Chapter Seven: Cuddle-Chimp, Radish-Sprout, And Pee-Wee
Two days later…
"Vegeta, do I really have to wear this stuff?"
"For the last time, Reccoom, YES! There is the evening gown segment and the swimwear segment, and it is clearly stated in the rules that contestant must wear both an evening gown and a swimsuit!"
"Well, Vegeta, I'm actually okay with that, believe me, but…"
"But what?"
"I'm not sure about these clothes that you picked out for me."
"Reccoom, do you know how hard it is to find an evening gown in a size one-hundred-and-twenty-five wide? It was even harder than that to find a girdle in that same size…I had to bribe Jaden to swipe Dodoria's…so, after the week after the contest is over, I have to take her to this restaurant on planet Ice for that all-the-chili-cheeseburgers-that-you-can-eat special…which will cost me almost half my next pay…she's the only woman I know who can eat more than me."
"Vegeta and Jaden are going on a date!" Reccoom taunted in a singsong voice from his bathroom where he was trying on the clothes that Vegeta had brought for him. "Gee, Vegeta, I always thought you two would make a cute couple! But then, you always did have a thing for older women, didn't ya? First Diamonique, then Jaden…you sure know how to pick them!"
"Did I ask for your opinion?" an embarrassed Vegeta hissed. "I don't recall the request coming forth from my mouth!"
Reccoom ignored him, singing merrily, "Vegeta and Jaden sitting in a tree-F-U-C-"
"RECCOOM, DO YOU WANT TO WIN THIS CONTEST OR NOT?"
"You know I do!"
"Then shut the hell up about my choice of women, or I'll insist that Nappa and Raditz pick another winner! And I won't buy you any more chili cheeseburgers!"
Reccoom was strangely subdued. Normally, Vegeta couldn't have intimidated him, but Reccoom didn't want to lose the beauty contest-and any more of the chili cheeseburgers that Vegeta had been buying him. "Um…sure thing, Vegeta."
Vegeta took several deep breaths; Reccoom was using up the Saiyan prince's limited amount of patience. "Fine, whatever, just come out and let me see what you look like."
"Sure thing, Vegeta, but these clothes do feel awfully tight."
"If a certain Ginyu Force member would cut down on the amount of burgers he consumed, he wouldn't have that problem."
"Which one are you talking about?"
"Never mind! Just come out!"
"O…kay," Reccoom said hesitantly, as he slowly stepped out into his bedroom, where Vegeta was impatiently sitting on Reccoom's emperor-sized bed. Vegeta's pointed jaw dropped the moment he saw his contestant, and his angular eyes bulged out, trying to escape their sockets.
Reccoom chuckled, "Am I that dazzling? Do I look that good?" He twirled around the best that he could in his tight clothes. "These colors suit me, I think; Eclipse told me so at one time."
"Oh, she did, did she?" Vegeta asked exasperatedly, slapping his forehead hard. "And did Eclipse also tell you that you don't wear a swimsuit, a girdle, and an evening gown all at the same time?"
Reccoom blushed, for indeed, he had put on Dodoria's white satin girdle first, then the navy blue, one-piece, swimsuit, and then on top, he had added the black, velvet, lacy evening gown with puffed sleeves. The gown had a plunging neckline, so Vegeta could see the swimsuit, and from the way that Reccoom's figure was suddenly slimmer, he could tell that his contestant was wearing the girdle. He sighed heavily; he had tried to convince Frieza to let Reccoom wear more masculine clothing, but Frieza, who was still annoyed with Vegeta over the Cypress incident, had sweetly replied that if Reccoom wanted to enter the beauty contest, he had to follow the same rules as everyone else. Vegeta was still incensed about that moment.
"So…I'm not supposed to wear any of this stuff at the same time?" Reccoom asked hesitantly.
Vegeta's tail bristled, and his eyes narrowed, and the entire room would shake when he replied:
"OF COURSE NOT!"
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And an extremely agonizing two hours later…
"Does everyone like my new dress?" a-well-on-his-way-to-being-drunk-soon-Reccoom asked his other Ginyu Force members, Jaden, Chestra, and Tipsy the bartender who were all gathered around the bar in the Elite Lounge And Bar. Dodoria, already inebriated, had been with them before Reccoom and Vegeta had shown up, but he had gone to the men's room after consuming a good number of Crystal Blue Persuasions.
Vegeta was standing in a dark corner, far, far away, where he hoped that no one would notice him. He had desperately tried to talk Reccoom out of not wearing the dress again until the beauty contest (actually Vegeta had demanded it), but Reccoom was adamant on making a complete fool of himself. He thought that perhaps Reccoom was getting a little TOO fond of women's clothing.
"Well…the color suits you," a not-quite-drunk-yet-Jeice replied hesitantly. "And it is a nice dress."
"I've always wanted to dress in drag!" an already-very-much-drunk-Ginyu admitted. "I wish just for once that I could wear pretty clothes and high heels!"
"Umm, Ginyu, didn't you get to pursue that dream seven years ago…remember that year's Biannual Fair And Staff Meeting…does that bet you had with Balair sound familiar? When you two had to dress in drag because neither one of you got to be with Chestra?" an about-to-be-drunk-Jaden pointed out.
"Hehheh, thanks for remindin' me, Jade! Ah, Balair actually wasn't too bad a kisser, either! Ah, Chestra, any regrets about not pickin' me?"
"All that's in the past now, Ginyu," a still-completely-sober-Chestra replied hesitantly.
Reccoom, now fully drunk, grinned, saying, "Vegeta found this dress for me. He also got Jaden to steal Dodoria's girdle for me. By the way, does everyone know that Jaden and Vegeta are goin' out on a date together after the beauty contest is over?"
Vegeta tore away from his dark corner at that very moment to confront his entrant, and a mortified Jaden was quickly debating on who to annihilate first: Reccoom-or Vegeta!
"Jaden has a boyfriend!" Guido teased.
"And a monkey boyfriend too!" Baata added.
"I knew Jaden sort of…favored…Vegeta, but I didn't think she liked him that much to date him!" Jeice joked.
"The younger the better!" Ginyu yelled delightedly, raising his empty shot glass.
"Guys, come on, that's more than enough," Chestra ordered them sternly, but the intoxicated Ginyu Force members paid her no mind.
"There ain't nothin' wrong with older woman/younger man relationships, ain't there, fellas?" Reccoom jested.
"And no harm with Jaden datin' a monkey!" Jeice declared.
A drunken Dodoria then came back to the bar and without waiting for an invitation, heaved his massive bulk upon onto a bar stool next to Reccoom. He demanded an eighth Crystal Blue Persuasion from Tipsy, who reluctantly, but hurriedly, provided it to him.
Dodoria asked in a garbled voice, "What's this I just heard about Jaden going out on a date? Who'd want to date her?"
"Vegeta!" all the Ginyu Force members chorused. Fortunately, no one mentioned Dodoria's missing girdle.
"He's takin' Jaden out on a dinner date for chili cheeseburgers!" Ginyu added.
"It's not a date!" Jaden shouted, trying to save her face and her reputation. "It's a business arrangement! I fulfilled my end of our deal, now Vegeta has to fulfill his. He's just taking me out for an all-you-can-eat-chili-cheeseburger special on planet Ice."
"Ah, nothing like bondin' over chili cheeseburgers! Vegeta's one clever monkey!" a besotted Baata slurred.
"Bondin!" Dodoria exclaimed. "Next thing we all know, we're going to find a bite mark on Jaden's neck!" He and the inebriated Ginyu Force members laughed loudly.
Jaden roared, baring her claws at Dodoria. "Dodoria, you're going to find claw marks on your neck, if you don't shut the hell up!"
Chestra took her arm quickly. She was the only one out of the Top Elites who dared to ever try to calm down Jaden when she was drunk-and the only one that Jaden wouldn't retaliate against for doing so. Everyone else stayed well out of Jaden's way when she was both angry and intoxicated-which, thankfully, was not a frequent occurrence. A drunken Jaden could be handled (for normally then, Jaden was actually more relaxed), and yes, even an angry Jaden could be handled occasionally, but a drunk-and-furious Jaden was a situation that even Frieza was hesitant to get too near.
"Jaden, come on, it's okay," Chestra said consolingly.
"Look, Jade, we were just kiddin'!" Ginyu said with a nervous smile.
"Yeah, well, I'm not! Vegeta and I are NOT dating, is that clear?"
"Sure thing, Jade, sure thing," Baata said, trying to appease her.
"Take a deep breath, Jaden," Chestra told her friend, and Jaden finally did-and also retracted her claws.
Vegeta glared angrily at Reccoom, who had the good grace to look away and be ashamed. Unfortunately, Dodoria didn't, and he unwisely decided to join in on the earlier teasing by mouthing the words, "Vegeta and Jaden sitting in a tree-F-U-"
Vegeta had flung himself into Dodoria's lap and seized him by his neck. "You want to sing that out loud, blubberbutt!"
Dodoria wasted no time in seizing Vegeta's collar. "You bet I do, Monkey Prince! I know she has no luck with men, but even she can do better than you! Don't know what Jaden sees in you anyway!"
"Well, you're going to see in me your one-way-ticket to hell!" Vegeta threw a hard punch directly into Dodoria's face with his free fist.
"Stop it, you two!" Chestra cried.
"Fight, fight, fight!" the Ginyu Force members cheered, pumping their fists up and down.
"Knock him dead, Vegeta!" Jaden yelled encouragingly.
"Please, Prince Vegeta, Commander Dodoria, there is no need for this!" Tipsy pleaded in vain.
Dodoria retaliated by throwing himself upon Vegeta, but Vegeta dodged his opponent's immense weight in time, and the two men began kicking and punching each other furiously. Vegeta slammed his fist into Dodoria's nose while Dodoria smashed his fist into Vegeta's stomach. Dodoria then kicked Vegeta's feet out from under him, but Vegeta regained his footing before he fell. He then flew into the air and sent himself crashing into Dodoria's blubbery body, knocking him to the floor. For the next ten minutes, the two warriors wrestled and punched and thrashed and kicked at each other.
While Vegeta and Dodoria were warring, the patrons of the Elite Lounge And Bar began taking bets on who would win. At first, most bets were for Dodoria, but as Vegeta continued to hold up well, more and more people started rooting for the Saiyan prince. The shouts for both Dodoria and Vegeta were growing louder and louder.
"Go, Vegeta, strip him of his blubber!"
"Get him, Commander Dodoria, show that monkey who's boss!"
"Knock Blubberballs off of his throne, Vegeta!"
"Commander Dodoria, you're the best!"
"Hell, if he is! That monkey prince is knocking the fat cells out of him!"
"That's a lot of fat cells to knock out!"
"Go, Prince Vegeta!"
"Go, Commander Dodoria!"
"VEGETA, VEGETA!"
"DODORIA, DODORIA!"
"Burn away his fat, Vegeta!" Jaden ordered. "Remember everything I taught you!"
"Put that monkey in his place!" Guido insisted.
By now, Vegeta and Dodoria were bruised and bloody. Vegeta's left eye was swollen, his mouth was bleeding, and his ribs were aching. Dodoria currently had two black eyes, a bloody nose, and bruises all along his bulging arms. Dodoria and Vegeta were now levitating across from each other with their fists clenched, meeting each other eye to eye, even though Vegeta was much shorter.
"Ready to give up yet, monkey?" Dodoria jeered.
"Only when you're in hell with your boyfriend, Balair!" Vegeta replied with an evil smile. "Maybe Ginyu was telling the truth when he said that Balair was a great kisser-you would know about that better than anyone, wouldn't you?"
"YOU'RE GONNA DIE, MONKEY!" Dodoria growled, as he threw his entire weight against Vegeta, knocking him to the floor. But before Vegeta could rise and recover, Dodoria crashed his titanic body into him. Pinning Vegeta beneath him, he taunted, "Tell you what, monkey prince: I'll let you kiss your girlfriend, Jaden, 'fore you perish! You two actually make a good couple-though the thought of Prince Ugly bumpin' uglies with Miss Uglier makes me wanna puke! But then, maybe I should let you live to have the pleasure of screwing Jaden-after all, you're the only one besides my trainer, Sagash, who ever found her worth touchin'. Can understand Jaden's desperation though-after all, even she knows that only a monkey would want to screw an old, revolting, used screw toy like her who-"
His words were cut off with Vegeta's powerful fist crashing into his mouth. The pain was so immense that Dodoria was forced to fall back, and Vegeta used that chance to free a foot and kick Dodoria hard in his metal covered stomach. Vegeta's foot shoved the metal into Dodoria's pudgy abdomen. He quickly rolled out from under his opponent before Dodoria could recapture him. Dodoria then raised the stakes when he fired a small hand blast at Vegeta, which Vegeta easily dodged. Vegeta then shot a hand blast himself straight at Dodoria's face, a blast that temporarily blinded the pink beast. He then used Dodoria's helplessness to shove him to the floor, where he repeatedly punched him in his face.
"Take that, fatso!" Vegeta yelled, hitting Dodoria again and again. "You dare to insult both Jaden and myself, and what we do in our spare time is none of your business! You put Jaden down, but it sounds like to me that you're a little angry because she'd never be willing to be seen in public with you the way she is with me! Jealous, are you, Dodo? Have a little liking for Jaden yourself, perhaps, even though you know she'd never want you?"
"You're gonna die, monkey boy!" Dodoria screamed, and then he took a deep breath, deciding to use a mouth blast on his Saiyan opponent to burn him away. But before he could proceed, he and Vegeta both heard Frieza's angry voice:
"DODORIA AND VEGETA! STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY, OR I'LL DISINTEGRATE YOU BOTH! BREAK IT UP NOW!"
"Aw, don't make 'em stop, sire!" Ginyu protested drunkenly. "The fight was just getting good!"
"Yeah!" Jaden added in a voice between a shout and a slur. "Vegeta's doing you a favor by losing one-hundred-and-eighty ugly tons! All he has to do is ship Dodo off to hell!"
But Dodoria and Vegeta wisely, albeit reluctantly, broke up their fight, and the two men backed away from each other, glaring at each other hatefully. Frieza was glowering at them with his arms crossed.
"I want to see you two in my office-IMMEDIATELY!" he ordered them crossly.
"Yes, sire," Dodoria, ashamed, muttered. He was ashamed of being caught, not because he had fought with Vegeta.
"Whatever you say, Lord Frieza," Vegeta acquiesced sulkily.
Frieza addressed Tipsy directly, "Tipsy, if any of those officers at the bar had had more than four drinks, those officers are to have no more alcohol today, is that clear?"
"Yes, of course, Lord Frieza," Tipsy said in a low tone. Ginyu, Reccoom, and Jaden groaned in disappointment, but Chestra was relieved.
"Dodoria and Vegeta, let's go!" Frieza hissed at his Elite officers.
"Yes, sire," replied two unhappy warriors.
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And yet another two hours later…
Chestra saw Jaden safely to her room and into Jaden's large, soft bed. She tucked her best friend under the covers, as if she were Jaden's mother. Jaden had sobered a bit by then, and she was able to speak more coherently. She made Chestra reiterate the main points of Dodoria and Vegeta's fight to her.
"It was scary, but sweet in a way," Chestra told Jaden with a small smile. "Vegeta actually defended your honor."
"Yeah, he did, didn't he? I do remember that part," Jaden said with a lazy grin. "Never had a man fight for me before. Yeah, it was kind of nice, even though Vegeta did start fighting Dodoria primarily to defend his own name and reputation. Chestra, when you leave, will you send him flowers for me to thank him?"
"Umm…you probably should make your thanks more edible," Chestra suggested to her still somewhat inebriated friend. If Jaden had been fully sober, she would have never proposed sending flowers to anyone, let alone Vegeta; if Chestra carried out Jaden's drunken wish, Jaden would never forgive her for it later. "Something like chocolate or meat…better meat…chocolate or flowers would not help matters for you two any."
"Steaks," Jaden insisted. "Send him lots and lots of steaks in my name."
"Will do," Chestra promised. "Now get some sleep."
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And yes, yet another two hours later…
Tipsy had hesitantly agreed to let Vegeta and the other Saiyans make use of the Elite Lounge And Bar's kitchen for frying up two dozen frozen steaks that had arrived from Jaden on rush delivery. When Nappa, Raditz, and Journa had asked him why Jaden sent him twenty-four huge steaks, Vegeta had snapped at them, telling them not to question their good fortune and just enjoy the food. His comrades and sister shut up after that, for Jaden had sent some good quality meats.
Eclipse was also with them, and she was helping to prepare and season the steaks. Nappa's tail suggestively caressed her buttocks, as he flipped the steaks that he was frying. His naughty tail then rubbed up and down her body seductively. Even though he knew that he was likely going to die after the beauty contest, Nappa, like Raditz, had decided to enjoy his last days as much as possible.
The tip of Nappa's tail then tickled Eclipse's sensitive stomach. "Stop, cuddle-chimp!" she squealed. "I'm going to drop these steaks, if you keep that doing that!"
"Shhh, Eclipse!" Nappa groaned in embarrassed protest at his mate's special pet name for him. His face turned red when he heard the snickers of three Saiyans behind him.
"Cuddle-chimp?" Raditz mocked.
"Hey, Cuddle-chimp, hurry up with our steaks!" Journa ordered.
"Yeah, Cuddle-chimp, we're starving!" Vegeta insisted with a grin.
"Oops," Eclipse said, looking ashamedly at Nappa. "I'm sorry."
"No problem, Eclipse. What you call me is no worse than what Journa calls Raditz when they're alone."
"Ooh, what does she call him?" Eclipse asked excitedly.
"You don't know what she calls me, Cuddle-chimp, so now finish our steaks!" Raditz yelled.
"Whatever you say, Radish-sprout!" Nappa replied cheerfully.
"Radish-sprout?" Vegeta jeered at Raditz. "That's what my sister calls you?"
Nappa laughed. "Yup! Heard Raditz blurt it out in his sleep during our last mission we were on! Wasn't going to embarrass him with it, but since he insisted on teasing me…ah, what goes around comes around!"
"I'm glad that you and Raditz didn't take it too hard about having to judge the contest again," Eclipse said softly.
Nappa and Raditz grew quiet then. Neither they nor Vegeta had told Journa or Eclipse yet about Coola and King Cold's threats. Vegeta promised them that he would find a way to get them out of the bind they were in with Frieza's relatives, if he had to go to Frieza. And all they had to do was declare Reccoom as the winner of the beauty contest. Nappa and Raditz all too willingly agreed, not caring at this point whom they picked for Miss Frieza.
Suddenly, Eyelet, the purple housefly who was Tipsy's best friend as well as his restaurant employee, flew in and declared in her squeaky voice, "Prince Vegeta? There's a woman named Cypress here to meet you. Said she wanted to talk to you for a few mins."
Vegeta grinned. "I'll be right there." He sauntered away behind Eyelet out to the front of the bar.
When he was safely out of earshot, Eclipse asked, "Okay, so we know Raditz and Nappa's pet names, but does Vegeta have one?"
Journa, Raditz, and Nappa smiled devilishly at each other.
"We'll tell you," Journa said wickedly. "But you can't tell Vegeta you know because he'll have our tails, if you do."
"Secret's safe with me," Eclipse said with a giggle.
Raditz chuckled. "And it's not really a pet name, more like an insult…but a funny one."
"Yeah, and when your cousin, Diamonique, used it for Vegeta, it really got to him. Ever since then, before they both broke up, she would call him…" Nappa whispered it into Eclipse's ear, and Eclipse giggled.
But Nappa's whisper was loud enough for a certain housefly flying nearby to overhear, and she had a hard time trying to keep from laughing, as she flew off to tell Tipsy this new tidbit.
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"So, Cypress, how long do you plan to stay?" Vegeta asked smoothly with his sexy smirk.
"Oh, for not for long. Once, the contest is over, I have to go back to work," Cypress said in her deep, reverberating voice.
"Aw, poor woman," Vegeta crooned. "Well, could we perhaps spend a little time together before you have to go back to King Cold?"
Cypress ran slender fingers through her wavy, ruddy hair. "Oh, I wish I could say yes, Prince Vegeta, but I can't. But perhaps we could meet for drinks before the contest?"
"Sure, why not?" Vegeta replied, keeping his smirk. "Well, you could also join us for some steaks, if you'd like."
"I'd love to, Prince, but I have a prior engagement, I'm afraid. And, if I don't go now, I'll be late, so I have to run. But I'll see you around." Cypress threw Vegeta a melting smile, and Vegeta's head filled with all sorts of ideas on how he could get her alone sometime for at least an hour…in a nice, dark place where no one could bother them.
She leaned over, with her sensual, full lips almost touching Vegeta's ear, and whispered, "Farewell, my prince. You will definitely see me in the contest, so cheer for me, hmm? Even if it's only for first runner-up?"
"Sure thing," Vegeta promised her. "Well, I better get back to my meal. See you later, Cypress. Don't forget about me…as if any woman could!"
Cypress tossed her hair like a filly. Vegeta definitely did not lack on self-confidence. "I won't, Prince, farewell!" And she slid away from the bar and him. Vegeta slowly walked back to the kitchen, and Cypress watched him leave out of the corner of her eye, as she neared the door.
When Vegeta was back in the kitchen, Tipsy and Eyelet came out from behind the bar, and Cypress could hear Eyelet whisper to Tipsy in a giggle, "There went Prince Pee-Wee!"
"Shhh!" Tipsy admonished her, although he himself could not refrain from laughing. "If Prince Vegeta were to find out that we knew Commander Diamonique's insult for him, our lives wouldn't be worth a drop of Crystal Blue! Actually, my friend, I already knew Commander Diamonique had dubbed him that; she blurted it out a while back when she had too much to drink."
Cypress quickly dashed out into the corridor in front of the bar before bursting out into loud, raucous laughter. How could she not have known that fact about Vegeta?
She smiled a smile that held a note of benevolence and a note of mockery when she whispered in the direction of the restaurant kitchen:
"Farewell, Prince Pee-Wee!"
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A/N: Hehheh, Pee-Wee! *looks around to make sure that Vegeta's not listening* Anyway, the contest is finally coming up, next chapter perhaps. I know that I have better and more popular stories, and that this one's not getting a lot of attention, but I feel like I could almost finish this story the fastest. Actually, it's really only a few chapters away from being completed. And then, once this one's out of the way, I can concentrate more on my other works.
But this story's not too bad! Really, it's not! I do want to thank those of you who have taken the time to read this story, especially, if you've reviewed it or emailed me about it. I do appreciate what attention it's received. But still, please let me know what you think of it, as this story will soon be coming to a close...thanks in advance!
And I do appreciate and thank everyone who has ever reviewed any one of my works, emailed me about them, let me know what they think. =) So a big thank-you to the readers of ALL my works! Every little bit of encouragement helps.
Two days later…
"Vegeta, do I really have to wear this stuff?"
"For the last time, Reccoom, YES! There is the evening gown segment and the swimwear segment, and it is clearly stated in the rules that contestant must wear both an evening gown and a swimsuit!"
"Well, Vegeta, I'm actually okay with that, believe me, but…"
"But what?"
"I'm not sure about these clothes that you picked out for me."
"Reccoom, do you know how hard it is to find an evening gown in a size one-hundred-and-twenty-five wide? It was even harder than that to find a girdle in that same size…I had to bribe Jaden to swipe Dodoria's…so, after the week after the contest is over, I have to take her to this restaurant on planet Ice for that all-the-chili-cheeseburgers-that-you-can-eat special…which will cost me almost half my next pay…she's the only woman I know who can eat more than me."
"Vegeta and Jaden are going on a date!" Reccoom taunted in a singsong voice from his bathroom where he was trying on the clothes that Vegeta had brought for him. "Gee, Vegeta, I always thought you two would make a cute couple! But then, you always did have a thing for older women, didn't ya? First Diamonique, then Jaden…you sure know how to pick them!"
"Did I ask for your opinion?" an embarrassed Vegeta hissed. "I don't recall the request coming forth from my mouth!"
Reccoom ignored him, singing merrily, "Vegeta and Jaden sitting in a tree-F-U-C-"
"RECCOOM, DO YOU WANT TO WIN THIS CONTEST OR NOT?"
"You know I do!"
"Then shut the hell up about my choice of women, or I'll insist that Nappa and Raditz pick another winner! And I won't buy you any more chili cheeseburgers!"
Reccoom was strangely subdued. Normally, Vegeta couldn't have intimidated him, but Reccoom didn't want to lose the beauty contest-and any more of the chili cheeseburgers that Vegeta had been buying him. "Um…sure thing, Vegeta."
Vegeta took several deep breaths; Reccoom was using up the Saiyan prince's limited amount of patience. "Fine, whatever, just come out and let me see what you look like."
"Sure thing, Vegeta, but these clothes do feel awfully tight."
"If a certain Ginyu Force member would cut down on the amount of burgers he consumed, he wouldn't have that problem."
"Which one are you talking about?"
"Never mind! Just come out!"
"O…kay," Reccoom said hesitantly, as he slowly stepped out into his bedroom, where Vegeta was impatiently sitting on Reccoom's emperor-sized bed. Vegeta's pointed jaw dropped the moment he saw his contestant, and his angular eyes bulged out, trying to escape their sockets.
Reccoom chuckled, "Am I that dazzling? Do I look that good?" He twirled around the best that he could in his tight clothes. "These colors suit me, I think; Eclipse told me so at one time."
"Oh, she did, did she?" Vegeta asked exasperatedly, slapping his forehead hard. "And did Eclipse also tell you that you don't wear a swimsuit, a girdle, and an evening gown all at the same time?"
Reccoom blushed, for indeed, he had put on Dodoria's white satin girdle first, then the navy blue, one-piece, swimsuit, and then on top, he had added the black, velvet, lacy evening gown with puffed sleeves. The gown had a plunging neckline, so Vegeta could see the swimsuit, and from the way that Reccoom's figure was suddenly slimmer, he could tell that his contestant was wearing the girdle. He sighed heavily; he had tried to convince Frieza to let Reccoom wear more masculine clothing, but Frieza, who was still annoyed with Vegeta over the Cypress incident, had sweetly replied that if Reccoom wanted to enter the beauty contest, he had to follow the same rules as everyone else. Vegeta was still incensed about that moment.
"So…I'm not supposed to wear any of this stuff at the same time?" Reccoom asked hesitantly.
Vegeta's tail bristled, and his eyes narrowed, and the entire room would shake when he replied:
"OF COURSE NOT!"
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And an extremely agonizing two hours later…
"Does everyone like my new dress?" a-well-on-his-way-to-being-drunk-soon-Reccoom asked his other Ginyu Force members, Jaden, Chestra, and Tipsy the bartender who were all gathered around the bar in the Elite Lounge And Bar. Dodoria, already inebriated, had been with them before Reccoom and Vegeta had shown up, but he had gone to the men's room after consuming a good number of Crystal Blue Persuasions.
Vegeta was standing in a dark corner, far, far away, where he hoped that no one would notice him. He had desperately tried to talk Reccoom out of not wearing the dress again until the beauty contest (actually Vegeta had demanded it), but Reccoom was adamant on making a complete fool of himself. He thought that perhaps Reccoom was getting a little TOO fond of women's clothing.
"Well…the color suits you," a not-quite-drunk-yet-Jeice replied hesitantly. "And it is a nice dress."
"I've always wanted to dress in drag!" an already-very-much-drunk-Ginyu admitted. "I wish just for once that I could wear pretty clothes and high heels!"
"Umm, Ginyu, didn't you get to pursue that dream seven years ago…remember that year's Biannual Fair And Staff Meeting…does that bet you had with Balair sound familiar? When you two had to dress in drag because neither one of you got to be with Chestra?" an about-to-be-drunk-Jaden pointed out.
"Hehheh, thanks for remindin' me, Jade! Ah, Balair actually wasn't too bad a kisser, either! Ah, Chestra, any regrets about not pickin' me?"
"All that's in the past now, Ginyu," a still-completely-sober-Chestra replied hesitantly.
Reccoom, now fully drunk, grinned, saying, "Vegeta found this dress for me. He also got Jaden to steal Dodoria's girdle for me. By the way, does everyone know that Jaden and Vegeta are goin' out on a date together after the beauty contest is over?"
Vegeta tore away from his dark corner at that very moment to confront his entrant, and a mortified Jaden was quickly debating on who to annihilate first: Reccoom-or Vegeta!
"Jaden has a boyfriend!" Guido teased.
"And a monkey boyfriend too!" Baata added.
"I knew Jaden sort of…favored…Vegeta, but I didn't think she liked him that much to date him!" Jeice joked.
"The younger the better!" Ginyu yelled delightedly, raising his empty shot glass.
"Guys, come on, that's more than enough," Chestra ordered them sternly, but the intoxicated Ginyu Force members paid her no mind.
"There ain't nothin' wrong with older woman/younger man relationships, ain't there, fellas?" Reccoom jested.
"And no harm with Jaden datin' a monkey!" Jeice declared.
A drunken Dodoria then came back to the bar and without waiting for an invitation, heaved his massive bulk upon onto a bar stool next to Reccoom. He demanded an eighth Crystal Blue Persuasion from Tipsy, who reluctantly, but hurriedly, provided it to him.
Dodoria asked in a garbled voice, "What's this I just heard about Jaden going out on a date? Who'd want to date her?"
"Vegeta!" all the Ginyu Force members chorused. Fortunately, no one mentioned Dodoria's missing girdle.
"He's takin' Jaden out on a dinner date for chili cheeseburgers!" Ginyu added.
"It's not a date!" Jaden shouted, trying to save her face and her reputation. "It's a business arrangement! I fulfilled my end of our deal, now Vegeta has to fulfill his. He's just taking me out for an all-you-can-eat-chili-cheeseburger special on planet Ice."
"Ah, nothing like bondin' over chili cheeseburgers! Vegeta's one clever monkey!" a besotted Baata slurred.
"Bondin!" Dodoria exclaimed. "Next thing we all know, we're going to find a bite mark on Jaden's neck!" He and the inebriated Ginyu Force members laughed loudly.
Jaden roared, baring her claws at Dodoria. "Dodoria, you're going to find claw marks on your neck, if you don't shut the hell up!"
Chestra took her arm quickly. She was the only one out of the Top Elites who dared to ever try to calm down Jaden when she was drunk-and the only one that Jaden wouldn't retaliate against for doing so. Everyone else stayed well out of Jaden's way when she was both angry and intoxicated-which, thankfully, was not a frequent occurrence. A drunken Jaden could be handled (for normally then, Jaden was actually more relaxed), and yes, even an angry Jaden could be handled occasionally, but a drunk-and-furious Jaden was a situation that even Frieza was hesitant to get too near.
"Jaden, come on, it's okay," Chestra said consolingly.
"Look, Jade, we were just kiddin'!" Ginyu said with a nervous smile.
"Yeah, well, I'm not! Vegeta and I are NOT dating, is that clear?"
"Sure thing, Jade, sure thing," Baata said, trying to appease her.
"Take a deep breath, Jaden," Chestra told her friend, and Jaden finally did-and also retracted her claws.
Vegeta glared angrily at Reccoom, who had the good grace to look away and be ashamed. Unfortunately, Dodoria didn't, and he unwisely decided to join in on the earlier teasing by mouthing the words, "Vegeta and Jaden sitting in a tree-F-U-"
Vegeta had flung himself into Dodoria's lap and seized him by his neck. "You want to sing that out loud, blubberbutt!"
Dodoria wasted no time in seizing Vegeta's collar. "You bet I do, Monkey Prince! I know she has no luck with men, but even she can do better than you! Don't know what Jaden sees in you anyway!"
"Well, you're going to see in me your one-way-ticket to hell!" Vegeta threw a hard punch directly into Dodoria's face with his free fist.
"Stop it, you two!" Chestra cried.
"Fight, fight, fight!" the Ginyu Force members cheered, pumping their fists up and down.
"Knock him dead, Vegeta!" Jaden yelled encouragingly.
"Please, Prince Vegeta, Commander Dodoria, there is no need for this!" Tipsy pleaded in vain.
Dodoria retaliated by throwing himself upon Vegeta, but Vegeta dodged his opponent's immense weight in time, and the two men began kicking and punching each other furiously. Vegeta slammed his fist into Dodoria's nose while Dodoria smashed his fist into Vegeta's stomach. Dodoria then kicked Vegeta's feet out from under him, but Vegeta regained his footing before he fell. He then flew into the air and sent himself crashing into Dodoria's blubbery body, knocking him to the floor. For the next ten minutes, the two warriors wrestled and punched and thrashed and kicked at each other.
While Vegeta and Dodoria were warring, the patrons of the Elite Lounge And Bar began taking bets on who would win. At first, most bets were for Dodoria, but as Vegeta continued to hold up well, more and more people started rooting for the Saiyan prince. The shouts for both Dodoria and Vegeta were growing louder and louder.
"Go, Vegeta, strip him of his blubber!"
"Get him, Commander Dodoria, show that monkey who's boss!"
"Knock Blubberballs off of his throne, Vegeta!"
"Commander Dodoria, you're the best!"
"Hell, if he is! That monkey prince is knocking the fat cells out of him!"
"That's a lot of fat cells to knock out!"
"Go, Prince Vegeta!"
"Go, Commander Dodoria!"
"VEGETA, VEGETA!"
"DODORIA, DODORIA!"
"Burn away his fat, Vegeta!" Jaden ordered. "Remember everything I taught you!"
"Put that monkey in his place!" Guido insisted.
By now, Vegeta and Dodoria were bruised and bloody. Vegeta's left eye was swollen, his mouth was bleeding, and his ribs were aching. Dodoria currently had two black eyes, a bloody nose, and bruises all along his bulging arms. Dodoria and Vegeta were now levitating across from each other with their fists clenched, meeting each other eye to eye, even though Vegeta was much shorter.
"Ready to give up yet, monkey?" Dodoria jeered.
"Only when you're in hell with your boyfriend, Balair!" Vegeta replied with an evil smile. "Maybe Ginyu was telling the truth when he said that Balair was a great kisser-you would know about that better than anyone, wouldn't you?"
"YOU'RE GONNA DIE, MONKEY!" Dodoria growled, as he threw his entire weight against Vegeta, knocking him to the floor. But before Vegeta could rise and recover, Dodoria crashed his titanic body into him. Pinning Vegeta beneath him, he taunted, "Tell you what, monkey prince: I'll let you kiss your girlfriend, Jaden, 'fore you perish! You two actually make a good couple-though the thought of Prince Ugly bumpin' uglies with Miss Uglier makes me wanna puke! But then, maybe I should let you live to have the pleasure of screwing Jaden-after all, you're the only one besides my trainer, Sagash, who ever found her worth touchin'. Can understand Jaden's desperation though-after all, even she knows that only a monkey would want to screw an old, revolting, used screw toy like her who-"
His words were cut off with Vegeta's powerful fist crashing into his mouth. The pain was so immense that Dodoria was forced to fall back, and Vegeta used that chance to free a foot and kick Dodoria hard in his metal covered stomach. Vegeta's foot shoved the metal into Dodoria's pudgy abdomen. He quickly rolled out from under his opponent before Dodoria could recapture him. Dodoria then raised the stakes when he fired a small hand blast at Vegeta, which Vegeta easily dodged. Vegeta then shot a hand blast himself straight at Dodoria's face, a blast that temporarily blinded the pink beast. He then used Dodoria's helplessness to shove him to the floor, where he repeatedly punched him in his face.
"Take that, fatso!" Vegeta yelled, hitting Dodoria again and again. "You dare to insult both Jaden and myself, and what we do in our spare time is none of your business! You put Jaden down, but it sounds like to me that you're a little angry because she'd never be willing to be seen in public with you the way she is with me! Jealous, are you, Dodo? Have a little liking for Jaden yourself, perhaps, even though you know she'd never want you?"
"You're gonna die, monkey boy!" Dodoria screamed, and then he took a deep breath, deciding to use a mouth blast on his Saiyan opponent to burn him away. But before he could proceed, he and Vegeta both heard Frieza's angry voice:
"DODORIA AND VEGETA! STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY, OR I'LL DISINTEGRATE YOU BOTH! BREAK IT UP NOW!"
"Aw, don't make 'em stop, sire!" Ginyu protested drunkenly. "The fight was just getting good!"
"Yeah!" Jaden added in a voice between a shout and a slur. "Vegeta's doing you a favor by losing one-hundred-and-eighty ugly tons! All he has to do is ship Dodo off to hell!"
But Dodoria and Vegeta wisely, albeit reluctantly, broke up their fight, and the two men backed away from each other, glaring at each other hatefully. Frieza was glowering at them with his arms crossed.
"I want to see you two in my office-IMMEDIATELY!" he ordered them crossly.
"Yes, sire," Dodoria, ashamed, muttered. He was ashamed of being caught, not because he had fought with Vegeta.
"Whatever you say, Lord Frieza," Vegeta acquiesced sulkily.
Frieza addressed Tipsy directly, "Tipsy, if any of those officers at the bar had had more than four drinks, those officers are to have no more alcohol today, is that clear?"
"Yes, of course, Lord Frieza," Tipsy said in a low tone. Ginyu, Reccoom, and Jaden groaned in disappointment, but Chestra was relieved.
"Dodoria and Vegeta, let's go!" Frieza hissed at his Elite officers.
"Yes, sire," replied two unhappy warriors.
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And yet another two hours later…
Chestra saw Jaden safely to her room and into Jaden's large, soft bed. She tucked her best friend under the covers, as if she were Jaden's mother. Jaden had sobered a bit by then, and she was able to speak more coherently. She made Chestra reiterate the main points of Dodoria and Vegeta's fight to her.
"It was scary, but sweet in a way," Chestra told Jaden with a small smile. "Vegeta actually defended your honor."
"Yeah, he did, didn't he? I do remember that part," Jaden said with a lazy grin. "Never had a man fight for me before. Yeah, it was kind of nice, even though Vegeta did start fighting Dodoria primarily to defend his own name and reputation. Chestra, when you leave, will you send him flowers for me to thank him?"
"Umm…you probably should make your thanks more edible," Chestra suggested to her still somewhat inebriated friend. If Jaden had been fully sober, she would have never proposed sending flowers to anyone, let alone Vegeta; if Chestra carried out Jaden's drunken wish, Jaden would never forgive her for it later. "Something like chocolate or meat…better meat…chocolate or flowers would not help matters for you two any."
"Steaks," Jaden insisted. "Send him lots and lots of steaks in my name."
"Will do," Chestra promised. "Now get some sleep."
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And yes, yet another two hours later…
Tipsy had hesitantly agreed to let Vegeta and the other Saiyans make use of the Elite Lounge And Bar's kitchen for frying up two dozen frozen steaks that had arrived from Jaden on rush delivery. When Nappa, Raditz, and Journa had asked him why Jaden sent him twenty-four huge steaks, Vegeta had snapped at them, telling them not to question their good fortune and just enjoy the food. His comrades and sister shut up after that, for Jaden had sent some good quality meats.
Eclipse was also with them, and she was helping to prepare and season the steaks. Nappa's tail suggestively caressed her buttocks, as he flipped the steaks that he was frying. His naughty tail then rubbed up and down her body seductively. Even though he knew that he was likely going to die after the beauty contest, Nappa, like Raditz, had decided to enjoy his last days as much as possible.
The tip of Nappa's tail then tickled Eclipse's sensitive stomach. "Stop, cuddle-chimp!" she squealed. "I'm going to drop these steaks, if you keep that doing that!"
"Shhh, Eclipse!" Nappa groaned in embarrassed protest at his mate's special pet name for him. His face turned red when he heard the snickers of three Saiyans behind him.
"Cuddle-chimp?" Raditz mocked.
"Hey, Cuddle-chimp, hurry up with our steaks!" Journa ordered.
"Yeah, Cuddle-chimp, we're starving!" Vegeta insisted with a grin.
"Oops," Eclipse said, looking ashamedly at Nappa. "I'm sorry."
"No problem, Eclipse. What you call me is no worse than what Journa calls Raditz when they're alone."
"Ooh, what does she call him?" Eclipse asked excitedly.
"You don't know what she calls me, Cuddle-chimp, so now finish our steaks!" Raditz yelled.
"Whatever you say, Radish-sprout!" Nappa replied cheerfully.
"Radish-sprout?" Vegeta jeered at Raditz. "That's what my sister calls you?"
Nappa laughed. "Yup! Heard Raditz blurt it out in his sleep during our last mission we were on! Wasn't going to embarrass him with it, but since he insisted on teasing me…ah, what goes around comes around!"
"I'm glad that you and Raditz didn't take it too hard about having to judge the contest again," Eclipse said softly.
Nappa and Raditz grew quiet then. Neither they nor Vegeta had told Journa or Eclipse yet about Coola and King Cold's threats. Vegeta promised them that he would find a way to get them out of the bind they were in with Frieza's relatives, if he had to go to Frieza. And all they had to do was declare Reccoom as the winner of the beauty contest. Nappa and Raditz all too willingly agreed, not caring at this point whom they picked for Miss Frieza.
Suddenly, Eyelet, the purple housefly who was Tipsy's best friend as well as his restaurant employee, flew in and declared in her squeaky voice, "Prince Vegeta? There's a woman named Cypress here to meet you. Said she wanted to talk to you for a few mins."
Vegeta grinned. "I'll be right there." He sauntered away behind Eyelet out to the front of the bar.
When he was safely out of earshot, Eclipse asked, "Okay, so we know Raditz and Nappa's pet names, but does Vegeta have one?"
Journa, Raditz, and Nappa smiled devilishly at each other.
"We'll tell you," Journa said wickedly. "But you can't tell Vegeta you know because he'll have our tails, if you do."
"Secret's safe with me," Eclipse said with a giggle.
Raditz chuckled. "And it's not really a pet name, more like an insult…but a funny one."
"Yeah, and when your cousin, Diamonique, used it for Vegeta, it really got to him. Ever since then, before they both broke up, she would call him…" Nappa whispered it into Eclipse's ear, and Eclipse giggled.
But Nappa's whisper was loud enough for a certain housefly flying nearby to overhear, and she had a hard time trying to keep from laughing, as she flew off to tell Tipsy this new tidbit.
*************************************************************************************************
"So, Cypress, how long do you plan to stay?" Vegeta asked smoothly with his sexy smirk.
"Oh, for not for long. Once, the contest is over, I have to go back to work," Cypress said in her deep, reverberating voice.
"Aw, poor woman," Vegeta crooned. "Well, could we perhaps spend a little time together before you have to go back to King Cold?"
Cypress ran slender fingers through her wavy, ruddy hair. "Oh, I wish I could say yes, Prince Vegeta, but I can't. But perhaps we could meet for drinks before the contest?"
"Sure, why not?" Vegeta replied, keeping his smirk. "Well, you could also join us for some steaks, if you'd like."
"I'd love to, Prince, but I have a prior engagement, I'm afraid. And, if I don't go now, I'll be late, so I have to run. But I'll see you around." Cypress threw Vegeta a melting smile, and Vegeta's head filled with all sorts of ideas on how he could get her alone sometime for at least an hour…in a nice, dark place where no one could bother them.
She leaned over, with her sensual, full lips almost touching Vegeta's ear, and whispered, "Farewell, my prince. You will definitely see me in the contest, so cheer for me, hmm? Even if it's only for first runner-up?"
"Sure thing," Vegeta promised her. "Well, I better get back to my meal. See you later, Cypress. Don't forget about me…as if any woman could!"
Cypress tossed her hair like a filly. Vegeta definitely did not lack on self-confidence. "I won't, Prince, farewell!" And she slid away from the bar and him. Vegeta slowly walked back to the kitchen, and Cypress watched him leave out of the corner of her eye, as she neared the door.
When Vegeta was back in the kitchen, Tipsy and Eyelet came out from behind the bar, and Cypress could hear Eyelet whisper to Tipsy in a giggle, "There went Prince Pee-Wee!"
"Shhh!" Tipsy admonished her, although he himself could not refrain from laughing. "If Prince Vegeta were to find out that we knew Commander Diamonique's insult for him, our lives wouldn't be worth a drop of Crystal Blue! Actually, my friend, I already knew Commander Diamonique had dubbed him that; she blurted it out a while back when she had too much to drink."
Cypress quickly dashed out into the corridor in front of the bar before bursting out into loud, raucous laughter. How could she not have known that fact about Vegeta?
She smiled a smile that held a note of benevolence and a note of mockery when she whispered in the direction of the restaurant kitchen:
"Farewell, Prince Pee-Wee!"
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A/N: Hehheh, Pee-Wee! *looks around to make sure that Vegeta's not listening* Anyway, the contest is finally coming up, next chapter perhaps. I know that I have better and more popular stories, and that this one's not getting a lot of attention, but I feel like I could almost finish this story the fastest. Actually, it's really only a few chapters away from being completed. And then, once this one's out of the way, I can concentrate more on my other works.
But this story's not too bad! Really, it's not! I do want to thank those of you who have taken the time to read this story, especially, if you've reviewed it or emailed me about it. I do appreciate what attention it's received. But still, please let me know what you think of it, as this story will soon be coming to a close...thanks in advance!
And I do appreciate and thank everyone who has ever reviewed any one of my works, emailed me about them, let me know what they think. =) So a big thank-you to the readers of ALL my works! Every little bit of encouragement helps.