DBZ DISCLAIMER: I do not own DBZ or any of the characters, but all characters in the character bio are mine exclusively. They may be borrowed only with written permission from yours truly.
Chapter One: Draw Two
Auditorium, Frieza's Mother Ship…
Frieza's birthday was two weeks from today, and everyone was excited.
But not because it was such a special day for their feared liege, nor was it because Frieza normally declared a holiday on his birthday, or even because all the minions who kissed Frieza's tail on a regular basis (such as Dodoria, who was passionately in love with him) got an extra chance to gain Frieza's personal favor.
Well, actually, to be perfectly honest, it was really only the men in Frieza's army who became excited whenever Frieza's birthday rolled around, and that was only because a special, albeit unusual, event had taken place for the past few years on the evil tyrant's special day.
Even though it was only the men who looked forward to that anticipated occasion, everyone agreed that the event that normally happened on Frieza's birthday now was better than the awful magic shows that Frieza used to put on for everyone. For a while, Frieza had mistakenly believed that he could be as great a magician as he was a warrior and warlord, and so he had performed poorly staged stunts from his "sawing-himself-in-half" trick (which had nearly cost him his genitals) to making Low-Level officers disappear permanently whenever he did his disappearing/reappearing tricks. Of course, some soldiers thought to this day that Frieza had intentionally meant to make those Low-Levels vanish for good, but that was another story…
So the event that had replaced Frieza's magic shows (now forbidden forever by King Cold, Frieza's father) was something every heterosexual male in Frieza's army looked forward to each year now on Frieza's birthday. Frieza had thought of the idea himself, with the help of his more overly sexed male Elite officers.
Standing on the podium in the auditorium on his mother ship, with all of his soldiers in the audience that were not currently on assignments to clear or enslave planets, Frieza happily announced the news that all the hormonal males had been waiting to hear:
"In two weeks, we will be having a beauty contest to celebrate my birthday!"
"YEAH! YAYYYYYYYYY!!" the men hooted and cheered and whistled. The women in Frieza's army and the Ginyu Girls groaned and sighed, even though some of them were planning to enter the beauty contest themselves.
"And now," Frieza told the excited men in his audience, "Our beautiful Ginyu Girl Squad Leader, Eclipse, will pick out from this little sack of mine the names of two lucky soldiers to be judges. Eclipse?"
Eclipse strolled out onto the stage, wearing a long, glittering red evening gown that had slits on both sides. It was low-cut with a V neckline, showing off an enticing cleft of cleavage. The men hooted and whistled when Eclipse came across the stage to greet Frieza.
"Pick my name, baby!"
"I've got your name, honeypie, how about you get mine?"
"Pick me, sugarlips, pick me!"
"Leave her alone!" Nappa growled loudly at the oversexed men shouting at Eclipse. He would have lunged at them, if Vegeta had not been there to restrain him.
"Sit down, Nappa."
"Eclipse is my mate," Nappa hissed. "I don't like those guys making their catcalls at her."
"You can teach them a lesson later, Nappa. Right now, we must behave ourselves. You know how that lizard leader of ours is about causing unnecessary disruptions at his assemblies. I don't feel like dealing with Frieza's punishment for disrespect and disruption today, so just sit tight."
Nappa grumbled under his breath how he would like to sit tight on the heads of certain horny males among Frieza's army, but he obeyed Vegeta and remained still. He crossed his arms and sulked for a few moments until Eclipse looked at him directly and blew him a kiss. Nappa then relaxed his huge arms and grinned, and Journa and Raditz swore that they saw his ears and the tips of his cheeks turn red. Even Vegeta snickered along with them, teasing Nappa.
Frieza grinned at Eclipse and handed her a small velvet sack. Frieza, like the Elite males, used to see the former courtesan quite a bit on a personal basis before Eclipse exclusively became Nappa's woman. Frieza had not shown that he had been fully interested in keeping Eclipse for himself, but he had been visibly agitated (like all the men in his Elite) that she would choose a "monkey" for her permanent boyfriend or "mate" as Nappa had dubbed her.
Eclipse closed her beautiful black diamond eyes and reached into the sack with one of her elegant, long-fingered, hands. She casually pulled out a scrap of paper that and announced cheerily, "One of this year's judges is…Raditz!"
A mixture of boos and cheers followed her announcement. Nappa nudged Raditz and chuckled. "Congrats, Raditz, you lucky man, you!"
Raditz laughed. "There is a Supreme Kai, and he loves me! And to think that I get to pick from all those gorgeous women!"
Journa, Vegeta's sister and Raditz's mate, frowned heavily and sulked. Raditz noticed her expression and asked, "Journ, what's wrong?"
"You're going to have a bunch of desperate, big-breasted girls with tiny waists and even tinier brains panting after you and sucking up to you," Journa huffed, crossing her arms.
"And that's supposed to be a bad thing?" Nappa joked. Journa threw a crumpled wad of paper at him, and it hit Vegeta.
"Watch it!" Vegeta warned his sister.
"Don't tell me that you wouldn't like to be a beauty contest judge?" Nappa asked, grinning.
"No, I wouldn't. Beauty contests are ridiculous. They judge women and girls on how good they look in swimsuits and evening gowns, or how much leg or chest they can show, or how bright their smiles are. They don't judge them on their strength or their intelligence; yes, there is a talent section and a question-and-answer section, but it's really all about looks. There has to be more beneath a beautiful package," Vegeta asserted with absolute certainty.
"I agree," Journa told her brother, "and I'm glad that there's one man who isn't going to be panting and hooting after all the women on stage when that silly contest arrives."
"Journa, are you still mad about last year's beauty contest?" Raditz said with a pout. "That was a year ago."
"Raditz, I could have dealt with you staring at the women. I could have even put up with you making that stupid catcall to that one big-breasted contestant. But did you and Nappa have to get up on stage and dance with that one humanoid beauty during the so-called talent portion of the contest. You nearly rubbed bellies with her, for crying out loud!"
"Journ, she invited us there!" Raditz protested. "And I apologized for it for I don't know how many times afterwards. I swore never to do that again, and I haven't!" He then looked at her and ever so casually began rubbing her bare knee. "Besides, no other woman could ever compare to you. Ladies like her do catch the eye, yes, but you're the only one who catches mine." Journa slowly smiled then and snuggled closer to her mate.
Nappa whispered to Vegeta in a chuckle, "Smooth move."
Vegeta smirked and whispered back, "Yes, I do have to give that dolt credit sometimes. Occasionally, I even get happy with Journa for taking him as her mate, occasionally."
By the time, the furor and fuss settled, Eclipse had the second name of the next lucky beauty contest judge. "And the next new judge is…Nappa!"
"Yes!" Nappa jumped out of his seat and cheered with his huge fist in the air.
"Favoritism," one male soldier huffed.
"She had to have peeked," accused another man.
"That's it; it's too much of a coincidence," the first soldier stated.
Unfortunately, the two soldiers were sitting directly behind the Saiyans, and Nappa turned around quickly and seized them by their collars. "You two take back those statements immediately, or you'll find yourselves in hell!"
"NAPPA!" Frieza hissed from the stage. "Put those two down at once, or you'll be disqualified!" At Frieza's orders, Nappa huffily threw the two frightened soldiers, merely Low-Levels, back into their chairs and sat down himself.
"Now," Frieza said serenely, after Nappa had sat down, "Nappa and Raditz are our new beauty pageant judges this year. Congratulations, Nappa and Raditz! That will be all for today. The lucky ladies who wish to enter may come up to the stage after this assembly is over to pick up the entry forms and contest rules. All ladies in the Cold Empire not related to the judges by blood are eligible. And I look forward to all the wonderful gifts that all of you (and I do mean all of you) will be giving me for my birthday! A new personal traveling pod would be nice. Meeting dismissed."
The crowd began to file out of the auditorium.
"I'd like to give him a new personal pod, alright," Journa huffed after Frieza disappeared from the stage and most of the other minions had vanished. "So I can stuff all of him in it."
"That would make a nice promotional product-Frieza In A Can!" Nappa joked.
"Ugh! No, thanks! I'll do without condensed canned lizard, thank you," Vegeta gagged. "Besides, Dodoria would be likely to buy that pod for him first."
"What are you getting him, Vegeta?" Nappa asked.
"Ideally, a free trip to the next dimension. Seriously, I don't know yet. I hate that giving that tyrant birthday presents is 'mandatory'."
"What do you expect from the bastard who killed our father?" Journa asked angrily.
"Not much," Vegeta admitted. "But let's get off that topic for now. I don't like discussing him anymore than necessary, especially before dinner."
"I take it that canned lizard's not on the menu," Raditz quipped.
"No," Vegeta told Raditz coolly, "it's not."
"But we did get lucky today though, Raditz, you and I did anyway," Nappa stated. "I can't wait to see all those gorgeous dames parading across the stage. I'm glad that Frieza dropped the rule forbidding bikinis last year."
"You and me both…remember that girl last year in an itty-bitty little…" Raditz's voice trailed off when he saw Journa glaring at him. "Umm, never mind. But anyway, Nappa, all the women are going to be wishing that you and I were single for the next two weeks!"
"Well, you won't catch me entering," Journa huffed. "I'm not about to show off my body in front of a bunch of horny, oversexed men with the brains of five-year-olds and the hormones of fourteen-year-olds and having them hooting and hollering at me."
"C'mon, Journ, you'd look great in a swimsuit…I've never seen you in one," Raditz pleaded.
"For you, Raditz, I'll be happy to parade around in one…in private. But not in front of those idiots who'll be in the audience."
Nappa frowned. "Eclipse told me beforehand that she won't be entering the contest this year, and I was hoping to see her in a swimsuit too!"
"Sorry, Nappa, but now with you being a judge, it just wouldn't be fair!" a sweet voice piped up.
Nappa grinned then when Eclipse sidled up to him and slid her arms around him, kissing him in front of everyone. Nappa wrapped his arms and his tail around her.
"Besides, I didn't think that you'd like all those men making catcalls to me on stage," Eclipse teased. "I wouldn't want you to kill anyone."
Nappa chuckled, not letting on to his mate that he had caused several of his rivals for her attention to permanently "disappear".
"Seriously, congratulations to both you and Raditz though," Eclipse said with her perfect toothpaste smile. "I know you two will have to be fighting the ladies off for the next two weeks."
Nappa chuckled again. "Don't worry, gorgeous, I won't be taking any of them home! Unless one of them flashes her chest, of course!"
Eclipse playfully hit her mate with her small fist. "Nappa!"
"Just kidding, just kidding!"
Coola's mother ship…
"Lord Coola?"
Coola was sitting in his elaborately decorated parlor on his mother ship, sipping some expensive red wine. He tapped the button on his scouter.
"Yes, Sauzaa?"
"You told me to inform immediately when your brother, Lord Frieza, announced the judges for the beauty contest?"
"And?"
"Doore, who was attending the assembly, supposedly to send your brother an early gift from you, just contacted me. Two Saiyans, Nappa and Raditz, have been selected to be the judges this year."
Coola chuckled, stretching his handsome fourth form that he usually resided in. He leisurely took another sip of his wine. "Wonderful! Just in time too, since my little love, Karilyn, wishes to enter a beauty pageant. I must thank my brother for this innovative idea to have a beauty contest on his birthday every year! And this year I have a real winner in my arms. Sauzaa, you know what to do. Have Neizu and Doore help you. I will see that my little beauty wins this year! I want you three to 'deliver' the lucky judges to me as soon as possible."
"Yes, sire, will do."
Planet Ice, King Cold's Palace in his throne room…
King Cold was admiring his daughter, twenty-year-old Snowflake, appreciatively, as she showed her father a new dress. Snowflake was the daughter of his favorite wife, his third wife, Lady Caldair, a half-Cara, half-Gemstarian woman from planet Cara-Camay who had been a former warrior, but now was a great lady. She had long, red-gold hair, peach-blue skin, velvety purple eyes, the deadly blue diamond nails of the Gemstarians, and the unusually long neck of all the Cara tribe.
Like her favored mother, Snowflake was also a warrior, and she was almost entirely humanoid; the only physical traits she shared with her powerful father were his black eyes, some of his strength, and some of his height; she was over six-feet-tall. Snowflake had almost all other of her mother's looks and physical traits except for her hair color, which was a light, icy lavender color streaked with silver; she had inherited the unusual hair-coloring from her Gemstarian ancestors. She had a medium-sized bosom, a long slender nose, a thoroughbred figure, and long, long, slim legs that would not quit. Although she was half-Icein, she did not have the ability to change into a different and stronger form the way that her older brothers, Coola and Frieza, did; in fact, she could not change her shape at all.
King Cold took that drawback in stride; of course it worried him at times that she would not be able to challenge her older brothers should they threaten her, but he did not let it get to him. Coola and Frieza were cold and unfriendly to her, but then they were like that to all their half-siblings that King Cold had had by other women besides their mother, the deceased Queen Frost. As long as they didn't believe that Snowflake was strong or devious enough to take the rights to King Cold's throne from them, they would leave her alone, even though it was said that they worried at times about her strength…
"What do you think, Father?"
King Cold smiled when his daughter showed him the silver ball gown that she was parading around in front of him. "Beautiful as always, my dear, that color suits you well."
Snowflake humbly kissed her father on his cheek, and King Cold chuckled. Her birthday was coming up a week after Frieza's, and he knew just the gift to get her. He sent her away then to show her mother her new gown, and he tapped his scouter to contact his Head Commander, Brutu.
"Brutu, are you there?"
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"Good. You were there at my son, Frieza's last assembly, weren't you?"
"Yes, my king."
"Who are the judges for the beauty contest this year? My wife, Caldair, mentioned something to me about Snowflake wanting to enter this year."
"Two Saiyans, Your Majesty. Lord Frieza referred to them as Raditz and Nappa."
"Wonderful! Thank you, Brutu! Now, as soon as possible, I want you and some of your men to arrange a meeting for me with the two lucky judges this year. Have them come to planet Ice as soon as possible."
"Yes, Your Majesty. Consider it done."
After they cut off communication, King Cold chuckled to himself after sipping some wine. A beauty contest victory was one of the best presents he could think of to give his favorite daughter.
In the corridors of Frieza's mother ship…
"Ladies, it is time we protested this obvious act of male chauvinism! Having a beauty contest is more proof that our Lord Frieza is a sexist pig!"
A tall woman from the Cara tribe of planet Cara-Camay was standing in the midst of a group of ten young women who served in Frieza's army. She was a Lower-Elite officer who was five-feet, ten inches tall with long, curly, light brown hair, large emerald-green eyes, a large chest, long legs, and the Cara long neck. She was one of the resident feminists on Frieza's ship, and she strongly opposed Frieza's idea of a beauty contest, and she had been proclaiming to anyone who would listen that beauty contests and pageants degraded women because it based winning mostly on who was considered to be the most attractive. She was currently telling the group of interested young ladies her viewpoints concerning the upcoming beauty pageant.
"I agree, Feminisa," a short, squat pink female alien with three eyestalks holding three blue irises cheered.
"We must protest!" declared three more female aliens.
"That's right, Triclopsa!" Feminisa declared. "Ladies, we must be willing to risk our lives for freedom and equality for women in Frieza's army! We must take up signs and posters and march through the corridors, declaring that Frieza is nothing more than a sexist pig that only cares what the men in his army think! He clearly favors men over women, and this beauty pageant proves it! We must demand that he cancel this beauty contest that puts down women by making them seem no more than sex objects for horny men to hoot and holler at like dogs! Onward to the supply room, where we will make our signs and posters protesting the contest! To the downfall of sexism! Say this with me: Frieza is a sexist pig!"
"Sexist pig! Sexist pig! Frieza is a sexist pig!" the ten women with Feminisa chanted. "Frieza is a sexist pig! Sexist pig! Sexist pig! Only sexist pigs permit beauty contests!"
The young women continued chanting and shouting, as they marched away with Feminisa, who was their unofficial leader of this protest march.
Chapter One: Draw Two
Auditorium, Frieza's Mother Ship…
Frieza's birthday was two weeks from today, and everyone was excited.
But not because it was such a special day for their feared liege, nor was it because Frieza normally declared a holiday on his birthday, or even because all the minions who kissed Frieza's tail on a regular basis (such as Dodoria, who was passionately in love with him) got an extra chance to gain Frieza's personal favor.
Well, actually, to be perfectly honest, it was really only the men in Frieza's army who became excited whenever Frieza's birthday rolled around, and that was only because a special, albeit unusual, event had taken place for the past few years on the evil tyrant's special day.
Even though it was only the men who looked forward to that anticipated occasion, everyone agreed that the event that normally happened on Frieza's birthday now was better than the awful magic shows that Frieza used to put on for everyone. For a while, Frieza had mistakenly believed that he could be as great a magician as he was a warrior and warlord, and so he had performed poorly staged stunts from his "sawing-himself-in-half" trick (which had nearly cost him his genitals) to making Low-Level officers disappear permanently whenever he did his disappearing/reappearing tricks. Of course, some soldiers thought to this day that Frieza had intentionally meant to make those Low-Levels vanish for good, but that was another story…
So the event that had replaced Frieza's magic shows (now forbidden forever by King Cold, Frieza's father) was something every heterosexual male in Frieza's army looked forward to each year now on Frieza's birthday. Frieza had thought of the idea himself, with the help of his more overly sexed male Elite officers.
Standing on the podium in the auditorium on his mother ship, with all of his soldiers in the audience that were not currently on assignments to clear or enslave planets, Frieza happily announced the news that all the hormonal males had been waiting to hear:
"In two weeks, we will be having a beauty contest to celebrate my birthday!"
"YEAH! YAYYYYYYYYY!!" the men hooted and cheered and whistled. The women in Frieza's army and the Ginyu Girls groaned and sighed, even though some of them were planning to enter the beauty contest themselves.
"And now," Frieza told the excited men in his audience, "Our beautiful Ginyu Girl Squad Leader, Eclipse, will pick out from this little sack of mine the names of two lucky soldiers to be judges. Eclipse?"
Eclipse strolled out onto the stage, wearing a long, glittering red evening gown that had slits on both sides. It was low-cut with a V neckline, showing off an enticing cleft of cleavage. The men hooted and whistled when Eclipse came across the stage to greet Frieza.
"Pick my name, baby!"
"I've got your name, honeypie, how about you get mine?"
"Pick me, sugarlips, pick me!"
"Leave her alone!" Nappa growled loudly at the oversexed men shouting at Eclipse. He would have lunged at them, if Vegeta had not been there to restrain him.
"Sit down, Nappa."
"Eclipse is my mate," Nappa hissed. "I don't like those guys making their catcalls at her."
"You can teach them a lesson later, Nappa. Right now, we must behave ourselves. You know how that lizard leader of ours is about causing unnecessary disruptions at his assemblies. I don't feel like dealing with Frieza's punishment for disrespect and disruption today, so just sit tight."
Nappa grumbled under his breath how he would like to sit tight on the heads of certain horny males among Frieza's army, but he obeyed Vegeta and remained still. He crossed his arms and sulked for a few moments until Eclipse looked at him directly and blew him a kiss. Nappa then relaxed his huge arms and grinned, and Journa and Raditz swore that they saw his ears and the tips of his cheeks turn red. Even Vegeta snickered along with them, teasing Nappa.
Frieza grinned at Eclipse and handed her a small velvet sack. Frieza, like the Elite males, used to see the former courtesan quite a bit on a personal basis before Eclipse exclusively became Nappa's woman. Frieza had not shown that he had been fully interested in keeping Eclipse for himself, but he had been visibly agitated (like all the men in his Elite) that she would choose a "monkey" for her permanent boyfriend or "mate" as Nappa had dubbed her.
Eclipse closed her beautiful black diamond eyes and reached into the sack with one of her elegant, long-fingered, hands. She casually pulled out a scrap of paper that and announced cheerily, "One of this year's judges is…Raditz!"
A mixture of boos and cheers followed her announcement. Nappa nudged Raditz and chuckled. "Congrats, Raditz, you lucky man, you!"
Raditz laughed. "There is a Supreme Kai, and he loves me! And to think that I get to pick from all those gorgeous women!"
Journa, Vegeta's sister and Raditz's mate, frowned heavily and sulked. Raditz noticed her expression and asked, "Journ, what's wrong?"
"You're going to have a bunch of desperate, big-breasted girls with tiny waists and even tinier brains panting after you and sucking up to you," Journa huffed, crossing her arms.
"And that's supposed to be a bad thing?" Nappa joked. Journa threw a crumpled wad of paper at him, and it hit Vegeta.
"Watch it!" Vegeta warned his sister.
"Don't tell me that you wouldn't like to be a beauty contest judge?" Nappa asked, grinning.
"No, I wouldn't. Beauty contests are ridiculous. They judge women and girls on how good they look in swimsuits and evening gowns, or how much leg or chest they can show, or how bright their smiles are. They don't judge them on their strength or their intelligence; yes, there is a talent section and a question-and-answer section, but it's really all about looks. There has to be more beneath a beautiful package," Vegeta asserted with absolute certainty.
"I agree," Journa told her brother, "and I'm glad that there's one man who isn't going to be panting and hooting after all the women on stage when that silly contest arrives."
"Journa, are you still mad about last year's beauty contest?" Raditz said with a pout. "That was a year ago."
"Raditz, I could have dealt with you staring at the women. I could have even put up with you making that stupid catcall to that one big-breasted contestant. But did you and Nappa have to get up on stage and dance with that one humanoid beauty during the so-called talent portion of the contest. You nearly rubbed bellies with her, for crying out loud!"
"Journ, she invited us there!" Raditz protested. "And I apologized for it for I don't know how many times afterwards. I swore never to do that again, and I haven't!" He then looked at her and ever so casually began rubbing her bare knee. "Besides, no other woman could ever compare to you. Ladies like her do catch the eye, yes, but you're the only one who catches mine." Journa slowly smiled then and snuggled closer to her mate.
Nappa whispered to Vegeta in a chuckle, "Smooth move."
Vegeta smirked and whispered back, "Yes, I do have to give that dolt credit sometimes. Occasionally, I even get happy with Journa for taking him as her mate, occasionally."
By the time, the furor and fuss settled, Eclipse had the second name of the next lucky beauty contest judge. "And the next new judge is…Nappa!"
"Yes!" Nappa jumped out of his seat and cheered with his huge fist in the air.
"Favoritism," one male soldier huffed.
"She had to have peeked," accused another man.
"That's it; it's too much of a coincidence," the first soldier stated.
Unfortunately, the two soldiers were sitting directly behind the Saiyans, and Nappa turned around quickly and seized them by their collars. "You two take back those statements immediately, or you'll find yourselves in hell!"
"NAPPA!" Frieza hissed from the stage. "Put those two down at once, or you'll be disqualified!" At Frieza's orders, Nappa huffily threw the two frightened soldiers, merely Low-Levels, back into their chairs and sat down himself.
"Now," Frieza said serenely, after Nappa had sat down, "Nappa and Raditz are our new beauty pageant judges this year. Congratulations, Nappa and Raditz! That will be all for today. The lucky ladies who wish to enter may come up to the stage after this assembly is over to pick up the entry forms and contest rules. All ladies in the Cold Empire not related to the judges by blood are eligible. And I look forward to all the wonderful gifts that all of you (and I do mean all of you) will be giving me for my birthday! A new personal traveling pod would be nice. Meeting dismissed."
The crowd began to file out of the auditorium.
"I'd like to give him a new personal pod, alright," Journa huffed after Frieza disappeared from the stage and most of the other minions had vanished. "So I can stuff all of him in it."
"That would make a nice promotional product-Frieza In A Can!" Nappa joked.
"Ugh! No, thanks! I'll do without condensed canned lizard, thank you," Vegeta gagged. "Besides, Dodoria would be likely to buy that pod for him first."
"What are you getting him, Vegeta?" Nappa asked.
"Ideally, a free trip to the next dimension. Seriously, I don't know yet. I hate that giving that tyrant birthday presents is 'mandatory'."
"What do you expect from the bastard who killed our father?" Journa asked angrily.
"Not much," Vegeta admitted. "But let's get off that topic for now. I don't like discussing him anymore than necessary, especially before dinner."
"I take it that canned lizard's not on the menu," Raditz quipped.
"No," Vegeta told Raditz coolly, "it's not."
"But we did get lucky today though, Raditz, you and I did anyway," Nappa stated. "I can't wait to see all those gorgeous dames parading across the stage. I'm glad that Frieza dropped the rule forbidding bikinis last year."
"You and me both…remember that girl last year in an itty-bitty little…" Raditz's voice trailed off when he saw Journa glaring at him. "Umm, never mind. But anyway, Nappa, all the women are going to be wishing that you and I were single for the next two weeks!"
"Well, you won't catch me entering," Journa huffed. "I'm not about to show off my body in front of a bunch of horny, oversexed men with the brains of five-year-olds and the hormones of fourteen-year-olds and having them hooting and hollering at me."
"C'mon, Journ, you'd look great in a swimsuit…I've never seen you in one," Raditz pleaded.
"For you, Raditz, I'll be happy to parade around in one…in private. But not in front of those idiots who'll be in the audience."
Nappa frowned. "Eclipse told me beforehand that she won't be entering the contest this year, and I was hoping to see her in a swimsuit too!"
"Sorry, Nappa, but now with you being a judge, it just wouldn't be fair!" a sweet voice piped up.
Nappa grinned then when Eclipse sidled up to him and slid her arms around him, kissing him in front of everyone. Nappa wrapped his arms and his tail around her.
"Besides, I didn't think that you'd like all those men making catcalls to me on stage," Eclipse teased. "I wouldn't want you to kill anyone."
Nappa chuckled, not letting on to his mate that he had caused several of his rivals for her attention to permanently "disappear".
"Seriously, congratulations to both you and Raditz though," Eclipse said with her perfect toothpaste smile. "I know you two will have to be fighting the ladies off for the next two weeks."
Nappa chuckled again. "Don't worry, gorgeous, I won't be taking any of them home! Unless one of them flashes her chest, of course!"
Eclipse playfully hit her mate with her small fist. "Nappa!"
"Just kidding, just kidding!"
Coola's mother ship…
"Lord Coola?"
Coola was sitting in his elaborately decorated parlor on his mother ship, sipping some expensive red wine. He tapped the button on his scouter.
"Yes, Sauzaa?"
"You told me to inform immediately when your brother, Lord Frieza, announced the judges for the beauty contest?"
"And?"
"Doore, who was attending the assembly, supposedly to send your brother an early gift from you, just contacted me. Two Saiyans, Nappa and Raditz, have been selected to be the judges this year."
Coola chuckled, stretching his handsome fourth form that he usually resided in. He leisurely took another sip of his wine. "Wonderful! Just in time too, since my little love, Karilyn, wishes to enter a beauty pageant. I must thank my brother for this innovative idea to have a beauty contest on his birthday every year! And this year I have a real winner in my arms. Sauzaa, you know what to do. Have Neizu and Doore help you. I will see that my little beauty wins this year! I want you three to 'deliver' the lucky judges to me as soon as possible."
"Yes, sire, will do."
Planet Ice, King Cold's Palace in his throne room…
King Cold was admiring his daughter, twenty-year-old Snowflake, appreciatively, as she showed her father a new dress. Snowflake was the daughter of his favorite wife, his third wife, Lady Caldair, a half-Cara, half-Gemstarian woman from planet Cara-Camay who had been a former warrior, but now was a great lady. She had long, red-gold hair, peach-blue skin, velvety purple eyes, the deadly blue diamond nails of the Gemstarians, and the unusually long neck of all the Cara tribe.
Like her favored mother, Snowflake was also a warrior, and she was almost entirely humanoid; the only physical traits she shared with her powerful father were his black eyes, some of his strength, and some of his height; she was over six-feet-tall. Snowflake had almost all other of her mother's looks and physical traits except for her hair color, which was a light, icy lavender color streaked with silver; she had inherited the unusual hair-coloring from her Gemstarian ancestors. She had a medium-sized bosom, a long slender nose, a thoroughbred figure, and long, long, slim legs that would not quit. Although she was half-Icein, she did not have the ability to change into a different and stronger form the way that her older brothers, Coola and Frieza, did; in fact, she could not change her shape at all.
King Cold took that drawback in stride; of course it worried him at times that she would not be able to challenge her older brothers should they threaten her, but he did not let it get to him. Coola and Frieza were cold and unfriendly to her, but then they were like that to all their half-siblings that King Cold had had by other women besides their mother, the deceased Queen Frost. As long as they didn't believe that Snowflake was strong or devious enough to take the rights to King Cold's throne from them, they would leave her alone, even though it was said that they worried at times about her strength…
"What do you think, Father?"
King Cold smiled when his daughter showed him the silver ball gown that she was parading around in front of him. "Beautiful as always, my dear, that color suits you well."
Snowflake humbly kissed her father on his cheek, and King Cold chuckled. Her birthday was coming up a week after Frieza's, and he knew just the gift to get her. He sent her away then to show her mother her new gown, and he tapped his scouter to contact his Head Commander, Brutu.
"Brutu, are you there?"
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"Good. You were there at my son, Frieza's last assembly, weren't you?"
"Yes, my king."
"Who are the judges for the beauty contest this year? My wife, Caldair, mentioned something to me about Snowflake wanting to enter this year."
"Two Saiyans, Your Majesty. Lord Frieza referred to them as Raditz and Nappa."
"Wonderful! Thank you, Brutu! Now, as soon as possible, I want you and some of your men to arrange a meeting for me with the two lucky judges this year. Have them come to planet Ice as soon as possible."
"Yes, Your Majesty. Consider it done."
After they cut off communication, King Cold chuckled to himself after sipping some wine. A beauty contest victory was one of the best presents he could think of to give his favorite daughter.
In the corridors of Frieza's mother ship…
"Ladies, it is time we protested this obvious act of male chauvinism! Having a beauty contest is more proof that our Lord Frieza is a sexist pig!"
A tall woman from the Cara tribe of planet Cara-Camay was standing in the midst of a group of ten young women who served in Frieza's army. She was a Lower-Elite officer who was five-feet, ten inches tall with long, curly, light brown hair, large emerald-green eyes, a large chest, long legs, and the Cara long neck. She was one of the resident feminists on Frieza's ship, and she strongly opposed Frieza's idea of a beauty contest, and she had been proclaiming to anyone who would listen that beauty contests and pageants degraded women because it based winning mostly on who was considered to be the most attractive. She was currently telling the group of interested young ladies her viewpoints concerning the upcoming beauty pageant.
"I agree, Feminisa," a short, squat pink female alien with three eyestalks holding three blue irises cheered.
"We must protest!" declared three more female aliens.
"That's right, Triclopsa!" Feminisa declared. "Ladies, we must be willing to risk our lives for freedom and equality for women in Frieza's army! We must take up signs and posters and march through the corridors, declaring that Frieza is nothing more than a sexist pig that only cares what the men in his army think! He clearly favors men over women, and this beauty pageant proves it! We must demand that he cancel this beauty contest that puts down women by making them seem no more than sex objects for horny men to hoot and holler at like dogs! Onward to the supply room, where we will make our signs and posters protesting the contest! To the downfall of sexism! Say this with me: Frieza is a sexist pig!"
"Sexist pig! Sexist pig! Frieza is a sexist pig!" the ten women with Feminisa chanted. "Frieza is a sexist pig! Sexist pig! Sexist pig! Only sexist pigs permit beauty contests!"
The young women continued chanting and shouting, as they marched away with Feminisa, who was their unofficial leader of this protest march.