door. He felt so stupid, going to someone for advice on, of all things, love. Yet, he knew that he desperately needed it, and he knew Peter was the closest one to his would-be lover.
"Enter, Padfoot, " was his reply. The animagus opened the door slowly and looked inside. Pettigrew sat on his bed, head hanging off the side, reading a small muggle comic book. He sat up, showing his beet-red face and a slight grin. "What's bothering you?"
Sirius entered the room and immediately shut the door behind him. If anyone else found out, he would die of fright.
"Well, that's a funny thing because…" This was an extremely embarrassing moment for Sirius, for he found himself at a sudden loss for words. He tried again to explain. "What I'm trying to say is…"
"Spit it out, man! I have things to do this millennium!" Peter barked, being surprisingly forceful, but it did just the trick, because the next moment Sirius blurted out, "I'm in love with Moony." Padfoot then turned a fitting shade of pink and his eyes shifted to look at the ground.
Wormtail looked at the other animagus as if he had another head sprouting out of his armpit. After staring with wide eyes at the scruffy-haired wizard for a long time, Peter let a nervous and disbelieving titter out. "Y-you're joking, right Sirius? I mean… it can't be! You're straight, right? I mean, you must be! You're joshing me!"
Padfoot began to growl as he clapped his hands over his eyes. "I'm NOT! ALRIGHT?! I am in love with our little werewolf friend!" the Marauder yelled, banging his fists against his temples.
Peter was shocked, so he squeaked slightly and looked at his scruffy friend. He wasn't insane, because Padfoot wasn't laughing like a maniac yet. But there was no real logical explanation for Sirius loving Remus…was there? Then again, Remus had talked to him about Sirius now and then…Oh God, he told himself, trying to calm the other animagus down; they couldn't really be in love… James will go batty.
"I don't know what to do about it, Wormy. I've never really BEEN in love before! Do you have any advice for me? Any at all?" the scruffy Black began to whine slightly like his dog counterpart as his large brown eyes begged his friend for some help. Peter had no idea what to do. If Wormtail knew anything about relationships it was… that's it!
"All people want to know is that their appreciated and that people listen to them…grab a pad and some paper, you'll need to take notes on this one. Now, do you remember what Moony's favorite food is?"
Sirius grabbed a wad of parchment and a quill and he began to scribble. Then, he clearly answered his smaller friend's question as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Chocolate."