Chapter Fourteen: And The REAL Winner Is…
Somewhere in space, very, very far away from Frieza's mother ship…
Eclipse was cuddled on a weary Nappa's lap, as she stroked his forehead. "Nappa, it was very sweet of you and Raditz to declare both Journa and I Miss Frieza, but you two didn't have to do it."
"We-we didn't?" Nappa asked shakily, speaking for the first time, since he had shoved himself and Eclipse into a pod, slammed the door, and had them launched far into space.
Eclipse kissed him softly on his lips. "No, you two really didn't." And she briefly explained about her and Journa entering the beauty contest as a joke.
"How could you two do that to us?" Nappa moaned, when his mate had finally finished her tale. "Do you realize how much danger Raditz and I were in?"
"What do you mean, other than picking us?" Eclipse asked worriedly.
Ashamed and embarrassed, Nappa reluctantly confessed everything to her, from the time that both Coola and King Cold had blackmailed them, to Vegeta joining in, to the final moments when both Saiyan judges declared that they would die, making their women happy.
He sighed, "I hope someday you can forgive us, especially me, for being such cowards, Eclipse."
Eclipse wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on his forehead. "Oh, Nappa, I wish you had told me. I could have gone to Lord Frieza and told him what was going on. He wouldn't have wanted Lord Coola and King Cold to interfere with his beauty contest or blackmail you and Raditz. If I had known, I could have told Princess Journa, and we would have never entered the Miss Frieza pageant. We made things worse for you two, and it's more my fault than Princess Journa's because I was the first to suggest entering. And now your lives are in danger because of us. It is I who should ask for forgiveness."
"Nah, babe," Nappa said wearily, wrapping his arms and his tail around her. "No matter whom Raditz and I picked, we were screwed. We just didn't want you ladies to, well, be mad at us…yeah, that's it." He grinned weakly. "And after all, I did say you were the only contestant I'd ever pick."
"Oh, Nappa," Eclipse sighed, kissing him lovingly all over his face in slow, comforting kisses. "It will be okay. Listen, I'll contact Lord Frieza in a couple of days and explain everything to him. He might be mad for a while, but I don't think he'll try to harm you two, once I talk to him."
"I don't know, Eclipse," Nappa told her doubtfully. He knew that Eclipse was well liked by Frieza, but even her influence could only go so far. Frieza had never totally forgiven Nappa for claiming the highly desired Eclipse for himself and himself only.
"It will be okay, I promise, really."
He thought that she was being too optimistic, but for now, he would allow her the pretense. He looked at her long, soft hair and lithe curves longingly, gradually feeling his body fill and stiffen with desire. Ah, well, since they weren't going anywhere in particular anytime soon, they could have a little fun. It'd give them nice memories when Frieza finally and eventually would catch up with them.
Grinning and chuckling wickedly, he leisurely pushed up the hem of her evening gown and gently caressed a silken thigh. Eclipse quivered beneath his touch and gasped, "Na-Nappa-"
"Shhh, babe, help Nappa take his mind off of things, will you?" His voice was low and deep and purring, as he kissed and nibbled on her neck.
"Of-of course, Nappa, but are you sure?" She felt herself melting into his embrace, as her own desire steadily increased.
"As sure as I am that you deserve to be Miss Nappa," he told her confidently, covering her mouth with his. "Now, not another word." His hand glided up along her hip, pushing the delicate fabric of her gown along with it.
Raising her arms, Eclipse was happy to obey, as Nappa easily slipped off her gown and continued his unusually tender ministrations.
*********************************************************************************************************************************************
"JADEN?" Vegeta exclaimed. "I kissed you?"
"You didn't kiss a ghost," Jaden remarked, laughing nervously.
"I don't believe this," Frieza moaned. He didn't know whether to be angry with Jaden for deceiving him, or furious with himself for actually trying to bed her. Finally, he decided on both reactions. "JADEN! How could you do this to me and lead me on?"
Jaden's eyes widened, and she snorted. "If you remember correctly, Lord Frieza, I was trying to lead you off."
"I'm going to be sick," Dodoria groaned. "And to think that…" He stopped himself abruptly, looking at Vegeta, who was still lying on top of Jaden. Even in his drunken state, he began remembering how Vegeta had humiliated him in the Elite Lounge And Bar, just shortly before the day of the beauty contest. He began to grin.
"Well, if I wasn't right all along! Hehhehheh! I knew Jaden wanted to screw Vegeta, but Vegeta wantin' to screw Jaden? Vegeta, you may be a prince, but you sure as hell have no taste in women! And you were suckin' face with her just now! Frankly, if I didn't find it so funny, I'd wanna puke. Can't imagine you two as a couple…but I'll have to admit Jaden finally got lucky! Don't know about the princeling though!" And he fell to the ground, laughing uproariously.
"Go to hell, Dodoria!" both Vegeta and Jaden shouted.
Dodoria continued laughing.
Vegeta growled, "I wish I could request permission to rip off all of his limbs!"
"And I wish I could grant it to you," Jaden grumbled.
Frieza clenched his fists, as Dodoria continued to laugh. "Jaden! I demand a full explanation of this, immediately! How dare you do this? What possessed you to pull off this stunt?" He looked down at Vegeta, still in place, and shouted, "Vegeta, get off of her now!"
Vegeta didn't hesitate, and Jaden leapt to her feet. Jaden cleared her throat and before she could explain, Chestra arrived onstage.
"Chestra, this isn't a good time," Frieza told her evenly.
"Actually, sire, I'm afraid I must take my share of blame for my part in this," she replied calmly.
Frieza narrowed his eyes. "You hardly do anything wrong here, Chestra. What could you have to do with Jaden's shape-shifting stunt?"
Chestra laughed uneasily. "Quite a bit, sire. You see, Jaden and I had our own bet going."
"BET?" everyone exclaimed at once.
"Yes, that's right," Jaden spoke at last. "When Chestra told me about that crazy bet Zarbon and Vegeta had going, at first she was annoyed with Zarbon for letting himself get into that mess. But then a devious plan came to my mind-"
"Don't devious plans always come to your mind?" Frieza growled.
"Yes, they do, sire," Jaden admitted cheerfully and freely. "But this one even blew myself away. But first, I admitted to Chestra that I actually was wondering for once what it would be like to be beautiful and sexy and have men fall over me the way they do her and Diamonique. Chestra felt sorry for me, of course, but then she cocked that little head of hers and said, 'Well, you're a shape-shifter, Jaden; why can't you look like you want to for a while? You pose as Lord Frieza when he wants to avoid his brother all the-"
"SHHH!" Frieza admonished her. Lowering his voice considerably, he added, "If my brother ever found out that I had you replace me sometimes, so I could avoid him, neither one of us would keep our heads. Anyway, go on."
"Well, after Chestra told me that, I grinned and said out loud, 'Hey, why not?' Why couldn't I be a babe for once? So I asked her, if she thought I could pull it off, she dared me to try it."
"So this really was some girls' daring game?" Frieza demanded to know.
Chestra smiled sheepishly. "You could say that, sire. I told Jaden that if she managed to keep up her charade until after your beauty contest, I would take her out to a gourmet dinner every night for the next week afterwards. And if she was caught, she would buy me a new wardrobe."
"But things didn't go entirely, as we expected," Jaden admitted. "When Lord Frieza started flirting with me when I went to sign up for that silly contest, I didn't know what to do. I never flirted before in my life, but I figured then, I'd just do what Diamonique normally does when men hit on her. And her tricks worked too well, especially when Vegeta here became interested-"
"Not knowing who you was! You didn't even bother to tell me the truth!" Vegeta insisted, crossing his arms.
"I probably should have, but I would have lost the bet, Vegeta. Anyway…when you started pursuing me, even though you knew it'd blow more holes in Lord Frieza's stomach, I'll admit I was, ah…flattered? But I knew I couldn't encourage either your or Lord Frieza's desires, so I kept trying to put you two off, but neither one of you would give up-"
"Speaking of my pursuit, I demand to know if my father's decree forbidding his women soldiers to mate with my brother or I is true?" Frieza wanted to know.
"It was last time I checked. There's this Lower-Elite I met in King Cold's army from planet Gemstar. She was the one who told me because Lord Coola supposedly propositioned her, but King Cold put an end to it. Course there were those rumors that King Cold wanted her for himself, but that's another story-"
"Of course it is," Frieza hissed, not caring to hear about his father's dalliances. "Anyway, is there anything else you'd like to tell me?"
"Well…I could, sire, but I think you should ask your brother, something that concerns him and Karilyn, I believe," Jaden replied quickly, not wanting to elaborate in case Coola or one of his soldiers was nearby.
"Never mind!" Frieza cried. "But if it's what I think it is…just how would you know that anyway?"
"Overheard," Jaden admitted, hoping fervently that she and Frieza were talking about the same thing.
"Well, Coola will get his, especially when I tell Father on him. He will pay for sabotaging my birthday. He will suffer!" Some amused grins from his soldiers followed because Frieza had sounded like a small child whose sibling had stolen his favorite toy. Of course, no one dared to joke with him about this. Frieza was already in a bad enough mood, and Jaden was just thankful to be alive-although she didn't know how much longer.
"Just what is everyone grinning about?" Frieza demanded to know.
Grins faded into nervous smiles, and no one, not even Jaden and Vegeta, who were among his boldest and most outspoken soldiers, dared to answer him.
"Umm, sire?" Kiwi finally interrupted. "Do we have to judge now between Jaden and Reccoom?"
Jaden shrugged, not really caring, if she won or not. After all, she really had nothing to lose, except possibly her hide, if Frieza decided later that he wanted to punish her for her shenanigans. Reccoom looked unusually nervous, and droplets of sweat clung to his brow.
"Well, I sure as hell ain't votin' for Jaden!" Dodoria croaked.
"And I'm…um, well…" Kiwi was suddenly uncomfortable. He definitely did not want to vote for Reccoom still, as he secretly considered his being in the beauty contest ridiculous because Reccoom was a man. And he feared what Jaden could do to him, if he didn't vote for her. She was the most feared woman in Frieza's army.
But then, Reccoom was a member of the elite Ginyu Force. Reccoom could call upon his buddies to make Kiwi's and Dodoria's lives miserable. Kiwi wished that he were as decided about who should be Miss Frieza as his intoxicated colleague. He hated having to choose between two powerful Top Elite officers, both who could kill him with one finger.
But fortunately, fate would be kinder to the new judges, for at that tense moment, Jaden cleared her throat and said quietly, remembering something, "I'm afraid I can no longer be in the running."
"Wh-why not?" Kiwi inquired.
"According to the rules, shape-shifting or posing as another entity is forbidden, so technically, I'd have to be disqualified." Jaden winked at Vegeta, who looked at her, stunned. He didn't realize right away what Jaden had just done for him.
Frieza affirmed, "Gentlemen, I'm afraid she's correct." And, as he too began to comprehend Jaden's words, horror bloomed upon his pale face. His jaw dropped once more, and his eyes widened, as he shook his head, panting in shallow breaths.
"What-wait a minute!" Dodoria exclaimed. "If Jaden is disqualified, that means that-"
"Reccoom…wins…by…default," Kiwi whispered.
He and Frieza looked at each other, both faces mirroring a terrifying shock that this year there was a MISTER Frieza. The real Frieza's legs felt strangely wobbly, and he suddenly wanted to faint.
"Reccoom wins! Reccoom wins!" Dodoria crowed.
"I don't believe this," Kiwi moaned.
"I won?" Reccoom asked.
"Yeah, you won," Jaden told him nonchalantly.
"YES!" Reccoom exclaimed, jumping up and down like a little boy. "I WON, I WON! I AM MISS FRIEZA!" And he happily ran over to Vegeta, scooped him up in his beefy arms and-hugged him so tightly, that Vegeta couldn't breathe.
"THANK YOU, VEGETA! YOU HELPED MADE ME MISS FRIEZA!" Reccoom crowed happily, holding Vegeta in his arms and prancing around in circles, as gracefully as possible for a tall, bulky man such as himself. Vegeta was extremely embarrassed with Reccoom's embracing him.
"Aren't you going to start singing this Miss Frieza song, Lord Frieza?" Reccoom asked his liege hopefully, still holding Vegeta tightly.
Frieza grumbled, "Yes, I suppose. Congratulations; now let's go get this final humiliation of the day over with, so I can go take an extra long nap."
"Okay, sire, whatever ya say!" Reccoom cried joyously, as he bounded out onto center stage, carrying Vegeta with him. Vegeta's body bobbed up and down, as Reccoom raced around the center of the stage, proclaiming his victory to a shocked audience.
"Alright, Reccoom, congratulations. You won. Now, do me a favor, will you?" Vegeta asked his contestant, panting.
Spinning around wildly, the buoyant Reccoom was dancing and posing in arabesque positions on the stage, in front of an audience of wide-eyed, shaken men and women. "After what ya did for me, Vegeta-anything!"
"Good," Vegeta wheezed. "Now…PUT ME DOWN!"
"Sure thing!" Reccoom cried, and he happily tossed Vegeta to the floor, with the ruffled prince falling upon his tail before he could save himself. He cried out when his short, but massive body nearly crushed his sensitive tail.
"I WON, I WON, I AM MISS FRIEZA…ER, I MEAN…MISTER FRIEZA! I'M MISTER FRIEZA, I'M MISTER FRIEZA!"
Finally climbing to his feet, Vegeta caught sight of Zarbon, who was aghast, mumbling incoherently, as tears hung in his golden eyes. Ignoring Reccoom's antics, Vegeta calmly leapt off onto the stage and strolled triumphantly over to Zarbon's seat.
"No, no," Zarbon nearly sobbed, shaking his head wildly. "This can't be-no, this isn't right! Not fair!"
Vegeta threw his head back victoriously and laughed long and loud, as he placed his hands confidently upon his waist. "Oh, it is fair, Zarbon, hahahahaha! But at least you got to savor your victory for a brief time, even if it was false. Hopefully, Chestra will have something pretty that'll fit you. I've always wondered what nice things she allowed you to view her in; I can't wait to find out! Does she wear garters by the way?"
Zarbon snarled, "Go to hell, Vegeta!"
Vegeta chuckled. "Oh, I'll happy to, Zarbon-as soon as you serve your time with me. Oh, by the way, I haven't decided on what I want for breakfast tomorrow, but I'll send you my menu by the end of the day. Oh, and make sure to include a piece of Lord Frieza's birthday cake, will you? I doubt he'll have much appetite for it today, which saves more for yours truly. See you at breakfast tomorrow!" And turning on his proud heel, the prince sauntered away, leaving Zarbon trembling and trying to hold on to whatever dignity he had remaining.
And poor Frieza, actually almost wanting to die, was standing on stage, next to a happily twirling Reccoom, singing reluctantly, "Here she--er, I mean, he--is...the epitome of all that is wonderful and lovely! Truly deserving she--I mean he--is of all that he now has obtained. So, this year, I introduce Reccoom as Mister Miss Frieza..."
*********************************************************************************************************************************************
Again, somewhere in space, now a very great distance away from Frieza's mother ship…
And again, if sound could carry throughout space, soft sighs and cries of pleasure would have been heard from within a silvery pod carrying a pureblooded Saiyan couple that was enjoying their possible last days of life with their coupling. During their lovemaking, they tried not to think about the coming wrath of a white lizard-like tyrant with horns and a less powerful, but equally dangerous Saiyan prince.
Somewhere in space, very, very far away from Frieza's mother ship…
Eclipse was cuddled on a weary Nappa's lap, as she stroked his forehead. "Nappa, it was very sweet of you and Raditz to declare both Journa and I Miss Frieza, but you two didn't have to do it."
"We-we didn't?" Nappa asked shakily, speaking for the first time, since he had shoved himself and Eclipse into a pod, slammed the door, and had them launched far into space.
Eclipse kissed him softly on his lips. "No, you two really didn't." And she briefly explained about her and Journa entering the beauty contest as a joke.
"How could you two do that to us?" Nappa moaned, when his mate had finally finished her tale. "Do you realize how much danger Raditz and I were in?"
"What do you mean, other than picking us?" Eclipse asked worriedly.
Ashamed and embarrassed, Nappa reluctantly confessed everything to her, from the time that both Coola and King Cold had blackmailed them, to Vegeta joining in, to the final moments when both Saiyan judges declared that they would die, making their women happy.
He sighed, "I hope someday you can forgive us, especially me, for being such cowards, Eclipse."
Eclipse wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on his forehead. "Oh, Nappa, I wish you had told me. I could have gone to Lord Frieza and told him what was going on. He wouldn't have wanted Lord Coola and King Cold to interfere with his beauty contest or blackmail you and Raditz. If I had known, I could have told Princess Journa, and we would have never entered the Miss Frieza pageant. We made things worse for you two, and it's more my fault than Princess Journa's because I was the first to suggest entering. And now your lives are in danger because of us. It is I who should ask for forgiveness."
"Nah, babe," Nappa said wearily, wrapping his arms and his tail around her. "No matter whom Raditz and I picked, we were screwed. We just didn't want you ladies to, well, be mad at us…yeah, that's it." He grinned weakly. "And after all, I did say you were the only contestant I'd ever pick."
"Oh, Nappa," Eclipse sighed, kissing him lovingly all over his face in slow, comforting kisses. "It will be okay. Listen, I'll contact Lord Frieza in a couple of days and explain everything to him. He might be mad for a while, but I don't think he'll try to harm you two, once I talk to him."
"I don't know, Eclipse," Nappa told her doubtfully. He knew that Eclipse was well liked by Frieza, but even her influence could only go so far. Frieza had never totally forgiven Nappa for claiming the highly desired Eclipse for himself and himself only.
"It will be okay, I promise, really."
He thought that she was being too optimistic, but for now, he would allow her the pretense. He looked at her long, soft hair and lithe curves longingly, gradually feeling his body fill and stiffen with desire. Ah, well, since they weren't going anywhere in particular anytime soon, they could have a little fun. It'd give them nice memories when Frieza finally and eventually would catch up with them.
Grinning and chuckling wickedly, he leisurely pushed up the hem of her evening gown and gently caressed a silken thigh. Eclipse quivered beneath his touch and gasped, "Na-Nappa-"
"Shhh, babe, help Nappa take his mind off of things, will you?" His voice was low and deep and purring, as he kissed and nibbled on her neck.
"Of-of course, Nappa, but are you sure?" She felt herself melting into his embrace, as her own desire steadily increased.
"As sure as I am that you deserve to be Miss Nappa," he told her confidently, covering her mouth with his. "Now, not another word." His hand glided up along her hip, pushing the delicate fabric of her gown along with it.
Raising her arms, Eclipse was happy to obey, as Nappa easily slipped off her gown and continued his unusually tender ministrations.
*********************************************************************************************************************************************
"JADEN?" Vegeta exclaimed. "I kissed you?"
"You didn't kiss a ghost," Jaden remarked, laughing nervously.
"I don't believe this," Frieza moaned. He didn't know whether to be angry with Jaden for deceiving him, or furious with himself for actually trying to bed her. Finally, he decided on both reactions. "JADEN! How could you do this to me and lead me on?"
Jaden's eyes widened, and she snorted. "If you remember correctly, Lord Frieza, I was trying to lead you off."
"I'm going to be sick," Dodoria groaned. "And to think that…" He stopped himself abruptly, looking at Vegeta, who was still lying on top of Jaden. Even in his drunken state, he began remembering how Vegeta had humiliated him in the Elite Lounge And Bar, just shortly before the day of the beauty contest. He began to grin.
"Well, if I wasn't right all along! Hehhehheh! I knew Jaden wanted to screw Vegeta, but Vegeta wantin' to screw Jaden? Vegeta, you may be a prince, but you sure as hell have no taste in women! And you were suckin' face with her just now! Frankly, if I didn't find it so funny, I'd wanna puke. Can't imagine you two as a couple…but I'll have to admit Jaden finally got lucky! Don't know about the princeling though!" And he fell to the ground, laughing uproariously.
"Go to hell, Dodoria!" both Vegeta and Jaden shouted.
Dodoria continued laughing.
Vegeta growled, "I wish I could request permission to rip off all of his limbs!"
"And I wish I could grant it to you," Jaden grumbled.
Frieza clenched his fists, as Dodoria continued to laugh. "Jaden! I demand a full explanation of this, immediately! How dare you do this? What possessed you to pull off this stunt?" He looked down at Vegeta, still in place, and shouted, "Vegeta, get off of her now!"
Vegeta didn't hesitate, and Jaden leapt to her feet. Jaden cleared her throat and before she could explain, Chestra arrived onstage.
"Chestra, this isn't a good time," Frieza told her evenly.
"Actually, sire, I'm afraid I must take my share of blame for my part in this," she replied calmly.
Frieza narrowed his eyes. "You hardly do anything wrong here, Chestra. What could you have to do with Jaden's shape-shifting stunt?"
Chestra laughed uneasily. "Quite a bit, sire. You see, Jaden and I had our own bet going."
"BET?" everyone exclaimed at once.
"Yes, that's right," Jaden spoke at last. "When Chestra told me about that crazy bet Zarbon and Vegeta had going, at first she was annoyed with Zarbon for letting himself get into that mess. But then a devious plan came to my mind-"
"Don't devious plans always come to your mind?" Frieza growled.
"Yes, they do, sire," Jaden admitted cheerfully and freely. "But this one even blew myself away. But first, I admitted to Chestra that I actually was wondering for once what it would be like to be beautiful and sexy and have men fall over me the way they do her and Diamonique. Chestra felt sorry for me, of course, but then she cocked that little head of hers and said, 'Well, you're a shape-shifter, Jaden; why can't you look like you want to for a while? You pose as Lord Frieza when he wants to avoid his brother all the-"
"SHHH!" Frieza admonished her. Lowering his voice considerably, he added, "If my brother ever found out that I had you replace me sometimes, so I could avoid him, neither one of us would keep our heads. Anyway, go on."
"Well, after Chestra told me that, I grinned and said out loud, 'Hey, why not?' Why couldn't I be a babe for once? So I asked her, if she thought I could pull it off, she dared me to try it."
"So this really was some girls' daring game?" Frieza demanded to know.
Chestra smiled sheepishly. "You could say that, sire. I told Jaden that if she managed to keep up her charade until after your beauty contest, I would take her out to a gourmet dinner every night for the next week afterwards. And if she was caught, she would buy me a new wardrobe."
"But things didn't go entirely, as we expected," Jaden admitted. "When Lord Frieza started flirting with me when I went to sign up for that silly contest, I didn't know what to do. I never flirted before in my life, but I figured then, I'd just do what Diamonique normally does when men hit on her. And her tricks worked too well, especially when Vegeta here became interested-"
"Not knowing who you was! You didn't even bother to tell me the truth!" Vegeta insisted, crossing his arms.
"I probably should have, but I would have lost the bet, Vegeta. Anyway…when you started pursuing me, even though you knew it'd blow more holes in Lord Frieza's stomach, I'll admit I was, ah…flattered? But I knew I couldn't encourage either your or Lord Frieza's desires, so I kept trying to put you two off, but neither one of you would give up-"
"Speaking of my pursuit, I demand to know if my father's decree forbidding his women soldiers to mate with my brother or I is true?" Frieza wanted to know.
"It was last time I checked. There's this Lower-Elite I met in King Cold's army from planet Gemstar. She was the one who told me because Lord Coola supposedly propositioned her, but King Cold put an end to it. Course there were those rumors that King Cold wanted her for himself, but that's another story-"
"Of course it is," Frieza hissed, not caring to hear about his father's dalliances. "Anyway, is there anything else you'd like to tell me?"
"Well…I could, sire, but I think you should ask your brother, something that concerns him and Karilyn, I believe," Jaden replied quickly, not wanting to elaborate in case Coola or one of his soldiers was nearby.
"Never mind!" Frieza cried. "But if it's what I think it is…just how would you know that anyway?"
"Overheard," Jaden admitted, hoping fervently that she and Frieza were talking about the same thing.
"Well, Coola will get his, especially when I tell Father on him. He will pay for sabotaging my birthday. He will suffer!" Some amused grins from his soldiers followed because Frieza had sounded like a small child whose sibling had stolen his favorite toy. Of course, no one dared to joke with him about this. Frieza was already in a bad enough mood, and Jaden was just thankful to be alive-although she didn't know how much longer.
"Just what is everyone grinning about?" Frieza demanded to know.
Grins faded into nervous smiles, and no one, not even Jaden and Vegeta, who were among his boldest and most outspoken soldiers, dared to answer him.
"Umm, sire?" Kiwi finally interrupted. "Do we have to judge now between Jaden and Reccoom?"
Jaden shrugged, not really caring, if she won or not. After all, she really had nothing to lose, except possibly her hide, if Frieza decided later that he wanted to punish her for her shenanigans. Reccoom looked unusually nervous, and droplets of sweat clung to his brow.
"Well, I sure as hell ain't votin' for Jaden!" Dodoria croaked.
"And I'm…um, well…" Kiwi was suddenly uncomfortable. He definitely did not want to vote for Reccoom still, as he secretly considered his being in the beauty contest ridiculous because Reccoom was a man. And he feared what Jaden could do to him, if he didn't vote for her. She was the most feared woman in Frieza's army.
But then, Reccoom was a member of the elite Ginyu Force. Reccoom could call upon his buddies to make Kiwi's and Dodoria's lives miserable. Kiwi wished that he were as decided about who should be Miss Frieza as his intoxicated colleague. He hated having to choose between two powerful Top Elite officers, both who could kill him with one finger.
But fortunately, fate would be kinder to the new judges, for at that tense moment, Jaden cleared her throat and said quietly, remembering something, "I'm afraid I can no longer be in the running."
"Wh-why not?" Kiwi inquired.
"According to the rules, shape-shifting or posing as another entity is forbidden, so technically, I'd have to be disqualified." Jaden winked at Vegeta, who looked at her, stunned. He didn't realize right away what Jaden had just done for him.
Frieza affirmed, "Gentlemen, I'm afraid she's correct." And, as he too began to comprehend Jaden's words, horror bloomed upon his pale face. His jaw dropped once more, and his eyes widened, as he shook his head, panting in shallow breaths.
"What-wait a minute!" Dodoria exclaimed. "If Jaden is disqualified, that means that-"
"Reccoom…wins…by…default," Kiwi whispered.
He and Frieza looked at each other, both faces mirroring a terrifying shock that this year there was a MISTER Frieza. The real Frieza's legs felt strangely wobbly, and he suddenly wanted to faint.
"Reccoom wins! Reccoom wins!" Dodoria crowed.
"I don't believe this," Kiwi moaned.
"I won?" Reccoom asked.
"Yeah, you won," Jaden told him nonchalantly.
"YES!" Reccoom exclaimed, jumping up and down like a little boy. "I WON, I WON! I AM MISS FRIEZA!" And he happily ran over to Vegeta, scooped him up in his beefy arms and-hugged him so tightly, that Vegeta couldn't breathe.
"THANK YOU, VEGETA! YOU HELPED MADE ME MISS FRIEZA!" Reccoom crowed happily, holding Vegeta in his arms and prancing around in circles, as gracefully as possible for a tall, bulky man such as himself. Vegeta was extremely embarrassed with Reccoom's embracing him.
"Aren't you going to start singing this Miss Frieza song, Lord Frieza?" Reccoom asked his liege hopefully, still holding Vegeta tightly.
Frieza grumbled, "Yes, I suppose. Congratulations; now let's go get this final humiliation of the day over with, so I can go take an extra long nap."
"Okay, sire, whatever ya say!" Reccoom cried joyously, as he bounded out onto center stage, carrying Vegeta with him. Vegeta's body bobbed up and down, as Reccoom raced around the center of the stage, proclaiming his victory to a shocked audience.
"Alright, Reccoom, congratulations. You won. Now, do me a favor, will you?" Vegeta asked his contestant, panting.
Spinning around wildly, the buoyant Reccoom was dancing and posing in arabesque positions on the stage, in front of an audience of wide-eyed, shaken men and women. "After what ya did for me, Vegeta-anything!"
"Good," Vegeta wheezed. "Now…PUT ME DOWN!"
"Sure thing!" Reccoom cried, and he happily tossed Vegeta to the floor, with the ruffled prince falling upon his tail before he could save himself. He cried out when his short, but massive body nearly crushed his sensitive tail.
"I WON, I WON, I AM MISS FRIEZA…ER, I MEAN…MISTER FRIEZA! I'M MISTER FRIEZA, I'M MISTER FRIEZA!"
Finally climbing to his feet, Vegeta caught sight of Zarbon, who was aghast, mumbling incoherently, as tears hung in his golden eyes. Ignoring Reccoom's antics, Vegeta calmly leapt off onto the stage and strolled triumphantly over to Zarbon's seat.
"No, no," Zarbon nearly sobbed, shaking his head wildly. "This can't be-no, this isn't right! Not fair!"
Vegeta threw his head back victoriously and laughed long and loud, as he placed his hands confidently upon his waist. "Oh, it is fair, Zarbon, hahahahaha! But at least you got to savor your victory for a brief time, even if it was false. Hopefully, Chestra will have something pretty that'll fit you. I've always wondered what nice things she allowed you to view her in; I can't wait to find out! Does she wear garters by the way?"
Zarbon snarled, "Go to hell, Vegeta!"
Vegeta chuckled. "Oh, I'll happy to, Zarbon-as soon as you serve your time with me. Oh, by the way, I haven't decided on what I want for breakfast tomorrow, but I'll send you my menu by the end of the day. Oh, and make sure to include a piece of Lord Frieza's birthday cake, will you? I doubt he'll have much appetite for it today, which saves more for yours truly. See you at breakfast tomorrow!" And turning on his proud heel, the prince sauntered away, leaving Zarbon trembling and trying to hold on to whatever dignity he had remaining.
And poor Frieza, actually almost wanting to die, was standing on stage, next to a happily twirling Reccoom, singing reluctantly, "Here she--er, I mean, he--is...the epitome of all that is wonderful and lovely! Truly deserving she--I mean he--is of all that he now has obtained. So, this year, I introduce Reccoom as Mister Miss Frieza..."
*********************************************************************************************************************************************
Again, somewhere in space, now a very great distance away from Frieza's mother ship…
And again, if sound could carry throughout space, soft sighs and cries of pleasure would have been heard from within a silvery pod carrying a pureblooded Saiyan couple that was enjoying their possible last days of life with their coupling. During their lovemaking, they tried not to think about the coming wrath of a white lizard-like tyrant with horns and a less powerful, but equally dangerous Saiyan prince.