Chapter Eight: Judgment Day
"Eclipse, just how much longer is this going to take?" Vegeta asked Nappa's mate impatiently, as Eclipse added a few finishing touches to Reccoom's dress. Vegeta had summoned Eclipse, who had a talent for altering clothing and sewing, to come look at Reccoom's clothing for the beauty contest…the contest that was to happen TODAY. Nappa and Raditz had already left for the auditorium, as if they were headed to their own executions.
Wonderful, just wonderful. And with it being Frieza's birthday on top of everything else, this was going to be a very long day. Vegeta just hoped that Raditz and Nappa would follow through on his orders and make Reccoom the winner. He also hoped that Reccoom would be smart enough to keep his mouth shut about the plan until the contest was over.
He also hoped that his fellow Saiyans wouldn't ruin his plans. There was no way he was going to be Zarbon's flunky, especially if he had to wear one of Journa's nightgowns. Just having to wait on that pretty boy was going to be humiliating enough.
Eclipse replied sweetly, "Just a few more minutes, Prince Vegeta. I just have to make sure that Reccoom is not going to trip in this dress. It is a very beautiful dress that you've chosen for him, Prince."
"It should be, as much as my half of the bill cost for it." Reccoom had paid for the other half.
"Don't I look adorable?" Reccoom asked.
Eclipse replied cautiously, "Yes, Reccoom, the color and make does suit you."
"You look passable," Vegeta asserted. "Just make sure you do everything that I told you to do."
"Sure will, Vegeta, sure will!" Reccoom promised happily. "By the way, how are things between you and your girlfriend?"
"Girlfriend?" Vegeta asked suspiciously. "Are you referring to Cypress? She is not my girlfriend, only a prospect."
Reccoom chuckled. "Nah, although I've seen her around, and she is a babe! I meant Jaden, of course! I want all of the details afterwards. And I'll be checking her neck after the date too, to see if it's been left unmarked."
An infuriated Vegeta was about to launch himself at Reccoom when Eclipse spoke out, "No, Prince Vegeta, you'll ruin his dress!"
"Oh, fine!" Vegeta huffed, stopping himself very reluctantly. He glared at his contestant. "Reccoom, remind me to annihilate you later!"
"Sure thing, Vegeta," Reccoom responded cheerfully.
A knock was heard on Vegeta and Nappa's bedroom door then. "Who is it?" Vegeta demanded to know.
"It's Diamonique."
"Good for you," Vegeta replied. "Now go away."
"Vegeta, open this door! I have an important matter to discuss with you!"
"He's busy getting Reccoom ready for the beauty contest!" Eclipse replied.
"I'm not leaving until Vegeta opens this door," Diamonique insisted through the door.
"Well, then you'll be an old lady by the time that happens," Vegeta replied serenely. "Not that you're that young now. The rash and blisters on your face don't help matters much either."
An angry kick and few angry punches were heard on the other side of the door afterwards. "Perhaps you should give her a moment," Eclipse suggested.
"No, I don't think so, Eclipse. I let your cousin live in the same atmosphere as me; the least thing she can do is leave me alone," Vegeta told her curtly.
"Fine, then," Diamonique called. "I need to speak to Eclipse for a moment anyway."
"I'll be just a moment, Prince Vegeta," Eclipse promised the agitated prince, as she pressed the button to open the door.
"What is it-" Eclipse was about to ask, but an indignant Diamonique pushed past her and marched directly into Vegeta's room. Vegeta and Reccoom visibly retched at the sight of her reddened, blistered face; Diamonique looked positively monstrous with her afflicted features, and her fury did not improve her looks any.
"Do you normally enter men's rooms without permission?" Vegeta snarled at his former lover.
"All the time," Reccoom cracked, and Diamonique glared at him before turning her full attention back on Vegeta.
"On occasions such as this, yes!" Diamonique fumed. "Vegeta, I heard a ghastly rumor about you going around, a simply horrid story! I heard that you and Jaden were going on a date! I know that can't be true."
Vegeta smirked. "Oh, yes it is true. I'm taking Jaden out for dinner." Normally, he would have stuck to the truth and insisted that the "date" was a business arrangement, but implying that he and Jaden were seeing each other was sure to annoy Diamonique. Perhaps he'd anger her enough to convince her to leave him alone for a few weeks.
"You and-JADEN? Why her?" Diamonique whined pathetically. "What does SHE have that I don't?"
Vegeta replied wickedly, "Less chance of giving me a sexually transmitted disease."
"You bastard!" Diamonique hissed. "I ought to slap you!"
"Do it then," Vegeta dared her, crossing his arms.
Before Diamonique could accept or refuse his challenge, her scouter beeped. "Diamonique," Frieza's voice said through her scouter, "I need to see you immediately."
"Yes, Lord Frieza," Diamonique replied grudgingly. After cutting off communication, she turned on her heel and away from Vegeta. "Vegeta, before I go, I want you to know how low your tastes have been running lately! Picking Reccoom to be a contestant, and then flirting with one of King Cold's soldiers-don't think I don't know about Cypress-and now, dating Jaden! You are cruel, Vegeta, cruel!"
"Thank you for the compliment," Vegeta answered with a grin.
Diamonique tossed her ice-blue pageboy. "Well, guess what, Prince-you're not the only one seeing that whore, Cypress! Frieza's got his eye on her too; in fact, he and Cypress had dinner a few nights ago-and a whole lot more than that."
The shocked expression on Vegeta's face temporarily satisfied Diamonique's lust for revenge. Eclipse and Reccoom looked at him with too much pity, something that Vegeta hated almost more than anything else.
"That's right, Vegeta. Cypress went to Frieza's dining room, and he wined and dined her. When Cypress left Frieza's room, she was grinning, just like I do when a man has pleased me. From the look on her face, Frieza had given her the time of her life. Of course, an opportunist like Cypress would want a man with power and position. Just thought I should tell you what your new fling has been up to. Ta-ta, Vegeta! I'll see you later! Oh, and make sure that Jaden isn't playing around on you too."
Vegeta replied coldly, "You have not fazed me at least, Diamonique. If Cypress wants to spread her legs for Frieza, that's her problem. I don't want Frieza's leftovers. Goodbye, and don't bother me again."
"Fine then…and, oh, Vegeta, I'm sorry, but I thought you had the right to know," Diamonique replied with unhidden malice in her voice. And with that, she opened the door and left, pleased that she had delivered a mortal blow to her ex-lover.
"Vegeta, I am-" Eclipse began, but Vegeta held out a hand to silence her.
"It matters nothing to me. I have more important things to do," he replied in such a stiff tone, but Eclipse and Reccoom could tell that he was hurt and trying to hide it. "I have no time for women anyway, especially since I have to get Reccoom through this contest. Eclipse, are you finished with him?"
"Yes, Prince," Eclipse replied quietly with her turquoise-framed head held down.
"Good. Then leave us. Reccoom and I have to go. Give my regards to Nappa when you see him, as I am sure that you will. Farewell."
"Goodbye, Vegeta, Reccoom," Eclipse said softly, as she pressed the button to open the door to leave.
When she left, two somber men remained, especially a Saiyan prince who was angry with himself, for feeling so betrayed because a woman he was starting to like had chosen his lizard-freak boss over him. Hiding his pain almost successfully with his usual nonchalance, he ordered Reccoom about, as they headed out the door.
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"So Cypress betrayed him?" Journa asked quizzically.
"Something like that," Eclipse told the only living female pureblooded Saiyan known to Frieza's army. She and Journa didn't normally gossip and talk like this, being that Journa, like her Saiyan comrades, was usually aloof to almost anyone who was not of Saiyan origin. However, she and Eclipse did get along fairly well whenever they did talk. And Eclipse had thought that Journa should know what was going on, in case Vegeta acted more caustic than even he normally did.
Journa's expression was clearly one of pity for her younger brother. As handsome and powerful as her crown prince brother was, he seemed to have little or no luck with women. Her brother needed a bonded mate, or at least a regular partner who would be faithful to him. He was better off without Cypress; that was for certain. Vegeta didn't need Frieza's leavings. She ran a masculine hand through her ruddy, unruly hair, while carelessly swinging a burgundy garment in her other hand. Eclipse noticed, and asked, "What's that in your hand, if you don't mind my asking?"
"Oh, just a swimsuit," Journa replied casually.
"Lord Frieza finally had the swimming pool fixed?" Eclipse questioned.
"Nah…I've been waiting for him to get around to doing that myself. But, this swimsuit is part of a surprise for Raditz."
"And what would that be?"
Journa chuckled. "He doesn't know it yet, but I am entering the beauty contest. Course I know that I can't win 'cause my mate's one of the judges, but it'll be fun, even if it does mean having to put up with the catcalls from the men in the audience."
Eclipse giggled. "I remember when I won the title of Miss Frieza three years ago. It was a real ego boost! You know what, Journa, I didn't mention this to Nappa, but I just entered too."
"Are you serious? Nappa's going to wet his pants when he finds out!"
Eclipse giggled some more. "Of course, I know that I'll have to drop out before the final judging, but it'll give Nappa a turn. He keeps saying that he wants to see me in a bikini, so he'll get an eyeful! This is going to be interesting!"
"Oh, yeah, I'm sure it will be," Journa agreed. "From the looks of things, this year's beauty contest is going to be like no other!"
Journa didn't know just how right she was.
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Frieza's dining room…
"You look exquisite," Coola commented to Karilyn. He was sitting at the dining room table with Frieza, King Cold, and Snowflake, his despised younger sister who was also a contestant in the Miss Frieza Beauty Contest. He didn't dare snub her openly for his father was present, along with King Cold's favorite wife, Lady Caldair.
"Why thank you, master!" Karilyn gushed.
"Turn around and let me have another look at you."
Karilyn obeyed, twirling about to show off a gold, glittery evening gown that she had chosen. Coola smiled with approval, and he felt himself become aroused by the way that the gown clung to his concubine's delicious curves.
"You will definitely win," Coola promised his paramour. "If not, I will personally see that the judges are castrated." He lightly patted her hip, and Karilyn laughed softly, asking to be excused to go freshen herself up in the restroom. Coola granted her permission, and she left.
"Don't tell me that you're going to harm my judges, Coola," Frieza told his brother frostily after Karilyn had disappeared into Frieza's private restroom.
Coola said breezily, "Relax, brother. I was just assuring my woman that she has every chance of winning your silly beauty contest. I don't understand honestly why she wants to go out among the oversexed perverts in your low-class army, but I don't see the harm of allowing her to do so just once. Of course, if any of your men touch her, you know what I will do to them."
"Like any of my men would want to handle your leavings!" Frieza retorted. "Believe me, my men have higher standards that your women could never meet."
"Really?" Coola asked his brother calmly. "Then why have I heard substantiated rumors that Rectaurus, Hectar, and a couple of the Ginyu Force members have been sneaking around with a few of my concubines? You and they know how I am about other men touching what is mine."
"My men have better sense than to touch any of your whores," Frieza snapped. He knew personally, that Coola's insinuations held truth, for, in the past, he had heard some of his Top Elite men bragging about their conquests with Coola's and King Cold's concubines and maids. Frieza honestly didn't care what his men did with Coola's women and King Cold's women, as long as they weren't stupid enough to get caught. His men had to satisfy their urges sometime, and Frieza wasn't about to allow any of his male soldiers near his women; all of his men knew well that there was no second chance for a soldier who bedded any of Frieza's paramours or concubines.
"My 'whores', as you call them, are of high quality; I only select the best young women for my harem," Coola told his younger brother loftily.
"I'm afraid that would be a mistake, brother, for the best young women happen to be in my collection."
"Ha! That will be the day!"
"Jealous, are you, Coola?"
"Gentlemen!" King Cold shouted, slamming his wine glass onto the table. "That is enough! Coola, this is Frieza's birthday today, so you can treat him with a little more respect than what you normally grant him. And Frieza, you do not need to bait your older brother every second!"
"He started it!" both brothers protested, pointing at each other.
Caldair and Snowflake sighed. Caldair lightly touched the newly curled, lavender tresses of her beautiful humanoid daughter's hair.
"You look lovely, my dear," Caldair assured her in a smooth, cultured voice, appropriate to someone of her rank. The half-Gemstarian, half-Cara Caldair was a tall, gracious woman with her red-and-gold hair, violet eyes, an unusually long neck from her Cara origins, and the crystal-blue teeth and poisonous diamond nails from her Gemstarian descent. She was King Cold's true love, his favorite out of the numerous women with which he surrounded himself.
"Thank you, Mummy," Snowflake replied sweetly. She smoothed down her shimmering sheath that clung to her tall, lithe body like a second skin.
Coola and Frieza snorted. They rarely acknowledged their young sister, mainly because they were both jealous of the affection and favors that their father granted her. Neither brother had wanted their father to sire any more children after them, but King Cold had brushed their demands aside and continued produce a new half-sibling for them every two-to-three years or so, thanks to either a wife or a concubine. Unfortunately, some of those half-siblings died from time to time when either Coola or Frieza would send their soldiers to surreptitiously assassinate their unwanted brothers and sisters. Both of them feared that their father would someday sire a child that would be more powerful than either of them and would try to take over the throne after King Cold's death.
"Yes, you are rather lovely," Coola commented serenely to his detested sister. "For a mixed-breed child, you look rather well. Of course, my Karilyn is such an exquisite female that I would hate for you to be hurt when you have to compete against her. I wouldn't want you to have a broken heart."
Caldair glared at him darkly, but Coola ignored her. He only paid nominal respect to his father's three wives, the three wives he had taken one after another when Queen Frost, Coola and Frieza's mother had died, but he dared not try anything against them. His father allowed no insults or threats to touch his favored women, particularly his Caldair.
Snowflake retorted, "And I wouldn't want you to have a broken tail when I-"
"Snowflake, please," Caldair pleaded.
"But, Mummy, he-"
"Please let your father handle this."
Snowflake sighed. "All right."
King Cold spoke harshly, "Coola, you will apologize for your remarks immediately, do you understand me? Your sister has done you no harm, and you treat her, as if she's no better than a slave. This childishly cruel behavior towards her is going to end, do I make myself clear?" He looked down at his oldest son with such ferocity that it fazed the normally self-assured Coola. Coola flinched and mumbled a hasty, stiff apology to Snowflake, who grudgingly accepted it. There was no love lost between Snowflake and her two oldest half-brothers.
Pointing at his brother, as if he were a five-year-old, Frieza mocked in a singsong tone, "Hahahahaha! Coola got in trouble!"
"Shut up, Freezy!" Coola roared, using Frieza's most hated nickname against him.
"Make me, Coo-Coo!" Frieza teased, before sticking his long, purple tongue out at him.
Snowflake shook her head at this. She hated being around her brothers, especially when they were together and made complete fools of themselves whenever they met. It was incredible how those two could revert back to children within less than a nanosecond.
"Oh, I'm not the one who's coo-coo," Coola said sweetly. "I've heard that a rumor that you and your ugly Rybanese Top Elite, Jaden, have been getting quite cozy lately."
"Go to hell, Coo-Coo!" Frieza snapped. "That rumor is about Jaden and Vegeta, not Jaden and me! Vegeta was supposedly taking her out to dinner the week after my beauty contest is over."
"Hah, if that's true, then the Monkey Prince has even worse taste than you do in women," Coola replied snidely. He snorted. "No, actually, it is Jaden's taste I'm questioning. Even she can do better than a monkey. I never understood what a gorgeous woman like Diamonique saw in him. The Gemstarian woman, now she is a wondrous creature, but she has such pitiful tastes in men!"
"Vegeta was young and horny then, not that he isn't now, but he was worse back then, and Diamonique was there to make a man out of him. At least, to some extent, that couple would make sense, as long as Diamonique didn't allow Vegeta to impregnate her, but Jaden and Vegeta! Ugh! I must seriously have a talk with those two! I sent Zarbon to try to talk some sense into Jaden, but knowing how stubborn my one and only Rybanese Top Elite Officer is, she's likely to brush even him off when he confronts her. I understand that Jaden's probably desperate, but Vegeta can surely find a female closer to his species to play with, as long as it's not my Cypress."
"Cypress?" King Cold asked.
"Why your soldier, Cypress, of course," Frieza replied. "Surely you would remember a beauty such as her, Father."
"I've never heard of her."
"She's in your Mid-Elite."
"I know almost all of my Mid-Elite Officers, and I've never met her. But then, my Head Commander, Brutu, could have promoted her. I'll contact him now and ask him about her." King Cold pulled his large scouter out of his pocket and unfolded it. He contacted Brutu immediately.
"Brutu?"
"Yes, Your Majesty?"
"My son claims there is a woman in my army, a Mid-Elite Officer named Cypress. What do you know of her?"
Brutu commented thoughtfully in his gravelly voice, "From which race is she? And what does she look like?"
King Cold asked Frieza for details, but Frieza could only describe Cypress, not give her actual race. King Cold simply gave Brutu Cypress's description, and Brutu thought for a few moments.
Finally, King Cold's Head Commander replied, "I am sorry, Your Majesty, but there is no humanoid female Top Elite officer with that description of that name. I would know if such a woman existed. I know almost all of the Elite females in our army, and there is no Cypress."
"WHAT?" King Cold, Frieza, and Coola exclaimed.
"Looks like your dream woman's turned out to be a pipe dream," Coola commented with a hint of triumph. "Looks like there's a fraud among us."
"We must find out who this Cypress is, if she's not working for any of us," King Cold said firmly. "She could be a spy."
"I'll track her down at the auditorium immediately, since she's in my beauty contest," Frieza insisted. "This woman will reveal once and for all who she is!"
No matter how beautiful and entertaining Cypress was, if she was a spy or potential threat, she would have to be dealt with. Frieza privately thought that it would be a shame, if Cypress had to be harmed. They had spent a fascinating night together just before Frieza's family had shown up. Frieza and Cypress had danced and had dinner together, but strangely enough, when Frieza tried to make advances upon her, Cypress gently refused him. Angry and agitated, Frieza demanded to know why, for few women would dare to refuse him. Cypress then replied that King Cold had forbidden his women soldiers from having affairs with King Cold's sons. She had told Frieza regretfully, that if King Cold found out about this, she'd be in enough trouble already. Frieza still wasn't too happy, but even he wasn't about to defy his father, and so he allowed Cypress to leave untouched when she requested permission.
Coming back to the present, Frieza decided that instead of killing Cypress, if she were proven to be a problem, he'd simply make her one of his concubines. Then Cypress would have no choice, but to entertain him whenever he demanded her company.
Frieza smirked wickedly. He'd find a way yet to make Cypress his, no matter what she turned out to be.
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As a group of oversexed, overexcited men from Frieza's army entered the auditorium to await the beauty contest, Zarbon and Jaden were backstage arguing.
"For the last blasted time, Zarbon, Vegeta and I are NOT dating! And even if we were, why in the hell does anyone give a crap anyway? My private life is none of their business!"
"I agree, Jaden," Zarbon told his friend and colleague as calmly as possible. "What the other officers think is not of any importance, but Lord Frieza is…concerned."
"And let me guess, he sent you to do his dirty work and tell me to cancel my plans with Vegeta! Just like Lord Frieza to not have to sully his white hands any more than necessary! If he doesn't want me going out with Vegeta, why in the hell doesn't he come tell me himself? I wouldn't have been happy, but I would have obeyed. I don't understand why Frieza gives a crap, if he's worried about that little no-procreation order on Vegeta, I have no intention of sleeping with the lad. Never have; never will. We're not even reproductively compatible. Our one little so-called date is nothing more than a business arrangement. Vegeta is taking me out because he owes me a favor, and he's repaying it. You can tell Frieza that, if he asks, and for him not to worry. Vegeta's no more interested in me than I am in him."
Zarbon was visibly relieved. When he had first heard a drunken Ginyu mention Vegeta and Jaden seeing each other, he had become as concerned as Frieza. He was puzzled as to how Jaden could date someone so beneath her, even if that person was a prince. "What exactly did you do for Vegeta to have him be so agreeable as to take you out to dinner?"
"Sorry, Zarbon, but that's between him and I," Jaden replied brusquely. Before Zarbon could protest, Jaden held out a hand to stave off any further inquiries. "And I have to go now. You better catch yourself a seat before all our horny male comrades take them all. Things are going to get interesting…and possibly troublesome, especially since some of Coola's men have shown up. Just wonderful, isn't it? I hate it when Coola and his snobby, superiority-complex-filled bunch of buttholes show up! Especially Sauzaa and his Armored Squadron buddies."
Zarbon shuddered delicately. Like Jaden, he and most of Frieza's soldiers despised Coola's soldiers. Many of Coola's Elites were either superior or equal to in strength and fighting ability to Frieza's Elites, and Coola's Elites loved to point that out every time they ran into anyone from Frieza's army. Many of Coola's soldiers were well the match of many of Frieza's best soldiers, but most of them were less ethical and honorable, with some of them committing foul deeds that not even Frieza's cruelest soldiers would dream of doing. Frieza's soldiers frequently fought amongst themselves, but they always unified with each other, whenever any of Coola's soldiers became a problem, and it was vice versa with Coola's soldiers.
And Zarbon and Jaden shared a special dislike for Sauzaa, the head of Coola's Armored Squadron.
"Lovely, just lovely," Zarbon grumbled. "And since Sauzaa and I are both Head Commanders, it means I will have to endure them and help Lord Frieza entertain both him and Lord Coola. I want to retch every time I see Sauzaa kissing up to Lord Coola."
"Yeah, watching Sauzaa's tail-kissing is only more tolerable than hearing Lord Coola's bragging about his own accomplishments for hours on end. Frankly, I've had more fun watching Dodoria drool. Well, Zarbon, I pity you, but I have to run. I'm curious to see how this little bet between you and my best pupil turns out."
Zarbon smiled confidently. "Relax, Jaden. There's no way that Reccoom is going to win. Once Nappa and Raditz see the more delectable beauties entering the contest, those two oversexed monkeys will forget about Vegeta's possible wrath, if they don't pick Reccoom. Yes, I believe that Vegeta demanded that his fellow Saiyans pick Reccoom to be the winner or else."
"If you're that certain, why didn't you mention that concern to Lord Frieza?"
Zarbon chuckled. "And end our little bet so soon? I don't think so! Besides, it will be much more satisfying to see Vegeta's humiliation when his dear Reccoom loses, when Nappa and Raditz allow their hormones to get the best of them and vote for someone with a nice figure and pretty face. I guarantee you, Jaden, by tomorrow morning, Vegeta will be wearing his sister's sexiest nightgown, serving me eggs sunny-side-up. It will be a pleasure to have that arrogant little monkey waiting on me for a month."
Jaden grinned. "You better be careful, Zarbon. I wouldn't count Vegeta out yet, if I were you. I'm sure Nappa and Raditz are more worried about surviving their prince's wrath, than they are about judging the contest fairly. I believe they almost fear Vegeta more than they do Lord Frieza. I believe that Reccoom will become the first Mister Miss Frieza, and Nappa and Raditz will be thankful to survive the contest with their tails intact-and I don't mean the ones on their Saiyan behinds."
"There is no way that Nappa and Raditz would ever agree to vote for Reccoom. Neither of them cares for him. I'm sure those two are laughing at the idea of making him the winner at this very moment."
"Whether those two like Reccoom or not doesn't matter. They do exactly what Vegeta tells them. If Vegeta were to tell them to lick the crud off of his boots, they'd do it just for a few extra hours of life. Face facts, Zarbon, your chances of winning the bet ended when Frieza forced Raditz and Nappa to become the judges again. If those two perverts known as Hectar and Rectaurus had been allowed to remain as judges, it would be time to help Vegeta pick out Journa's best nightie to wear. But as it is…ah, Zarbon, no offense, but if I were you, I'd be trying on Chestra's clothing right about now."
Zarbon shook his head and sighed indulgently. "Jaden, you have no faith in me!"
Jaden smiled. "I'm just being realistic, Zarbon. You should have known that Nappa and Raditz would side with their prince in a heartbeat. Better go dig through Chestra's closet as soon as you can."
Zarbon laughed softly. "Jaden, Jaden, Jaden. Trust me, when I say that Reccoom will not win. Nappa and Raditz will pick the most gorgeous young woman that they see, not some buffoon."
Jaden smirked. "We'll see, won't we? I don't envy you though, Zarbon, I can tell you that much."
"You will, when our Saiyan prince has to wait on me hand and foot."
"Whatever you say, Zarbon, whatever you say."
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Nappa and Raditz were both unusually pale, as they walked slowly and fearfully to the judges' table, as if they were heading to Frieza to be executed. On their way there, the handsome, yet arrogant and cruel, Sauzaa sauntered towards the Saiyan judges.
"Hello, gentlemen," Sauzaa told the two men sweetly. Nappa barely restrained himself from trying to pummel the blue-faced pretty boy into the ground. Nappa's tail was stiff and bristled as a bottlebrush. Raditz was no calmer than his friend. If Sauzaa hadn't been Coola's Head Commander and stronger than both Saiyans put together, he would have been facing Enma Daiou right about now.
"What do you want, Saucy?" Raditz asked nastily.
"The name is Sauzaa," Sauzaa told him coolly. "And I have a special reminder to you two from my dear, beloved Lord Coola-"
"Dear and beloved Lord Coola?" Nappa mocked. "What are you two…lovers or something? We all know that you use your lips on Lord Coola's butt quite a bit, but we didn't think that you enjoyed using certain other body parts there as well, particularly that scrawny thing between your legs that you call a cock!" He and Raditz laughed and chortled wickedly, slapping each other's backs. Nappa was proud of himself at that moment, for he could finally get back at Sauzaa for helping to abduct him and take him to Coola.
"Good one, Nappa, good one!" Raditz agreed, chuckling loudly.
Sauzaa's good-looking face purpled in fury, as he clenched his fists. "You two monkeys will pay for insulting Lord Coola and me!"
"Put it on our bill, fancy pants!" Raditz yelled boisterously.
Sauzaa growled at the laughing Saiyans. "Listen, you two primates, Lord Coola just wanted me to warn you men to vote for Karilyn or else! Don't think he has forgotten."
"Oooh," Raditz jeered. "We're so scared."
"You should be, you two primitive gorillas!" Sauzaa retorted. "But I will leave now. Don't forget what Lord Coola has ordered…Karilyn as Miss Frieza. And if you disobey him, I will gladly help him dispose of you two cretins. I eat pieces of crud like you two for breakfast!"
Raditz chuckled. "You eat pieces of crud for breakfast?"
"Hope they go well with milk!" Nappa teased with a grin.
Sauzaa, embarrassed by the way he had trapped himself, stomped his booted feet furiously. "A plague upon your race! May the last of the Saiyans die with your generation!" And with that he stormed away, with Raditz and Nappa still laughing loudly, as they finally made their way to the judges' table.
They were still laughing, even when they saw an envelope on the table with both of their names written on it in Standard language. Nappa picked it up and opened it, and his grin collapsed into a worried frown.
"What's wrong?" Raditz wanted to know.
Nappa said gravely, "It's from King Cold. He said to make sure to vote for Lady Snowflake, or else we're doomed."
The realization that King Cold and Coola were still blackmailing them was slowly coming into the two Saiyans' awareness once more. Raditz slumped against the edge of the judges' table. "We're screwed, Nappa. Either King Cold or Coola will destroy us before Vegeta or Frieza can help us."
"No matter how we look at things, we're dead," Nappa sighed. "I'm tempted to go call Frieza a pantywaist and die by his hand. At least any death like that will be quick. We won't be so lucky with Vegeta or Coola or King Cold."
"I wish we've never been picked," Raditz muttered.
"I wish Frieza never came up with this beauty contest to begin with," Nappa groused.
"What are we going to do, Nappa?" Raditz asked worriedly.
"What does it matter at this point what we do? No matter how we vote, we're not going to live past today. Well, Raditz, it's been nice fighting alongside you and working with you."
"Yeah, same here, Nappa, same here." And neither Raditz nor Nappa spoke for a while.
"Eclipse, just how much longer is this going to take?" Vegeta asked Nappa's mate impatiently, as Eclipse added a few finishing touches to Reccoom's dress. Vegeta had summoned Eclipse, who had a talent for altering clothing and sewing, to come look at Reccoom's clothing for the beauty contest…the contest that was to happen TODAY. Nappa and Raditz had already left for the auditorium, as if they were headed to their own executions.
Wonderful, just wonderful. And with it being Frieza's birthday on top of everything else, this was going to be a very long day. Vegeta just hoped that Raditz and Nappa would follow through on his orders and make Reccoom the winner. He also hoped that Reccoom would be smart enough to keep his mouth shut about the plan until the contest was over.
He also hoped that his fellow Saiyans wouldn't ruin his plans. There was no way he was going to be Zarbon's flunky, especially if he had to wear one of Journa's nightgowns. Just having to wait on that pretty boy was going to be humiliating enough.
Eclipse replied sweetly, "Just a few more minutes, Prince Vegeta. I just have to make sure that Reccoom is not going to trip in this dress. It is a very beautiful dress that you've chosen for him, Prince."
"It should be, as much as my half of the bill cost for it." Reccoom had paid for the other half.
"Don't I look adorable?" Reccoom asked.
Eclipse replied cautiously, "Yes, Reccoom, the color and make does suit you."
"You look passable," Vegeta asserted. "Just make sure you do everything that I told you to do."
"Sure will, Vegeta, sure will!" Reccoom promised happily. "By the way, how are things between you and your girlfriend?"
"Girlfriend?" Vegeta asked suspiciously. "Are you referring to Cypress? She is not my girlfriend, only a prospect."
Reccoom chuckled. "Nah, although I've seen her around, and she is a babe! I meant Jaden, of course! I want all of the details afterwards. And I'll be checking her neck after the date too, to see if it's been left unmarked."
An infuriated Vegeta was about to launch himself at Reccoom when Eclipse spoke out, "No, Prince Vegeta, you'll ruin his dress!"
"Oh, fine!" Vegeta huffed, stopping himself very reluctantly. He glared at his contestant. "Reccoom, remind me to annihilate you later!"
"Sure thing, Vegeta," Reccoom responded cheerfully.
A knock was heard on Vegeta and Nappa's bedroom door then. "Who is it?" Vegeta demanded to know.
"It's Diamonique."
"Good for you," Vegeta replied. "Now go away."
"Vegeta, open this door! I have an important matter to discuss with you!"
"He's busy getting Reccoom ready for the beauty contest!" Eclipse replied.
"I'm not leaving until Vegeta opens this door," Diamonique insisted through the door.
"Well, then you'll be an old lady by the time that happens," Vegeta replied serenely. "Not that you're that young now. The rash and blisters on your face don't help matters much either."
An angry kick and few angry punches were heard on the other side of the door afterwards. "Perhaps you should give her a moment," Eclipse suggested.
"No, I don't think so, Eclipse. I let your cousin live in the same atmosphere as me; the least thing she can do is leave me alone," Vegeta told her curtly.
"Fine, then," Diamonique called. "I need to speak to Eclipse for a moment anyway."
"I'll be just a moment, Prince Vegeta," Eclipse promised the agitated prince, as she pressed the button to open the door.
"What is it-" Eclipse was about to ask, but an indignant Diamonique pushed past her and marched directly into Vegeta's room. Vegeta and Reccoom visibly retched at the sight of her reddened, blistered face; Diamonique looked positively monstrous with her afflicted features, and her fury did not improve her looks any.
"Do you normally enter men's rooms without permission?" Vegeta snarled at his former lover.
"All the time," Reccoom cracked, and Diamonique glared at him before turning her full attention back on Vegeta.
"On occasions such as this, yes!" Diamonique fumed. "Vegeta, I heard a ghastly rumor about you going around, a simply horrid story! I heard that you and Jaden were going on a date! I know that can't be true."
Vegeta smirked. "Oh, yes it is true. I'm taking Jaden out for dinner." Normally, he would have stuck to the truth and insisted that the "date" was a business arrangement, but implying that he and Jaden were seeing each other was sure to annoy Diamonique. Perhaps he'd anger her enough to convince her to leave him alone for a few weeks.
"You and-JADEN? Why her?" Diamonique whined pathetically. "What does SHE have that I don't?"
Vegeta replied wickedly, "Less chance of giving me a sexually transmitted disease."
"You bastard!" Diamonique hissed. "I ought to slap you!"
"Do it then," Vegeta dared her, crossing his arms.
Before Diamonique could accept or refuse his challenge, her scouter beeped. "Diamonique," Frieza's voice said through her scouter, "I need to see you immediately."
"Yes, Lord Frieza," Diamonique replied grudgingly. After cutting off communication, she turned on her heel and away from Vegeta. "Vegeta, before I go, I want you to know how low your tastes have been running lately! Picking Reccoom to be a contestant, and then flirting with one of King Cold's soldiers-don't think I don't know about Cypress-and now, dating Jaden! You are cruel, Vegeta, cruel!"
"Thank you for the compliment," Vegeta answered with a grin.
Diamonique tossed her ice-blue pageboy. "Well, guess what, Prince-you're not the only one seeing that whore, Cypress! Frieza's got his eye on her too; in fact, he and Cypress had dinner a few nights ago-and a whole lot more than that."
The shocked expression on Vegeta's face temporarily satisfied Diamonique's lust for revenge. Eclipse and Reccoom looked at him with too much pity, something that Vegeta hated almost more than anything else.
"That's right, Vegeta. Cypress went to Frieza's dining room, and he wined and dined her. When Cypress left Frieza's room, she was grinning, just like I do when a man has pleased me. From the look on her face, Frieza had given her the time of her life. Of course, an opportunist like Cypress would want a man with power and position. Just thought I should tell you what your new fling has been up to. Ta-ta, Vegeta! I'll see you later! Oh, and make sure that Jaden isn't playing around on you too."
Vegeta replied coldly, "You have not fazed me at least, Diamonique. If Cypress wants to spread her legs for Frieza, that's her problem. I don't want Frieza's leftovers. Goodbye, and don't bother me again."
"Fine then…and, oh, Vegeta, I'm sorry, but I thought you had the right to know," Diamonique replied with unhidden malice in her voice. And with that, she opened the door and left, pleased that she had delivered a mortal blow to her ex-lover.
"Vegeta, I am-" Eclipse began, but Vegeta held out a hand to silence her.
"It matters nothing to me. I have more important things to do," he replied in such a stiff tone, but Eclipse and Reccoom could tell that he was hurt and trying to hide it. "I have no time for women anyway, especially since I have to get Reccoom through this contest. Eclipse, are you finished with him?"
"Yes, Prince," Eclipse replied quietly with her turquoise-framed head held down.
"Good. Then leave us. Reccoom and I have to go. Give my regards to Nappa when you see him, as I am sure that you will. Farewell."
"Goodbye, Vegeta, Reccoom," Eclipse said softly, as she pressed the button to open the door to leave.
When she left, two somber men remained, especially a Saiyan prince who was angry with himself, for feeling so betrayed because a woman he was starting to like had chosen his lizard-freak boss over him. Hiding his pain almost successfully with his usual nonchalance, he ordered Reccoom about, as they headed out the door.
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"So Cypress betrayed him?" Journa asked quizzically.
"Something like that," Eclipse told the only living female pureblooded Saiyan known to Frieza's army. She and Journa didn't normally gossip and talk like this, being that Journa, like her Saiyan comrades, was usually aloof to almost anyone who was not of Saiyan origin. However, she and Eclipse did get along fairly well whenever they did talk. And Eclipse had thought that Journa should know what was going on, in case Vegeta acted more caustic than even he normally did.
Journa's expression was clearly one of pity for her younger brother. As handsome and powerful as her crown prince brother was, he seemed to have little or no luck with women. Her brother needed a bonded mate, or at least a regular partner who would be faithful to him. He was better off without Cypress; that was for certain. Vegeta didn't need Frieza's leavings. She ran a masculine hand through her ruddy, unruly hair, while carelessly swinging a burgundy garment in her other hand. Eclipse noticed, and asked, "What's that in your hand, if you don't mind my asking?"
"Oh, just a swimsuit," Journa replied casually.
"Lord Frieza finally had the swimming pool fixed?" Eclipse questioned.
"Nah…I've been waiting for him to get around to doing that myself. But, this swimsuit is part of a surprise for Raditz."
"And what would that be?"
Journa chuckled. "He doesn't know it yet, but I am entering the beauty contest. Course I know that I can't win 'cause my mate's one of the judges, but it'll be fun, even if it does mean having to put up with the catcalls from the men in the audience."
Eclipse giggled. "I remember when I won the title of Miss Frieza three years ago. It was a real ego boost! You know what, Journa, I didn't mention this to Nappa, but I just entered too."
"Are you serious? Nappa's going to wet his pants when he finds out!"
Eclipse giggled some more. "Of course, I know that I'll have to drop out before the final judging, but it'll give Nappa a turn. He keeps saying that he wants to see me in a bikini, so he'll get an eyeful! This is going to be interesting!"
"Oh, yeah, I'm sure it will be," Journa agreed. "From the looks of things, this year's beauty contest is going to be like no other!"
Journa didn't know just how right she was.
***********************************************************************************************
Frieza's dining room…
"You look exquisite," Coola commented to Karilyn. He was sitting at the dining room table with Frieza, King Cold, and Snowflake, his despised younger sister who was also a contestant in the Miss Frieza Beauty Contest. He didn't dare snub her openly for his father was present, along with King Cold's favorite wife, Lady Caldair.
"Why thank you, master!" Karilyn gushed.
"Turn around and let me have another look at you."
Karilyn obeyed, twirling about to show off a gold, glittery evening gown that she had chosen. Coola smiled with approval, and he felt himself become aroused by the way that the gown clung to his concubine's delicious curves.
"You will definitely win," Coola promised his paramour. "If not, I will personally see that the judges are castrated." He lightly patted her hip, and Karilyn laughed softly, asking to be excused to go freshen herself up in the restroom. Coola granted her permission, and she left.
"Don't tell me that you're going to harm my judges, Coola," Frieza told his brother frostily after Karilyn had disappeared into Frieza's private restroom.
Coola said breezily, "Relax, brother. I was just assuring my woman that she has every chance of winning your silly beauty contest. I don't understand honestly why she wants to go out among the oversexed perverts in your low-class army, but I don't see the harm of allowing her to do so just once. Of course, if any of your men touch her, you know what I will do to them."
"Like any of my men would want to handle your leavings!" Frieza retorted. "Believe me, my men have higher standards that your women could never meet."
"Really?" Coola asked his brother calmly. "Then why have I heard substantiated rumors that Rectaurus, Hectar, and a couple of the Ginyu Force members have been sneaking around with a few of my concubines? You and they know how I am about other men touching what is mine."
"My men have better sense than to touch any of your whores," Frieza snapped. He knew personally, that Coola's insinuations held truth, for, in the past, he had heard some of his Top Elite men bragging about their conquests with Coola's and King Cold's concubines and maids. Frieza honestly didn't care what his men did with Coola's women and King Cold's women, as long as they weren't stupid enough to get caught. His men had to satisfy their urges sometime, and Frieza wasn't about to allow any of his male soldiers near his women; all of his men knew well that there was no second chance for a soldier who bedded any of Frieza's paramours or concubines.
"My 'whores', as you call them, are of high quality; I only select the best young women for my harem," Coola told his younger brother loftily.
"I'm afraid that would be a mistake, brother, for the best young women happen to be in my collection."
"Ha! That will be the day!"
"Jealous, are you, Coola?"
"Gentlemen!" King Cold shouted, slamming his wine glass onto the table. "That is enough! Coola, this is Frieza's birthday today, so you can treat him with a little more respect than what you normally grant him. And Frieza, you do not need to bait your older brother every second!"
"He started it!" both brothers protested, pointing at each other.
Caldair and Snowflake sighed. Caldair lightly touched the newly curled, lavender tresses of her beautiful humanoid daughter's hair.
"You look lovely, my dear," Caldair assured her in a smooth, cultured voice, appropriate to someone of her rank. The half-Gemstarian, half-Cara Caldair was a tall, gracious woman with her red-and-gold hair, violet eyes, an unusually long neck from her Cara origins, and the crystal-blue teeth and poisonous diamond nails from her Gemstarian descent. She was King Cold's true love, his favorite out of the numerous women with which he surrounded himself.
"Thank you, Mummy," Snowflake replied sweetly. She smoothed down her shimmering sheath that clung to her tall, lithe body like a second skin.
Coola and Frieza snorted. They rarely acknowledged their young sister, mainly because they were both jealous of the affection and favors that their father granted her. Neither brother had wanted their father to sire any more children after them, but King Cold had brushed their demands aside and continued produce a new half-sibling for them every two-to-three years or so, thanks to either a wife or a concubine. Unfortunately, some of those half-siblings died from time to time when either Coola or Frieza would send their soldiers to surreptitiously assassinate their unwanted brothers and sisters. Both of them feared that their father would someday sire a child that would be more powerful than either of them and would try to take over the throne after King Cold's death.
"Yes, you are rather lovely," Coola commented serenely to his detested sister. "For a mixed-breed child, you look rather well. Of course, my Karilyn is such an exquisite female that I would hate for you to be hurt when you have to compete against her. I wouldn't want you to have a broken heart."
Caldair glared at him darkly, but Coola ignored her. He only paid nominal respect to his father's three wives, the three wives he had taken one after another when Queen Frost, Coola and Frieza's mother had died, but he dared not try anything against them. His father allowed no insults or threats to touch his favored women, particularly his Caldair.
Snowflake retorted, "And I wouldn't want you to have a broken tail when I-"
"Snowflake, please," Caldair pleaded.
"But, Mummy, he-"
"Please let your father handle this."
Snowflake sighed. "All right."
King Cold spoke harshly, "Coola, you will apologize for your remarks immediately, do you understand me? Your sister has done you no harm, and you treat her, as if she's no better than a slave. This childishly cruel behavior towards her is going to end, do I make myself clear?" He looked down at his oldest son with such ferocity that it fazed the normally self-assured Coola. Coola flinched and mumbled a hasty, stiff apology to Snowflake, who grudgingly accepted it. There was no love lost between Snowflake and her two oldest half-brothers.
Pointing at his brother, as if he were a five-year-old, Frieza mocked in a singsong tone, "Hahahahaha! Coola got in trouble!"
"Shut up, Freezy!" Coola roared, using Frieza's most hated nickname against him.
"Make me, Coo-Coo!" Frieza teased, before sticking his long, purple tongue out at him.
Snowflake shook her head at this. She hated being around her brothers, especially when they were together and made complete fools of themselves whenever they met. It was incredible how those two could revert back to children within less than a nanosecond.
"Oh, I'm not the one who's coo-coo," Coola said sweetly. "I've heard that a rumor that you and your ugly Rybanese Top Elite, Jaden, have been getting quite cozy lately."
"Go to hell, Coo-Coo!" Frieza snapped. "That rumor is about Jaden and Vegeta, not Jaden and me! Vegeta was supposedly taking her out to dinner the week after my beauty contest is over."
"Hah, if that's true, then the Monkey Prince has even worse taste than you do in women," Coola replied snidely. He snorted. "No, actually, it is Jaden's taste I'm questioning. Even she can do better than a monkey. I never understood what a gorgeous woman like Diamonique saw in him. The Gemstarian woman, now she is a wondrous creature, but she has such pitiful tastes in men!"
"Vegeta was young and horny then, not that he isn't now, but he was worse back then, and Diamonique was there to make a man out of him. At least, to some extent, that couple would make sense, as long as Diamonique didn't allow Vegeta to impregnate her, but Jaden and Vegeta! Ugh! I must seriously have a talk with those two! I sent Zarbon to try to talk some sense into Jaden, but knowing how stubborn my one and only Rybanese Top Elite Officer is, she's likely to brush even him off when he confronts her. I understand that Jaden's probably desperate, but Vegeta can surely find a female closer to his species to play with, as long as it's not my Cypress."
"Cypress?" King Cold asked.
"Why your soldier, Cypress, of course," Frieza replied. "Surely you would remember a beauty such as her, Father."
"I've never heard of her."
"She's in your Mid-Elite."
"I know almost all of my Mid-Elite Officers, and I've never met her. But then, my Head Commander, Brutu, could have promoted her. I'll contact him now and ask him about her." King Cold pulled his large scouter out of his pocket and unfolded it. He contacted Brutu immediately.
"Brutu?"
"Yes, Your Majesty?"
"My son claims there is a woman in my army, a Mid-Elite Officer named Cypress. What do you know of her?"
Brutu commented thoughtfully in his gravelly voice, "From which race is she? And what does she look like?"
King Cold asked Frieza for details, but Frieza could only describe Cypress, not give her actual race. King Cold simply gave Brutu Cypress's description, and Brutu thought for a few moments.
Finally, King Cold's Head Commander replied, "I am sorry, Your Majesty, but there is no humanoid female Top Elite officer with that description of that name. I would know if such a woman existed. I know almost all of the Elite females in our army, and there is no Cypress."
"WHAT?" King Cold, Frieza, and Coola exclaimed.
"Looks like your dream woman's turned out to be a pipe dream," Coola commented with a hint of triumph. "Looks like there's a fraud among us."
"We must find out who this Cypress is, if she's not working for any of us," King Cold said firmly. "She could be a spy."
"I'll track her down at the auditorium immediately, since she's in my beauty contest," Frieza insisted. "This woman will reveal once and for all who she is!"
No matter how beautiful and entertaining Cypress was, if she was a spy or potential threat, she would have to be dealt with. Frieza privately thought that it would be a shame, if Cypress had to be harmed. They had spent a fascinating night together just before Frieza's family had shown up. Frieza and Cypress had danced and had dinner together, but strangely enough, when Frieza tried to make advances upon her, Cypress gently refused him. Angry and agitated, Frieza demanded to know why, for few women would dare to refuse him. Cypress then replied that King Cold had forbidden his women soldiers from having affairs with King Cold's sons. She had told Frieza regretfully, that if King Cold found out about this, she'd be in enough trouble already. Frieza still wasn't too happy, but even he wasn't about to defy his father, and so he allowed Cypress to leave untouched when she requested permission.
Coming back to the present, Frieza decided that instead of killing Cypress, if she were proven to be a problem, he'd simply make her one of his concubines. Then Cypress would have no choice, but to entertain him whenever he demanded her company.
Frieza smirked wickedly. He'd find a way yet to make Cypress his, no matter what she turned out to be.
***********************************************************************************************
As a group of oversexed, overexcited men from Frieza's army entered the auditorium to await the beauty contest, Zarbon and Jaden were backstage arguing.
"For the last blasted time, Zarbon, Vegeta and I are NOT dating! And even if we were, why in the hell does anyone give a crap anyway? My private life is none of their business!"
"I agree, Jaden," Zarbon told his friend and colleague as calmly as possible. "What the other officers think is not of any importance, but Lord Frieza is…concerned."
"And let me guess, he sent you to do his dirty work and tell me to cancel my plans with Vegeta! Just like Lord Frieza to not have to sully his white hands any more than necessary! If he doesn't want me going out with Vegeta, why in the hell doesn't he come tell me himself? I wouldn't have been happy, but I would have obeyed. I don't understand why Frieza gives a crap, if he's worried about that little no-procreation order on Vegeta, I have no intention of sleeping with the lad. Never have; never will. We're not even reproductively compatible. Our one little so-called date is nothing more than a business arrangement. Vegeta is taking me out because he owes me a favor, and he's repaying it. You can tell Frieza that, if he asks, and for him not to worry. Vegeta's no more interested in me than I am in him."
Zarbon was visibly relieved. When he had first heard a drunken Ginyu mention Vegeta and Jaden seeing each other, he had become as concerned as Frieza. He was puzzled as to how Jaden could date someone so beneath her, even if that person was a prince. "What exactly did you do for Vegeta to have him be so agreeable as to take you out to dinner?"
"Sorry, Zarbon, but that's between him and I," Jaden replied brusquely. Before Zarbon could protest, Jaden held out a hand to stave off any further inquiries. "And I have to go now. You better catch yourself a seat before all our horny male comrades take them all. Things are going to get interesting…and possibly troublesome, especially since some of Coola's men have shown up. Just wonderful, isn't it? I hate it when Coola and his snobby, superiority-complex-filled bunch of buttholes show up! Especially Sauzaa and his Armored Squadron buddies."
Zarbon shuddered delicately. Like Jaden, he and most of Frieza's soldiers despised Coola's soldiers. Many of Coola's Elites were either superior or equal to in strength and fighting ability to Frieza's Elites, and Coola's Elites loved to point that out every time they ran into anyone from Frieza's army. Many of Coola's soldiers were well the match of many of Frieza's best soldiers, but most of them were less ethical and honorable, with some of them committing foul deeds that not even Frieza's cruelest soldiers would dream of doing. Frieza's soldiers frequently fought amongst themselves, but they always unified with each other, whenever any of Coola's soldiers became a problem, and it was vice versa with Coola's soldiers.
And Zarbon and Jaden shared a special dislike for Sauzaa, the head of Coola's Armored Squadron.
"Lovely, just lovely," Zarbon grumbled. "And since Sauzaa and I are both Head Commanders, it means I will have to endure them and help Lord Frieza entertain both him and Lord Coola. I want to retch every time I see Sauzaa kissing up to Lord Coola."
"Yeah, watching Sauzaa's tail-kissing is only more tolerable than hearing Lord Coola's bragging about his own accomplishments for hours on end. Frankly, I've had more fun watching Dodoria drool. Well, Zarbon, I pity you, but I have to run. I'm curious to see how this little bet between you and my best pupil turns out."
Zarbon smiled confidently. "Relax, Jaden. There's no way that Reccoom is going to win. Once Nappa and Raditz see the more delectable beauties entering the contest, those two oversexed monkeys will forget about Vegeta's possible wrath, if they don't pick Reccoom. Yes, I believe that Vegeta demanded that his fellow Saiyans pick Reccoom to be the winner or else."
"If you're that certain, why didn't you mention that concern to Lord Frieza?"
Zarbon chuckled. "And end our little bet so soon? I don't think so! Besides, it will be much more satisfying to see Vegeta's humiliation when his dear Reccoom loses, when Nappa and Raditz allow their hormones to get the best of them and vote for someone with a nice figure and pretty face. I guarantee you, Jaden, by tomorrow morning, Vegeta will be wearing his sister's sexiest nightgown, serving me eggs sunny-side-up. It will be a pleasure to have that arrogant little monkey waiting on me for a month."
Jaden grinned. "You better be careful, Zarbon. I wouldn't count Vegeta out yet, if I were you. I'm sure Nappa and Raditz are more worried about surviving their prince's wrath, than they are about judging the contest fairly. I believe they almost fear Vegeta more than they do Lord Frieza. I believe that Reccoom will become the first Mister Miss Frieza, and Nappa and Raditz will be thankful to survive the contest with their tails intact-and I don't mean the ones on their Saiyan behinds."
"There is no way that Nappa and Raditz would ever agree to vote for Reccoom. Neither of them cares for him. I'm sure those two are laughing at the idea of making him the winner at this very moment."
"Whether those two like Reccoom or not doesn't matter. They do exactly what Vegeta tells them. If Vegeta were to tell them to lick the crud off of his boots, they'd do it just for a few extra hours of life. Face facts, Zarbon, your chances of winning the bet ended when Frieza forced Raditz and Nappa to become the judges again. If those two perverts known as Hectar and Rectaurus had been allowed to remain as judges, it would be time to help Vegeta pick out Journa's best nightie to wear. But as it is…ah, Zarbon, no offense, but if I were you, I'd be trying on Chestra's clothing right about now."
Zarbon shook his head and sighed indulgently. "Jaden, you have no faith in me!"
Jaden smiled. "I'm just being realistic, Zarbon. You should have known that Nappa and Raditz would side with their prince in a heartbeat. Better go dig through Chestra's closet as soon as you can."
Zarbon laughed softly. "Jaden, Jaden, Jaden. Trust me, when I say that Reccoom will not win. Nappa and Raditz will pick the most gorgeous young woman that they see, not some buffoon."
Jaden smirked. "We'll see, won't we? I don't envy you though, Zarbon, I can tell you that much."
"You will, when our Saiyan prince has to wait on me hand and foot."
"Whatever you say, Zarbon, whatever you say."
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Nappa and Raditz were both unusually pale, as they walked slowly and fearfully to the judges' table, as if they were heading to Frieza to be executed. On their way there, the handsome, yet arrogant and cruel, Sauzaa sauntered towards the Saiyan judges.
"Hello, gentlemen," Sauzaa told the two men sweetly. Nappa barely restrained himself from trying to pummel the blue-faced pretty boy into the ground. Nappa's tail was stiff and bristled as a bottlebrush. Raditz was no calmer than his friend. If Sauzaa hadn't been Coola's Head Commander and stronger than both Saiyans put together, he would have been facing Enma Daiou right about now.
"What do you want, Saucy?" Raditz asked nastily.
"The name is Sauzaa," Sauzaa told him coolly. "And I have a special reminder to you two from my dear, beloved Lord Coola-"
"Dear and beloved Lord Coola?" Nappa mocked. "What are you two…lovers or something? We all know that you use your lips on Lord Coola's butt quite a bit, but we didn't think that you enjoyed using certain other body parts there as well, particularly that scrawny thing between your legs that you call a cock!" He and Raditz laughed and chortled wickedly, slapping each other's backs. Nappa was proud of himself at that moment, for he could finally get back at Sauzaa for helping to abduct him and take him to Coola.
"Good one, Nappa, good one!" Raditz agreed, chuckling loudly.
Sauzaa's good-looking face purpled in fury, as he clenched his fists. "You two monkeys will pay for insulting Lord Coola and me!"
"Put it on our bill, fancy pants!" Raditz yelled boisterously.
Sauzaa growled at the laughing Saiyans. "Listen, you two primates, Lord Coola just wanted me to warn you men to vote for Karilyn or else! Don't think he has forgotten."
"Oooh," Raditz jeered. "We're so scared."
"You should be, you two primitive gorillas!" Sauzaa retorted. "But I will leave now. Don't forget what Lord Coola has ordered…Karilyn as Miss Frieza. And if you disobey him, I will gladly help him dispose of you two cretins. I eat pieces of crud like you two for breakfast!"
Raditz chuckled. "You eat pieces of crud for breakfast?"
"Hope they go well with milk!" Nappa teased with a grin.
Sauzaa, embarrassed by the way he had trapped himself, stomped his booted feet furiously. "A plague upon your race! May the last of the Saiyans die with your generation!" And with that he stormed away, with Raditz and Nappa still laughing loudly, as they finally made their way to the judges' table.
They were still laughing, even when they saw an envelope on the table with both of their names written on it in Standard language. Nappa picked it up and opened it, and his grin collapsed into a worried frown.
"What's wrong?" Raditz wanted to know.
Nappa said gravely, "It's from King Cold. He said to make sure to vote for Lady Snowflake, or else we're doomed."
The realization that King Cold and Coola were still blackmailing them was slowly coming into the two Saiyans' awareness once more. Raditz slumped against the edge of the judges' table. "We're screwed, Nappa. Either King Cold or Coola will destroy us before Vegeta or Frieza can help us."
"No matter how we look at things, we're dead," Nappa sighed. "I'm tempted to go call Frieza a pantywaist and die by his hand. At least any death like that will be quick. We won't be so lucky with Vegeta or Coola or King Cold."
"I wish we've never been picked," Raditz muttered.
"I wish Frieza never came up with this beauty contest to begin with," Nappa groused.
"What are we going to do, Nappa?" Raditz asked worriedly.
"What does it matter at this point what we do? No matter how we vote, we're not going to live past today. Well, Raditz, it's been nice fighting alongside you and working with you."
"Yeah, same here, Nappa, same here." And neither Raditz nor Nappa spoke for a while.