Memories and Lullabies
The sky was thick and velvety black with clouds that had rolled in over the horizon, terminating the brilliant blue depths of the once-afternoon sky. Rain poured from the heavens like the tears of so many angels, covering the ground in water and mud. Ashes mixed with the raindrops, having been spewed into the air by Mount Aleph's wrath. Lightning cut the sky into a jagged line with a sharp white knife, while thunder growled as it loomed over the plains of central Angara.
The travelers, a group of six, had come knocking at the inn's door in the middle of the storm. Miada, the innkeeper, had unfortunately been forced to turn them away—there was only one room in the inn, and three men were already occupying it. She'd also had to refuse Master Hammet, the richest merchant in all the lands, because of the lack of accommodations her inn held.
Due to this, she was pondering adding some space on to the tiny inn.
Still, she couldn't forget the way two of the travelers had looked beneath their cloaks—the mask-like markings that were seemingly painted on their odd-colored faces, the long, pointed ears, but mostly the eyes. The blood-red eyes.
Suppressing a shudder, she continued counting her money. Those three guests they had were generous with payment, if nothing else.
Meanwhile, Saturos had managed to find a cave for the group to spend the night in. It was dangerously close to the thieving town of Lunpa, but it was only for one night, and, by his reasoning, even a thief would have second thoughts about going out in this weather.
They had passed a line of trade caravans on the way, where a rather rich merchant named Hammet had been staying. Apparently, he, too, had been turned away from the inn. His group was fairly large, so it was understandable that the inn hadn't been able to accommodate them.
However, there had been a small blonde boy among the older merchants who had an eerie aura. Something about him gave Saturos and Menardi the impression of cold mountain winds and thunderstorms, along with reminding them of the old healer's power in Contigo. They would have abducted him if not for the men all around.
"Besides," Alex had said, "do we really wish to take a chance when we are not even sure if the power is coming from him?" The Mercury Adept had a point there; so many men were around that it was hard to tell if the aura really was coming from the boy.
But Menardi swore that she had seen power in those large violet eyes the boy had. And the way he kept staring at them!
"In any case," Saturos said as he finished bringing the supplies into the cave as Alex guided him with a small lantern, "it's too late to go back and snatch him now. He seemed to be the favorite of the guards and that Hammet fellow. We couldn't get away with him if we tried." As he sat down, Alex set the lantern down as well.
"But what if he's one of those two children the Healer in Contigo was talking about?" Menardi demanded. "He's our only hope, Saturos!"
Saturos sighed, pulling off his headgear and letting his silver hair course around his chin. "We'll have another chance, Menardi. I'm sure of it."
Menardi took this opportunity to pull off her own headband. Her long blonde hair was soaked with rain, and she began to carefully wring it out near the side of the cave. Jenna and Kraden remained near the entrance, silently shivering as Alex herded them inside.
Jenna shot the Mercury Adept a dirty look. "If you so much as touch me again, I'll kill you," she warned in an overly cheerful tone. Alex just smirked back at her, his eyes sparkling with interest and amusement.
Felix saw the smart comment forming on his lips, and interrupted, "Leave my sister alone, Alex."
"That goes for you, too!" Jenna exclaimed, turning to face him. "You have no proof that you're really my brother! He's dead, so quit acting like you're him!"
Felix turned away, grief in his eyes.
"Really, girl, what reason do we have to lie to you?" Menardi demanded. "Felix protected you within the Sanctum. Not a day of those three years went by without him thinking of you. And now you blatantly turn him away?"
Jenna glared at the older woman. "He is not my brother," she whispered, her tone of voice deadly with warning.
"No matter how you try to assure yourself of that, it's incorrect," Saturos said. "He is Felix, your brother. And he's missed you more than anything, so you could try to be civil to him, girl."
"Saturos, leave her alone," Felix interrupted. "She can think what she wants to. I don't wish to deny her of that."
Menardi shook her head. "But Felix, she—"
Felix gave Menardi a weak smile. "It's perfectly all right. Don't worry about it, Menardi."
Still muttering to herself about how ungrateful Jenna was, Menardi sat down. "Alex, did you get some wood like I asked you to?"
"Yes, but it's rather drenched, I'm afraid," Alex replied, setting a small pile of sticks on the cave floor.
"It doesn't matter," Saturos said. He held out one clawed blue hand. Fire bloomed in his palm before flying to the wood and setting it ablaze. A cloud of wet black smoke followed before the tinder dried and began to burn merrily.
Kraden's eyes were wide. "You are Adepts?" he gasped as Alex extinguished the lantern.
"Come now, Master Kraden, if we weren't, then how could we gain access to Sol Sanctum's inner chambers?" Saturos said.
"By following us, of course!" Jenna said, looking annoyed.
"Wrong, girl," Menardi said, shaking her head in Jenna's direction. "We've been to Sol Sanctum once, long before you and your friends ever considered such an idea. How else could we have been able to give Kraden such detailed directions?"
Jenna's eyes widened as she worked out the details. "The storm was triggered by Sol Sanctum," she whispered. "That's what that trap was supposed to do, right, Kraden?"
"Well, yes, I suppose," Kraden stammered.
Jenna leapt to her feet. "You're the ones who triggered that storm!"
"Be assured, girl, we're not proud of that fact," Menardi replied. "Many of our people died that night."
Jenna wrinkled her nose and turned away. "I'm going to bed!" she announced, retreating to a corner of the cavern.
"Fine," Alex told her, "but you should know that I'll be sleeping near the entrance to keep you or Master Kraden from exiting in the night. Know that I am not a heavy sleeper."
Jenna sank to the cave floor, ignoring everything Alex said, and began to clear rocks away to create a flat bed-space.
"Saturos, I forgot," Menardi said suddenly. "We don't have any extra bedrolls. We weren't anticipating having any more people along with us for some time."
Saturos grimaced. "That is a good point," he muttered. "I suppose that you and I could give ours up."
"No," Felix interrupted, "I'll let Jenna use mine. The earth is bed enough for me." Stretching out on the rough, rocky floor, he grinned. "I am a Venus Adept, after all."
"That still leaves Kraden," Saturos said. "I suppose he can have mine. I'll use the ground as a bed in the same way as Felix." He reached up to his shoulders, undoing two small clips that held his armor in place. It clattered to the ground, leaving Saturos in a dark red tunic. Menardi was wearing little armor, but what she had donned during the day now came off, leaving soft fabric underneath. She carefully twisted the handle of her scythe until it came apart easily, then stashed the two halves in her bag. Saturos had sheathed his sword and stowed it with his own supplies.
"Don't you even think about trying to use our weapons against us," Menardi warned the two Valeans. "Not only do you have no idea how to handle them, but they're specially crafted for the Northern Mars Clan. Any normal person who dares touch them will receive a nasty burn." At this, Felix visibly winced, remembering when he had attempted to use Saturos' blade in practice back in Prox. It had left him with a nasty blister that had taken almost two weeks to heal—during which time Saturos insisted that he continue training. Needless to say, it had not been a pleasant ordeal.
Jenna remained quiet, but Felix practically saw the questions forming in Kraden's eyes before they reached his lips.
"Specially crafted, you say?" he asked, speaking for only the second time since leaving Vale. "How is it so? Do they contain special jewels that amplify their psynergetic parallels with Mars? Could it be that the weapons themselves are charged with power and therefore only to be wielded by a certain race? Jenna is a Mars Adept, so why couldn't she wield them?"
As Kraden's questions continued, Saturos rolled his eyes and sighed loudly. Menardi shook her head, arching one eyebrow in Felix's direction. Felix himself simply shrugged. Old Man Kraden had always been like this. It was actually kind of nice to know that he hadn't changed.
"While this old man keeps babbling, I suggest that we get some sleep," Saturos said. "I'm sorry we couldn't eat tonight, but there was no time to buy food, much less to hunt or scavenge. Tomorrow we'll have plenty to eat." Out of his sack, he pulled two bedrolls: his and Menardi's. Felix got out his own bedroll, and Alex pulled a slightly slimmer roll from his much-less-equipped pack. Saturos tossed one bedroll to Menardi, who deftly caught it, but his throw to Kraden ended up hitting the elderly scholar in the gut and rendering him speechless.
Felix walked over to Jenna and held out his bedroll. "Here. You can use this to sleep in tonight," he said.
"I don't want anything from you!" Jenna snapped, glaring at him in the dim firelight. He saw rage and confusion stirring themselves together in the depths of her eyes. "You can keep your stupid bedroll! Just stop pretending to be my brother!"
"But I'm not pretending," he whispered.
"My brother," she said fiercely, "would have come back for me if he was still alive. You didn't come back. You're not him."
He drew back. "Is that why you won't believe?" he asked. "Because no one ever came for you?"
"I was alone!" she hissed. "You would never understand what it feels like to lose someone so dear to you, you imposter!"
Flashes of memory. Wanting to return to Vale. Mother and Father sick, Kyle unconscious. Worry and desperation. Picturing Jenna over three empty graves. Emptiness, sorrow, regret. Kiana. Self-loathing. Not knowing who Isaac and Garet had become until he heard their names. Disbelief, despair. The looks of betrayal on their faces. Guilt.
He dropped the bedroll on the ground, turned around, and walked away. Jenna glared after him. Back turned to her, he stretched out once more on the hard earth and pulled his cape over him in an attempt to stay warm. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine that none of what Jenna had said was real; that he had imagined the whole thing.
Alex cast Douse on the fire after Jenna and Kraden finally climbed into their bedrolls, and the party went to bed, Felix still closing his eyes in denial of all he had heard.
It's not true it's not true I'm really me it wasn't my fault I wanted to come back I felt alone too believe me believe me believe me . . .
Imposter fake pretending no proof acting he's dead you're not him I don't want anything from you . . .
He opened his eyes, expecting to hear silence greeting him. Saturos and Menardi were fast asleep, while Kraden was gently snoring, so he knew that some time had passed between closing his eyes and opening them again.
The sound that interrupted the sleeping, snore-punctuated quiet was one that Felix never would have expected to hear: sobbing. Soft crying came from the opposite wall of the cave, where he knew Jenna to be laying.
He blinked, clearing the little sleep he had gotten from his eyes, and quietly crawled over so he sat right behind her.
She was on her knees, her hands tightly crossed over her chest, as she sobbed into the empty night air of the cave. Her auburn hair was down, flowing freely around her back and over her shoulders. The bedroll she knelt on was crumpled; she had obviously gotten some sleep. She was shaking as she tried to keep her crying quiet, not wanting to wake anyone up.
Felix wrapped his arms around her and began to hum a soft melody in her ear. She stopped shaking and managed to twist in his arms so that she was looking up at him through a thick wall of tears.
"That song," she whispered. "Mother used to sing it before we went to sleep."
He continued humming; it had been so long that he could not remember the words to it anymore. So he kept the melody going, gently rocking Jenna back and forth in some hope of comforting her.
One of her trembling hands found its way to his face. "By the Gods," she whispered, "you're real. You're . . . you're Felix."
He tightened his embrace with her and whispered in her ear, "I haven't been able to hold you like this for three years, Jenna. Please forgive me if I'm embracing you too tight, but it feels like I can't let you go or you'll be alone again. I won't be with you anymore if I let go right now. So just . . . please."
Jenna rested her head on his shoulder. "But you never came back, so I thought—" she whispered.
"I didn't have a way of coming back," Felix replied. "It's very difficult to sail out of Prox, the northern city where Saturos and Menardi live. And they spoke of lighting the beacons, and explained to me why it had to be done."
Jenna suddenly pulled back. "Then tell me," she whispered. "Tell me why you're going to release Alchemy to wreak havoc on Weyard. Make me understand, Felix."
I can't, Felix thought. You'd never believe me; your mind is too tainted with the teachings of Vale. But I have to tell her something . . .
"They have our parents as hostages, Jenna," he said. "We have to light the beacons, if only for the safety of our parents." It was a horrible lie, one he knew he would regret later, but the teachings of Vale that had been so deeply rooted in her mind would surely taint any real reasons that he told her.
Fire lit in her eyes. "They what? Our parents are still alive?"
He nodded slightly, and let out a small grunt of displeasure when she threw herself into his chest. Her crying had restarted, and he had the uncomfortable sensation of Jenna blowing her nose into his shirt.
He winced. "Jenna, I have a handkerchief if you need it," he offered, though he knew the effort was too little, too late.
She leaned back and smiled weakly at him as he scrubbed at the spot with his cape. "Sorry."
"It's all right," Felix said. "Anyway, get some sleep now. We have a long journey ahead of us."
Jenna nodded and climbed back into the bedroll, wiping at her eyes with one hand. "Goodnight, Felix, and thank you," she said as she closed her eyes.
Felix, his heart warming once again, turned and retreated to his wall, where he curled into a ball and slept.
"Quite cute, aren't they?" a low masculine voice asked, punctuating the night quiet after a few minutes.
Menardi sat up and gazed down at Saturos, who grinned meekly at her. "And here I thought I was the only one eavesdropping," she scowled.
Saturos' grin widened. "After all this time hanging about with you, one would think I'd pick up on some of your habits."
She playfully smacked him on the chest. "Well, stop it! You're taking all my fun away!"
His grin faded. "I do wonder, though, why exactly Felix told her that their parents are 'hostages,' and not just living in Prox."
"I think I understand," Menardi said. "Think about it, Saturos. You know how long it took for the Valean adults to accept our ideas and reasons for doing what we did. Jenna's nearly an adult now as well. It would take her a while to understand what we're doing. Not to mention why."
Saturos sighed. "I suppose you're right." He rolled to one side, his red eyes troubled. "I wish it could happen that way for me," he muttered. "I wish Nephtal had come bounding out of the Sanctum, yelling 'I'm still alive, Saturos! Don't leave me behind, you dolt!' But . . ." His voice trailed into nothingness.
Menardi pressed a finger against his lips as she laid back down. "It wasn't your fault, Saturos. Would it have been any better if you were dead, and Nephtal was here mourning the fact that you didn't spring from the Sanctum walls?"
He pushed her finger away. "Sometimes I wonder," he said, and left it at that.
"Saturos, Saturos," Menardi sighed, "what am I ever going to do with you?"
Saturos did not reply, but rolled over to his other side so his back was facing Menardi. She sighed irritably before closing her eyes and falling asleep.
It wasn't until several minutes after she was deep in rest that Saturos replied.
"Thank you, Menardi."
They had not stopped by Vault on their way to their next destination. The mountains near Lunpa and Vault had a small pass in them shrouded by forest, but that was where the party was traveling now.
And Jenna was being very grumpy.
"Felix told me that you're holding our parents hostage," she said to Saturos.
"Well, Felix was right on one part of that. Your parents are in Prox," the man said, frowning slightly as he hacked and slashed through the growth.
"So you are holding them hostage?" she demanded.
"Funny that you trust Felix so much when last night you didn't even believe that he was your brother," Menardi said. "Are you feeling all right?"
"I'm feeling fine!" she declared. "I just want to know how you could be so heartless as to keep our parents hostage!"
"They're not hostages, girl," Saturos said. "They're being treated with the greatest respect and love by our people. But if you want to see them again, you'll come with us to light the beacons!"
Jenna grimaced and Menardi shot a look to Felix. Felix winced and shook his head slightly, then looked at the ground.
"Excuse me, but is this matter really worth arguing about?" Alex interrupted. "Your parents are alive, Jenna, isn't that enough for you? Should it matter if they are hostages or not, as long as they are alive?"
Jenna scowled and stuck her tongue out at him. Alex merely smiled in reply.
Several more hours passed before they managed to find a cave at the base of the Goma Mountains. They made their way up the cliffs near if and into the cave. Alex remained outside for a moment, gazing at a precariously-hanging ivy-wrapped tree trunk. It had seemingly been blown over in the storm from Mount Aleph, and now hung over the cave entrance like a dangerous pendulum.
Stepping forward a bit, Alex held out his hand and blasted the trunk with a spray of water. He hurried inside as the trunk crashed down onto the cliff, part of it breaking off and flowing downriver.
"What on Weyard was that bit of nonsense about?" Saturos asked.
Alex shrugged. "Well, Isaac and Garet will most likely follow us. That ought to slow them down a bit, at least."
Jenna's face brightened momentarily. "Do you think they did survive, then?"
"Perhaps," was Alex's enigmatic reply.
"One would hope so," Saturos said. "We wouldn't want anyone more to die in this venture."
"What? I don't understand," Jenna said. "What do you mean, you don't want anyone else to die?"
"We lost eighteen of our people at Sol Sanctum last time," Menardi said. "I told you this last night, but you wouldn't listen then. We don't want anyone to get killed by our mishaps."
"Well, what about Isaac's father?" Jenna demanded. "He died!"
There was no answer. Alex did smirk, and Felix stifled a laugh, but no words were spoken. Jenna looked around.
"What's so funny? I don't get it!" She stomped one foot and folded her arms.
It took about an hour to make their way through the cave. It was dark and very damp, and reeked of dust and mildew. A stream ran through the cavern, sourcing the river they had seen outside. When at last they found their way out of the darkness, they found a small town and a sunset awaiting them.
Saturos went into the town while the others waited, then returned.
"We've got ourselves a room," he said. "There are only four beds, but I'll happily use the floor and a bedroll."
"Same here," Felix said. "I don't mind that at all."
"Why don't you just make Alex sleep on the floor?" Jenna asked. "He hasn't done much work as of yet!"
Alex blinked, his aqua eyes large with disbelief. "I beg your pardon? What do you mean, I haven't done much work? You haven't been around to see whether I have or not!"
"Actually, Alex, she does have a point," Saturos said, grinning and pushing back his long bangs with one hand. "You can have Felix's spot on the floor tonight. I'll still take the other."
Alex's eyes narrowed now, and he adopted a sour expression as Jenna laughed at him. Felix himself barely resisted snickering, and Menardi was smirking.
"Rather feisty, aren't you?" he asked Jenna, tossing back his hair with one hand.
She grinned and stuck her tongue out at him, playfully instead of spitefully this time.
The travelers headed into the town, chatting and laughing like friends for the first time.