Disclaimer: All things Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling.
Thanks goes to Snapebbwlover for beta reading. I also owe my thanks to Estrilda for grammar beta reading for me.
The Gifts of Love
Chapter 13: Awake... but back to sleep!
Hermione slowly forced her eyes open. When opened enough to make out some details things were fuzzy and gray. Her eyes burned from being closed for so long. They felt dry, Hermione blinked a few times trying to get things into focus. She knew her body was stiff; she could feel her muscles were tight. Gingerly, she started to raise her arms and flex her fingers awakening the muscles from the days of rest.
Pain and stiffness were almost welcome to Hermione. It meant she was awake. But she also knew her lover's fate was probably not as good. When her eyes had become used to the gray tones of the room and saw outlines of shapes she looked next to her. She was surprised she was in bed with him. Severus. Her body still protesting from its abuse sent shots of pain through her as she touched Severus' cheek with her hand.
"Severus?" Hermione tried to whisper but her voice barely cracked a sound. Her mouth was too dry to speak clearly.
[Severus?] Hermione tried telepathy.
[Love?] She tried again after a few long seconds.
After several long moments of waiting for any sign from him, she received none. Hermione let the tears fall as she rested her head on his chest.
----------
Draco opened the door to the bedroom to check on Hermione and Severus. It was his turn, though he volunteered as much as he could. Hermione and Severus were the two people he loved the most as his family. When Draco walked in he realized Hermione had moved and was sleeping curled up next to Severus. He quickly approached to the bed and tapped softly on the young witch's shoulder. "Hermione," he spoke softly.
After a few more taps and softly toned whispers, she started to stir.
Hermione rolled over and opened her eyes to see Draco smiling down at her. Hermione leapt up and hugged Draco tightly. Draco returned the hug enthusiastically, "It's good to see you awake Hermione!"
Hermione cried a few tears in Draco's arms. "Severus lost his mind, didn't he?"
Draco didn't answer verbally he just nodded knowing she could feel the movement.
"Is there anything that can be done?" she asked.
It broke Draco's heart more when he had to answer, "No."
"That's not quite true, my boy." Dumbledore interrupted the two.
They released each other and faced the Headmaster and Deputy Headmaster. The two professors held small hopeful smiles on their faces.
"What do you mean, sir?" Hermione asked before Draco could himself.
"There is an ancient spell, before the Cruciatus curse, that allows a lover to enter their partner's mind. Once in the mind, Hermione, you would be able to find Severus and both of you can be freed. But if you are unable to find him, you will be lost within his mind."
"What do I need to do?" Hermione asked without hesitation. Her choices were obvious: life without Severus, life trapped in Severus' mind or life with Severus. She could not bare the thought of life without him. If she was lost in his mind then so be it, she would have at least tried to free him.
"My dear, are you sure you want to do this?" McGonagall asked to make sure.
"Yes, there is no choice. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try."
"Very well. When would you like to do this?" Dumbledore asked, though he wished they could wait a few more days for Hermione to rest more the sooner they did the spell the better chances for Severus and her.
"Now," Hermione answered with conviction.
Dumbledore nodded and turned to McGonagall and spoke a few hushed words. McGonagall nodded and left the chambers. Dumbledore turned back to Hermione and started to explain in more detail about the spell.
Twenty minutes later, Hermione was back on the bed facing Severus. She held his hand tightly in hers. Within the grasp of their hands she held both of their wands the way Dumbledore had told her how to perform the spell. She closed her eyes and pictured the moments she treasured the most with Severus.
Her heart filled with love, wonder and happiness. She remembered flashes of them talking the after she was cursed, when they had admitted their love for each other. The times they made love. The memory of his arms wrapped around her when they would sit on the couch and read a book together. The two of them alone were the happiest moments.
Hermione said the charm. Unitas mens mentis et cor cordis. Of one mind and heart. She closed her eyes and felt her mind float free. Then suddenly she found herself on a featureless gray field. Bleak and cold. She looked around and spied a dark shape in the distance. As she made her way towards it she began to hear an irritating buzzing. It reminded her of a swarm of angry bees. As she drew nearer the dark shape grew more distinct and the noise louder. There in front of her was a large angry mob.
The rabble, she saw, was composed of multiples of people. She could see a very young Severus and a man who by his looks could only be his father. She saw Severus, who could be no more than five or six trembling as his father yelled at and belittled him. She looked away from the heart wrenching scene before her only to have her heart stopped at the sight of Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy.
They were standing there with cruel smiles on their faces as Voldemort branded a teenage Severus. Her heart broke at the sight; she wanted to hex the smug looks off their faces. She forced herself to look away again and saw to her shock Sirius and Harry's father making fun of an eleven or twelve year old Severus. Their words were vicious and demeaning and she shook with anger and indignation. She knew these were the darkest memories of his past. The ones that haunted and shaped the man.
----------
Harry, Ron and Ginny entered through the fireplace floo to see Dumbledore, McGonagall and Draco sitting around waiting. They weren't expecting such gathering.
"What's happened?" Harry asked immediately.
"Hermione woke up," Draco started but before he could finish explaining though the three friends rushed to the bedroom.
All they saw though was Hermione on her side very close lying next to Severus.
"Hermione?" Harry rushed to the bed.
But Hermione did not stir.
"Harry, there is more to explain," Dumbledore said standing in the doorway.
Harry turned to Dumbledore along with Ron and Ginny, "But..."
"Please come sit down," Dumbledore requested, indicating the sitting room.
----------
Severus didn't know how long he had been trapped in his own mind. It could have been hours, days, or years. He felt do tired and battered but the memories would not leave him in peace. He tried forcing his way through the bevy of people but to no effect.
He couldn't take this much longer; he had no strength left to fight. He could feel his energy being drained from him. He was so tired and heart sick. He hung his in shame and despair. He lay down in defeat. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the voices. He thought of Hermione. Mia. His dearest heart. 'Oh fate could be so cruel,' Severus thought bitterly, 'to give him a taste of happiness only to have it torn away all too soon.'
All he had ever wanted was to be loved. Merlin! For someone just to show him a little kindness. Oh true Albus had showed him some but by then it had been too late.
His father had seen to that. His father had set the standard of his life. Made him believe he wasn't worthy of kindness. Was too pathetic to be loved. His father's attempts to make him strong and self-sufficient had only caused him to become a shy, angry introvert. When he finally got his Hogwarts letter, he thought he would finally get out from under his father's thumb but no sooner then he stepped on the train, he was reminded that he would never be free.
He hadn't been there more than 10 minutes when he was accosted by Black and Potter. Taunting him about his looks and shoving him back and forth between them. And in the back of his head he could hear his father's pitiless voice telling him how ashamed he was to have him for a son. When Lucius came by and told them off, he was eternally grateful. And Lucius, of course knew how to take advantage of that. Oh Severus knew he was being used by Malfoy, only wanted him as a sycophant and for his skill at potions. But Severus didn't care, at least he was wanted. He was the first person to show him any kindness who respected his intelligence. Was it any wonder why he followed Lucius to Voldemort? With his promises of power and acceptance. No one laughed at a Death Eater.
He was a fool. He joined but the acceptance came at too high a price. Now he was tainted and it was too late. He would go to Dumbledore. Confess his sins, accept his fate, and spend the rest of his pathetic existence rotting in Azkaban. But Albus took pity on him. Gave him a chance to atone for his crimes. Forgave him. But he would never forgive himself. He was soiled with the foulest of foul. No one would ever see past his sins. No one would ever love him now.
But she did. She saw past it all. She loved him. He still had a hard time believing it. And he loved her in return but now he was alone again.
----------
Harry and Ron wanted to argue but could tell Dumbledore would not put up with it. Ginny simply did as asked and when she walked back into the sitting room she saw Remus had joined the group. Ginny sat next to Remus, though, not too closely, Harry and Ron were not aware of the relationship yet. Draco sat on the other side of Ginny. Harry and Ron sat on another couch that had been added recently for everyone. Dumbledore and McGonagall took their original seats again.
"Hermione did wake up this morning. She is alright," Dumbledore started.
"Then why didn't she wake up when I called her?" Harry asked urgently.
"Because Hermione chose to do a spell that could help Severus awaken," Dumbledore said taking a pause.
"And if she doesn't succeed?" Ginny asked though already having a sense of what would happen.
"Then she would remain the state she is in currently," Dumbledore answered.
"Why did you let her do it then?" Ron said getting angry.
"Because it was her decision, Mr. Weasley," McGonagall spoke firmly.
"But it could cost her, her life!" Ron said with force.
"But she feels her life is worth risking for his..." Harry solemnly said. "Because she loves him."
Ron looked at Harry with shock.
Harry continued, "Ron you would do the same for Luna as I would for Padma."
Ron let his mouth shut knowing Harry was correct. Everyone sat in silence for a moment, "What can we do to help?" Ron asked, he was not happy just sitting around and waiting.
----------
Hermione fought her way through the horde, she could feel the powerful emotions from them hammering into her. It made her sick. She swallowed hard and propelled herself with renewed determination. When she finally broke through the mass she found Severus lying on his side with his knees drawn up. He was deathly still. The intensity of the emotions coming from the group was extreme here. It took a lot of strength of will not to let it affect her and although she had only been here for a short time she could already feel them taking their toll. But Severus had been here for over a week. She ached at the sight of him.
----------
"Mr. Weasley, there is nothing to be done but wait," McGonagall explained. "Ms. Granger must do this on her own."
Harry and Ron were disheartened upon hearing that. They wished for something, anything to help Hermione.
Remus knew the boys were not going to take this very well. He was hoping to do something but besides helping with DADA there was not much to do. But then there was the self-defense Severus and he taught the girls. Perhaps they would be interested in such training themselves. "Albus, with your permission I would like to take the boys to the training room?"
Dumbledore understood what Remus was getting at immediately. "Yes, of course."
"Training room?" Harry questioned.
"Yes, come with me. Ginny, you too," Remus said automatically.
Ginny also understood what Remus was thinking about and easily agreed. Perhaps this would help her as well to keep her mind off her best friend. Draco had known about the training the girls had undertaken and assumed Remus had planned the same for them. Physical exercise was a good way to relieve stress and worry. Draco hoped Harry and Ron would go along.
----------
What Severus had wanted for so long had finally come only to be ripped cruelly away. He knew he should be happy that he had been given the chance at all. And he was but to never hold her, see her again was too painful and more than he could bear. He closed his eyes and wept.
He didn't know how long he had lain there like that and no longer cared. He prayed that death would come and take him and set him free from this torture. Although he hated to think of what his death would do to Hermione, but she was young and strong. He hoped that since they had only been together a short time that she would try to move on and find another but he knew that so long as he lived she never would. And he loved her enough to let her go.
So he let go. He stopped fighting the battering waves and let himself be swept away.
----------
Remus and the students had gone to the training room. After explaining to the boys about the self-defense sessions previously given to the girls they looked forward to the physical exercise and tension outlet.
Several hours after grueling exercise the boys went back to their dorm thinking Ginny had done the same.
Draco had wanted to be by himself even though Harry and Ron invited him back to their room or offered to go with him to his. Draco refused both offers. He knew Harry and Ron would want to be with their girlfriends for moral support even if they could not talk about what was taking place. And Ginny would be with Remus. Draco was feeling pitiful for himself; he had no one but wished he did. This was when he missed Hermione and Severus the most. Hermione could easily understand him and Severus was his mentor.
----------
She fell to her knees beside him and gently called his name. She saw him shiver slightly but there was no other response. She felt fear rip through her as she thought that she might be too late. She placed her hand on his face and whispered his name again. She felt another shiver go through him, stronger this time and her fear was replaced by hope.
She continued calling his name and stroking his face. Telling him that she loved him over and over. The shivers turned to a constant trembling. She heard him moan and bent down to kiss his cheek. She begged him to come back to her, that she needed him. That she was here and loved him and that he wasn't alone. His moans grew louder and his eyes began to flutter. He blindly reached out to her and she held him close. Tears of hope running down her face.
----------
Days continued to pass for Hogwarts while Hermione and Severus were still unconscious.
Remus and the boys along with Ginny continued to use the training room for release of emotions and worry. They continued to visit Hermione and Severus regularly but besides sitting next to the bed and waiting nothing else could be done.
----------
The clamor from his past was deafening so he was unsure if he heard a new voice speak his name. Although something in the periphery of his mind sensed a new presence. He was too worn out to take all that much notice. Then there it was again, clearer and more insistent. Oh sweet Merlin, no. She was here, in his mind. He didn't know how it was possible but he knew this was real. He tried to fight his way back to consciousness, if he died now she would be lost forever. He refused to have another death on his conscience, especially hers. He tried to fight his way back, struggled to get to her. He fought to open his eyes.
He felt her hand on his face, heard her call his name and beg him not to leave her. He reached blindly out to her and felt her embrace. He could feel her heart beating against his own. He could feel her warm tears fall on his cheeks; it both broke his heart and steeled his resolve. He would not let it end like this.
Severus opened his eyes.
"Hermione…what…what are you doing here?" Severus whispered weakly.
"Severus my love. Oh thank Merlin. I'm here." Hermione's voice was filled with relief. "Minerva found a spell that would allow me to enter your mind and try and bring you back. Its called…"
But Severus cut her off. "Damn it Hermione, I know of the spell. What would possess you to use it? Do you not know how dangerous it is? Why would you take such a foolish risk?"
"What?!" she asked incredulously. "How can you ask me that? You are my soul mate. My life. My love. Damn it! You are worth the risk. We are."
"Mia…" Severus said in a softer tone. "I know you love me but you are young and beautiful and intelligent. To risk throwing your entire future away on such a slim chance, especially for someone like me. Its…"
But now it was her turn to cut him off. "Someone like you? The most honorable, bravest, most brilliant man I have ever known..." she sighed, "I would have no future if I didn't try! I wouldn't want one without you!"
Hermione shook her head and smiled at him. "That's why I came."
Severus looked at her in amazed wonderment. He would never know what he had done to deserve such an incredible gift but he didn't care anymore. He loved her and he would never again let her go. He wrapped her in his arms, feeling her heart beat against his and kissed her.
"Come its, time to go home."
"Severus… How?"
"Together my love. Together." He took her small hands in his; it was time to face his demons.
As they confronted each set of images they faded like the long forgotten memories they should have been. When the last of the memories were gone Severus and Hermione stood alone. And all was peacefully silent.
"They're gone. After all these years to finally lay them to rest. To be free of the torment. I could never have done this without you Mia." Severus embraced her and could hear her heart beating in time with his own.
They stayed that way for a long time.
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To be continued...
Thanks goes to Snapebbwlover for beta reading. I also owe my thanks to Estrilda for grammar beta reading for me.
The Gifts of Love
Chapter 13: Awake... but back to sleep!
Hermione slowly forced her eyes open. When opened enough to make out some details things were fuzzy and gray. Her eyes burned from being closed for so long. They felt dry, Hermione blinked a few times trying to get things into focus. She knew her body was stiff; she could feel her muscles were tight. Gingerly, she started to raise her arms and flex her fingers awakening the muscles from the days of rest.
Pain and stiffness were almost welcome to Hermione. It meant she was awake. But she also knew her lover's fate was probably not as good. When her eyes had become used to the gray tones of the room and saw outlines of shapes she looked next to her. She was surprised she was in bed with him. Severus. Her body still protesting from its abuse sent shots of pain through her as she touched Severus' cheek with her hand.
"Severus?" Hermione tried to whisper but her voice barely cracked a sound. Her mouth was too dry to speak clearly.
[Severus?] Hermione tried telepathy.
[Love?] She tried again after a few long seconds.
After several long moments of waiting for any sign from him, she received none. Hermione let the tears fall as she rested her head on his chest.
----------
Draco opened the door to the bedroom to check on Hermione and Severus. It was his turn, though he volunteered as much as he could. Hermione and Severus were the two people he loved the most as his family. When Draco walked in he realized Hermione had moved and was sleeping curled up next to Severus. He quickly approached to the bed and tapped softly on the young witch's shoulder. "Hermione," he spoke softly.
After a few more taps and softly toned whispers, she started to stir.
Hermione rolled over and opened her eyes to see Draco smiling down at her. Hermione leapt up and hugged Draco tightly. Draco returned the hug enthusiastically, "It's good to see you awake Hermione!"
Hermione cried a few tears in Draco's arms. "Severus lost his mind, didn't he?"
Draco didn't answer verbally he just nodded knowing she could feel the movement.
"Is there anything that can be done?" she asked.
It broke Draco's heart more when he had to answer, "No."
"That's not quite true, my boy." Dumbledore interrupted the two.
They released each other and faced the Headmaster and Deputy Headmaster. The two professors held small hopeful smiles on their faces.
"What do you mean, sir?" Hermione asked before Draco could himself.
"There is an ancient spell, before the Cruciatus curse, that allows a lover to enter their partner's mind. Once in the mind, Hermione, you would be able to find Severus and both of you can be freed. But if you are unable to find him, you will be lost within his mind."
"What do I need to do?" Hermione asked without hesitation. Her choices were obvious: life without Severus, life trapped in Severus' mind or life with Severus. She could not bare the thought of life without him. If she was lost in his mind then so be it, she would have at least tried to free him.
"My dear, are you sure you want to do this?" McGonagall asked to make sure.
"Yes, there is no choice. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try."
"Very well. When would you like to do this?" Dumbledore asked, though he wished they could wait a few more days for Hermione to rest more the sooner they did the spell the better chances for Severus and her.
"Now," Hermione answered with conviction.
Dumbledore nodded and turned to McGonagall and spoke a few hushed words. McGonagall nodded and left the chambers. Dumbledore turned back to Hermione and started to explain in more detail about the spell.
Twenty minutes later, Hermione was back on the bed facing Severus. She held his hand tightly in hers. Within the grasp of their hands she held both of their wands the way Dumbledore had told her how to perform the spell. She closed her eyes and pictured the moments she treasured the most with Severus.
Her heart filled with love, wonder and happiness. She remembered flashes of them talking the after she was cursed, when they had admitted their love for each other. The times they made love. The memory of his arms wrapped around her when they would sit on the couch and read a book together. The two of them alone were the happiest moments.
Hermione said the charm. Unitas mens mentis et cor cordis. Of one mind and heart. She closed her eyes and felt her mind float free. Then suddenly she found herself on a featureless gray field. Bleak and cold. She looked around and spied a dark shape in the distance. As she made her way towards it she began to hear an irritating buzzing. It reminded her of a swarm of angry bees. As she drew nearer the dark shape grew more distinct and the noise louder. There in front of her was a large angry mob.
The rabble, she saw, was composed of multiples of people. She could see a very young Severus and a man who by his looks could only be his father. She saw Severus, who could be no more than five or six trembling as his father yelled at and belittled him. She looked away from the heart wrenching scene before her only to have her heart stopped at the sight of Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy.
They were standing there with cruel smiles on their faces as Voldemort branded a teenage Severus. Her heart broke at the sight; she wanted to hex the smug looks off their faces. She forced herself to look away again and saw to her shock Sirius and Harry's father making fun of an eleven or twelve year old Severus. Their words were vicious and demeaning and she shook with anger and indignation. She knew these were the darkest memories of his past. The ones that haunted and shaped the man.
----------
Harry, Ron and Ginny entered through the fireplace floo to see Dumbledore, McGonagall and Draco sitting around waiting. They weren't expecting such gathering.
"What's happened?" Harry asked immediately.
"Hermione woke up," Draco started but before he could finish explaining though the three friends rushed to the bedroom.
All they saw though was Hermione on her side very close lying next to Severus.
"Hermione?" Harry rushed to the bed.
But Hermione did not stir.
"Harry, there is more to explain," Dumbledore said standing in the doorway.
Harry turned to Dumbledore along with Ron and Ginny, "But..."
"Please come sit down," Dumbledore requested, indicating the sitting room.
----------
Severus didn't know how long he had been trapped in his own mind. It could have been hours, days, or years. He felt do tired and battered but the memories would not leave him in peace. He tried forcing his way through the bevy of people but to no effect.
He couldn't take this much longer; he had no strength left to fight. He could feel his energy being drained from him. He was so tired and heart sick. He hung his in shame and despair. He lay down in defeat. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the voices. He thought of Hermione. Mia. His dearest heart. 'Oh fate could be so cruel,' Severus thought bitterly, 'to give him a taste of happiness only to have it torn away all too soon.'
All he had ever wanted was to be loved. Merlin! For someone just to show him a little kindness. Oh true Albus had showed him some but by then it had been too late.
His father had seen to that. His father had set the standard of his life. Made him believe he wasn't worthy of kindness. Was too pathetic to be loved. His father's attempts to make him strong and self-sufficient had only caused him to become a shy, angry introvert. When he finally got his Hogwarts letter, he thought he would finally get out from under his father's thumb but no sooner then he stepped on the train, he was reminded that he would never be free.
He hadn't been there more than 10 minutes when he was accosted by Black and Potter. Taunting him about his looks and shoving him back and forth between them. And in the back of his head he could hear his father's pitiless voice telling him how ashamed he was to have him for a son. When Lucius came by and told them off, he was eternally grateful. And Lucius, of course knew how to take advantage of that. Oh Severus knew he was being used by Malfoy, only wanted him as a sycophant and for his skill at potions. But Severus didn't care, at least he was wanted. He was the first person to show him any kindness who respected his intelligence. Was it any wonder why he followed Lucius to Voldemort? With his promises of power and acceptance. No one laughed at a Death Eater.
He was a fool. He joined but the acceptance came at too high a price. Now he was tainted and it was too late. He would go to Dumbledore. Confess his sins, accept his fate, and spend the rest of his pathetic existence rotting in Azkaban. But Albus took pity on him. Gave him a chance to atone for his crimes. Forgave him. But he would never forgive himself. He was soiled with the foulest of foul. No one would ever see past his sins. No one would ever love him now.
But she did. She saw past it all. She loved him. He still had a hard time believing it. And he loved her in return but now he was alone again.
----------
Harry and Ron wanted to argue but could tell Dumbledore would not put up with it. Ginny simply did as asked and when she walked back into the sitting room she saw Remus had joined the group. Ginny sat next to Remus, though, not too closely, Harry and Ron were not aware of the relationship yet. Draco sat on the other side of Ginny. Harry and Ron sat on another couch that had been added recently for everyone. Dumbledore and McGonagall took their original seats again.
"Hermione did wake up this morning. She is alright," Dumbledore started.
"Then why didn't she wake up when I called her?" Harry asked urgently.
"Because Hermione chose to do a spell that could help Severus awaken," Dumbledore said taking a pause.
"And if she doesn't succeed?" Ginny asked though already having a sense of what would happen.
"Then she would remain the state she is in currently," Dumbledore answered.
"Why did you let her do it then?" Ron said getting angry.
"Because it was her decision, Mr. Weasley," McGonagall spoke firmly.
"But it could cost her, her life!" Ron said with force.
"But she feels her life is worth risking for his..." Harry solemnly said. "Because she loves him."
Ron looked at Harry with shock.
Harry continued, "Ron you would do the same for Luna as I would for Padma."
Ron let his mouth shut knowing Harry was correct. Everyone sat in silence for a moment, "What can we do to help?" Ron asked, he was not happy just sitting around and waiting.
----------
Hermione fought her way through the horde, she could feel the powerful emotions from them hammering into her. It made her sick. She swallowed hard and propelled herself with renewed determination. When she finally broke through the mass she found Severus lying on his side with his knees drawn up. He was deathly still. The intensity of the emotions coming from the group was extreme here. It took a lot of strength of will not to let it affect her and although she had only been here for a short time she could already feel them taking their toll. But Severus had been here for over a week. She ached at the sight of him.
----------
"Mr. Weasley, there is nothing to be done but wait," McGonagall explained. "Ms. Granger must do this on her own."
Harry and Ron were disheartened upon hearing that. They wished for something, anything to help Hermione.
Remus knew the boys were not going to take this very well. He was hoping to do something but besides helping with DADA there was not much to do. But then there was the self-defense Severus and he taught the girls. Perhaps they would be interested in such training themselves. "Albus, with your permission I would like to take the boys to the training room?"
Dumbledore understood what Remus was getting at immediately. "Yes, of course."
"Training room?" Harry questioned.
"Yes, come with me. Ginny, you too," Remus said automatically.
Ginny also understood what Remus was thinking about and easily agreed. Perhaps this would help her as well to keep her mind off her best friend. Draco had known about the training the girls had undertaken and assumed Remus had planned the same for them. Physical exercise was a good way to relieve stress and worry. Draco hoped Harry and Ron would go along.
----------
What Severus had wanted for so long had finally come only to be ripped cruelly away. He knew he should be happy that he had been given the chance at all. And he was but to never hold her, see her again was too painful and more than he could bear. He closed his eyes and wept.
He didn't know how long he had lain there like that and no longer cared. He prayed that death would come and take him and set him free from this torture. Although he hated to think of what his death would do to Hermione, but she was young and strong. He hoped that since they had only been together a short time that she would try to move on and find another but he knew that so long as he lived she never would. And he loved her enough to let her go.
So he let go. He stopped fighting the battering waves and let himself be swept away.
----------
Remus and the students had gone to the training room. After explaining to the boys about the self-defense sessions previously given to the girls they looked forward to the physical exercise and tension outlet.
Several hours after grueling exercise the boys went back to their dorm thinking Ginny had done the same.
Draco had wanted to be by himself even though Harry and Ron invited him back to their room or offered to go with him to his. Draco refused both offers. He knew Harry and Ron would want to be with their girlfriends for moral support even if they could not talk about what was taking place. And Ginny would be with Remus. Draco was feeling pitiful for himself; he had no one but wished he did. This was when he missed Hermione and Severus the most. Hermione could easily understand him and Severus was his mentor.
----------
She fell to her knees beside him and gently called his name. She saw him shiver slightly but there was no other response. She felt fear rip through her as she thought that she might be too late. She placed her hand on his face and whispered his name again. She felt another shiver go through him, stronger this time and her fear was replaced by hope.
She continued calling his name and stroking his face. Telling him that she loved him over and over. The shivers turned to a constant trembling. She heard him moan and bent down to kiss his cheek. She begged him to come back to her, that she needed him. That she was here and loved him and that he wasn't alone. His moans grew louder and his eyes began to flutter. He blindly reached out to her and she held him close. Tears of hope running down her face.
----------
Days continued to pass for Hogwarts while Hermione and Severus were still unconscious.
Remus and the boys along with Ginny continued to use the training room for release of emotions and worry. They continued to visit Hermione and Severus regularly but besides sitting next to the bed and waiting nothing else could be done.
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The clamor from his past was deafening so he was unsure if he heard a new voice speak his name. Although something in the periphery of his mind sensed a new presence. He was too worn out to take all that much notice. Then there it was again, clearer and more insistent. Oh sweet Merlin, no. She was here, in his mind. He didn't know how it was possible but he knew this was real. He tried to fight his way back to consciousness, if he died now she would be lost forever. He refused to have another death on his conscience, especially hers. He tried to fight his way back, struggled to get to her. He fought to open his eyes.
He felt her hand on his face, heard her call his name and beg him not to leave her. He reached blindly out to her and felt her embrace. He could feel her heart beating against his own. He could feel her warm tears fall on his cheeks; it both broke his heart and steeled his resolve. He would not let it end like this.
Severus opened his eyes.
"Hermione…what…what are you doing here?" Severus whispered weakly.
"Severus my love. Oh thank Merlin. I'm here." Hermione's voice was filled with relief. "Minerva found a spell that would allow me to enter your mind and try and bring you back. Its called…"
But Severus cut her off. "Damn it Hermione, I know of the spell. What would possess you to use it? Do you not know how dangerous it is? Why would you take such a foolish risk?"
"What?!" she asked incredulously. "How can you ask me that? You are my soul mate. My life. My love. Damn it! You are worth the risk. We are."
"Mia…" Severus said in a softer tone. "I know you love me but you are young and beautiful and intelligent. To risk throwing your entire future away on such a slim chance, especially for someone like me. Its…"
But now it was her turn to cut him off. "Someone like you? The most honorable, bravest, most brilliant man I have ever known..." she sighed, "I would have no future if I didn't try! I wouldn't want one without you!"
Hermione shook her head and smiled at him. "That's why I came."
Severus looked at her in amazed wonderment. He would never know what he had done to deserve such an incredible gift but he didn't care anymore. He loved her and he would never again let her go. He wrapped her in his arms, feeling her heart beat against his and kissed her.
"Come its, time to go home."
"Severus… How?"
"Together my love. Together." He took her small hands in his; it was time to face his demons.
As they confronted each set of images they faded like the long forgotten memories they should have been. When the last of the memories were gone Severus and Hermione stood alone. And all was peacefully silent.
"They're gone. After all these years to finally lay them to rest. To be free of the torment. I could never have done this without you Mia." Severus embraced her and could hear her heart beating in time with his own.
They stayed that way for a long time.
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To be continued...