Chapter Nine: Death Before Dishonor?
Backstage…
With her face still covered with blisters and rashes, Diamonique decided that she was going to take further revenge on Vegeta and Reccoom, but especially Reccoom. She had heard Jaden tell Chestra and Zarbon about Reccoom eating the specially treated facial cream that Diamonique had meant to bring about his ruin. Reccoom was such a moron! And Vegeta still needed to be further punished for running around with Jaden and that Cypress wench! Even though she had heard that Vegeta was not happy with Cypress still, Diamonique felt that the strange soldier deserved retribution. It served that whore right for playing with her Vegeta's heart and keeping him from her!
Cypress, Reccoom, and Vegeta were going down today. Diamonique would have liked to take her vengeance out on Jaden as well, but she feared the Rybanese warrior too much to challenge her right now. Jaden had been known to kill people for annoying her, and it wouldn't take her much incentive to finish Diamonique off once and for all. All Diamonique could do was hope that this "infatuation" between Jaden and Vegeta would wear off quickly. Just what those two could see in each other, she couldn't imagine!
So the Gemstarian warrior held the method of her revenge in her hands: a bottle of a tangy alcoholic drink called Dezarc that was so potent that all it took was one shot to make even the largest, most alcohol-tolerant warrior drunk. She had surrpetiously stolen a bottle from the Elite Lounge And Bar on Tipsy's last day off. In fact, Dezarc had such disastrous effects after more than one shot that Tipsy had long ago forbade himself and his employees from giving any customer more than one small serving per day, and that was only if they hadn't consumed any alcoholic beverages beforehand.
And there just happened to be a huge bowl of fruit punch on the table backstage, where trays of food, including various meats, crackers, breads, vegetables, and desserts lay. Diamonique smiled to herself cruelly; she knew that all she had to do was spike the punch, and Cypress and Reccoom would be so drunk that they would act obnoxiously and ruin their chances of victory. Of course, she knew that meant that if any of the other contestants drank the tainted punch, they'd be affected too, but that would be a small price to pay. Diamonique would only use enough Dezarc to intoxicate those who drank it, not kill them.
Sweetly smiling to herself, as if she were doing a loving deed, Diamonique poured half of the tall, brown bottle of Dezarc into the pink liquid resting in the crystal champagne bowl. The clear amber fluid flowed easily into the sea of punch. After she had finished, she screwed the cap back onto the bottle and crept away.
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Raditz and Nappa were playing with the tips of their tails nervously, as they watched the parade of beauties, dressed in evening gowns of various jewel tones, stroll out onto the stage. All of them were dressed in Many of the contestants Raditz and Nappa already knew as the girls and women who had been chasing the Saiyans for days. Nappa looked out the corner of his eye to see the disgruntled Hectar and Rectaurus sitting in front, glaring darkly at Nappa and Raditz. The bald Saiyan sighed heavily; why couldn't Frieza have let those two Sistrai pervs continue to be judges?
Right above the seats in the auditorium was a floating, oval silver platform, trimmed with soft lights along the edges. An ornate, black, metal railing that was sculpted in shapes of vines and leaves surrounded the hovering platform. This was the VIP platform, where only Cold Empire royalty could sit. A gigantic, gold chair padded with soft, scarlet velvet was for King Cold, where he was currently sitting while drinking a glass of fine wine. Hovering near him was a floating pod with dark blue padded back and double seats, with an occupied one that contained Lady Caldair. And hovering in front of the couple were Coola and Frieza, in their usual personal traveling pods, with Frieza's new personal pod being his birthday gift from Dodoria.
Casting anxious glances every couple of minutes at the Cold family, Nappa pulled on Raditz's forearm.
"Raditz, bend down below the table with me. We need to talk-seriously. Before you object to this idea, hear me out. We know we're likely going to die after today, no matter who we pick, right?"
"Right."
"But let me have my say before we pick anyone."
"No prob, Nappa." At this point, Raditz was up for any suggestions on how to prolong his life after the contest, if possible. He and Nappa bent down under the table to talk.
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Down below in the seats were a myriad of hooting, hollering men of all species who were shouting catcalls, innuendoes, "compliments", offers for dates and one-night-stands, and pick-up lines at the throng of young beauties of various races:
"Hey, dollface, let me jump on your scales and you can let me know how I weigh!"
"Hey, beautiful, I have a present for you in my pants with your name on it! Come to my room tonight to get your free gift!"
"Hey, sweets, I'm great with daggers, but I have a nice one that I know you'd want to see! How about you let me slide that dagger into your nice, soft sheath?"
"Yeah, good-looking, shake that tail!"
"Hey, gorgeous, I like you! How about lettin' me conquer YOUR planets for one night? For the look of you, you have plenty of nice, uncharted territory for me to explore!" A lascivious, crimson salamander-like man with three green eyes eagerly grabbed the tail of one of the humanoid female contestants, even though he knew like everyone else that touching the contestants was against the rules. Excitedly, he tried to climb up on stage and attempted to grab one of her breasts.
Before anyone could intervene to discipline the errant soldier, the contestant herself bent down towards him, seized him by his neck and held him up into the air. The terrified creature immediately released her tail. "Touch me again, bastard, and you'll win yourself a free ticket to hell-but you won't be taking your tail in front with you! Understand?"
The red salamander alien gulped, nodding immediately.
"Now, don't you owe me an apology?" the fierce-looking contestant insisted, shaking her harasser by his slender, leathery neck.
"Sure-sure thing," the salamander-soldier said shakily. "Pl-Please forgive me, Prin-Princess Journa! So sorry, won't bother you again, I promise!"
"That's much better." And with a hard thrust, Journa tossed the reptilian warrior back into his seat. She heard a bone in his tail crack, but she paid it no mind. She smoothed down her black satin, low-cut evening gown that had a slit up both sides, as she followed behind Eclipse.
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As the elegantly dressed contestants strolled around in an oval path, smiling at most of the eager men in the audience, Vegeta's jaw was dangling almost down to his waist at seeing his sister in the contest. Zarbon, who had had the audacity to sit down next to the Saiyan prince in the front row, was chuckling.
"I have to admit, Vegeta, that your sister taught that red slime a lesson, hehheh! That guy is unfortunately, one of our troublemakers. I'm surprised that Journa was entering this year; from what I've heard, she doesn't have a high regard for these kinds of contests.
"I'm going to kill her!" Vegeta fumed, with fists clenched and the large vein in his forehead bulging. "How dare she enter, knowing that I have Reccoom in the contest! Why in the hell didn't she tell me she was entering? Well, I know one thing…if she wins-"
"Then you'll be serving me waffles and eggs in bed tomorrow morning?" Zarbon asked with a smirk. "Hah, no offense, prince, but I have a feeling that Raditz will be more worried at this point about angering your sister. Many men will risk death before their mates' wrath. And, of course, it doesn't help that the lovely Eclipse is entering as well. Looks like Reccoom, as will as you, will be the laughingstock tomorrow."
Vegeta quickly regained his arrogant demeanor. He scoffed at Zarbon with his own trademark smirk, "Don't be so sure, Zarbon. Nappa and Raditz aren't as stupid as you and the other Elites presume them to be. They both well know that if they choose their mates over the other contestants, they won't make it out of the auditorium. And Reccoom's act for the talent portion will steal the show."
"What's his act-more of Ginyu's infamous poses?" Zarbon sneered.
"Oh, you'll find out soon enough, Zarbon," Vegeta told him wickedly. "And then you'll wet your fancy pants when Reccoom is declared the first Mister Miss Frieza. Hope you picked out something nice from Chestra's closet in advance."
"Oh, I have, prince, but it will be for her to wear the next time we are together. She looks exquisite in anything she owns, but I'm sure that you'll look almost as lovely as her tomorrow when you're wearing Journa's prettiest nightwear." Zarbon leaned back, crossing his arms and flashed a triumphant smile at Vegeta. "By the way, if you wear that black lace teddy I heard that she has, make sure you put on the matching garters as well."
Infuriated, Vegeta was about to wipe the smile off of Zarbon's face with his fist, but then Chestra showed up. Chestra was dressed simply, but beautifully in one of her usual outfits that she wore when she was off-duty: a pale rose silk gown that displayed her slim, graceful shoulders and was trimmed above her bosom with delicate mauve lace. It was dressy and casual at the same time, and Vegeta grinned at her devilishly. A devious plan came to his brilliant mind on a new way to get back at Zarbon, and he had lovely Chestra to thank for it.
Chestra sat down next to Zarbon, and before she could speak, Vegeta flashed her his wicked smirk and said, "You're looking very beautiful this evening, Chestra."
"Um…thank you, Vegeta," Chestra told him awkwardly. Zarbon narrowed his golden eyes and scowled at Vegeta warningly, but Vegeta deliberately ignored him.
Vegeta chuckled. "You're more than welcome, my dear. I meant every word. A rare, flawless jewel such as you surely deserves a powerful man at her side, but a man of the highest caliber…say a crown prince, perhaps? You deserve to become a princess, you know, possibly even a queen. Of course only a prince could give you those things, you know. May I ask you something else?"
"I…suppose," Chestra replied uncomfortably.
To Vegeta's triumph, Zarbon's veins were pushing to escape from his forehead, and his right fist was clenched. Zarbon was about to speak, but before he could do so, Vegeta asked Chestra, "Have you ever dated or considered dating a younger man, particularly a handsome, strong warrior of royalty and class? Someone as special and intelligent as you should seriously consider…expanding your horizons, perhaps?"
Zarbon growled, "Vegeta, you should seriously consider just how much longer you want to live! Why, I-" He would have ranted further, but Chestra placed a restraining hand on his arm.
"Don't, Zarbon," Chestra told him firmly. "You're giving Vegeta exactly the reaction he wants. His words are not worth losing your temper over." She then looked directly at Vegeta, staring disapprovingly into his obsidian eyes with her jade ones.
She told him coolly, "Vegeta, you've achieved your goals as far as annoying my mate goes, so you can stop your little game that you're trying to play with me. I am not the least bit interested in you, and I am telling you, no, let's say ordering you, to back off immediately. Do you understand?"
"Hmmph, fine then, I will," Vegeta told her. "Of course the option's still open, if you ever change your mind."
"That won't be while you're alive, I can assure you," Chestra replied sternly. "And after this bet that you have between you and Zarbon has finished, you will cease your baiting. I'm not going to pretend that I approve of what you two have been doing, but I realize that you two will see this silly thing to the end, no matter what. But I can assure you that Zarbon will enter no more such bets with you afterwards for a long time; I've already asked him, and he has agreed."
"Fine with me," Vegeta responded. "But you do realize, Chestra, that this is between us gentlemen."
"Yes, I do," Chestra stiffly replied. "And other than what I told Zarbon and you, I am staying completely out of it." And she leaned back against her chair, crossing her arms. Zarbon looked considerably pained after she had fallen silent; Chestra hadn't hesitated to tell him that the bet between him and Vegeta was ridiculous and childish. He didn't know which was going to be harder for him to take: more of his mate's disappointment, or Vegeta's gloating on the slim chance that Reccoom did win the beauty contest.
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Dodoria was grinning, as he approached the table of treats and punch backstage. A gigantic birthday cake for Frieza rested nearby. The cake had fifteen tiers, and it was frosted with white icing trimmed with dark blue and gold "curtains" on the edges. Dodoria licked his lips greedily at the sight of the cake, but he knew better than to touch it.
He had been disappointed that he couldn't see the contestants in their snug, revealing evening gowns, but the thought of him being allowed to perform his own special birthday surprise act for his beloved Lord Frieza more than made up for it. He had convinced Hickey to let him do it just before the swimsuit session of the beauty contest.
He planned to sing a special birthday song that Captain Ginyu had helped him compose for Frieza. Dodoria was positively giddy with delight at the thought of entertaining his sire and earning further approval (and possibly love?) from him.
He daydreamed of Frieza's small, petite body, long shimmering horns, pouty lips and corrugated tail, as he began to gulp cup after cup of the delicious punch which was sweet and pungent at the same time.
Delicious! Good, even after the tenth cup!
Dodoria belched loudly and sighed contentedly. But suddenly, he toppled to the ground and his head felt swimmy. Yellow and black spots danced before his now bloodshot eyes and a slack grin spread all over his face.
Then the inebriated Dodoria caught sight of a jumbo-sized lidded crate that could actually fit his entire body inside. Next to the box were rolls of streamers in shades of blue, violet, ruby, and green.
He grinned to himself. He just had the inspiration for a new song…and a wonderful surprise for Lord Frieza, thanks to that crate and streamers! Unbelievably, within less than five minutes, he concocted his "surprise" for his sire. With great effort, he managed to haul his titanic body off of the floor.
Happily intoxicated, he bounced over to the crate and streamers, where he saw an open closet full of women's clothing. Dangling from a hanger was an extra-large pair of white leather rhinestone-studded bikini underwear, along several silk scarves in shades of plum, rose, and mint.
Dodoria threw his head back and laughed gleefully. He had just rethought his entire birthday act for Frieza. Wait until Lord Frieza saw this! Then he would finally understand once and for all how much Dodoria truly loved him!
Yes, today would be the day that he, Dodoria, would win Lord Frieza's heart!
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Nappa and Raditz finally allowed themselves to sit up again and feast their eyes on the circulating crowd of gorgeous young women of all species parading around the stage. Nappa whispered to Raditz, "Are we still in agreement with what we talked about?"
"Yeah, Nappa, I'm all for it, and you're right. We're not buckling to anyone's demands as to whom they want to win, no matter what. We may die today, but we'll die with honor."
"Exactly, Raditz. Honor is one of the few things that we Saiyans are able to keep. So, we are not going to allow ourselves to be bullied into picking someone. Instead, we are going to make our own choice, as to who should win the title of Miss Frieza. We, not Vegeta, not Coola, and not King Cold, will decide today who really deserves to win."
"That's right, Nappa, I agree, I agree. Even though we may die, at least we'll die with honor, us having chosen a contestant fairly, on her merits alone, and not because our prince or those two Cold tyrants say so. Today, it will be truly the best woman who deserves to win. It's what we should have decided all along. It is better for us to die on our feet and honorably than live on our knees with shame at our own cowardliness."
"I'm rather proud of us right now, Raditz, my friend."
Raditz chuckled. "So am I, Nappa, so am I. So let's just enjoy our last day while we can and let the best beauty win."
"Yeah, and when we do go out, we'll go out like true Saiyan warriors, not cowards, even if it is just a beauty contest."
The two Saiyans allowed themselves to smile, as the contestants breezily walked past the judges' table, with each lady flashing them a smile. Karilyn walked past Nappa and winked at him. Nappa grinned, and he allowed himself to ogle her for just a few moments.
Then Snowflake, walking tall and queenly, gracefully strolled past the Saiyan judges, and Raditz chuckled. She was gorgeous, even if her father was a threat to everyone and everything in the universe. Snowflake sweetly fluffed her hair at the Saiyan men, looked up into the sky to wave at her parents and smile before she left the judges' table.
After five more contestants came Cypress, and the jaws of Nappa and Raditz dropped to the surface of the table. Vegeta had been right at one time to chase this babe, for she was hot! This beauty had a fluffy, fiery catlike tail that just had to be soft to the touch. Her russet hair flowed down her slender back in cascading waves, and her lilac eyes sparkled. She smiled knowingly at the two Saiyan men, and Nappa and Raditz could barely restrain themselves.
"Hey," Nappa called softly to Cypress, even though he and Raditz were only supposed to be observing and judging the women, not speaking to them until the interview session. "I know we sort of met you the last time that you came to the Elite Lounge And Bar to see Vegeta, but why do I feel like we've known you before then?"
Cypress chuckled, deep and velvety. "Perhaps, you boys just might have. You two never know." And she winked at both Nappa and Raditz before leaving. The two Saiyans stared at her longingly, especially at her breasts, bottom, and tail.
"Now that one deserves to win," Nappa noted dreamily.
"Yeah, I agree totally," Raditz contentedly sighed.
"'Course we'll have to see the other sessions of the contest too, Raditz, but hey, Cypress looks like our potential."
"Ah, what a beaut…Vegeta's one lucky man," Raditz purred. He and Nappa were still unaware of Cypress's time last night with Frieza.
Other women of various reptilian, humanoid, mammalian, and avian species sauntered past them, and the Saiyan judges studied them briefly, with Nappa looking a bit longer at the girls with ample chests and bottoms; the rumors were indeed true about him being a "boobs-and-butt man".
Raditz took a long drink of water, but before he could send the last sip down his throat, he choked on the clear liquid when he saw the last two contestants in line coming towards them. His eyes bulged in horror, and he nearly wet himself. His tail stood up in the air, high, tense, and stiff. He began trembling visibly.
Nappa was still staring at the plump derriere of the last humanoid female contestant leaving the judges' table, so he did not notice Raditz's shocking discovery right away. But Raditz shook Nappa's arm and yanked him towards him.
"Na-Nappa, look! Look who entered! It's beyond our worse nightmares!" Raditz gasped.
Nappa finally saw what had startled Raditz, and he sucked in his breath. No, not this! Anything, but this!
He and Raditz clutched the paper tablecloth on the table, as they trembled violently at the sight of seeing the smiling Eclipse and Journa casually strolling towards them. Journa, only looking partway in their direction, grinned and winked at Raditz. Raditz gulped and wished that he could hide under the table. Eclipse sweetly waved to Nappa and blew him a kiss.
"Raditz," Nappa whispered. "Do me a favor…kill me."
"Only if you kill me at the same time," Raditz insisted, his skin paling, as Eclipse and Journa came closer. Nervously, he and Nappa anxiously played with the scorecards that were to be used for rating the contestants.
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After all the contestants had passed the judges' table, the emcee, Hickey, the small blue mouse-alien with the giant square-shaped ears, had a voice that was always loud and booming, no matter how softly he tried to speak. All the members of his race were like that, and the soldiers in Frieza's army (most of whom were fond of the strange fellow) were used to it by now.
Hickey spoke gently, but his voice still reverberated throughout the auditorium, as his words poured forth, "Well, ladies and gentlemen, you have seen our exquisitely beautiful contestants in their evening gowns. All of them are something special, aren't they?"
"Yeah, you bet they are!"
"Can we take 'em home?"
Raucous laughter spread throughout the men in the audience, but Hickey held up a tiny blue hand to silence the crowd. "Everyone, please! While the ladies are leaving to change their swimsuits, we'll have a brief act in honor of Lord Frieza's birthday today! By the way, Happy Birthday, sire!"
The crowd cheered appropriately.
"And now our lovelies will be leaving for just a few minutes to change into their swimsuits…"
"Yeah, swimsuits and bikinis! YAYYY!"
"I wanna see some thongs!"
"Is topless allowed this year?"
"I sure hope so! I'd love to see some boobs. Lord Frieza oughta allow a TOPLESS session, yes he should!"
"I agree, Hectar, I agree! Better yet a nude session!"
Hickey sighed. Some of the men here today were impossible, but Hectar and Rectaurus were definitely among the worse. He pitied the young ladies this year, as the ladies began walking off the stage single file, listening to the men cheer and hoot after them.
After the ladies left, the mouse emcee cried, "And now presenting…Commander Dodoria with a special birthday song for Lord Frieza! Happy Birthday, Lord Frieza!"
A mixture of cheers and boos filled the audience followed the mentioning of Dodoria's name. And Dodoria did not come out at first.
"Umm…Commander Dodoria?" Hickey asked nervously.
No response.
"Commander?"
Still, silence.
The men in the audience began to boo after Dodoria did not answer a third summons. "Forget the fatso!" Raspberry shouted. "Bring on the babes in the swimsuits!"
"Yeah, swimsuits, swimsuits!"
"Everyone, please!" Hickey begged piteously.
"WE WANT SWIMSUITS! WE WANT BABES! MAKE 'EM HURRY UP!"
At that moment, two birdlike Low-Level men came out onto the stage, reluctantly wheeling a giant crate clumsily wrapped with streamers ranging in colors from blue to green. A heavy, yellow satin bow was resting on top of the crate.
"Commander Dodoria will show soon," one of the Low-Levels, who resembled a giant crow, squeaked to Hickey. Reluctantly, he continued, "He said that a special gift to Lord Frieza is in this box. He said to just shine a spotlight on the box."
"Good!" Hickey exclaimed loudly. "That means we can begin with Commander Dodoria's act after all!"
Boos followed this announcements soon after.
"Who cares? Bring out the babes!"
"Yeah, we don't care about Commander Dodoria anymore!"
"We want women in swimsuits!"
Frieza, in his pod, finally had enough. He floated down from the VIP platform towards the audience. He said chillingly, "There will be no more interruptions. Commander Dodoria will be allowed to perform. I expect silence until the women return. Is that clear?"
Reluctant murmurs of agreement came in response.
"Good," Frieza told them, and he levitated back up towards the VIP platform.
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"Wonderful," Nappa grumbled. "Just what I love to see in a beauty contest-the ugliest thing possible performing another suck-up act to Lord Frieza."
"Yeah, well it could be worse-Dodoria could be stripping," Raditz quipped. He had been deeply worried about Eclipse and Journa now being in the contest. He said to Nappa, "What are we going to do about Journa and Eclipse, Nappa? We can't pick them for winners, can we? If we do, we're going to wind up dead!"
"And if we don't even consider them, they'll never forgive us," Nappa added.
"It's not going to really matter in the end, since we're going to die anyway," Raditz said glumly. "But if we die and don't pick our women, we'll die with them hating us."
"Wait, Raditz," Nappa insisted. "We said that we were going to judge this contest fairly and with honor, remember?"
"Yeah, Nappa, but we're talking about our mates here."
Nappa sighed, "Don't I know it, but Raditz, we've got to stick to our honor, right?"
"Right," Raditz said reluctantly. "I…think."
Nappa sighed again. He understood exactly how Raditz felt. He didn't want to create trouble with Eclipse anymore than Raditz wanted to create trouble with Journa.
Someone must have placed a curse on him and Raditz. Obviously, someone, somewhere was laughing because the judges' mates were now in the beauty contest. Well, if they were laughing, he and Raditz certainly weren't.
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The crate had been emptied off of the dolly, and it began to shake and strain, with the boards loosening. Hickey and the rest of the audience stared at the crate, wondering just what Commander Dodoria had put in it.
Hickey hoped that Commander Dodoria knew what he was doing-and that it wouldn't eventually cost Hickey his life at Frieza's hands.
Backstage…
With her face still covered with blisters and rashes, Diamonique decided that she was going to take further revenge on Vegeta and Reccoom, but especially Reccoom. She had heard Jaden tell Chestra and Zarbon about Reccoom eating the specially treated facial cream that Diamonique had meant to bring about his ruin. Reccoom was such a moron! And Vegeta still needed to be further punished for running around with Jaden and that Cypress wench! Even though she had heard that Vegeta was not happy with Cypress still, Diamonique felt that the strange soldier deserved retribution. It served that whore right for playing with her Vegeta's heart and keeping him from her!
Cypress, Reccoom, and Vegeta were going down today. Diamonique would have liked to take her vengeance out on Jaden as well, but she feared the Rybanese warrior too much to challenge her right now. Jaden had been known to kill people for annoying her, and it wouldn't take her much incentive to finish Diamonique off once and for all. All Diamonique could do was hope that this "infatuation" between Jaden and Vegeta would wear off quickly. Just what those two could see in each other, she couldn't imagine!
So the Gemstarian warrior held the method of her revenge in her hands: a bottle of a tangy alcoholic drink called Dezarc that was so potent that all it took was one shot to make even the largest, most alcohol-tolerant warrior drunk. She had surrpetiously stolen a bottle from the Elite Lounge And Bar on Tipsy's last day off. In fact, Dezarc had such disastrous effects after more than one shot that Tipsy had long ago forbade himself and his employees from giving any customer more than one small serving per day, and that was only if they hadn't consumed any alcoholic beverages beforehand.
And there just happened to be a huge bowl of fruit punch on the table backstage, where trays of food, including various meats, crackers, breads, vegetables, and desserts lay. Diamonique smiled to herself cruelly; she knew that all she had to do was spike the punch, and Cypress and Reccoom would be so drunk that they would act obnoxiously and ruin their chances of victory. Of course, she knew that meant that if any of the other contestants drank the tainted punch, they'd be affected too, but that would be a small price to pay. Diamonique would only use enough Dezarc to intoxicate those who drank it, not kill them.
Sweetly smiling to herself, as if she were doing a loving deed, Diamonique poured half of the tall, brown bottle of Dezarc into the pink liquid resting in the crystal champagne bowl. The clear amber fluid flowed easily into the sea of punch. After she had finished, she screwed the cap back onto the bottle and crept away.
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Raditz and Nappa were playing with the tips of their tails nervously, as they watched the parade of beauties, dressed in evening gowns of various jewel tones, stroll out onto the stage. All of them were dressed in Many of the contestants Raditz and Nappa already knew as the girls and women who had been chasing the Saiyans for days. Nappa looked out the corner of his eye to see the disgruntled Hectar and Rectaurus sitting in front, glaring darkly at Nappa and Raditz. The bald Saiyan sighed heavily; why couldn't Frieza have let those two Sistrai pervs continue to be judges?
Right above the seats in the auditorium was a floating, oval silver platform, trimmed with soft lights along the edges. An ornate, black, metal railing that was sculpted in shapes of vines and leaves surrounded the hovering platform. This was the VIP platform, where only Cold Empire royalty could sit. A gigantic, gold chair padded with soft, scarlet velvet was for King Cold, where he was currently sitting while drinking a glass of fine wine. Hovering near him was a floating pod with dark blue padded back and double seats, with an occupied one that contained Lady Caldair. And hovering in front of the couple were Coola and Frieza, in their usual personal traveling pods, with Frieza's new personal pod being his birthday gift from Dodoria.
Casting anxious glances every couple of minutes at the Cold family, Nappa pulled on Raditz's forearm.
"Raditz, bend down below the table with me. We need to talk-seriously. Before you object to this idea, hear me out. We know we're likely going to die after today, no matter who we pick, right?"
"Right."
"But let me have my say before we pick anyone."
"No prob, Nappa." At this point, Raditz was up for any suggestions on how to prolong his life after the contest, if possible. He and Nappa bent down under the table to talk.
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Down below in the seats were a myriad of hooting, hollering men of all species who were shouting catcalls, innuendoes, "compliments", offers for dates and one-night-stands, and pick-up lines at the throng of young beauties of various races:
"Hey, dollface, let me jump on your scales and you can let me know how I weigh!"
"Hey, beautiful, I have a present for you in my pants with your name on it! Come to my room tonight to get your free gift!"
"Hey, sweets, I'm great with daggers, but I have a nice one that I know you'd want to see! How about you let me slide that dagger into your nice, soft sheath?"
"Yeah, good-looking, shake that tail!"
"Hey, gorgeous, I like you! How about lettin' me conquer YOUR planets for one night? For the look of you, you have plenty of nice, uncharted territory for me to explore!" A lascivious, crimson salamander-like man with three green eyes eagerly grabbed the tail of one of the humanoid female contestants, even though he knew like everyone else that touching the contestants was against the rules. Excitedly, he tried to climb up on stage and attempted to grab one of her breasts.
Before anyone could intervene to discipline the errant soldier, the contestant herself bent down towards him, seized him by his neck and held him up into the air. The terrified creature immediately released her tail. "Touch me again, bastard, and you'll win yourself a free ticket to hell-but you won't be taking your tail in front with you! Understand?"
The red salamander alien gulped, nodding immediately.
"Now, don't you owe me an apology?" the fierce-looking contestant insisted, shaking her harasser by his slender, leathery neck.
"Sure-sure thing," the salamander-soldier said shakily. "Pl-Please forgive me, Prin-Princess Journa! So sorry, won't bother you again, I promise!"
"That's much better." And with a hard thrust, Journa tossed the reptilian warrior back into his seat. She heard a bone in his tail crack, but she paid it no mind. She smoothed down her black satin, low-cut evening gown that had a slit up both sides, as she followed behind Eclipse.
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As the elegantly dressed contestants strolled around in an oval path, smiling at most of the eager men in the audience, Vegeta's jaw was dangling almost down to his waist at seeing his sister in the contest. Zarbon, who had had the audacity to sit down next to the Saiyan prince in the front row, was chuckling.
"I have to admit, Vegeta, that your sister taught that red slime a lesson, hehheh! That guy is unfortunately, one of our troublemakers. I'm surprised that Journa was entering this year; from what I've heard, she doesn't have a high regard for these kinds of contests.
"I'm going to kill her!" Vegeta fumed, with fists clenched and the large vein in his forehead bulging. "How dare she enter, knowing that I have Reccoom in the contest! Why in the hell didn't she tell me she was entering? Well, I know one thing…if she wins-"
"Then you'll be serving me waffles and eggs in bed tomorrow morning?" Zarbon asked with a smirk. "Hah, no offense, prince, but I have a feeling that Raditz will be more worried at this point about angering your sister. Many men will risk death before their mates' wrath. And, of course, it doesn't help that the lovely Eclipse is entering as well. Looks like Reccoom, as will as you, will be the laughingstock tomorrow."
Vegeta quickly regained his arrogant demeanor. He scoffed at Zarbon with his own trademark smirk, "Don't be so sure, Zarbon. Nappa and Raditz aren't as stupid as you and the other Elites presume them to be. They both well know that if they choose their mates over the other contestants, they won't make it out of the auditorium. And Reccoom's act for the talent portion will steal the show."
"What's his act-more of Ginyu's infamous poses?" Zarbon sneered.
"Oh, you'll find out soon enough, Zarbon," Vegeta told him wickedly. "And then you'll wet your fancy pants when Reccoom is declared the first Mister Miss Frieza. Hope you picked out something nice from Chestra's closet in advance."
"Oh, I have, prince, but it will be for her to wear the next time we are together. She looks exquisite in anything she owns, but I'm sure that you'll look almost as lovely as her tomorrow when you're wearing Journa's prettiest nightwear." Zarbon leaned back, crossing his arms and flashed a triumphant smile at Vegeta. "By the way, if you wear that black lace teddy I heard that she has, make sure you put on the matching garters as well."
Infuriated, Vegeta was about to wipe the smile off of Zarbon's face with his fist, but then Chestra showed up. Chestra was dressed simply, but beautifully in one of her usual outfits that she wore when she was off-duty: a pale rose silk gown that displayed her slim, graceful shoulders and was trimmed above her bosom with delicate mauve lace. It was dressy and casual at the same time, and Vegeta grinned at her devilishly. A devious plan came to his brilliant mind on a new way to get back at Zarbon, and he had lovely Chestra to thank for it.
Chestra sat down next to Zarbon, and before she could speak, Vegeta flashed her his wicked smirk and said, "You're looking very beautiful this evening, Chestra."
"Um…thank you, Vegeta," Chestra told him awkwardly. Zarbon narrowed his golden eyes and scowled at Vegeta warningly, but Vegeta deliberately ignored him.
Vegeta chuckled. "You're more than welcome, my dear. I meant every word. A rare, flawless jewel such as you surely deserves a powerful man at her side, but a man of the highest caliber…say a crown prince, perhaps? You deserve to become a princess, you know, possibly even a queen. Of course only a prince could give you those things, you know. May I ask you something else?"
"I…suppose," Chestra replied uncomfortably.
To Vegeta's triumph, Zarbon's veins were pushing to escape from his forehead, and his right fist was clenched. Zarbon was about to speak, but before he could do so, Vegeta asked Chestra, "Have you ever dated or considered dating a younger man, particularly a handsome, strong warrior of royalty and class? Someone as special and intelligent as you should seriously consider…expanding your horizons, perhaps?"
Zarbon growled, "Vegeta, you should seriously consider just how much longer you want to live! Why, I-" He would have ranted further, but Chestra placed a restraining hand on his arm.
"Don't, Zarbon," Chestra told him firmly. "You're giving Vegeta exactly the reaction he wants. His words are not worth losing your temper over." She then looked directly at Vegeta, staring disapprovingly into his obsidian eyes with her jade ones.
She told him coolly, "Vegeta, you've achieved your goals as far as annoying my mate goes, so you can stop your little game that you're trying to play with me. I am not the least bit interested in you, and I am telling you, no, let's say ordering you, to back off immediately. Do you understand?"
"Hmmph, fine then, I will," Vegeta told her. "Of course the option's still open, if you ever change your mind."
"That won't be while you're alive, I can assure you," Chestra replied sternly. "And after this bet that you have between you and Zarbon has finished, you will cease your baiting. I'm not going to pretend that I approve of what you two have been doing, but I realize that you two will see this silly thing to the end, no matter what. But I can assure you that Zarbon will enter no more such bets with you afterwards for a long time; I've already asked him, and he has agreed."
"Fine with me," Vegeta responded. "But you do realize, Chestra, that this is between us gentlemen."
"Yes, I do," Chestra stiffly replied. "And other than what I told Zarbon and you, I am staying completely out of it." And she leaned back against her chair, crossing her arms. Zarbon looked considerably pained after she had fallen silent; Chestra hadn't hesitated to tell him that the bet between him and Vegeta was ridiculous and childish. He didn't know which was going to be harder for him to take: more of his mate's disappointment, or Vegeta's gloating on the slim chance that Reccoom did win the beauty contest.
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Dodoria was grinning, as he approached the table of treats and punch backstage. A gigantic birthday cake for Frieza rested nearby. The cake had fifteen tiers, and it was frosted with white icing trimmed with dark blue and gold "curtains" on the edges. Dodoria licked his lips greedily at the sight of the cake, but he knew better than to touch it.
He had been disappointed that he couldn't see the contestants in their snug, revealing evening gowns, but the thought of him being allowed to perform his own special birthday surprise act for his beloved Lord Frieza more than made up for it. He had convinced Hickey to let him do it just before the swimsuit session of the beauty contest.
He planned to sing a special birthday song that Captain Ginyu had helped him compose for Frieza. Dodoria was positively giddy with delight at the thought of entertaining his sire and earning further approval (and possibly love?) from him.
He daydreamed of Frieza's small, petite body, long shimmering horns, pouty lips and corrugated tail, as he began to gulp cup after cup of the delicious punch which was sweet and pungent at the same time.
Delicious! Good, even after the tenth cup!
Dodoria belched loudly and sighed contentedly. But suddenly, he toppled to the ground and his head felt swimmy. Yellow and black spots danced before his now bloodshot eyes and a slack grin spread all over his face.
Then the inebriated Dodoria caught sight of a jumbo-sized lidded crate that could actually fit his entire body inside. Next to the box were rolls of streamers in shades of blue, violet, ruby, and green.
He grinned to himself. He just had the inspiration for a new song…and a wonderful surprise for Lord Frieza, thanks to that crate and streamers! Unbelievably, within less than five minutes, he concocted his "surprise" for his sire. With great effort, he managed to haul his titanic body off of the floor.
Happily intoxicated, he bounced over to the crate and streamers, where he saw an open closet full of women's clothing. Dangling from a hanger was an extra-large pair of white leather rhinestone-studded bikini underwear, along several silk scarves in shades of plum, rose, and mint.
Dodoria threw his head back and laughed gleefully. He had just rethought his entire birthday act for Frieza. Wait until Lord Frieza saw this! Then he would finally understand once and for all how much Dodoria truly loved him!
Yes, today would be the day that he, Dodoria, would win Lord Frieza's heart!
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Nappa and Raditz finally allowed themselves to sit up again and feast their eyes on the circulating crowd of gorgeous young women of all species parading around the stage. Nappa whispered to Raditz, "Are we still in agreement with what we talked about?"
"Yeah, Nappa, I'm all for it, and you're right. We're not buckling to anyone's demands as to whom they want to win, no matter what. We may die today, but we'll die with honor."
"Exactly, Raditz. Honor is one of the few things that we Saiyans are able to keep. So, we are not going to allow ourselves to be bullied into picking someone. Instead, we are going to make our own choice, as to who should win the title of Miss Frieza. We, not Vegeta, not Coola, and not King Cold, will decide today who really deserves to win."
"That's right, Nappa, I agree, I agree. Even though we may die, at least we'll die with honor, us having chosen a contestant fairly, on her merits alone, and not because our prince or those two Cold tyrants say so. Today, it will be truly the best woman who deserves to win. It's what we should have decided all along. It is better for us to die on our feet and honorably than live on our knees with shame at our own cowardliness."
"I'm rather proud of us right now, Raditz, my friend."
Raditz chuckled. "So am I, Nappa, so am I. So let's just enjoy our last day while we can and let the best beauty win."
"Yeah, and when we do go out, we'll go out like true Saiyan warriors, not cowards, even if it is just a beauty contest."
The two Saiyans allowed themselves to smile, as the contestants breezily walked past the judges' table, with each lady flashing them a smile. Karilyn walked past Nappa and winked at him. Nappa grinned, and he allowed himself to ogle her for just a few moments.
Then Snowflake, walking tall and queenly, gracefully strolled past the Saiyan judges, and Raditz chuckled. She was gorgeous, even if her father was a threat to everyone and everything in the universe. Snowflake sweetly fluffed her hair at the Saiyan men, looked up into the sky to wave at her parents and smile before she left the judges' table.
After five more contestants came Cypress, and the jaws of Nappa and Raditz dropped to the surface of the table. Vegeta had been right at one time to chase this babe, for she was hot! This beauty had a fluffy, fiery catlike tail that just had to be soft to the touch. Her russet hair flowed down her slender back in cascading waves, and her lilac eyes sparkled. She smiled knowingly at the two Saiyan men, and Nappa and Raditz could barely restrain themselves.
"Hey," Nappa called softly to Cypress, even though he and Raditz were only supposed to be observing and judging the women, not speaking to them until the interview session. "I know we sort of met you the last time that you came to the Elite Lounge And Bar to see Vegeta, but why do I feel like we've known you before then?"
Cypress chuckled, deep and velvety. "Perhaps, you boys just might have. You two never know." And she winked at both Nappa and Raditz before leaving. The two Saiyans stared at her longingly, especially at her breasts, bottom, and tail.
"Now that one deserves to win," Nappa noted dreamily.
"Yeah, I agree totally," Raditz contentedly sighed.
"'Course we'll have to see the other sessions of the contest too, Raditz, but hey, Cypress looks like our potential."
"Ah, what a beaut…Vegeta's one lucky man," Raditz purred. He and Nappa were still unaware of Cypress's time last night with Frieza.
Other women of various reptilian, humanoid, mammalian, and avian species sauntered past them, and the Saiyan judges studied them briefly, with Nappa looking a bit longer at the girls with ample chests and bottoms; the rumors were indeed true about him being a "boobs-and-butt man".
Raditz took a long drink of water, but before he could send the last sip down his throat, he choked on the clear liquid when he saw the last two contestants in line coming towards them. His eyes bulged in horror, and he nearly wet himself. His tail stood up in the air, high, tense, and stiff. He began trembling visibly.
Nappa was still staring at the plump derriere of the last humanoid female contestant leaving the judges' table, so he did not notice Raditz's shocking discovery right away. But Raditz shook Nappa's arm and yanked him towards him.
"Na-Nappa, look! Look who entered! It's beyond our worse nightmares!" Raditz gasped.
Nappa finally saw what had startled Raditz, and he sucked in his breath. No, not this! Anything, but this!
He and Raditz clutched the paper tablecloth on the table, as they trembled violently at the sight of seeing the smiling Eclipse and Journa casually strolling towards them. Journa, only looking partway in their direction, grinned and winked at Raditz. Raditz gulped and wished that he could hide under the table. Eclipse sweetly waved to Nappa and blew him a kiss.
"Raditz," Nappa whispered. "Do me a favor…kill me."
"Only if you kill me at the same time," Raditz insisted, his skin paling, as Eclipse and Journa came closer. Nervously, he and Nappa anxiously played with the scorecards that were to be used for rating the contestants.
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After all the contestants had passed the judges' table, the emcee, Hickey, the small blue mouse-alien with the giant square-shaped ears, had a voice that was always loud and booming, no matter how softly he tried to speak. All the members of his race were like that, and the soldiers in Frieza's army (most of whom were fond of the strange fellow) were used to it by now.
Hickey spoke gently, but his voice still reverberated throughout the auditorium, as his words poured forth, "Well, ladies and gentlemen, you have seen our exquisitely beautiful contestants in their evening gowns. All of them are something special, aren't they?"
"Yeah, you bet they are!"
"Can we take 'em home?"
Raucous laughter spread throughout the men in the audience, but Hickey held up a tiny blue hand to silence the crowd. "Everyone, please! While the ladies are leaving to change their swimsuits, we'll have a brief act in honor of Lord Frieza's birthday today! By the way, Happy Birthday, sire!"
The crowd cheered appropriately.
"And now our lovelies will be leaving for just a few minutes to change into their swimsuits…"
"Yeah, swimsuits and bikinis! YAYYY!"
"I wanna see some thongs!"
"Is topless allowed this year?"
"I sure hope so! I'd love to see some boobs. Lord Frieza oughta allow a TOPLESS session, yes he should!"
"I agree, Hectar, I agree! Better yet a nude session!"
Hickey sighed. Some of the men here today were impossible, but Hectar and Rectaurus were definitely among the worse. He pitied the young ladies this year, as the ladies began walking off the stage single file, listening to the men cheer and hoot after them.
After the ladies left, the mouse emcee cried, "And now presenting…Commander Dodoria with a special birthday song for Lord Frieza! Happy Birthday, Lord Frieza!"
A mixture of cheers and boos filled the audience followed the mentioning of Dodoria's name. And Dodoria did not come out at first.
"Umm…Commander Dodoria?" Hickey asked nervously.
No response.
"Commander?"
Still, silence.
The men in the audience began to boo after Dodoria did not answer a third summons. "Forget the fatso!" Raspberry shouted. "Bring on the babes in the swimsuits!"
"Yeah, swimsuits, swimsuits!"
"Everyone, please!" Hickey begged piteously.
"WE WANT SWIMSUITS! WE WANT BABES! MAKE 'EM HURRY UP!"
At that moment, two birdlike Low-Level men came out onto the stage, reluctantly wheeling a giant crate clumsily wrapped with streamers ranging in colors from blue to green. A heavy, yellow satin bow was resting on top of the crate.
"Commander Dodoria will show soon," one of the Low-Levels, who resembled a giant crow, squeaked to Hickey. Reluctantly, he continued, "He said that a special gift to Lord Frieza is in this box. He said to just shine a spotlight on the box."
"Good!" Hickey exclaimed loudly. "That means we can begin with Commander Dodoria's act after all!"
Boos followed this announcements soon after.
"Who cares? Bring out the babes!"
"Yeah, we don't care about Commander Dodoria anymore!"
"We want women in swimsuits!"
Frieza, in his pod, finally had enough. He floated down from the VIP platform towards the audience. He said chillingly, "There will be no more interruptions. Commander Dodoria will be allowed to perform. I expect silence until the women return. Is that clear?"
Reluctant murmurs of agreement came in response.
"Good," Frieza told them, and he levitated back up towards the VIP platform.
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"Wonderful," Nappa grumbled. "Just what I love to see in a beauty contest-the ugliest thing possible performing another suck-up act to Lord Frieza."
"Yeah, well it could be worse-Dodoria could be stripping," Raditz quipped. He had been deeply worried about Eclipse and Journa now being in the contest. He said to Nappa, "What are we going to do about Journa and Eclipse, Nappa? We can't pick them for winners, can we? If we do, we're going to wind up dead!"
"And if we don't even consider them, they'll never forgive us," Nappa added.
"It's not going to really matter in the end, since we're going to die anyway," Raditz said glumly. "But if we die and don't pick our women, we'll die with them hating us."
"Wait, Raditz," Nappa insisted. "We said that we were going to judge this contest fairly and with honor, remember?"
"Yeah, Nappa, but we're talking about our mates here."
Nappa sighed, "Don't I know it, but Raditz, we've got to stick to our honor, right?"
"Right," Raditz said reluctantly. "I…think."
Nappa sighed again. He understood exactly how Raditz felt. He didn't want to create trouble with Eclipse anymore than Raditz wanted to create trouble with Journa.
Someone must have placed a curse on him and Raditz. Obviously, someone, somewhere was laughing because the judges' mates were now in the beauty contest. Well, if they were laughing, he and Raditz certainly weren't.
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The crate had been emptied off of the dolly, and it began to shake and strain, with the boards loosening. Hickey and the rest of the audience stared at the crate, wondering just what Commander Dodoria had put in it.
Hickey hoped that Commander Dodoria knew what he was doing-and that it wouldn't eventually cost Hickey his life at Frieza's hands.