"Are you almost ready?" asked Roxie anxiously. "Coming,
mother." Reeny replied quickly as she desperately searched her small,
cluttered bedroom up and down for her left tap shoe. Finally finding it
under her bed, behind a stack of Redbooks and McCall's, she tossed it into
her dance bag with a sigh of relief. As she hurried to grab her jazz shoes,
a foot rap, and some nylons, her mother yelled, "We're going to be LATE,
Reeny!" "I'm coming, I'm coming, for Christ's sake!" Reeny retorted in an
annoyed tone as she met her mother at the front door of their apartment
with her equipment bag. "Hey! Where do you get off talking to your mother
like that? You're only 13 years old!" Facing her mother eye to eye and nose
to nose who was only about an inch taller than her at this point, the
spunky little blonde replied, "Well the way things are nowadays, Mama, none
of us may get that much older, so I'm living my life now." Roxie was taken
aback by this remark. Partially impressed with her daughter's spirit, and
partially disheartened by the darkness of the comment, she remembered the
days she enjoyed as a young women, what she used to call "nowadays" and the
heaven that had become a hell, it seemed, so long ago.
We all just expected everything to get better and better. We couldn't have been more wrong, Roxie thought. Suffering and starving through 10 straight years of the Depression and now the beginning of another infernal war, you'd think that would be enough to make anyone despise living. But thinking back, Roxie couldn't even remember one time in her life when she was truly happy...apart from the day her daughter was born.
Growing up along the Mississippi Delta on a farm wasn't easy. Money was tight, food was scarce, life was rough. In 1920, when she was only 15, Roxanne Kolina Olsson left home and hitchhiked all the way to Chicago, never once looking back. She told herself she wanted to better herself and get a good education. But she knew it was more than that. She wanted a real life, complete with exuberance, happiness, and the one thing she desired most but lacked entirely...LOVE! When she arrived in Chicago, she was more amazed than ever before. She couldn't believe she was in the same country as the one she grew up in. The only world she had ever known was a small drafty cottage, chickens, cows, cotton, and two parents that didn't seem to know she existed. And now that the war was over, people were living their lives to the fullest. Everywhere she looked, there seemed to be something new and exciting going on. The more she saw, the more she liked. Big buildings, expensive cars, elegant clothing, wild parties, liquor, cabarets, and JAZZ! Whatever this new JAZZ music was, she was grateful for its creation. It picked her up when she was down, which was quite often, and made her move even when she didn't feel like it. Like an addiction, it became the center of her world and manifested into her soul. Back home something this good would have been considered immoral. But despite her phenomenal discoveries, soon Roxie found herself alone once again and without a permanent residence. Even her beloved jazz couldn't compensate for her growing longing for a sincere romance and a stable home.
As time went on and her loneliness increased, Roxie discovered that many men would give her the time of day, if she would do the same for them. It wasn't one of her favorite things to do, and it didn't exactly enhance her self-dignity, but it became a necessary evil. Spending time with her gentlemen friends allowed for her a warm bed at night and a few fleeting moments of feeling desired.
To pass the time, and to dismiss the constant acrimony of her life from her thoughts, Roxie became even more obsessed with jazz, dance, and the thought of becoming famous and ultimately being able to leave her life of repugnance in the dust. So infatuated with becoming a star and the idea of everyone loving her, Roxie stopped caring about anything else. Every waking moment, she focused on making herself known. For if she achieved stardom, not only would people love her, she would gain worldwide adoration!
When she met her future husband, Amos Hart, she felt a certain safety and comfort with him that she had never felt with anyone else before. She knew he was a good man, and that he would take care of her and stick with her no matter what. Still, if this was what love felt like, it wasn't at all what it was cracked up to be. So at 16, Roxie and her 23-year- old boyfriend took off to West VA where it was legal to marry at 16, and eloped.
Roxie's mind skipped to 7 years later, when she had long been Mrs. Hart, to right before...the incident. Getting married at 16 indeed had been a mistake for her. In fact, she honestly didn't even know the man she had married. And almost 7 years of confinement in a marriage that she never truly wanted to be a part of, took its toll on her. Though it sounded mean, Amos was just not her type. She knew he meant well, but they shared no similarities and the differences between them only grew over time. In all honesty, there wasn't even anything going on in the bedroom that kept up Roxie's interests. And all the time she spent puttering around the house, cleaning, washing, attempting to cook, she still clutched onto the dream that someday she was going to make it in show biz. Someday she would be a star! Looking back, Roxie realized, that it was her dream that had been the one thing that allowed her to keep what was left of her lingering sanity.
"Hmph." Roxie laughed to herself. She thought about the first time she met Fred Casely. It had been the fall of '26. In an ironic twist it was Amos who had initiated her and Casely's affair, so to speak. It was the middle of November and Amos had brought Roxie down to Fred's furniture store so that they could pick out a new couch and loveseat before the holidays. Amos felt that this was a charitable action and made a great early Christmas present for Roxie...unfortunately for him, more than he knew. When the couple walked into the store that day, Roxie noticed a sly smile creep upon the face of a rather attractive, tall, dark-haired, man who began loosening his tie as he made his way toward them. "Can I help you good people with anything today?" asked the gentleman who introduced himself as Fred Casely. "Oh we're just looking. But thank you sir." Replied Amos inattentively. Roxie didn't say anything to him, but just looked up into his big brown eyes admiring his cool and collected exposition. Giving her the good once over he smirked and seemed to like what he saw. Thinking fast, he announced, "Oh by the way folks, everything in here is 10% off today." "Oh wow, really?" asked Amos. "I didn't notice any signs in the windows or anything." "Well, call me a softy, but when I see a young, honest, hard- working couple like yourselves come in here, its hard for me to not wanna give 'em a brake." He winked at Roxie. Man, the old boy could really lay it on thick when he wanted to. Offering to help her pick out a new couch, Fred led Roxie to the other part of the store as Amos stayed behind to try out some recliners.
"So honey," Fred started as they continued walking, "What's a nice dame like you doing with a crumb-bum like that?" "He's my husband.." answered Roxie slowly. Fred rolled his eyes. "Well I managed to grasp that much." Looking down she went on, "He's OK. Anyway, as soon as I get my big brake, I won't need him. I'll be famous and everybody'll love me!" "Big break?" Fred repeated, amused. "Yeah. I'm gonna have my own act, ya know, Vaudeville or something. But I'm thinking of starting small in a cabaret or club maybe." Fred didn't know whether her statement was more pathetic or hilarious. He looked her over again. Short, skinny, not hard on the eyes at all, but definitely not the dancer type. Still, he had to admire the determination in the young flapper. Suddenly an idea popped into his usually one-track mind. "Roxie, you really serious about trying to get your own act?" Roxie's eyes widened. "Oh yeah more than anything!" "Well, I have this friend, see.." Fred stuttered a little as he spoke. "He's a manager of this club called The Onyx, maybe you heard of it. Anyway, he looks for girls that he thinks have the right stuff to make it on the big time. Maybe some night if you'd like to accompany me down there, I could introduce you to him and you could show me, uh--him, he slurred, what you got." "Jesus Freddy, that'd be great!" She laughed excitedly jumping up and down. She paused for a moment. "Wait a sec, you ain't just feeding lines are ya?" "No of course not! I've got real connections, and you, I can see," He went on in a softer more enticing manner. "have some real unmentionable talents, huh?" Roxie blushed, delighting in the newfound attention she was receiving. "Don't worry, babe." Fred said as he noticed Roxie staring down at the floor beginning to feel the situation grow awkward. "Our little outing will stay purely platonic." She eyed him curiously as if to ask him what that meant. "I mean we'll stay just friends." But both of them knew damn well that he had other intentions. "Oh it's alright," she said in a seductive tone placing her hands on the front of his pants. "I was just thinking about what I'm gonna wear for your friend, and what I'm gonna be taking off for you." The wickedest of smiles formed on Fred's face.
The night Fred took Roxie to The Onyx for the first time was, on the whole, pretty amusing. She couldn't believe it. He did have connections! He must have. Dressed to the nines, like always, and talking to every beau brummel in the club, Roxie for once felt like she was gonna go places. She saw him whispering to a trombone player pointing her out, a shifty grin on his face. Wow. He's telling some one about me, she thought. Seeing that the man was just a trombone player, she figured he must have been some other middleman that knew the big guy on top. He'll tell him about me, she told herself, and soon her thoughts went back to enjoying herself. When she turned her eyes to the stage, her heart skipped a beat. Oh My God, its Velma and Ver--, she noticed the absence of the other half of the notorious "Kelly Sisters" act. Wonder where Veronica is?, she thought. Still, she couldn't tear her eyes from the stage. This woman was her idol. Everything she ever lived to be. She was so beautiful, talented, and versatile in her abilities...Everyone loves her, thought Roxie. Oh how she longed to be up there with her, doing what she wanted to do more than anything else. She closed her eyes and imagined everyone cheering and clapping for her, as she sang and danced her heart out. Her fantasy was abruptly cut short when she heard Fred say, "Let's go, babe." Already?! She thought. "But I didn't even meet your friend, that manager guy.." "Don't worry, Roxie. Its all taken care of." He assured her. "You told him about me?" she asked. "Yeah kid, its all arranged." With those words her heart jumped. Fred then grabbed her ass beckoning her to follow him to the exit. She knew what would happen once they arrived at her apartment. Fooling around with Fred and cheating on Amos to achieve her notoriety wasn't what she had intended on doing. But now that she was going to have her own act, she didn't care about anything else.
To Roxie, the rest was a blur. The month of skulking around Chicago, the meaningless affairs, the lies, the leaving, the shooting...It all happened so fast. It was odd to her now, thinking about how little remorse she felt that she had killed him. The only thing that she felt compunction for was that she had taken the life of a father of 5 little children, son-of-a-bitch though he was, not ever mentioning his wife and kids. It stung in her heart to think of what those kids must have done without their bread-winning father. She thought of the hardships that she had had to go through just raising her one child without a father, not to mention the emptiness both she and her daughter felt. Roxie missing him...Reeny not knowing him.
Suddenly, Roxie felt a poke in her back. "Mama, are you just gonna stand there and stare at the wall all day? I thought we were gonna be late!", shouted Reeny. Roxie not realizing how long she had stood there in the hall of their apartment building stuck in a flashback, immediately came back to earth. "Oh my God, I'm sorry hon. I lost track of time!" replied Roxie to her bewildered daughter. "Doing what?" asked Reeny. "Just thinking." Reeny could always tell when her mother had something important and usually somber on her mind. She would always seem to go into a blank daze until somebody had to jolt her out of it. She knew her mother had been through a lot in her life, and she wasn't perfect, or any where near it, but she knew how much her mother loved her, and it killed her to see her go through so much continuous pain. "What were you thinking about?" asked Reeny compassionately. "I was just thinking about how beautiful, talented and clever my little girl is, and where the heck it came from." Reeny smiled tenderly and stared into her mother's eyes. "You tell me." Reeny meant more than one thing when she said that, and her mother knew it. Quickly she turned from her daughter and rubbed tears from her eyes. She couldn't let her daughter see her cry. Not now. Today was too important. Trying to brush all the nagging wintry thoughts from her mind, she focused on her daughter's show. "Let's go, we don't have much time." Said Roxie. "Don't worry mom we'll make it." Reeny replied looking at her mother adoringly. More quietly she added, "We always do." With that the mother and daughter team stepped onto 15th avenue and walked in silence to the competition.
We all just expected everything to get better and better. We couldn't have been more wrong, Roxie thought. Suffering and starving through 10 straight years of the Depression and now the beginning of another infernal war, you'd think that would be enough to make anyone despise living. But thinking back, Roxie couldn't even remember one time in her life when she was truly happy...apart from the day her daughter was born.
Growing up along the Mississippi Delta on a farm wasn't easy. Money was tight, food was scarce, life was rough. In 1920, when she was only 15, Roxanne Kolina Olsson left home and hitchhiked all the way to Chicago, never once looking back. She told herself she wanted to better herself and get a good education. But she knew it was more than that. She wanted a real life, complete with exuberance, happiness, and the one thing she desired most but lacked entirely...LOVE! When she arrived in Chicago, she was more amazed than ever before. She couldn't believe she was in the same country as the one she grew up in. The only world she had ever known was a small drafty cottage, chickens, cows, cotton, and two parents that didn't seem to know she existed. And now that the war was over, people were living their lives to the fullest. Everywhere she looked, there seemed to be something new and exciting going on. The more she saw, the more she liked. Big buildings, expensive cars, elegant clothing, wild parties, liquor, cabarets, and JAZZ! Whatever this new JAZZ music was, she was grateful for its creation. It picked her up when she was down, which was quite often, and made her move even when she didn't feel like it. Like an addiction, it became the center of her world and manifested into her soul. Back home something this good would have been considered immoral. But despite her phenomenal discoveries, soon Roxie found herself alone once again and without a permanent residence. Even her beloved jazz couldn't compensate for her growing longing for a sincere romance and a stable home.
As time went on and her loneliness increased, Roxie discovered that many men would give her the time of day, if she would do the same for them. It wasn't one of her favorite things to do, and it didn't exactly enhance her self-dignity, but it became a necessary evil. Spending time with her gentlemen friends allowed for her a warm bed at night and a few fleeting moments of feeling desired.
To pass the time, and to dismiss the constant acrimony of her life from her thoughts, Roxie became even more obsessed with jazz, dance, and the thought of becoming famous and ultimately being able to leave her life of repugnance in the dust. So infatuated with becoming a star and the idea of everyone loving her, Roxie stopped caring about anything else. Every waking moment, she focused on making herself known. For if she achieved stardom, not only would people love her, she would gain worldwide adoration!
When she met her future husband, Amos Hart, she felt a certain safety and comfort with him that she had never felt with anyone else before. She knew he was a good man, and that he would take care of her and stick with her no matter what. Still, if this was what love felt like, it wasn't at all what it was cracked up to be. So at 16, Roxie and her 23-year- old boyfriend took off to West VA where it was legal to marry at 16, and eloped.
Roxie's mind skipped to 7 years later, when she had long been Mrs. Hart, to right before...the incident. Getting married at 16 indeed had been a mistake for her. In fact, she honestly didn't even know the man she had married. And almost 7 years of confinement in a marriage that she never truly wanted to be a part of, took its toll on her. Though it sounded mean, Amos was just not her type. She knew he meant well, but they shared no similarities and the differences between them only grew over time. In all honesty, there wasn't even anything going on in the bedroom that kept up Roxie's interests. And all the time she spent puttering around the house, cleaning, washing, attempting to cook, she still clutched onto the dream that someday she was going to make it in show biz. Someday she would be a star! Looking back, Roxie realized, that it was her dream that had been the one thing that allowed her to keep what was left of her lingering sanity.
"Hmph." Roxie laughed to herself. She thought about the first time she met Fred Casely. It had been the fall of '26. In an ironic twist it was Amos who had initiated her and Casely's affair, so to speak. It was the middle of November and Amos had brought Roxie down to Fred's furniture store so that they could pick out a new couch and loveseat before the holidays. Amos felt that this was a charitable action and made a great early Christmas present for Roxie...unfortunately for him, more than he knew. When the couple walked into the store that day, Roxie noticed a sly smile creep upon the face of a rather attractive, tall, dark-haired, man who began loosening his tie as he made his way toward them. "Can I help you good people with anything today?" asked the gentleman who introduced himself as Fred Casely. "Oh we're just looking. But thank you sir." Replied Amos inattentively. Roxie didn't say anything to him, but just looked up into his big brown eyes admiring his cool and collected exposition. Giving her the good once over he smirked and seemed to like what he saw. Thinking fast, he announced, "Oh by the way folks, everything in here is 10% off today." "Oh wow, really?" asked Amos. "I didn't notice any signs in the windows or anything." "Well, call me a softy, but when I see a young, honest, hard- working couple like yourselves come in here, its hard for me to not wanna give 'em a brake." He winked at Roxie. Man, the old boy could really lay it on thick when he wanted to. Offering to help her pick out a new couch, Fred led Roxie to the other part of the store as Amos stayed behind to try out some recliners.
"So honey," Fred started as they continued walking, "What's a nice dame like you doing with a crumb-bum like that?" "He's my husband.." answered Roxie slowly. Fred rolled his eyes. "Well I managed to grasp that much." Looking down she went on, "He's OK. Anyway, as soon as I get my big brake, I won't need him. I'll be famous and everybody'll love me!" "Big break?" Fred repeated, amused. "Yeah. I'm gonna have my own act, ya know, Vaudeville or something. But I'm thinking of starting small in a cabaret or club maybe." Fred didn't know whether her statement was more pathetic or hilarious. He looked her over again. Short, skinny, not hard on the eyes at all, but definitely not the dancer type. Still, he had to admire the determination in the young flapper. Suddenly an idea popped into his usually one-track mind. "Roxie, you really serious about trying to get your own act?" Roxie's eyes widened. "Oh yeah more than anything!" "Well, I have this friend, see.." Fred stuttered a little as he spoke. "He's a manager of this club called The Onyx, maybe you heard of it. Anyway, he looks for girls that he thinks have the right stuff to make it on the big time. Maybe some night if you'd like to accompany me down there, I could introduce you to him and you could show me, uh--him, he slurred, what you got." "Jesus Freddy, that'd be great!" She laughed excitedly jumping up and down. She paused for a moment. "Wait a sec, you ain't just feeding lines are ya?" "No of course not! I've got real connections, and you, I can see," He went on in a softer more enticing manner. "have some real unmentionable talents, huh?" Roxie blushed, delighting in the newfound attention she was receiving. "Don't worry, babe." Fred said as he noticed Roxie staring down at the floor beginning to feel the situation grow awkward. "Our little outing will stay purely platonic." She eyed him curiously as if to ask him what that meant. "I mean we'll stay just friends." But both of them knew damn well that he had other intentions. "Oh it's alright," she said in a seductive tone placing her hands on the front of his pants. "I was just thinking about what I'm gonna wear for your friend, and what I'm gonna be taking off for you." The wickedest of smiles formed on Fred's face.
The night Fred took Roxie to The Onyx for the first time was, on the whole, pretty amusing. She couldn't believe it. He did have connections! He must have. Dressed to the nines, like always, and talking to every beau brummel in the club, Roxie for once felt like she was gonna go places. She saw him whispering to a trombone player pointing her out, a shifty grin on his face. Wow. He's telling some one about me, she thought. Seeing that the man was just a trombone player, she figured he must have been some other middleman that knew the big guy on top. He'll tell him about me, she told herself, and soon her thoughts went back to enjoying herself. When she turned her eyes to the stage, her heart skipped a beat. Oh My God, its Velma and Ver--, she noticed the absence of the other half of the notorious "Kelly Sisters" act. Wonder where Veronica is?, she thought. Still, she couldn't tear her eyes from the stage. This woman was her idol. Everything she ever lived to be. She was so beautiful, talented, and versatile in her abilities...Everyone loves her, thought Roxie. Oh how she longed to be up there with her, doing what she wanted to do more than anything else. She closed her eyes and imagined everyone cheering and clapping for her, as she sang and danced her heart out. Her fantasy was abruptly cut short when she heard Fred say, "Let's go, babe." Already?! She thought. "But I didn't even meet your friend, that manager guy.." "Don't worry, Roxie. Its all taken care of." He assured her. "You told him about me?" she asked. "Yeah kid, its all arranged." With those words her heart jumped. Fred then grabbed her ass beckoning her to follow him to the exit. She knew what would happen once they arrived at her apartment. Fooling around with Fred and cheating on Amos to achieve her notoriety wasn't what she had intended on doing. But now that she was going to have her own act, she didn't care about anything else.
To Roxie, the rest was a blur. The month of skulking around Chicago, the meaningless affairs, the lies, the leaving, the shooting...It all happened so fast. It was odd to her now, thinking about how little remorse she felt that she had killed him. The only thing that she felt compunction for was that she had taken the life of a father of 5 little children, son-of-a-bitch though he was, not ever mentioning his wife and kids. It stung in her heart to think of what those kids must have done without their bread-winning father. She thought of the hardships that she had had to go through just raising her one child without a father, not to mention the emptiness both she and her daughter felt. Roxie missing him...Reeny not knowing him.
Suddenly, Roxie felt a poke in her back. "Mama, are you just gonna stand there and stare at the wall all day? I thought we were gonna be late!", shouted Reeny. Roxie not realizing how long she had stood there in the hall of their apartment building stuck in a flashback, immediately came back to earth. "Oh my God, I'm sorry hon. I lost track of time!" replied Roxie to her bewildered daughter. "Doing what?" asked Reeny. "Just thinking." Reeny could always tell when her mother had something important and usually somber on her mind. She would always seem to go into a blank daze until somebody had to jolt her out of it. She knew her mother had been through a lot in her life, and she wasn't perfect, or any where near it, but she knew how much her mother loved her, and it killed her to see her go through so much continuous pain. "What were you thinking about?" asked Reeny compassionately. "I was just thinking about how beautiful, talented and clever my little girl is, and where the heck it came from." Reeny smiled tenderly and stared into her mother's eyes. "You tell me." Reeny meant more than one thing when she said that, and her mother knew it. Quickly she turned from her daughter and rubbed tears from her eyes. She couldn't let her daughter see her cry. Not now. Today was too important. Trying to brush all the nagging wintry thoughts from her mind, she focused on her daughter's show. "Let's go, we don't have much time." Said Roxie. "Don't worry mom we'll make it." Reeny replied looking at her mother adoringly. More quietly she added, "We always do." With that the mother and daughter team stepped onto 15th avenue and walked in silence to the competition.