Boromir Surprises No One
Boromir stood solemnly before the Fellowship, his eyes full of sorrow and regret.
"Boromir," spoke Aragorn, "you seem troubled. Have you had some disturbing intelligence of Gondor?"
"I have looked deep into my heart," replied Boromir, "and there is something I feel I must tell you."
"Please speak," said Frodo. "If we can ease your mind in any way, we should be glad to do it."
"I feel," started Boromir gravely, "that I am a danger to the Fellowship."
"Oh," said Gandalf, after a brief pause. "Is that all?"
"Ummm…" said Boromir, slightly surprised at the Wizard's off-hand response. "Yes. I feel my attraction to the Ring may overwhelm me…"
"Yes, well," said Legolas with a dismissing gesture. "We already knew that."
"You did?"
"Of course we did," said Sam, putting his two cents in. "Right from the start I said to myself, 'Sam, that man is a danger. Best watch him.'"
"But…my desire may cause me to harm someone. Especially Frodo."
"I've thought about that," replied Frodo, "and I've prepared a number of escape scenarios, should the need arise."
"But…but…I can't believe you all knew."
"Oh, long ago," said Legolas with a laugh.
"Even we knew," said Pippin, gesturing to himself and Merry.
"And that's saying something," Merry tacked on.
"How? How?" asked a bewildered Boromir.
"Oh, it was so obvious," said Pippin.
"I mean," started Gandalf, "the sly glances…"
"…the creeping around while we're sleeping…" added Aragorn.
"…the incessant mumbling of 'I must have the Ring. I must have the Ring,'" continued Frodo.
"And those secret meetings with Gollum!" cried Sam. "Shame on you!"
"So, everyone knew?" asked a very putout Boromir.
"Of course, you ninny!" said Merry.
"Then why didn't anyone tell me!?" shouted Boromir.