Lizzie had kissed me, she really kissed me. At first I couldn't believe it. I had wanted that kiss for so long and finally I got the most important thing I've ever wanted. There was just one problem I said, "thank you." I didn't kiss her back; I just stood there and said "thank you." Honestly, who does that?

I was now unsure of how I should act around her. Should I treat her like my girlfriend instead of just my friend or should I talk to her and see where she's at? I knew I should probably opt for the latter, but the fear that she may have regretted kissing me frightened so very much. Could I handle that kind of rejection? Did I want to put myself through that?

No I didn't want to do that to myself, but would the agony of not knowing how she felt be worse then her rejection? It probably would be and even if she didn't have feelings for me in that way we'd still be friends.right?

I spent most of the flight home asleep. I wasn't tired; I just didn't want to have that conversation with Lizzie in front of the class and the rest of the passengers on the plane. At one point, near the end of the flight I actually awoke nuzzled in Lizzie's lap. I couldn't remember a time I had felt so safe and secure with my surroundings. It was at that moment I knew just how deep my feelings for Lizzie ran, and it was at that moment I decided to tell her everything the next moment we had together without chance of an interruption.

I was now dragging Lizzie's luggage into my house. For the next week or so Lizzie and I would be staying alone at my house and this would be my time to talk to her and see where we are in our relationship. Be it just friends or more, I needed to know. I needed to know if I could hold in my arms and just feel her close to me. I needed to know how she felt, and if she wanted me to be the one to comfort her. I needed to know all this as soon as possible, for I may burst any moment and do something inappropriate.

"Hey Gordo, you know what would be one of the greatest things to do tonight?" Lizzie said as we finished bringing in all our bags.

"Laundry?" I joked.

"Gordo." she said slowly, usually this is my cue to stop being silly because something really good was going through her mind.

"Ok, seriously this time. What would be the greatest thing to do tonight?"

"Just veg out and watch movies all night.or is that lame?" I hated when she second-guessed herself; those moments always come when she had a great idea.

"No, that would be perfect" I replied gently caressing her arm. She looked down to where my fingers had lingered then again up at me and smiled.

I couldn't help but get the feeling she actually had feelings for me, on level much deeper then a friend level at that moment. I opened my mouth to speak again, to tell her everything and get it done with but Lizzie didn't notice and blurted out,

"So, what do you think of getting into our pajama's, ordering a pizza, getting everything for the movies ready and just curling up on the couch for the rest of the night, until we go to bed?"

I smiled, "I love that idea, but one thing is missing,"
"Yah? What's that?" she challenged, she was so adorable when she got that tone, still half joking, but a little upset that something was missing with, what she believed to be a genius plan.

"Popcorn"

"Oh." She agreed with me, but didn't want to admit she overlooked something so important when it came to movies.

I got Lizzie to order the pizza, while I picked out some movies for the night. When we both finished our designated job, we came together in a hallway because of a realization she made. Lizzie had used up all her clean pajamas.

"You can wear something of mine if you'd like," I suggested a little uneasy at the thought. Lizzie wouldn't want to wear something of mine. She'd probably find that to personal, and now that I had suggested I expected her to be uneasy at the thought. What she said next only proved further that you need to expect the unexpected.

"You wouldn't mind? That would be perfect."

"No of course I wouldn't mind silly, you know where my clothes are kept, why don't you go find something."

"Fabulous" she jumped forward kissing my cheek and flew up the stairs. I stood in my same spot, slowly rubbing my cheek, smiling to no one but myself. The doorbell woke me up from my daze, when Lizzie yelled down the stairs,

"Could you get that? I'm not decent. I left money of the coffee table."

"You're not paying for the pizza girly." I yelled back up at her, grabbed my wallet and walked over to the door. I paid the pizza guy and had just finished bringing the pizza into the kitchen as Lizzie came bouncing down the stairs.

"Mister, you had better have used my money for that pizza. It was my idea, therefor my treat."

"Lizzie, shush. I paid, you'll get over it." I smiled at her.

"You're turn, go get into your pajamas. I'll make the popcorn."

I did as she said, and when I returned to living room the couch had been turned into a sea of blankets and pillows. I laughed, the couch was a pullout bed, but she hadn't known that. "Lizzie, that can be made into a bed, it's a pullout. Wouldn't that be a little more comfortable?"

"Yah, it would be. I didn't know." She stared sadly at her blankets and pillows before ripping them off the couch. "Can you help me pull this thing out?"

Together we managed to turn the couch into a bed, and while she rearranged the blankets and pillows to be another masterpiece of comfort, I went around the house locking all the doors and windows.

Finally we were ready to settle down and begin our movies. I got settled into the bed/couch as Lizzie started the first movie. O Brother Where Art Thou, then came and settled in beside me.

We watched in silence, eating our pizza and popcorn, I found the silence to be mocking me. I hadn't talked to Lizzie yet, but it was the only thing on my mind. I stared at the screen but didn't watch the movie. My thoughts were only on Lizzie.

"Gordo, you're turn to chose a movie," Lizzie said quietly when O Brother ended. I got up and absent mindly threw on a movie. "Really Gordo? Donnie Darko?"

"Yah, it's a good movie." She gave me a confused look and then turned to the screen again. I settled back into my spot. Half way through the movie I had to do something. "Lizzie." I said quietly, a little unsure of myself.

She looked up at me with sleepy eyes. I cupped her chin in my hand, and brought my face closer to hers. I was about to kiss her when she whispered, "wait." I jumped back. I had thought for sure she would have kissed me. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she didn't like me at all. I started to panic. Had I just wrecked our friendship by trying to kiss her?

She sat up on the couch and faced me, brushed her hair out of her face. I couldn't help but take in her beauty, she was wearing one of my old T-shirts, and it was long on her so she hadn't put pajama pants on, and she was so gorgeous at that moment.

"Gordo, how do you feel about me?" she asked.

I didn't know what to say. I had spent so much time thinking about how I felt about her; I didn't bother to think of how I would tell her. I wanted what I had to say to come out perfectly. I needed to tell her just how deep my feelings for her were. I wasn't sure I would be able to do that. I looked around the room hoping for something to distract her from this conversation. Finally something in my world fell into place; the phone started to ring. I jumped up to answer it.

I darted to the phone, only to hear Lizzie's mom on the other line. "Hi Gordo, is Lizzie near you?"

"Yes she is, just one moment." I said in my polite adult voice and handed the phone over to Lizzie. Normally I would have listened to what Lizzie was saying on this end of the phone, but right now I had to figure out what to say when she hung up with her mom.

When Lizzie hung up the phone, she looked over at me, obviously still awaiting an answer. "You really want to know?" I asked, she slowly nodded her head.

I inhaled deeply, hoping not to screw this up.

"You're my best friend, I would never want to do something that could sacrifice that. You mean the world to me, and I don't know how I would live without you. You are my rock. You're there to help me with everything, even if you're just offering a smile; it's that smile that makes my world turn.

Last year I started to look at you in a different light, you were no longer my best friend. I started to find myself attracted to you, and I have tried to hide these feelings because I didn't think you would ever feel the same way about me. I always felt that I was just your geeky friend. Someone you could never see in the same way I see you.
Lizzie McGuire, you are what I fall asleep thinking of, you are the most wonderful person I have ever met. You're nice to everyone, even those who are mean to you. You're so beautiful inside and out. I don't know how I didn't notice this sooner, but you're perfect. There's nothing about you I would change.

I dream of holding you and just feeling you near me. Lizzie, I feel so much for you, I just can't express it all. You are the film of my movie."

A tear rolled down her cheek. She reached her arm up and ran her hand through my hair. I sat there nervous. I didn't understand what she was doing, why was she crying? She moved her hand down from my hair and to my cheek. Slowly running the tips of her fingers up and down my face. She looked down for a second and wipe her tear away then back up at me.

"Gordo." she whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear her. I took her hand away from my face and interlocked our fingers.

"Lizzie." I whispered back. She slowly leaned in towards me, I felt myself moving closer to her. It all happened so slowly, like in one of those old movies where they slow down the love scenes so they seem so much more dramatic and romantic. I saw Lizzie's eyes flutter closed, just before my own did the same. I untangled one of my hands and brought it up to her face so I could hold her close fearing this moment may slip away from us, my worry was not needed.

Our lips made contact, instantly I could taste the sweet cherry flavour of her lip-gloss. Taking in everything about, the way she moved, the way she smelled, the way she tasted, but mostly the way her free hand was stroking my thigh. I never wanted this moment to end.

And while Donnie Darko played on in the background, Lizzie and I shared our first real kiss.