Chapter 22- Can Love Work?
Gilly opened her eyes. She was lying on a small bed in a dark room. Her face was stained with tears. She wondered how long she had been out. As she drifted into consciousness, she had heard the gentle closing of the one door in the room. She looked around and saw Sally standing by the door.
"How long have I been out?" Gilly asked.
"About twelve hours. We expected you to be out for twenty-four, but you're much stronger than you look."
"And what about..." She couldn't finish, the lump that was in her throat stopped her.
"...Duo?" Sally finished, "He has been by you this whole time."
"Why isn't he now?"
"He saw that you were waking, and left. He didn't say why, but he looked afraid, and hurt."
"Oh." Was all Gilly could say.
"How're you feeling?"
"Normal."
"Good. There's a suit for you, if you wish. I'll leave you be. I assume you can find your way around?"
"Sure."
Sally left Gilly alone in the room. Gilly got out of her bed and stood. When her feet hit the floor, she could no longer hold in the pain, or hold back the lump in her throat. With a burst of tears, her knees buckled, and Gilly fell to the floor. She cried for several minutes.
When Gilly finally gained control of her emotions, she wiped the tears from her eyes, stood up, and dressed. The suit was black and red. It was like the one Duo had been wearing earlier, but cut for a girl.
After Gilly had dressed, she sat on the bed and gathered her wits. She would fight with them, but she didn't know how she could face Duo again. With a heavy sigh, she concluded to go confide in Knightsaber.
Gilly walked down the hall, but she really had no idea where she was going. The halls were tight and soon, she found herself outside a door that seemed to tempting to just walk by it. She opened the door and walked cautiously in. There, by the controls, stood a man. He wore sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt. He was looking at a small device, turning it over in his hands.
"What have you got there?" Gilly asked as she came in, her hands behind her back and smiling.
"It's a jamming device of some sort." Howard said without taking his eyes off of it.
"Really?" Gilly sauntered over to him.
"I got it off..." Howard turned and saw Gilly, hands on her knees, looking over his shoulder at the device.
Gilly looked up at him as he back away. She gave him a gentle smile.
"And who might you be, young lady?"
"Me?" Gilly stood up straight.
"You're the only young lady I see."
"Forgive me, my name is Gilly Hathaway." It felt good to say her own name.
"Gilly? The pilot of that fine piece of machinery in the hanger?"
"Knightsaber. That would be me. And you are...?"
"Howard. And I believe this device is yours to do with what you please." He handed it to Gilly and she eyed it carefully as if it were going to reach up and kill her in some awful way.
She felt her anger burning inside her. Anger at everything caused by the whole plot. She hated Trieze for doing it to her. For five minutes, she did nothing but stare angrily at the palm-sized jamming device in her right hand, letting her anger build. She held it and thought of every reason for her to do the same thing to Trieze. She thought of Tak, Sumire, Duo, Hilde, and herself, all the people who were hurt in some way or another. She pictured Trieze's face on the device. With one movement, she crushed it. The shards of the broken device dug into her hand, but the big pieces fell to the floor. She clenched her fist tighter and the shards dug deeper into her flesh. The blood trickled down and out of her fist, sliding down her arm and off her elbow, dripping to the floor
Not one tremor went through her body. She didn't flinch, but Howard had to rush over to her and unclench her fist.
"Gilly, don't do that!" Howard found himself yelling at the girl in a trance.
"I'm sorry, did you want to use the parts?" Gilly asked sincerely.
"No. Gilly, don't hurt yourself!" He pulled a cloth from his pocket and blotted at Gilly's palm, "Whatever you do, you must not cause yourself pain."
"Why? I deserve it."
"Judging by the concern in your voice when you thought you'd wronged me, I'd say that a kind person such as yourself would never in a thousand years deserve that."
"With the pain I've caused the people I care about, why wouldn't I deserve these wounds? The pain I've caused Duo?"
"You know, you've changed Duo."
"Yeah, ripped him to pieces."
"That's not what I meant."
"Than what?" "Duo, has been different ever since he met you. When you're brought up in a conversation his personality changes, but after a while he goes back to being the God of Death. I asked him why is that, do you want to know what his response was?"
"What?"
"He said, 'He's never felt this way around anyone else before. When you look at him it makes him want to be a better person.' He thinks very fondly of you and that he loves you, and if getting you to love him in return means losing a bit of the old Duo, he's just fine with that."
"He said that?" Gilly gulped.
"Almost his exact words."
"I guess we need to talk than."
"Good idea."
"I'll see you around, Howard. Thank you so much for the words of wisdom."
"See you, Gilly."
Gilly hurried out the door. She figured she remembered the way to the hanger, but on the way, she ran into a dark form.
"I'm sorry." Gilly smiled as she backed up a little. "Apology unaccepted."
"What?!"
"You heard me."
"But, why?" Gilly was completely surprised by Hilde's attitude.
"You want to know why?"
Gilly nodded.
"You stole from me the only guy I have ever cared for."
"Obviously you have no clue." Came Gilly's response, harsh and cold.
"About what?" She snipped.
"You hate me, but you have no right!"
"I have every right!"
Gilly slammed her hand against Hilde's should and pressed her to the wall.
"Right to what? You think you love him? I have news for you. I love Duo more than life itself, and he's the only one who could, and did, pull me back from the brink of death!"
Gilly gave her another push into the wall and stormed away. She couldn't believe the hatred Hilde seemed to aim at her. It was a painful hatred, but what right did she have to say those things to her. Why did she hate Gilly so? And could she ever forgive Duo, even if he did love her?
* * * * *
In her gloom, Gilly sat down cross-legged in the center of Knightsaber's palm. Its giant arm was out and bent at the elbow. The palm up so that Gilly could sit in her friend's hands. There was a beam of light that seemed to put a spotlight on her, and that was one of the last things she needed. She lay back and closed her eyes. The rest of the crew on Peacemillion was either half asleep or all the way.
The sound of one of the human lefts rang out in the dark hanger. Gilly heard it, but she didn't move, she already knew who it was. She still faced Knightsaber's huge body as he came up behind her. He placed his hands on Gilly's shoulders. He began to rub the back of her neck.
Gilly felt his hands on her neck and she flipped. Literally, she flipped over and had Duo on his back. He had his hands up, as if in the air, and Gilly was on top of him. She gave him an odd look.
"Don't do that!" She gasped.
"Do what?" Duo gasped in return.
"Sorry," Gilly breathed, "I hate it when people touch my neck."
"Sorry..." Duo began.
"Don't even think of apologizing about something as trivial as that." Gilly backed off and sat next to Duo, but he still lay down.
"Okay, but I am sorry we didn't talk right away."
"No problem." Gilly sighed as she returned to sitting cross-legged.
"Did the box help any?" Duo looked at Gilly every time he spoke.
"Once I had my memory and Knightsaber back, yeah."
"Are you wearing the ring?"
"No, it's in my pocket, though."
"So it helped?"
"A little."
"What else could have been done?"
"More like, what should have been done..."
"Why Duo? Why?" Gilly blurted out as she put her hands over her eyes.
Duo sat up in shock. His arm immediately went around her. She had buried her face in her knees.
"She hates me, but I can't bring myself to hate her, even though she..."
"Gilly..."
"Duo, why? Why does she hate me? Because I love you?"
"No." Came Duo's words of assurance, "She hates you because I love you."
"Me?" Gilly looked into his eyes, "Why would you say that?"
"Because it's true, I do love you. All this time that you've been gone, I've wanted to tell you so badly. The separation has only made me come to love you even more."
"Duo, I feel so awful. I doubted you," She paused, "I betrayed you."
The way Duo looked into her eyes told her that he knew about Takara; "You can't be held accountable for your actions, there was nothing you could do." He shook her shoulders gently.
"No, there was no excuse for what I did. I wasted something precious on someone evil."
"You were confused."
"Yeah, and in being so stupid, I created another version of you..."
"Until you could find me, a temporary solution for a heart that had been in love," He frowned, "and a mind that had been messed with."
"There's more. I dreamt about you every night. In my subconscious, I knew you existed."
"That's why you flipped, you had a brief memory surge, and than forgot why you were seeking comfort. You went to the only comfort you knew."
"Duo, I do love you, and that's why I feel bad. I was unable to share with you something I felt was ver special."
Duo lay back again; "And that would be?"
Gilly moved her right index finger in a clockwise motion on her lips; "My first kiss," She whispered gently as she halfway leaned over Duo; "stolen from me, by myself."
"If it helps any, the kiss Hilde gave me was my first, as well."
"It doesn't help. It only makes matters worse. She stole something from you, did you feel it to be something special?"
"Yes. But, I don't think it was as special to me as it was to you."
"Duo, is it true that I've changed you?"
"Who told you that?"
"Howard."
"Yes, he talked to me about that, too."
"Do you like the change?"
"I hadn't even realized it myself until he pointed it out. It's okay, I guess."
Gilly fully leaned over him; "Look Duo, I don't want you to be any different than the true Duo. I couldn't think of you the same if you weren't yourself. I want you to love me as Duo Maxwell."
"With pleasure. You know, even if you didn't love me, even if you thought poorly of me, I could be happy knowing that I loved you, and that you were happy."
"Thank you, Duo." She lowered herself closer, "Duo, do you want to know of a way to make me happy?"
"I'd like that very much." He pulled her closer.
Gilly now let Duo support her weight. Her stomach was now on his and his chest moved steadily and unhindered under hers.
"You could give me my first real kiss." She whispered it into his ear, than moved her head back so her face was only an inch from his.
"As you wish."
Duo pulled Gilly the last inch and the two's lips met. Gilly had remembered the kiss that she and Tak had shared, but this was nothing like that. This was a true kiss. At first it was just there lips, but Duo's tongue touched her lips. He urged her with a squeeze, and found herself opening her mouth, letting his tongue slide into her mouth and gliding along the back of her top row of front teeth. She moved her tongue into his mouth and did as he did, all the time continuing to stay as close to him as possible.
The two slowly pulled away after several minutes.
"I liked that." Gilly spoke very softly.
"I think I liked it more than you. Do that again."
The kissed again, repeating the dance of their tongues over and over, each time becoming more intense, more passionate. There was no reason to stop. They shared each other's warmth in the cold of space. They had finally found their moment and weren't about to let it go. As the two kissed, the need for each other became greater with each second of touch. Duo's hands found their way to Gilly's hips so he could pull her closer to him. Gilly's insistence brought her left hand to the small of Duo's back so she could hold him close, and her right hand to the back of his head pressing him to her.
From below, an angry pair of eyes watched the two. She couldn't really see them, but she knew what was happening. The tears welled up in her eyes. She gave a little noise from the back of her throat. She than ran silently and swiftly away, not looking back, only building her anger.
"Say that phrase again, Duo." Gilly whispered into his mouth.
"I love you." He replied, the same way.
"I love you, too."
Gilly felt Duo's hand reach into the pocket with the ring. He pulled it out and looked it over. Gilly watched as he pulled her left hand up to his chest and slipped the ring on. It was a symbol of their love. Her father had given it to her mother and then to Gilly. Now, Duo gave it to her, in a way. Not that it was from him, but as a symbol. The ring glinted in the little light. Gilly gave a small smile, than she and Duo continued.
Gilly opened her eyes. She was lying on a small bed in a dark room. Her face was stained with tears. She wondered how long she had been out. As she drifted into consciousness, she had heard the gentle closing of the one door in the room. She looked around and saw Sally standing by the door.
"How long have I been out?" Gilly asked.
"About twelve hours. We expected you to be out for twenty-four, but you're much stronger than you look."
"And what about..." She couldn't finish, the lump that was in her throat stopped her.
"...Duo?" Sally finished, "He has been by you this whole time."
"Why isn't he now?"
"He saw that you were waking, and left. He didn't say why, but he looked afraid, and hurt."
"Oh." Was all Gilly could say.
"How're you feeling?"
"Normal."
"Good. There's a suit for you, if you wish. I'll leave you be. I assume you can find your way around?"
"Sure."
Sally left Gilly alone in the room. Gilly got out of her bed and stood. When her feet hit the floor, she could no longer hold in the pain, or hold back the lump in her throat. With a burst of tears, her knees buckled, and Gilly fell to the floor. She cried for several minutes.
When Gilly finally gained control of her emotions, she wiped the tears from her eyes, stood up, and dressed. The suit was black and red. It was like the one Duo had been wearing earlier, but cut for a girl.
After Gilly had dressed, she sat on the bed and gathered her wits. She would fight with them, but she didn't know how she could face Duo again. With a heavy sigh, she concluded to go confide in Knightsaber.
Gilly walked down the hall, but she really had no idea where she was going. The halls were tight and soon, she found herself outside a door that seemed to tempting to just walk by it. She opened the door and walked cautiously in. There, by the controls, stood a man. He wore sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt. He was looking at a small device, turning it over in his hands.
"What have you got there?" Gilly asked as she came in, her hands behind her back and smiling.
"It's a jamming device of some sort." Howard said without taking his eyes off of it.
"Really?" Gilly sauntered over to him.
"I got it off..." Howard turned and saw Gilly, hands on her knees, looking over his shoulder at the device.
Gilly looked up at him as he back away. She gave him a gentle smile.
"And who might you be, young lady?"
"Me?" Gilly stood up straight.
"You're the only young lady I see."
"Forgive me, my name is Gilly Hathaway." It felt good to say her own name.
"Gilly? The pilot of that fine piece of machinery in the hanger?"
"Knightsaber. That would be me. And you are...?"
"Howard. And I believe this device is yours to do with what you please." He handed it to Gilly and she eyed it carefully as if it were going to reach up and kill her in some awful way.
She felt her anger burning inside her. Anger at everything caused by the whole plot. She hated Trieze for doing it to her. For five minutes, she did nothing but stare angrily at the palm-sized jamming device in her right hand, letting her anger build. She held it and thought of every reason for her to do the same thing to Trieze. She thought of Tak, Sumire, Duo, Hilde, and herself, all the people who were hurt in some way or another. She pictured Trieze's face on the device. With one movement, she crushed it. The shards of the broken device dug into her hand, but the big pieces fell to the floor. She clenched her fist tighter and the shards dug deeper into her flesh. The blood trickled down and out of her fist, sliding down her arm and off her elbow, dripping to the floor
Not one tremor went through her body. She didn't flinch, but Howard had to rush over to her and unclench her fist.
"Gilly, don't do that!" Howard found himself yelling at the girl in a trance.
"I'm sorry, did you want to use the parts?" Gilly asked sincerely.
"No. Gilly, don't hurt yourself!" He pulled a cloth from his pocket and blotted at Gilly's palm, "Whatever you do, you must not cause yourself pain."
"Why? I deserve it."
"Judging by the concern in your voice when you thought you'd wronged me, I'd say that a kind person such as yourself would never in a thousand years deserve that."
"With the pain I've caused the people I care about, why wouldn't I deserve these wounds? The pain I've caused Duo?"
"You know, you've changed Duo."
"Yeah, ripped him to pieces."
"That's not what I meant."
"Than what?" "Duo, has been different ever since he met you. When you're brought up in a conversation his personality changes, but after a while he goes back to being the God of Death. I asked him why is that, do you want to know what his response was?"
"What?"
"He said, 'He's never felt this way around anyone else before. When you look at him it makes him want to be a better person.' He thinks very fondly of you and that he loves you, and if getting you to love him in return means losing a bit of the old Duo, he's just fine with that."
"He said that?" Gilly gulped.
"Almost his exact words."
"I guess we need to talk than."
"Good idea."
"I'll see you around, Howard. Thank you so much for the words of wisdom."
"See you, Gilly."
Gilly hurried out the door. She figured she remembered the way to the hanger, but on the way, she ran into a dark form.
"I'm sorry." Gilly smiled as she backed up a little. "Apology unaccepted."
"What?!"
"You heard me."
"But, why?" Gilly was completely surprised by Hilde's attitude.
"You want to know why?"
Gilly nodded.
"You stole from me the only guy I have ever cared for."
"Obviously you have no clue." Came Gilly's response, harsh and cold.
"About what?" She snipped.
"You hate me, but you have no right!"
"I have every right!"
Gilly slammed her hand against Hilde's should and pressed her to the wall.
"Right to what? You think you love him? I have news for you. I love Duo more than life itself, and he's the only one who could, and did, pull me back from the brink of death!"
Gilly gave her another push into the wall and stormed away. She couldn't believe the hatred Hilde seemed to aim at her. It was a painful hatred, but what right did she have to say those things to her. Why did she hate Gilly so? And could she ever forgive Duo, even if he did love her?
* * * * *
In her gloom, Gilly sat down cross-legged in the center of Knightsaber's palm. Its giant arm was out and bent at the elbow. The palm up so that Gilly could sit in her friend's hands. There was a beam of light that seemed to put a spotlight on her, and that was one of the last things she needed. She lay back and closed her eyes. The rest of the crew on Peacemillion was either half asleep or all the way.
The sound of one of the human lefts rang out in the dark hanger. Gilly heard it, but she didn't move, she already knew who it was. She still faced Knightsaber's huge body as he came up behind her. He placed his hands on Gilly's shoulders. He began to rub the back of her neck.
Gilly felt his hands on her neck and she flipped. Literally, she flipped over and had Duo on his back. He had his hands up, as if in the air, and Gilly was on top of him. She gave him an odd look.
"Don't do that!" She gasped.
"Do what?" Duo gasped in return.
"Sorry," Gilly breathed, "I hate it when people touch my neck."
"Sorry..." Duo began.
"Don't even think of apologizing about something as trivial as that." Gilly backed off and sat next to Duo, but he still lay down.
"Okay, but I am sorry we didn't talk right away."
"No problem." Gilly sighed as she returned to sitting cross-legged.
"Did the box help any?" Duo looked at Gilly every time he spoke.
"Once I had my memory and Knightsaber back, yeah."
"Are you wearing the ring?"
"No, it's in my pocket, though."
"So it helped?"
"A little."
"What else could have been done?"
"More like, what should have been done..."
"Why Duo? Why?" Gilly blurted out as she put her hands over her eyes.
Duo sat up in shock. His arm immediately went around her. She had buried her face in her knees.
"She hates me, but I can't bring myself to hate her, even though she..."
"Gilly..."
"Duo, why? Why does she hate me? Because I love you?"
"No." Came Duo's words of assurance, "She hates you because I love you."
"Me?" Gilly looked into his eyes, "Why would you say that?"
"Because it's true, I do love you. All this time that you've been gone, I've wanted to tell you so badly. The separation has only made me come to love you even more."
"Duo, I feel so awful. I doubted you," She paused, "I betrayed you."
The way Duo looked into her eyes told her that he knew about Takara; "You can't be held accountable for your actions, there was nothing you could do." He shook her shoulders gently.
"No, there was no excuse for what I did. I wasted something precious on someone evil."
"You were confused."
"Yeah, and in being so stupid, I created another version of you..."
"Until you could find me, a temporary solution for a heart that had been in love," He frowned, "and a mind that had been messed with."
"There's more. I dreamt about you every night. In my subconscious, I knew you existed."
"That's why you flipped, you had a brief memory surge, and than forgot why you were seeking comfort. You went to the only comfort you knew."
"Duo, I do love you, and that's why I feel bad. I was unable to share with you something I felt was ver special."
Duo lay back again; "And that would be?"
Gilly moved her right index finger in a clockwise motion on her lips; "My first kiss," She whispered gently as she halfway leaned over Duo; "stolen from me, by myself."
"If it helps any, the kiss Hilde gave me was my first, as well."
"It doesn't help. It only makes matters worse. She stole something from you, did you feel it to be something special?"
"Yes. But, I don't think it was as special to me as it was to you."
"Duo, is it true that I've changed you?"
"Who told you that?"
"Howard."
"Yes, he talked to me about that, too."
"Do you like the change?"
"I hadn't even realized it myself until he pointed it out. It's okay, I guess."
Gilly fully leaned over him; "Look Duo, I don't want you to be any different than the true Duo. I couldn't think of you the same if you weren't yourself. I want you to love me as Duo Maxwell."
"With pleasure. You know, even if you didn't love me, even if you thought poorly of me, I could be happy knowing that I loved you, and that you were happy."
"Thank you, Duo." She lowered herself closer, "Duo, do you want to know of a way to make me happy?"
"I'd like that very much." He pulled her closer.
Gilly now let Duo support her weight. Her stomach was now on his and his chest moved steadily and unhindered under hers.
"You could give me my first real kiss." She whispered it into his ear, than moved her head back so her face was only an inch from his.
"As you wish."
Duo pulled Gilly the last inch and the two's lips met. Gilly had remembered the kiss that she and Tak had shared, but this was nothing like that. This was a true kiss. At first it was just there lips, but Duo's tongue touched her lips. He urged her with a squeeze, and found herself opening her mouth, letting his tongue slide into her mouth and gliding along the back of her top row of front teeth. She moved her tongue into his mouth and did as he did, all the time continuing to stay as close to him as possible.
The two slowly pulled away after several minutes.
"I liked that." Gilly spoke very softly.
"I think I liked it more than you. Do that again."
The kissed again, repeating the dance of their tongues over and over, each time becoming more intense, more passionate. There was no reason to stop. They shared each other's warmth in the cold of space. They had finally found their moment and weren't about to let it go. As the two kissed, the need for each other became greater with each second of touch. Duo's hands found their way to Gilly's hips so he could pull her closer to him. Gilly's insistence brought her left hand to the small of Duo's back so she could hold him close, and her right hand to the back of his head pressing him to her.
From below, an angry pair of eyes watched the two. She couldn't really see them, but she knew what was happening. The tears welled up in her eyes. She gave a little noise from the back of her throat. She than ran silently and swiftly away, not looking back, only building her anger.
"Say that phrase again, Duo." Gilly whispered into his mouth.
"I love you." He replied, the same way.
"I love you, too."
Gilly felt Duo's hand reach into the pocket with the ring. He pulled it out and looked it over. Gilly watched as he pulled her left hand up to his chest and slipped the ring on. It was a symbol of their love. Her father had given it to her mother and then to Gilly. Now, Duo gave it to her, in a way. Not that it was from him, but as a symbol. The ring glinted in the little light. Gilly gave a small smile, than she and Duo continued.