Summer Paradise in December

Ch. 12 - Not Yet

            Summer pulled Seth inside her small hotel room and sat him down on the bed.  "No", Summer said.  "I need to talk.  You need to listen."

            "Summer, after what you did I don't think you deserve the luxury to tell me what to do", Seth said in a slightly harsher tone than intended. 

            None the less Summer went on with her original game plan.  "Maybe you're right Seth but I really have to get some things off of my chest", Summer said as she started her long monologue.  "Seth.  I don't know what I was thinking when I semi-kissed/kissed that guy out there.  Honestly.  I don't want you to think that just because you weren't there I thought that I could be all over some other guy.  The truth is, he came onto me first.  That is totally not a line.  I swear.  Ok, this is what happened.  I'm going to tell you even if you don't want to hear it.  At first I was just lying on the pool deck on the reclining chair thing", Summer said.  "Then this guy walked up and he was like "Hey, is this chair taken", while he pointed to the one next to me.  And I was like "No."  Then he was like "Cool.  Mind if I sit here?"  Of course, I said sure being the gracious person that I am".

            Seth rolled his eyes at this comment and Summer continued.  "The he sat down and then he was like "Hey wanna get in the pool?"  Then I said "Sure."  I didn't think that any harm would come in getting the pool.  I mean we weren't doing anything illegal", Summer said justifying her reasons.  So we were just like relaxing in the pool for like three minutes, then he started like tickling me.  I was trying to pull away but he was really strong.  Then he stopped tickling me.  It totally seemed like he was flirting with me so I told him I had a boyfriend.  Then he kissed me as if he hadn't heard a single word that I had just said.  That's when you walked by.  And I know that it looked like we were like kissing for a really long time but we weren't.  You were probably just in shock or something.  Plus he wouldn't let go of me.

            Seth scoffed.  "I'm so sure."

Summer looked hurt by this comment but continued anyway.  Then after you called my name and walked off I slapped him.  Which you probably didn't see.  Obviously, since you had already walked off, so you couldn't have seen it.  And you wouldn't have heard me call him an ass and tell him to get lost either. 

Seth contemplated what he should say next.  "Summer", he began.  "I love you.  You know that.  And I can forgive you for what you did but I can't forget.  And I can't get back together with you right now.  Because even though you say he came onto you first, with the kissing and all.  Letting him sit down by you in the first place was in a way flirting on your part too.  And I think that if we got back together right now I would have serious trust issues.  I'd always be wondering what you were doing and who you were with when you weren't with me.  And if I'm in a relationship, I want to trust the other person wholeheartedly.  Maybe this relationship could work, but definitely not here and not now.  Plus I need sometime to think about…stuff", Seth said hesitantly.  And as I'm sure you've heard, absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Summer smiled at Seth's corny old proverb reference.  Seth was serious though and what he had said was not meant to be a joke.  "So let's just take some time and I need you to really think if you are committed to this relationship wholeheartedly.  And I want to know that if you get bored you're not just gonna go off and start sleeping with other guys.  If you want to break it off, tell me and don't lead me on.  Because that would hurt me more than if you just ended it when your feelings for me ended", Seth finished. 

Both sat awkwardly in silence for what seemed like a long time when Summer spoke.  "I agree, I think we should take some time. I'll get back to you about all of that stuff that you said.  But, Seth", Summer paused.  "Can we at least be friends until we decide how we truly feel?"

"Summer", Seth said.  "I know how I feel but if you wanna be friends then I guess we should be friends."  Seth hugged Summer then turned around and walked back through the door the way he came. 

Summer closed the door to her room and laid down on the bed.  After about thirty seconds she let the tears fall freely.  She didn't need time to think.  She knew how she felt.  She loved Seth and that would never change.  Though the guy had come onto her first, she was still in the wrong because she was involved in the whole situation.  She knew how Seth felt.  Actually, she didn't.  Sure, she had found out from Marissa numerous times that her boyfriend was sleeping with other girls.  But she had never been in love with any of those guys.  She hadn't had her heart broken because she hadn't really cared.  All of her previous boyfriends were just a distraction.  A distraction from her home life.  The life where her dad was never home.  Where her real mom had abandoned her at the age of ten and her step-mom was addicted to every drug ever known to man kind.  But she didn't need those distractions anymore because she had found Seth.  Maybe it had taken her a while (seven years to be exact) but that didn't matter because she had him now.  Rather, she didn't have him now.  And she didn't know if she would ever have him again.  And that was why she sobbed into the plush covers of her bed for close to an hour.  Because she had lost the only person who she had ever truly cared about.  But mostly because she had lost the only person that had ever truly, sincerely, cared about her.

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            Seth walked back into his room and flipped on the TV.  He wasn't watching it; he was just bored and decided to turn the TV on.  He was bored because he didn't have Summer.  When he and Summer were together he was never bored.  Not only because of the constant make out sessions, but because they always found something to talk about.  Even if it was some silly topic like why the different channels were numbered as they were.  They always talked about stupid stuff like that.  Because no matter how stupid it seemed to others, to them it was the most intriguing debate ever because they were having it with each other.  Seth never in his wildest dreams would have imagined falling in love with Summer and having her reciprocate those same feelings.  And of course he had ruined it.  He wanted Summer, but he didn't want to get hurt.  He was afraid.  This was the honest truth.  He was afraid that Summer would get bored, cheat on him and then leave him.  He knew he would never love anyone as much as he loved her.  Despite that fact, He couldn't get back together with her.  Not yet anyway.  He would make her wait.  Make her prove to him, that she loved him as much as he loved her.  Because if she didn't, then Seth was just wasting his time.

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A/N- Sorry it took me so long to update.  I've had a lot of hw lately.  But I do have a whole week off of school from the 16-22.  So I am going to try to update everyday.  I will try, that is not a promise cuz I do have a project to finish which I left till the very last minute.  Hehe, lol.  Yes I procrastinated.  But anyhoo, I just want to thank all of you who have been such loyal readers throughout my whole story.  Don't forget to leave a review.  Thanks!