Author's notes:: Warning, Kat's chapter. Please Review!! :o) I'm shutting up now. No more torture from the author's notes.
~*~
Our eyes are locked, the world seems to have stopped, her fingers linger on my face as she watches my every move. I want so badly to lean forward, to kiss her, to hold her in my arms. I can't, its to much to ask, to many repercussions, this all I can ask for, this simple moment, a moment that means so much to me. "What happened?" Her voice is barley audible, her lips slightly moving. I don't reply, I don't how, do I tell the truth? Dig up all the dirt, remind her once again that I am the one who ended her perfect relationship, the cause of all her problems. She looks at me expectantly, hoping I will tell her the truth. I swallow, my throat burning from my beating, my whole body still aching. But having her so close, mere inches away is enough to numb the pain. "John." She whispers, She moves her head to the side a little, causing her hair to brush up against my face. "Zach did it, he hit you didn't he?" She closes her eyes, I can see this is probably something she didn't need to know. I would have though this would make her happy. That this is something she wanted. "Abby." I sigh, I lean my head in closer to her, her eyes open slightly watching as my lips slowly make their way to her cheek, I brush up against her taking in the scent of her, the feel of her skin against my lips. "Its okay." I whisper into her ear, she puts the needle down enclosing her arms around my neck, bringing us into a warm embrace. Tilting her head to the side, our lips meet and ever so slightly my mouth opens, I feel a warm tear trickle down her face, falling upon my lips, I pull away, watching as the tears fall down her face, my hands make their way from her waist to her face, wiping away the fallen drops. "Its okay. You're with him, stay with him." I say tilting her chin up, she nods pulling away from me. "Yeah, he's the one I need, the one I love, you're- you are just like a drug, something I don't need, something that can only hurt me. Yet for some reason I keep coming back to you." A bitter laugh escapes from her. "And- and I don't know why. The more I try to push you away, the more I need you. Who would of thought that I would ever need you, but I do, I'm hooked. I just need to get away, that's really what I need. I can't though, but you- you can." I watch her as she frantically babbles on. She stops looking at me, her hands done their flapping and now resting shakily at her side. "If that's what you want-" I swallow hard, knowing that I too need space, she is my drug, I got past my other addictions I can do the same for her. "I want it." She says firmly, approaching me again, I watch as she picks up the suturing where she left off the needle digging into my skin, just adding to the pain I feel right now. I wince as she lightly touched my cheek, I can't be near her anymore, this is what she does to me. She sutures in silence, an uncomfortable silence. "Is this what you want?" I ask out of no where, catching her off guard. "What?" She asks quizzically.
"Zach, is he what you want?" She looks stunned staring at me unbelievably.
"Yeah. Of course, you know that. Jesus John. Its over, I don't know what is over, because we haven't had anything in over a year, we are threw okay, whatever little thing you made up in your mind about us, end it. End it now. Because its not possible." She drops the needle on the table and leaves the room, maybe she is right, we don't need each other. I pull myself off of the bed, walking out into the admit desk area, where she is currently rifling threw charts. "Abby-" Weaver screeches from behind me, I look over my shoulder and watch as she approaches Abby angrily, she glances at me, then back at Abby. "You were late." Weave screeches.
"Yeah, I'm sorry Dr. Weaver, but my boyfriend and I just had a falling-"
"No." Weaver hollers, "I don't care about what happens at home, I want you here when your shift starts. You building could be burning down and I still won't care." Kerry bitches at Abby, as I make my way behind them to look at the chart, Weaver whips around looking at me. "And you. What the hell happened? You look like hell."
"Thanks for the compliment Kerry." I sass, she rolls her eyes at me, turning back to Abby, giving her an evil stare then back at me. "I don't know what the hell is going on in your private lives, but once it starts to effect your work it becomes my problem too, and as much as I'd hate for that to happen it unfortunately has, Abby your on my list, Carter get your ass in the lounge." She limps off to the lounge as I follow looking quickly at Abby.
I push the door to the lounge open, Weaver is at the coffee machine, "what the hell happened to you?" She spits at me.
"Uh- just a little out of work confrontation." I scratch the back of my head, watching as she pours herself a cup of coffee. "Yeah well, are you okay?" Her face is a little bit softer then earlier. "Yeah, I'm fine." She nods, leaving the lounge, I follow her out, seeing a person I hoped I would never see again on the way to admit. "Excuse me-" He asks Kerry, completely avoiding me, Kerry ignores him walking off towards the elevator. I make my way around the desk, as Frank plays around on the computer, moving away from Zach, that man really likes avoiding doing his job. I walk over to Zach attempting to be polite, "she's in with a patient." I grab a chart flipping through it, trying my best to look inconspicuous, but failing miserably. "Don't fucking talk to me." He spits under his breath, our eyes meet briefly, I am glad he doesn't know about our exam room encounter, as small as it was, I'm sure it would be enough to send him flying over the counter and rip my heart from my chest. "Carter-" I look behind me, Frank holds out the phone looking annoyed. "What?" I ask tiredly, I can still feel Zach eyes bore through me.
"Your girlfriend is on the phone. Something about your son- I don't know or care." I turn around, Zach laughs bitterly, "Unfucking believable." He mutters, I guess he was not aware I had Kem and Kassim. "Hey." I say into the phone, trying to sound nonchalant, he stares at me as I talk to Kem. "How are you?" She asks in her accented voice.
"Good. I miss you." I can tell by her voice that she is smiling through the phone.
"I miss you too, when are you coming home?" She sighs tiredly, I know she misses me, but she has yet to know about my escapade last night, I don't know if she would react in the same manner as Zach did, but I do know that she will be hurt. "Soon." Silence fills the phone as we listen to each other breath. "I miss you John, please come home soon." She begs, "Kassim misses you too." I look around the hospital, seeing Abby depart from a nearby exam room, she catches Zach's eye too, causing him to remove his watchful eye from me and rush over to her side. I watch as he hands her, her cell phone, explaining something to her, I am not very good at lip reading, but I manage to pick up that he got called into work and that they will talk tomorrow. He asks her if she is okay. His eyes drift over to me, knowing I am watching, I look down immediately. "Anyways baby, I have got to go. I will call you tonight."
"Love you John."
"Yeah you too." I hang up the phone, turning back to watching Abby and Zach interact as my heart slowly breaks. I don't know why I am suddenly hooked on her again, it has been so long, maybe because she has proven herself to be the women I have always wanted, how come she can be that for someone else and not me? Does Zach fulfill her in a way that I can not? He pulls her into a hug, I can tell he has yet to forgive her for audultry, but he will try, even if it is just to spite me. Two days ago I didn't even know this guys name, now he is my arch nemesis or at least I am his. I know that once I go back to Africa, upon Abby's request, I will no longer think of Abby or Zach, out of sight, out of mind. But while I am here, they are all I seem to be thinking about. Zach turns around walking out of the hospital, he turns around once more to smile at a beaming Abby, I have no clue what he aid to her, but he mad her happy, when all I seem to do is make her miserable. Kerry walks by me once more, and I decide to follow. "Kerry." I call chasing after her, drawing the attention of many patients. "John, what can I do for you?" She stops looking at me somewhat annoyed, "I am going back to Africa sooner then expected." I say breathlessly.
"When?" She starts to walk again, making me follow her. I am not sure, when would be the soonest I could go, tomorrow probably. "Uh tomorrow." She stops dead in her tracks.
"John- You were suppose to be here for two more weeks at least." She looks pissed, can I blame her. No, the only person to blame is myself. "I'm sorry, but there is a problem back home that I need to take care of." I fib, she nods understanding somewhat. Since Henry was born she seems to be a little more understanding with family matters. "Okay, fine. Call when you are coming back." I watch as she walks away, is this really a good idea? Well it is for the best.
~*~
Our eyes are locked, the world seems to have stopped, her fingers linger on my face as she watches my every move. I want so badly to lean forward, to kiss her, to hold her in my arms. I can't, its to much to ask, to many repercussions, this all I can ask for, this simple moment, a moment that means so much to me. "What happened?" Her voice is barley audible, her lips slightly moving. I don't reply, I don't how, do I tell the truth? Dig up all the dirt, remind her once again that I am the one who ended her perfect relationship, the cause of all her problems. She looks at me expectantly, hoping I will tell her the truth. I swallow, my throat burning from my beating, my whole body still aching. But having her so close, mere inches away is enough to numb the pain. "John." She whispers, She moves her head to the side a little, causing her hair to brush up against my face. "Zach did it, he hit you didn't he?" She closes her eyes, I can see this is probably something she didn't need to know. I would have though this would make her happy. That this is something she wanted. "Abby." I sigh, I lean my head in closer to her, her eyes open slightly watching as my lips slowly make their way to her cheek, I brush up against her taking in the scent of her, the feel of her skin against my lips. "Its okay." I whisper into her ear, she puts the needle down enclosing her arms around my neck, bringing us into a warm embrace. Tilting her head to the side, our lips meet and ever so slightly my mouth opens, I feel a warm tear trickle down her face, falling upon my lips, I pull away, watching as the tears fall down her face, my hands make their way from her waist to her face, wiping away the fallen drops. "Its okay. You're with him, stay with him." I say tilting her chin up, she nods pulling away from me. "Yeah, he's the one I need, the one I love, you're- you are just like a drug, something I don't need, something that can only hurt me. Yet for some reason I keep coming back to you." A bitter laugh escapes from her. "And- and I don't know why. The more I try to push you away, the more I need you. Who would of thought that I would ever need you, but I do, I'm hooked. I just need to get away, that's really what I need. I can't though, but you- you can." I watch her as she frantically babbles on. She stops looking at me, her hands done their flapping and now resting shakily at her side. "If that's what you want-" I swallow hard, knowing that I too need space, she is my drug, I got past my other addictions I can do the same for her. "I want it." She says firmly, approaching me again, I watch as she picks up the suturing where she left off the needle digging into my skin, just adding to the pain I feel right now. I wince as she lightly touched my cheek, I can't be near her anymore, this is what she does to me. She sutures in silence, an uncomfortable silence. "Is this what you want?" I ask out of no where, catching her off guard. "What?" She asks quizzically.
"Zach, is he what you want?" She looks stunned staring at me unbelievably.
"Yeah. Of course, you know that. Jesus John. Its over, I don't know what is over, because we haven't had anything in over a year, we are threw okay, whatever little thing you made up in your mind about us, end it. End it now. Because its not possible." She drops the needle on the table and leaves the room, maybe she is right, we don't need each other. I pull myself off of the bed, walking out into the admit desk area, where she is currently rifling threw charts. "Abby-" Weaver screeches from behind me, I look over my shoulder and watch as she approaches Abby angrily, she glances at me, then back at Abby. "You were late." Weave screeches.
"Yeah, I'm sorry Dr. Weaver, but my boyfriend and I just had a falling-"
"No." Weaver hollers, "I don't care about what happens at home, I want you here when your shift starts. You building could be burning down and I still won't care." Kerry bitches at Abby, as I make my way behind them to look at the chart, Weaver whips around looking at me. "And you. What the hell happened? You look like hell."
"Thanks for the compliment Kerry." I sass, she rolls her eyes at me, turning back to Abby, giving her an evil stare then back at me. "I don't know what the hell is going on in your private lives, but once it starts to effect your work it becomes my problem too, and as much as I'd hate for that to happen it unfortunately has, Abby your on my list, Carter get your ass in the lounge." She limps off to the lounge as I follow looking quickly at Abby.
I push the door to the lounge open, Weaver is at the coffee machine, "what the hell happened to you?" She spits at me.
"Uh- just a little out of work confrontation." I scratch the back of my head, watching as she pours herself a cup of coffee. "Yeah well, are you okay?" Her face is a little bit softer then earlier. "Yeah, I'm fine." She nods, leaving the lounge, I follow her out, seeing a person I hoped I would never see again on the way to admit. "Excuse me-" He asks Kerry, completely avoiding me, Kerry ignores him walking off towards the elevator. I make my way around the desk, as Frank plays around on the computer, moving away from Zach, that man really likes avoiding doing his job. I walk over to Zach attempting to be polite, "she's in with a patient." I grab a chart flipping through it, trying my best to look inconspicuous, but failing miserably. "Don't fucking talk to me." He spits under his breath, our eyes meet briefly, I am glad he doesn't know about our exam room encounter, as small as it was, I'm sure it would be enough to send him flying over the counter and rip my heart from my chest. "Carter-" I look behind me, Frank holds out the phone looking annoyed. "What?" I ask tiredly, I can still feel Zach eyes bore through me.
"Your girlfriend is on the phone. Something about your son- I don't know or care." I turn around, Zach laughs bitterly, "Unfucking believable." He mutters, I guess he was not aware I had Kem and Kassim. "Hey." I say into the phone, trying to sound nonchalant, he stares at me as I talk to Kem. "How are you?" She asks in her accented voice.
"Good. I miss you." I can tell by her voice that she is smiling through the phone.
"I miss you too, when are you coming home?" She sighs tiredly, I know she misses me, but she has yet to know about my escapade last night, I don't know if she would react in the same manner as Zach did, but I do know that she will be hurt. "Soon." Silence fills the phone as we listen to each other breath. "I miss you John, please come home soon." She begs, "Kassim misses you too." I look around the hospital, seeing Abby depart from a nearby exam room, she catches Zach's eye too, causing him to remove his watchful eye from me and rush over to her side. I watch as he hands her, her cell phone, explaining something to her, I am not very good at lip reading, but I manage to pick up that he got called into work and that they will talk tomorrow. He asks her if she is okay. His eyes drift over to me, knowing I am watching, I look down immediately. "Anyways baby, I have got to go. I will call you tonight."
"Love you John."
"Yeah you too." I hang up the phone, turning back to watching Abby and Zach interact as my heart slowly breaks. I don't know why I am suddenly hooked on her again, it has been so long, maybe because she has proven herself to be the women I have always wanted, how come she can be that for someone else and not me? Does Zach fulfill her in a way that I can not? He pulls her into a hug, I can tell he has yet to forgive her for audultry, but he will try, even if it is just to spite me. Two days ago I didn't even know this guys name, now he is my arch nemesis or at least I am his. I know that once I go back to Africa, upon Abby's request, I will no longer think of Abby or Zach, out of sight, out of mind. But while I am here, they are all I seem to be thinking about. Zach turns around walking out of the hospital, he turns around once more to smile at a beaming Abby, I have no clue what he aid to her, but he mad her happy, when all I seem to do is make her miserable. Kerry walks by me once more, and I decide to follow. "Kerry." I call chasing after her, drawing the attention of many patients. "John, what can I do for you?" She stops looking at me somewhat annoyed, "I am going back to Africa sooner then expected." I say breathlessly.
"When?" She starts to walk again, making me follow her. I am not sure, when would be the soonest I could go, tomorrow probably. "Uh tomorrow." She stops dead in her tracks.
"John- You were suppose to be here for two more weeks at least." She looks pissed, can I blame her. No, the only person to blame is myself. "I'm sorry, but there is a problem back home that I need to take care of." I fib, she nods understanding somewhat. Since Henry was born she seems to be a little more understanding with family matters. "Okay, fine. Call when you are coming back." I watch as she walks away, is this really a good idea? Well it is for the best.