Hermione watched him from across the open quad. His smile was eerie, yet charming. He was chatting up a few of the younger Slytherin girls, none of which she really knew by name, but all of whom she hated for the attention he gave them. She wanted to hate him for their end not hurting him as much as it did her. She wanted to tell him that she didn't hate him as much as he thought. She wanted to tell him that their petty arguing was nothing more than her way of pushing him away when she felt he was getting too close.

He'd made it all so clear for her though. He didn't think they could work. He told her it was nice while it lasted but he'd never thought it would go beyond anything of real importance. She wasn't sure if he actually believed that or if he was trying to play it off. But now, as she looked at him, she was terrified that he had meant it.

It was true; they fought constantly, but that had all been part of the attraction. The challenge was always there. The need to best one another, to prove their superiority above the other. Second best was not good enough. Their egos wouldn't allow for anything less. But in their constant fighting they'd found a kinship, a love for learning. He often teased her that his ability came more easily because he was a pureblood, and while that may have been true, she still managed to top him in everything except potions. Most people chalked that up to Snape favoring the Slytherin. But Hermione knew that if he was good at one subject it was potions. He had a knack for it, a fact she often complimented him for.

She sighed as she watched him whisper something to one of the girls and her sudden burst of giggles and blush led her to believe that whatever he'd said hadn't been very gentlemanly. She tore her eyes away from him and looked to her two friends, who had recently gotten over their need to trip, hit, or kick him everytime they were close enough.

It had taken a lot for Harry and Ron to move past her relationship. Ron more so than Harry. She supposed that Harry might not have understood but he respected her enough to know that she was smart and knew that if this was honestly what she wanted then he couldn't deny her something that made her happy. Ron on the other hand had picked more fights than necessary, thrown an underhanded comment when not needed, and constantly rubbed it in his face that he had and probably always would know her better than Draco ever would. It was often a great source for an argument between the boys of who knew her better. Ron would claim that since he knew her longer he knew the inner workings of her soul. She sighed when she remembered the look on Draco's face, the smug twinkle dancing in his silver eyes. He didn't say anything, just glanced over at her and nodded.

She would never admit it to Ron, but he was wrong. Draco knew her; knew her wants, needs, fears, and deepest desires. And at the moment her deepest desire was to go pull the blonde away from him by her hair. He was hers, no one else's. She realized that even through their fighting, there was nothing but respect beneath the surface. When at last she could take no more of his shameless flirting, she stood, causing both Harry and Ron to look at her.

"Where are you going?" Ron asked curiously.

She looked over at Draco, then back at her friends, "Inside. Not feeling well."

Harry looked over at Draco who had taken notice of Hermione when she stood. The smirk left his face as he watched her and Harry shook his head, "Get some rest. I'll check on you later."

She collected her things, "Thanks Harry," and walked inside.

Ron looked over at his dark headed friend, "Not feeling well?"

"She's having a rough time of it, lately."

Realization flashed over Ron's face as he glanced over at Draco, "Do you think he does that on purpose?"

"Probably."

"Do you think he realizes that it hurts her as much as it does?"

"Probably."

Ron fumed, "I'll kill him."

Harry shook his head as he glanced over at the blonde boy who was now trying to untangle himself from the Slytherin he'd been whispering to, "I think he's suffering."

"Oh you do?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yeah. Think about it, Ron. Hermione was sitting outside for fifteen minutes, and that whole time he seems to enjoy the fact that the girl is hanging all over him. And now that she's gone, he wants nothing to do with her."

Ron furrowed his brow, "So he's trying to make her jealous?"

"I'd say it's working, wouldn't you?"

"If we killed him she wouldn't have anything to be jealous of."

"We can't kill him."

"How about beat him up a bit?"

"Won't work either."

They both watched as Draco walked past them, the young girl watching him walk away with a bit of confusion on her face. Harry wondered to himself whether he should stop whatever was about to happen. He knew no real good could come of it. In general, Draco and Hermione were far too different, in terms of family and social upbringing. Hermione was a compassionate loving person and Draco was the snake in the grass you wanted out of the way. He didn't deserve her. He knew it, Ron knew it, and he was almost certain that Draco knew it.

He sighed, wishing for once Draco would listen to the conscience that Hermione swore was in his head.

*~*

She walked silently back to Gryffindor tower and tried to shake off the need to throw up. It had been weeks now. She needed to move on, get over this, but she knew it was going to take a little more time. It was going to take more than time, she feared.

"Granger."

She stopped walking when she heard his voice. She let out a soft sigh and turned to stare into those grey eyes, "What is it?"

"I…" he let out a breath, "I didn't quite catch the assignment for Arithmancy."

She shook her head, "I'll owl it to you."

He caught her arm before she could turn again, "I'd rather get it now, if it's all the same to you."

She frowned and set almost all of her books on the steps. She pulled out the piece of parchment with the scribbled letters on it and sighed, "Here."

He looked up at her, "I don't have anything to write it on."

"Then why ask for it when you don't have anything with you?"

He shook his head, "Forget I asked."

"Afraid I can't since you stopped me in the hall."

"There's no need to get snappy."

"Don't ask for things if you aren't prepared for them to be handed to you."

He frowned, "Excuse me for wanting to keep up with my assignments."

"If that was the case," she said rummaging for a quill and a clean piece of parchment, "you would have copied it down when it was given out in class…"

He watched her as she busied herself with trying to find the things she needed and griped at him at the same time. He smiled to himself. He missed her. He didn't think he would miss her so much, but when he was around her now, it was almost hard to breathe. It made him do stupid things to lose oxygen to the brain. He had the assignment. He'd actually finished it already, he just wanted to speak with her, have her be within five feet of him so he could almost touch her. He missed her. God, did he miss her.

She stood once again, having written the assignment while she was sitting, and handed the parchment to him. "Here."

He reached out and took it from her, purposely allowing his hand to come in contact with hers. She looked at the floor when he drew his hand back. To keep herself from crying, she began collecting her books, her back to him. She didn't want him to see her tears. How could he not hurt? How? That was the one thing she wanted to know. She needed to know, actually.

When she turned, she nearly lost her footing and he caught her before she could tumble down the stairs. He righted her on her feet and brushed her unruly hair from her face, "Be careful, Granger."

He turned to walk away, when she managed to squeak out one word, "How?"

He slowly turned around and looked at her, "What?"

"How…how are you not hurting?"

He looked taken aback by the question, "I…"

"I mean, I thought…I thought we were something important, and two weeks after things are over, you're outside flirting with anything that moves…"

"Who says I'm not hurting?"

"You have a funny way of showing it."

He rolled his eyes, "So I'm not upset enough for you? Is that it?" She was silent, "What do you want me to do? Cease to function? Cry everytime I'm around you? Beat my head against the wall because I was so stupid to let you go in the first place? I don't work that way. You know that," he said the last part in a little more than a whisper. "We're better off this way, we both know it."

"I don't."

He sighed, "Well you should. It would only hurt more later."

"I don't think it could hurt more than this."

He frowned, "Well, it could."

She shook her head, "I find that very hard to believe since…"

"Since what?"

She sighed, "Nothing. Forget it," she said as she turned and made her way up the stairs. He leaned back against the railing and let out a shaky breath.

"You're stupid, you know that, right?" He turned and saw Harry standing at the bottom of the stairs with his arms folded across his chest.

"What do you know about it?"

"Why don't you just tell her you love her already? Personally, I'm tired of watching you try to flirt your way into forgetting what she means to you and I'm tired of seeing her hurt."

He shook his head, "This has nothing to do with you."

"You're right. It has to do with you being too bloody stupid for your own good, you wanker."

"What the…"

"No, listen for once. You're not good enough for her. You don't even deserve a second glance from her. But she cares about you for reasons of the unknown and you're doing your very best to break her heart more and more. So stop being the prat you are and tell her why you ended things."

"I ended things because it wasn't going to work."

"You don't know that for sure. You're scared. Another reason why you don't deserve her. She's fearless because, damn the consequences, she cared about you and let everyone know it. So for you to sit in front of her only a few short weeks after you stomped on her heart, well, it shows that you don't know her as well as you say you do. If you did you'd know that every time you do that and she sees you, it kills her." Harry pushed past him, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go upstairs and try to clean up the mess you've made."

"You make it sound like a job," he said scornfully.

"The only bad part is I can't seem to convince her that you aren't worth her time. For some reason, even though you're a stubborn git, she seems to still want you. That's the hardest part, convincing her that you aren't and never will be good enough for her."

Draco seethed as Harry walked up the stairs and out of his view. The last thing he needed was Harry Bloody Potter giving him love advice. And who was he to say that he loved her. He'd never told her that, so it baffled the mind as to what would make Potter say it. He turned and made his way towards the Slytherin dungeons.

He stopped and punched the brick wall, not a smart thing to do, but neither was letting Potter be right about something. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to tell her how he felt about her if for no other reason than to keep Harry from being right. But he also wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms and kiss her the way she deserved to be kissed.

He shook his head and scowled. He knew it was inevitable. He would have to tell her he loved her. He had to, if for no other reason than to stop seeing that look on her face. The one that clearly showed the anguish in her eyes. How he hated it.

*~*

The next morning at breakfast, Harry tried to involve Hermione in the conversation, but it did no good when all she could think about was her encounter with Draco. Harry had finally talked her into not crying any more. She didn't really feel like eating, just pushed her food around her plate, hoping it seemed to people that she had actually taken a bite.

It wasn't until the mail came that she showed the slightest bit of interest in what was going on around her. She looked around the Great Hall, one person's absence standing out in her mind. Her familiar owl landed in front of her, a package from home attached to its leg. She untied it and the owl went flying off again. The second owl that landed in front of her startled her a bit. She recognized it immediately and she furrowed her brow as she untied the note attached to its leg. It nipped her finger for a treat and she gave it a bite of toast and it went flying on its way. She sighed as she unrolled the parchment.

Astronomy Tower: Midnight

She'd recognize the familiar scrawl from anywhere. Part of her didn't want to go. She wanted to save herself from the hurt than an encounter with him could cause. But she had hope. She tried to squash it down. It didn't sit right for her to have hope in a situation where there was none. He didn't want her. He'd made it obvious. He didn't think they would work, he'd said that numerous times also. But she wanted to believe.

Harry looked over at her, "What does he want?"

"I don't know."

He sighed, "I can go with you if you want. As a buffer. Or I could hex him the first chance I get."

She smiled softly at him, "Thank you, but I don't think it will be necessary."

He nodded, "Alright. But you make sure that over-grown ferret knows that if he hurts you again, I have a shrinking hex that he won't be able to reverse."

She chuckled, "Where did you learn that one?"

"I read it somewhere."

She leaned her head against his shoulder, "Thank you, Harry."

"I would like to say 'anytime' but I really hope that you come to your senses and realize that you can do better."

She gave him a smile, "He's really not so bad."

"This coming from the woman whose heart he's broken?"

She sighed, "I can't help how I feel about him."

"I know." He sighed, "If the git had a brain in his head he never would have let you go. You know that right?"

She shrugged, "So you keep saying."

"It's true."

She patted his hand, "Thanks, Harry."

He nodded and hoped that Malfoy would take his advice and ease her pain.

*~*

He paced around the tower. He had thirty minutes before she was to arrive which gave him time to get his thoughts in order. He needed to figure out what he was going to say to her exactly. He wanted to hold her, tell her he was sorry, that he loved her, but his stupid pride stood in the way. He had ended things weeks ago because he thought she would end things with him. He didn't want to be the one that everyone pitied. But now he knew that she had no intentions of doing such a thing. She still wanted to be with him. Why?

It was his father's fault. The man had trained him well in the art of being cold and uncompassionate. He hated his father. While on the other hand his mother had seemed to push a little of humanity on him. She told him that making enemies of everyone would leave him alone one day. She knew how much her son wanted anything but to be left alone. It was actually one of his greatest fears.

He sighed. His father couldn't hurt him any longer. He'd been sent to prison, which gave him nothing to worry about, it's actually the reason he'd pursued Hermione in the first place. He could do so without dealing with his father's consequences. He's had a slight crush on her for a while. She was one of the few people who would stand up to him not to mention that she was intelligent, something he couldn't say for most of the Slytherin girls. He had a respect for her that only came about after she'd slapped him. He actually kind of liked it, if truth were told.

He turned quickly at the sound of the door opening and he just stared at her as she closed the door behind her. She folded her arms over her chest and sighed, "What did you want?"

"I…I owe you an apology."

She raised an eyebrow, "For what?"

"Being a daft prick."

"It shouldn't be uncommon for you now."

He ground his teeth and groaned, "You know, you're not making this easy to do."

"Well excuse me for being a bit grouchy, but I'm not in the most pleasant mood these days."

He sighed, "And that's my fault."

She shook her head, "No, it's mine, because try as I might I can't get over this and it's making me a very unhappy person. I don't like the person I am now."

He shook his head, "I've made a mess of things and for no reason other than I thought…I thought you would do this to me."

"What are you talking about?"

He frowned, "The day…I broke up with you…I heard you tell Weasley that it had to end. I thought….I thought you meant us. I…I couldn't think about it ending. I wanted nothing but to be with you and…fight with you all the time that the thought of this ending had never occurred to me."

She shook her head, "I didn't mean…"

"I know that now. The Prefects meeting cleared that up when you'd said the fighting between our houses had to end. By then it was too late. I'd made up my mind that it was for the best. As Potter has so eloquently told me and my own heart has screamed at me, I'm not good enough for you."

She took several steps forward until she was right in front of him and began hitting him. He tried to catch her hands but she was not to be stopped, "That's the worse excuse I've ever heard, you ferret-face git!"

He finally managed to grab a wrist followed by the other, "Stop!"

She shook her head, her anger clearly displayed on her face, "You're so damn stubborn!"

He looked at her incredulously, "Me?!"

"Yes. You didn't even discuss this with me. Just told me that you didn't think it would work…that's…"

"True. I don't. One day you're going to realize that you're much better off with someone who isn't me. Someone who isn't cold, somebody more like Potter or Weasley who know how to be polite…"

"If I wanted Harry or Ron I would be with them. But instead I chose to get my heart stomped on by the Slytherin Prince," she said wrenching her wrists out of his grasp.

"What do you see happening between us, Hermione? I would love to hear your vision of our future."

She shook her head, "We don't have a future anymore, now do we? You pretty much ended any chance of that…"

"For the sake of conversation, say we did."

She scowled, "I don't know. But I wasn't afraid to find out, which is more than I could say for you," she said as she turned on her heel and walked towards the door.

He grabbed her and pulled her back to his chest, "I couldn't deal with the uncertainty," he whispered. "I wanted you and nothing else would be enough. I'd never felt that way before. So the thought of you one day leaving me because you saw something in me you hated…I couldn't deal with it."

She shook her head, "You should have told me all of this before."

"But I didn't know how. I'm not…I don't understand what I feel most of the time when you're around me. It scares me out of my mind that I have all these emotions floating around inside of me and I can't put any of it into words."

"You could have tried," she sighed, "You didn't have to…"

"I did. I had to. But it wasn't until I lost you that I realized that being alone, being without you, wasn't what I wanted."

She lowered her head and sighed, "So now you know how you feel about me? Is that it?"

He shook his head, "Not exactly. You confuse me, I confuse me, but I know I don't want to be without you anymore. I've done it for two weeks now and it's killing me to see you and know that I hurt you when it all could have been prevented. It hurts so much to see you sad, or just to look at you and know I can't touch you."

She frowned, "So you want me to forgive and forget?"

He sighed, "You can't just forget. We both know that."

She turned to look at him, "And what happens the next time your insecurities get in the way? Will you do the same thing? Have you learned anything from this?"

He sighed, "I can't swear to you that I won't do this again. I can't see into the future, but I can tell you that I don't want to hurt you…"

She shook her head, "I can't…"

"Hermione, I need you."

She looked up at him, "You can't do this to me," she whispered.

"Do what?"

"You can't just send me away and then change your mind when you're lonely…"

"That's not what I'm doing."

"Well that's what it feels like."

"I…I don't mean for it to."

She shook her head, "You would get mad at me for pushing you away…but you did the same to me only told me you didn't want to be with me. But now, after a few weeks alone, you've changed your mind. Tell me what it's supposed to feel like."

He sighed, "I just…I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I'm sorry you did too. Because I can't do this right now…"

"Hermione, please don't leave."

She sighed, "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to stay."

She shook her head, "You just don't want to be alone."

He stood up straight and took a step away from her, "If that's what you really believe, then you can go."

"What am I supposed to think, Draco?"

"You're not supposed to think anything. I told you I wanted to apologize for hurting you and I did that. If there's nothing else I can say…"

She shook her head, "That's such a round about way of telling me that you can't say what you know I want to hear."

He looked up at her, "What is it that you want to hear?"

She turned and opened the door, "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

She closed it behind her and allowed the tears to finally roll down her face. He was there telling her he wanted her back and she couldn't be happy with that. Instead she put an ultimatum on him. One where she might never get what she wanted. Why did she do that? She wanted to open the door and tell him she was being stupid. She just wanted him to hold her, but she couldn't have that. She needed to hear him say he loved her.

She took off down the stairs when she heard him approaching and heard his quick footsteps behind hers. He was trying to catch up with her, and she wouldn't have it. He caught her elbow and spun her to him, "Just let me go," she whispered.

He lifted her chin and saw the tears racing down her face, "I can't."

"Please. Let me go. Filch is going to catch us…"

"Let him."

"Draco…please."

He leaned down and kissed her softly, his hands holding her face, making it unable for her to pull away. She tried to resist him, but she knew better. Once his lips were on hers, nothin else mattered. She had missed his kiss, the way his fingers would dance in her hair as he kissed all the breath from her body. When he kissed her this way, she felt like everything could be perfect. She felt like maybe things could be the way they were before.

But they couldn't. She knew that. And when he broke the kiss she fully intended to tell him so. It wasn't until they heard the loud meow of a cat that they pulled away. "Mrs. Norris," he whispered, seemingly as dazed as she was.

She took his hand in hers and they both ran the opposite way in which the cat had appeared. She quickly gave the password to her room and they both climbed through the portrait hole as Mrs. Norris rounded the corner, a soft lantern light glowing on the wall behind her as Filch was approaching. She closed the door in time as both were trying desperately to catch their breath. He was leaning against the wall, holding himself up as leaned against a chair to keep her balance.

He looked over at her and sighed, "You alright?"

She nodded as she took a seat in the chair, "You kissed me."

He nodded, "I know."

She shook her head, "Why did you kiss me?"

He moved to kneel in front of her, "Because I want you. You can't argue with me and tell me I hurt you when I'm kissing you."

She shook her head, "That's not fair," she whispered. "It's not fair that…I lose my ability to think when you kiss me."

He sighed, "No one ever said life was fair."

She touched his face, "No they didn't."

"I miss you, Hermione."

She swallowed the lump in her throat, "I miss you too. But you hurt me…"

He sighed in frustration, "And I said I was sorry."

"Sorry doesn't make the hurting go away. You told me you didn't want to be with me."

"That's not what I said."

"That's what I heard."

"So what are we supposed to do? Pretend that we mean nothing to each other? Walk around this school and see one another every day and not wish for things to go back to the way they were?"

She shook her head, "No. We can't go back."

"Then what, Hermione? You tell me, because I don't know what the fuck is going on here. One minute I'm thinking that you want me back and the next…well the next you're telling me I hurt you too badly."

"Which seems to be something you don't care too much about."

"Are you mad? I care more than I should! I hate, absolutely hate, to see you unhappy and the only thing that hurts more than that is to know that I caused that! I could have prevented it but my stupid pride got in the damn way and I hurt you first."

"The first sign of trouble you gave up, Draco. What am I supposed to do? Hope that next time you won't be so…stupid and repeat your mistake?"

"And you've never made a mistake?"

"I never said that?"

"That's what it sounds like to me. I make a huge mistake and I don't get to fix things. But you're allowed to make all the mistakes you want and I'm not supposed to say anything…"

"You're not even making sense anymore!"

"Why can't you just forgive me?"

"Because I loved you and you didn't care!"

He looked at the floor as he stood, "You're right. I don't care. I mean, heartless Draco Malfoy doesn't care about things like love. So why are we still having this conversation?" He walked to the portrait hole and left before she could even get a word out.

She put her head in her hands as tears rolled down her face.

*~*