He sat in front of the fire, just staring at the dancing flames. She wanted
him to tell her he loved her and she wanted him to mean it. If he said it
he would mean it. But the problem was if he could or not. He'd never said
it before and wondered at what he was so afraid of.
He didn't know if it was the thought of handing his heart over to someone or just the thought of the unknown, the unexpected rush of emotions he felt when he was with her. He did love her. He knew that. Whether or not he could put a voice to that feeling or not was what escaped him. He wanted to tell her, and maybe he needed to do it quickly and get it over with. But what would happen one day when she woke up and realized that he wasn't what she wanted or needed in her life? What if she stopped loving him one day?
He knew the chance of that was great, given that when he really thought about it, they were still children. But if he told her how he felt and they grew apart over time, wasn't that better than just ending it where it was now? He would at least get to say that he loved someone as much as he possibly could while he was able to. And for all he knew, Hermione Granger could be the great love of his life. He shook his head, wondering if he really believed in that sort of thing to begin with.
But he did love her. She at least deserved to hear it from his lips just once. Even if he never said it to her again, she should hear it just once from him. She was the only person to ever really give him a chance. Not out of fear or respect for his father, but out of respect for him. He hadn't been proud of the person he was before he'd been with her. She made him feel like he was worth something, like he could be great at whatever he did. She looked at him and saw who he really was, not who he had been. And she loved him. That was enough for him. She loved him when she didn't have to. She loved him when she probably knew that it wasn't the smartest thing to do. She loved him when he thought no one else ever would. She loved him even though there wasn't much hoping of it lasting for very long.
He wasn't sure if he really deserved her or not. He'd been debating with himself over this. He could provide her the kind of life she deserved. She deserved only the best and he gave nothing but the best. She needed to be pampered and held and loved for the rest of her life and he felt he was the only person who could ever do that properly. But it really had no future. Even in the wizarding world, relationships that start young rarely survived due to people finally growing up and realizing they aren't happy. That was what he really feared.
He didn't want to become one of those people. He was happy with her now but could he be happy with her twenty years from now. Would her constant need to be right finally drive him mad? Would his need to best everyone drive her from his arms? There were so many questions and no answers laid before him. He needed solid facts to go on; he needed all the answers now to be sure that what he had with her wouldn't leave him questioning everything for the rest of his life. He didn't want unfinished business when he died. He just wanted to be happy, to have her and be happy. But there were so many complications before him that he wasn't sure he should even try.
She was worth the effort in his mind, but he would always wonder if she really loved him or if she was staying with him only because she saw no way out. He leaned his head back against the sofa and sighed. He wasn't sure what he was going to do. With such a bleak outlook for their future he didn't know if he should put them both through that. But Hermione was the type of woman that should know she's loved.
"When did this all get so complicated?" he said to himself.
*~*
He walked with an air of determination through the school. He nearly knocked a few first years down as he passed through the halls. He would check her room, and if she wasn't there, the library. He knocked on the portrait hole and waited. Nothing. He turned and went in the direction he came from, his footsteps all taken with one purpose in mind: find Hermione.
He opened the door to the library and paid no mind to the various looks of confusion and contempt that passed people's faces when he entered. He held his head high and moved through the shelves to the back table he knew she would be sitting at. But when he got there he stopped in his tracks to see Hermione and Ron hovered a little too closely for his comfort. The red- headed boy had his arm propped over the back of her chair as she read something from a book.
He always knew that Weasley wanted her. And if body language said anything, he was probably thinking about taking her on that very table, and he just couldn't have that.
"What are we reading?" he said as he sat down opposite them.
She sat up straight as he sat across from them. She noticed that his eyes never left Ron, who seemed to be staring him down as well. 'Men' she thought to herself. "Astronomy," she said softly.
He smirked, and not the friendly smirks that she'd become accustomed to. It was the nasty, malicious smirk she'd seen in the past. She sighed as Ron spoke, "Bugger off, Malfoy. No one wants you here."
His eyes flickered over to Hermione and they locked eyes for a moment, "Someone wants me here," he said, a little too smug for her tastes. "Besides, Weasel, I didn't come to see you anyhow. So scamper along and find Potty. Sure you two have someone who needs saving."
"I'll stay right here, if it's all the same to you."
"Go on, leave. I have to talk to Hermione and I certainly won't say what needs to be said in front of the likes of you."
She closed the book hard, "Enough. Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of Ron."
The self-satisfied look on Ron's face was enough to make Draco want to wretch. He stood, "No, I can't. So, Granger," he growled angrily, "if you can somehow separate yourself from this drivel, come find me. But you never know, I might not feel the same way then as I do now."
And with that he turned and left before she could even say a word. "Good riddance," Ron muttered. He looked over at Hermione's stricken face, "Are you really that unhappy about him leaving?"
She took a shaky breath, "He called me Granger."
"He's always called you Granger."
She shook her head, "No...he...he stopped once we were dating. He...we made an agreement that we wouldn't call one another that because it was...because if we really cared about one another we would call one another by our real names."
Ron sighed as he watched Hermione try and hold herself together, "Hermione, you can't..."
She sighed, "Please, just...not now, alright, Ron?" she said as she gathered her things and left the library.
*~*
He was staring out at the lake, watching as the squid had obviously caught something and was in the process of eating whatever it was. He was angry. Both at him and at her, not to mention his hatred for Weasley was fueled even more than usual. He'd gone there to tell her how he felt and was stopped by one of her bloody friends.
He folded his arms over his chest, wishing he had something to punch and make it feel as horribly as he did. He called her Granger. He promised her he'd never call her that again. But she had called him Malfoy a few short days ago. But that was to a teacher and most of them still didn't understand their relationship. He called her Granger to her face, in anger. He hated that he sometimes couldn't control his temper.
He turned and made his way back to the school. He opened the door and stopped when he found Hermione sitting on the steps, her head in her hands as she cried softly. He ran a hand through his pale hair and sighed, alerting her to his presence. She looked up with watery eyes scowled at him, "How long have you been standing there?"
"I just came in."
She gathered her things then wiped her face. He took the stairs two at a time to get close to her quickly. He grabbed her hands and stilled them as she was trying to wipe away traces of her sobbing. He removed a handkerchief, and sat down beside her. He slowly wiped the tears from her face and sighed, "I'm sorry."
She frowned, "You called me Granger."
He sighed, "I know. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that."
"No, I didn't."
He looked at his hands, "I had come there to talk to you, and I found you all huddled up with that...with Weasley, and I just...I was angry."
"So you lashed out at me?"
"I meant to just lash out at him, but then you defended him and I...I never said I was mature."
She sighed, "What did you want?"
He chewed on the inside of his mouth as he looked at her, "You."
She closed her eyes and lowered her head, "Draco..."
"Wait...wait, let me finish." He took a deep breath, "I've done a lot of thinking. I've never...been in love before." Her eyes widened slightly at him as he said the word love, "So you have to understand that these things I'm feeling for you are more confusing than anything I've ever experienced." He frowned, "I know I'm stupid and all, but I really am sorry for what I did. I know you don't really trust me and I can't really say that I blame you."
"And?"
He took a deep breath, "If I tell you...if I was to say it, there might be a chance that I won't even be able to say it again. But you deserve to know how I do feel about you."
She waited for him to say something, "Yes?"
He looked at her, "You have to promise me something."
She sighed, "Alright."
"If...if at any point, you feel yourself...falling out of love with me, would you please tell me. I can't sit around and wait for you to tell me that you don't feel that way about me, I can't just wake up one day and find you gone. I want a bit of a warning."
She nodded, "I can do that."
"One more thing."
She raised an eyebrow, "You're asking me to make a lot of promises for something you haven't even said to me yet."
He sighed, "I'm trying with all my might to protect myself from getting my heart crushed here. So, listen to me before you start making fun."
She nodded, "Alright."
"You...have to agree that you will at least consider taking our relationship to the next level."
"Meaning?"
"I'm not saying you have to jump into bed with me. I'm just saying...don't push me away all the time."
She bit her lip, "Draco, I think we're jumping ahead here..."
He nodded, "Yeah," he said, rubbing his hand over her knee, "I know. But you have to understand that I want you so badly, sometimes, that it makes moving hurt."
She frowned, "So you want what from me, exactly?"
"I want...I want you to at least think about it. There are other things we can do besides..."
She nodded, "I know. I just...I get scared..."
"Of me?"
She shook her head, "No. I know you wouldn't hurt me. It's just...sex seems so final to me. Almost like I don't know what to expect after sex, you know?"
He sighed, "Hermione, I'm not meaning this to pressure you...and I don't want to just jump into bed with you. I don't mind taking a few...baby steps here and there. But we have to move forward a bit or we're going to end up here again."
She covered his hand with hers, "Alright. I'll think about it."
He gave her a nervous smile, "Alright."
They sat in silence for a minute, "Draco?"
"Yeah?"
"Isn't there something you wanted to tell me?"
"Oh," he nodded, "yeah, uh...Hermione..."
"There you are! I've been looking all over for you since you left the..." Ron stopped talking when he saw Malfoy sitting beside her. Harry looked at the pair and smirked. "What's going on?" Ron asked.
Draco clenched his jaw and gave Potter a look, clearly telling the boy to get the hell out of there now. "Come on, Ron. Ginny was looking for you earlier."
Ron looked over at Harry, "No she wasn't...ow!" he said when Harry elbowed him. "What did you go and do a thing like that for?"
"Come on," he said turning and going back in the direction they came.
Ron followed behind Harry, "I don't understand, I thought we were coming to find Hermione, we found her with Malfoy, and now we're leaving her along with the snake?"
Harry stopped walking, as he rounded the corner and Ron nearly bumped into him, "Did it ever occur to you that maybe she's happy to be alone with that snake?"
"Well...no. But who in their right mind would? Besides, she was mad at him."
"Looked to me like she'd forgiven him, wouldn't you say?"
He shook his head, "You know, it's almost scary how you're almost bouncing about this whole thing. You should be just as grossed out as I am and here you are, almost smiling about it."
Harry sighed, "I'm just glad that she's going to be happy again."
"I still say he's not good for her."
"I agree with you, but I don't think it's our place to say so. Besides, maybe she'll have him so distracted that he'll be off his game in Quidditch and we can just breeze by them."
Ron shook his head, "But unleashing Malfoy onto Hermione is hardly fair to her, just for us to win Quidditch."
Harry smiled and began walking again, "I don't think she'll complain very much."
Hermione looked back at Draco as her friends left, "You were about to say something to me."
He furrowed his brow, "I was?"
She sighed, "Draco..."
He smirked, "Alright." But before he said anything else he stood and looked in every direction.
"What on Earth are you doing?"
"Making sure no one's coming. We seem to get interrupted more than I would like."
She smiled, "Well, I don't think anyone is coming."
He took her hand in his and sat back beside her, "Alright. Here goes..." he took a deep breath, "Hermione...I...I love you."
She was silent at first, then grinned, "Now was that so hard?"
"Honestly? Yes."
She sighed, "You know that I love you too, right?"
He nodded, "Yeah. Still a hard concept for me to grasp."
"What's that?"
"That someone loves me. I mean..." he sighed, "my father...I always feared and respected him and he...he didn't really love me. And my mother...well, she doted on me, but always more for what others would think. Never really because she cared. It's just hard to believe that there is finally someone who...loves me, even with all my faults."
She cupped his face in her hands, "Don't you think, that even with all the things you've done, that you deserve love?"
He looked down, "No. I don't."
She sighed, "Well, I guess it's a good thing for you that I don't believe silly things like that. Everyone deserves love. Even little snakes in the grass such as yourself."
He smirked, "I'm glad you think so." He shook his head and grinned as he stood, "Come on."
She looked up at him curiously, "Where are we going?" she asked as she put her hand in his and allowed him to lead her down the stairs.
"We're going to my room for a nice snogging session."
She chuckled, "I should have known."
"Of course you should have." He said the password and pulled her in behind him, "We have to make up for lost time."
She smiled as she moved into his arms, "Well, we can't stay here too long. We're both on duty tonight."
He smirked as he sat on his sofa and pulled her down to him, "I have very different plans for us than you obviously do."
She smirked as she leaned in and placed a kiss on his lips, "Obviously."
He cupped her face and pulled her back to his lips. He was immediately lost in how much he truly missed her. Her touch, her taste, the feel of her; all things he thought he could possibly live without. In that instant he knew he couldn't have been more wrong.
*~*
Five Years Later
He passed through Diagon Alley on his way back to the Leaky Cauldron. He'd had a short meeting that morning, which caused him to leave home earlier than he had planned. He smirked at the various women passing by him, all throwing him a second glance.
If there was one thing he knew it was that he was attractive, more than most people would care to admit. Namely one Harry Potter, his newest business associate. Due to his parents' rather large fortune they had left him, he'd had money to invest and no real direction for where to steer it. That's where he came in. He gave Harry a place to direct his rather large sum of money in a lucrative broom business. So far, their prototype was faster and had better breaking ability than any other on the market. They just had to get them produced and out to the people.
That was his meeting this morning. He was meeting with a Quidditch supplier to discuss shipment and distribution. He wanted their product out there as quickly as possible and the time to delay was not allowed. Harry, however, wanted to make sure the broom flew perfectly before they released them out to everyone else. He'd gone round and round with him about it and they'd finally come to an agreement that Harry would test out the model that afternoon and tell him yes or no on shipment tomorrow. If the answer was no, Draco would hex his nose right off his face to never be returned again.
But he stopped in front of Madam Malkins robe shop when he saw a rather fluffy head of brown hair. He smiled as he watched her sorting through various potions on a stand outside the shop. Some poor vendor needed a bit of money. She was obviously arguing with the man over the price. He walked up behind her slowly as he heard her say, "You're out of your mind! I'm not paying that much for this..."
"I promise you, it's the best you can buy."
"Well if that's the case, I'll brew my own."
The vendor smiled, "If you think you can, then go ahead."
"Oh she can," he said, interrupting the two. She turned to see Draco and smiled as she adjusted the toddler on her hip. "I'm so glad to see you. Hold him," she said handing Colin over to his father.
"Do you see how willing your mother is to just pass you off?" he cooed at the baby who offered him a drool covered hand.
"I'm terribly sorry. I didn't realize you were married to Mr. Malfoy," the vendor interjected.
She narrowed her eyes as she put both hands on her hips, "And why should that matter?"
Draco wrapped an arm around her waist, "Come along, love. That man doesn't need you yelling at him in a street full of potential customers. Besides, as you said, you can brew it yourself."
She sighed as she walked along with her husband of a year and a half, "Why is it that they all argue with me until they find out I'm married to you?"
"Because they don't know any better. Would you like me to put them all on alert and let them know that I'm your husband..."
"Oh don't even start."
He smiled, "So, aside from harassing vendors about their over-priced products, what are you doing here?"
"I needed to get out of the house."
"You couldn't owl me and let me know first?"
"Should I let you know my every movement?"
He was quiet for a moment, "Yes."
"Draco..."
He smiled, "I meant 'yes' because now we can have lunch together."
She smirked, "If Colin doesn't go to sleep first that's not an option."
"Why does he have to go to sleep?"
"Because he needs his nap. If he doesn't have his nap, he gets cranky and then we can't do that certain thing you had in mind for us to do later if he's cranky."
"And we both know how much I love to do that thing..."
"Exactly. So he needs to get his nap, which he'll never get with you..."
"Why with me?"
"Draco, you get him all riled up," she said taking her son from his father.
"I do not."
"Yes you do."
He looked over at the brunette boy with his steal gray eyes and smiled, "So maybe I do get him riled up a bit. But there's no harm in it."
"Would you like for me to go over the list for you again?"
He shook his head, "No need." They approached the wall to the Leaky Cauldron, "So, lunch, yes or no?"
She sighed as she looked down to the boy who now had his head resting on her shoulder, then over at her husband, "Fine. But if he's grouchy later, you're in serious trouble."
He smiled, "Yeah, yeah...idle threats don't scare me."
She shook her head as she walked into the Leaky Cauldron beside her husband. She looked over at the calendar on the wall and did a double take. She elbowed him in the stomach, to which he rubbed the area she'd hit and looked at her curiously, "What? I didn't even do anything."
"I know. But do you know what today is?"
He looked around the pub and shook his head, "No. It's not your birthday or Valentine's Day."
"Five years ago, this very day, you told me you loved me for the first time."
He furrowed his brow, "Did I?"
"You did."
"Hmm."
"Hmm? What does that mean?"
He shook his head, "Just strange is all."
"What's that?"
"Well at that point you weren't really in my life anymore. I mean, I wanted you in it, but you weren't really there. You wanted me to tell you that I loved you and I couldn't do it."
"But you did."
"I was holding my breath the whole time."
"You can't speak when you hold your breath."
"Sure you can. It's not easy, but it can be done."
She turned looked down at her son who was now sleeping. She took a seat at one of the tables and smiled at Draco, "Regret it?"
"Never."
"Even after all I put you through. The waiting and more waiting. Then the other break up..."
He shook his head, "Nope. It took losing you to realize that I never wanted to be without you."
"Aww, that's almost so sweet I got a cavity."
"A what?"
She smiled and shook her head, "Just you nevermind."
He sighed, "You know what it was that got my ass in gear, don't you?"
She shook her head, "No. What was it?"
He looked over at her as his son stirred in her arms, "I'm in love, and always will be," he said before he dropped a kiss on her forehead.
*~*
A/N: I know it's a sappy ending. But I actually had two endings. A Happy one and a not so happy one. After much consideration I decided to go with the happy ending. Mainly because it was lemony sweet!
A/N2: I would just like to say THANK YOU to all of those out there who have taken time out to give me feedback. It is very much appreciated! It's all fic writers have to go on, and fan response means a lot. Good or bad.
He didn't know if it was the thought of handing his heart over to someone or just the thought of the unknown, the unexpected rush of emotions he felt when he was with her. He did love her. He knew that. Whether or not he could put a voice to that feeling or not was what escaped him. He wanted to tell her, and maybe he needed to do it quickly and get it over with. But what would happen one day when she woke up and realized that he wasn't what she wanted or needed in her life? What if she stopped loving him one day?
He knew the chance of that was great, given that when he really thought about it, they were still children. But if he told her how he felt and they grew apart over time, wasn't that better than just ending it where it was now? He would at least get to say that he loved someone as much as he possibly could while he was able to. And for all he knew, Hermione Granger could be the great love of his life. He shook his head, wondering if he really believed in that sort of thing to begin with.
But he did love her. She at least deserved to hear it from his lips just once. Even if he never said it to her again, she should hear it just once from him. She was the only person to ever really give him a chance. Not out of fear or respect for his father, but out of respect for him. He hadn't been proud of the person he was before he'd been with her. She made him feel like he was worth something, like he could be great at whatever he did. She looked at him and saw who he really was, not who he had been. And she loved him. That was enough for him. She loved him when she didn't have to. She loved him when she probably knew that it wasn't the smartest thing to do. She loved him when he thought no one else ever would. She loved him even though there wasn't much hoping of it lasting for very long.
He wasn't sure if he really deserved her or not. He'd been debating with himself over this. He could provide her the kind of life she deserved. She deserved only the best and he gave nothing but the best. She needed to be pampered and held and loved for the rest of her life and he felt he was the only person who could ever do that properly. But it really had no future. Even in the wizarding world, relationships that start young rarely survived due to people finally growing up and realizing they aren't happy. That was what he really feared.
He didn't want to become one of those people. He was happy with her now but could he be happy with her twenty years from now. Would her constant need to be right finally drive him mad? Would his need to best everyone drive her from his arms? There were so many questions and no answers laid before him. He needed solid facts to go on; he needed all the answers now to be sure that what he had with her wouldn't leave him questioning everything for the rest of his life. He didn't want unfinished business when he died. He just wanted to be happy, to have her and be happy. But there were so many complications before him that he wasn't sure he should even try.
She was worth the effort in his mind, but he would always wonder if she really loved him or if she was staying with him only because she saw no way out. He leaned his head back against the sofa and sighed. He wasn't sure what he was going to do. With such a bleak outlook for their future he didn't know if he should put them both through that. But Hermione was the type of woman that should know she's loved.
"When did this all get so complicated?" he said to himself.
*~*
He walked with an air of determination through the school. He nearly knocked a few first years down as he passed through the halls. He would check her room, and if she wasn't there, the library. He knocked on the portrait hole and waited. Nothing. He turned and went in the direction he came from, his footsteps all taken with one purpose in mind: find Hermione.
He opened the door to the library and paid no mind to the various looks of confusion and contempt that passed people's faces when he entered. He held his head high and moved through the shelves to the back table he knew she would be sitting at. But when he got there he stopped in his tracks to see Hermione and Ron hovered a little too closely for his comfort. The red- headed boy had his arm propped over the back of her chair as she read something from a book.
He always knew that Weasley wanted her. And if body language said anything, he was probably thinking about taking her on that very table, and he just couldn't have that.
"What are we reading?" he said as he sat down opposite them.
She sat up straight as he sat across from them. She noticed that his eyes never left Ron, who seemed to be staring him down as well. 'Men' she thought to herself. "Astronomy," she said softly.
He smirked, and not the friendly smirks that she'd become accustomed to. It was the nasty, malicious smirk she'd seen in the past. She sighed as Ron spoke, "Bugger off, Malfoy. No one wants you here."
His eyes flickered over to Hermione and they locked eyes for a moment, "Someone wants me here," he said, a little too smug for her tastes. "Besides, Weasel, I didn't come to see you anyhow. So scamper along and find Potty. Sure you two have someone who needs saving."
"I'll stay right here, if it's all the same to you."
"Go on, leave. I have to talk to Hermione and I certainly won't say what needs to be said in front of the likes of you."
She closed the book hard, "Enough. Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of Ron."
The self-satisfied look on Ron's face was enough to make Draco want to wretch. He stood, "No, I can't. So, Granger," he growled angrily, "if you can somehow separate yourself from this drivel, come find me. But you never know, I might not feel the same way then as I do now."
And with that he turned and left before she could even say a word. "Good riddance," Ron muttered. He looked over at Hermione's stricken face, "Are you really that unhappy about him leaving?"
She took a shaky breath, "He called me Granger."
"He's always called you Granger."
She shook her head, "No...he...he stopped once we were dating. He...we made an agreement that we wouldn't call one another that because it was...because if we really cared about one another we would call one another by our real names."
Ron sighed as he watched Hermione try and hold herself together, "Hermione, you can't..."
She sighed, "Please, just...not now, alright, Ron?" she said as she gathered her things and left the library.
*~*
He was staring out at the lake, watching as the squid had obviously caught something and was in the process of eating whatever it was. He was angry. Both at him and at her, not to mention his hatred for Weasley was fueled even more than usual. He'd gone there to tell her how he felt and was stopped by one of her bloody friends.
He folded his arms over his chest, wishing he had something to punch and make it feel as horribly as he did. He called her Granger. He promised her he'd never call her that again. But she had called him Malfoy a few short days ago. But that was to a teacher and most of them still didn't understand their relationship. He called her Granger to her face, in anger. He hated that he sometimes couldn't control his temper.
He turned and made his way back to the school. He opened the door and stopped when he found Hermione sitting on the steps, her head in her hands as she cried softly. He ran a hand through his pale hair and sighed, alerting her to his presence. She looked up with watery eyes scowled at him, "How long have you been standing there?"
"I just came in."
She gathered her things then wiped her face. He took the stairs two at a time to get close to her quickly. He grabbed her hands and stilled them as she was trying to wipe away traces of her sobbing. He removed a handkerchief, and sat down beside her. He slowly wiped the tears from her face and sighed, "I'm sorry."
She frowned, "You called me Granger."
He sighed, "I know. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that."
"No, I didn't."
He looked at his hands, "I had come there to talk to you, and I found you all huddled up with that...with Weasley, and I just...I was angry."
"So you lashed out at me?"
"I meant to just lash out at him, but then you defended him and I...I never said I was mature."
She sighed, "What did you want?"
He chewed on the inside of his mouth as he looked at her, "You."
She closed her eyes and lowered her head, "Draco..."
"Wait...wait, let me finish." He took a deep breath, "I've done a lot of thinking. I've never...been in love before." Her eyes widened slightly at him as he said the word love, "So you have to understand that these things I'm feeling for you are more confusing than anything I've ever experienced." He frowned, "I know I'm stupid and all, but I really am sorry for what I did. I know you don't really trust me and I can't really say that I blame you."
"And?"
He took a deep breath, "If I tell you...if I was to say it, there might be a chance that I won't even be able to say it again. But you deserve to know how I do feel about you."
She waited for him to say something, "Yes?"
He looked at her, "You have to promise me something."
She sighed, "Alright."
"If...if at any point, you feel yourself...falling out of love with me, would you please tell me. I can't sit around and wait for you to tell me that you don't feel that way about me, I can't just wake up one day and find you gone. I want a bit of a warning."
She nodded, "I can do that."
"One more thing."
She raised an eyebrow, "You're asking me to make a lot of promises for something you haven't even said to me yet."
He sighed, "I'm trying with all my might to protect myself from getting my heart crushed here. So, listen to me before you start making fun."
She nodded, "Alright."
"You...have to agree that you will at least consider taking our relationship to the next level."
"Meaning?"
"I'm not saying you have to jump into bed with me. I'm just saying...don't push me away all the time."
She bit her lip, "Draco, I think we're jumping ahead here..."
He nodded, "Yeah," he said, rubbing his hand over her knee, "I know. But you have to understand that I want you so badly, sometimes, that it makes moving hurt."
She frowned, "So you want what from me, exactly?"
"I want...I want you to at least think about it. There are other things we can do besides..."
She nodded, "I know. I just...I get scared..."
"Of me?"
She shook her head, "No. I know you wouldn't hurt me. It's just...sex seems so final to me. Almost like I don't know what to expect after sex, you know?"
He sighed, "Hermione, I'm not meaning this to pressure you...and I don't want to just jump into bed with you. I don't mind taking a few...baby steps here and there. But we have to move forward a bit or we're going to end up here again."
She covered his hand with hers, "Alright. I'll think about it."
He gave her a nervous smile, "Alright."
They sat in silence for a minute, "Draco?"
"Yeah?"
"Isn't there something you wanted to tell me?"
"Oh," he nodded, "yeah, uh...Hermione..."
"There you are! I've been looking all over for you since you left the..." Ron stopped talking when he saw Malfoy sitting beside her. Harry looked at the pair and smirked. "What's going on?" Ron asked.
Draco clenched his jaw and gave Potter a look, clearly telling the boy to get the hell out of there now. "Come on, Ron. Ginny was looking for you earlier."
Ron looked over at Harry, "No she wasn't...ow!" he said when Harry elbowed him. "What did you go and do a thing like that for?"
"Come on," he said turning and going back in the direction they came.
Ron followed behind Harry, "I don't understand, I thought we were coming to find Hermione, we found her with Malfoy, and now we're leaving her along with the snake?"
Harry stopped walking, as he rounded the corner and Ron nearly bumped into him, "Did it ever occur to you that maybe she's happy to be alone with that snake?"
"Well...no. But who in their right mind would? Besides, she was mad at him."
"Looked to me like she'd forgiven him, wouldn't you say?"
He shook his head, "You know, it's almost scary how you're almost bouncing about this whole thing. You should be just as grossed out as I am and here you are, almost smiling about it."
Harry sighed, "I'm just glad that she's going to be happy again."
"I still say he's not good for her."
"I agree with you, but I don't think it's our place to say so. Besides, maybe she'll have him so distracted that he'll be off his game in Quidditch and we can just breeze by them."
Ron shook his head, "But unleashing Malfoy onto Hermione is hardly fair to her, just for us to win Quidditch."
Harry smiled and began walking again, "I don't think she'll complain very much."
Hermione looked back at Draco as her friends left, "You were about to say something to me."
He furrowed his brow, "I was?"
She sighed, "Draco..."
He smirked, "Alright." But before he said anything else he stood and looked in every direction.
"What on Earth are you doing?"
"Making sure no one's coming. We seem to get interrupted more than I would like."
She smiled, "Well, I don't think anyone is coming."
He took her hand in his and sat back beside her, "Alright. Here goes..." he took a deep breath, "Hermione...I...I love you."
She was silent at first, then grinned, "Now was that so hard?"
"Honestly? Yes."
She sighed, "You know that I love you too, right?"
He nodded, "Yeah. Still a hard concept for me to grasp."
"What's that?"
"That someone loves me. I mean..." he sighed, "my father...I always feared and respected him and he...he didn't really love me. And my mother...well, she doted on me, but always more for what others would think. Never really because she cared. It's just hard to believe that there is finally someone who...loves me, even with all my faults."
She cupped his face in her hands, "Don't you think, that even with all the things you've done, that you deserve love?"
He looked down, "No. I don't."
She sighed, "Well, I guess it's a good thing for you that I don't believe silly things like that. Everyone deserves love. Even little snakes in the grass such as yourself."
He smirked, "I'm glad you think so." He shook his head and grinned as he stood, "Come on."
She looked up at him curiously, "Where are we going?" she asked as she put her hand in his and allowed him to lead her down the stairs.
"We're going to my room for a nice snogging session."
She chuckled, "I should have known."
"Of course you should have." He said the password and pulled her in behind him, "We have to make up for lost time."
She smiled as she moved into his arms, "Well, we can't stay here too long. We're both on duty tonight."
He smirked as he sat on his sofa and pulled her down to him, "I have very different plans for us than you obviously do."
She smirked as she leaned in and placed a kiss on his lips, "Obviously."
He cupped her face and pulled her back to his lips. He was immediately lost in how much he truly missed her. Her touch, her taste, the feel of her; all things he thought he could possibly live without. In that instant he knew he couldn't have been more wrong.
*~*
Five Years Later
He passed through Diagon Alley on his way back to the Leaky Cauldron. He'd had a short meeting that morning, which caused him to leave home earlier than he had planned. He smirked at the various women passing by him, all throwing him a second glance.
If there was one thing he knew it was that he was attractive, more than most people would care to admit. Namely one Harry Potter, his newest business associate. Due to his parents' rather large fortune they had left him, he'd had money to invest and no real direction for where to steer it. That's where he came in. He gave Harry a place to direct his rather large sum of money in a lucrative broom business. So far, their prototype was faster and had better breaking ability than any other on the market. They just had to get them produced and out to the people.
That was his meeting this morning. He was meeting with a Quidditch supplier to discuss shipment and distribution. He wanted their product out there as quickly as possible and the time to delay was not allowed. Harry, however, wanted to make sure the broom flew perfectly before they released them out to everyone else. He'd gone round and round with him about it and they'd finally come to an agreement that Harry would test out the model that afternoon and tell him yes or no on shipment tomorrow. If the answer was no, Draco would hex his nose right off his face to never be returned again.
But he stopped in front of Madam Malkins robe shop when he saw a rather fluffy head of brown hair. He smiled as he watched her sorting through various potions on a stand outside the shop. Some poor vendor needed a bit of money. She was obviously arguing with the man over the price. He walked up behind her slowly as he heard her say, "You're out of your mind! I'm not paying that much for this..."
"I promise you, it's the best you can buy."
"Well if that's the case, I'll brew my own."
The vendor smiled, "If you think you can, then go ahead."
"Oh she can," he said, interrupting the two. She turned to see Draco and smiled as she adjusted the toddler on her hip. "I'm so glad to see you. Hold him," she said handing Colin over to his father.
"Do you see how willing your mother is to just pass you off?" he cooed at the baby who offered him a drool covered hand.
"I'm terribly sorry. I didn't realize you were married to Mr. Malfoy," the vendor interjected.
She narrowed her eyes as she put both hands on her hips, "And why should that matter?"
Draco wrapped an arm around her waist, "Come along, love. That man doesn't need you yelling at him in a street full of potential customers. Besides, as you said, you can brew it yourself."
She sighed as she walked along with her husband of a year and a half, "Why is it that they all argue with me until they find out I'm married to you?"
"Because they don't know any better. Would you like me to put them all on alert and let them know that I'm your husband..."
"Oh don't even start."
He smiled, "So, aside from harassing vendors about their over-priced products, what are you doing here?"
"I needed to get out of the house."
"You couldn't owl me and let me know first?"
"Should I let you know my every movement?"
He was quiet for a moment, "Yes."
"Draco..."
He smiled, "I meant 'yes' because now we can have lunch together."
She smirked, "If Colin doesn't go to sleep first that's not an option."
"Why does he have to go to sleep?"
"Because he needs his nap. If he doesn't have his nap, he gets cranky and then we can't do that certain thing you had in mind for us to do later if he's cranky."
"And we both know how much I love to do that thing..."
"Exactly. So he needs to get his nap, which he'll never get with you..."
"Why with me?"
"Draco, you get him all riled up," she said taking her son from his father.
"I do not."
"Yes you do."
He looked over at the brunette boy with his steal gray eyes and smiled, "So maybe I do get him riled up a bit. But there's no harm in it."
"Would you like for me to go over the list for you again?"
He shook his head, "No need." They approached the wall to the Leaky Cauldron, "So, lunch, yes or no?"
She sighed as she looked down to the boy who now had his head resting on her shoulder, then over at her husband, "Fine. But if he's grouchy later, you're in serious trouble."
He smiled, "Yeah, yeah...idle threats don't scare me."
She shook her head as she walked into the Leaky Cauldron beside her husband. She looked over at the calendar on the wall and did a double take. She elbowed him in the stomach, to which he rubbed the area she'd hit and looked at her curiously, "What? I didn't even do anything."
"I know. But do you know what today is?"
He looked around the pub and shook his head, "No. It's not your birthday or Valentine's Day."
"Five years ago, this very day, you told me you loved me for the first time."
He furrowed his brow, "Did I?"
"You did."
"Hmm."
"Hmm? What does that mean?"
He shook his head, "Just strange is all."
"What's that?"
"Well at that point you weren't really in my life anymore. I mean, I wanted you in it, but you weren't really there. You wanted me to tell you that I loved you and I couldn't do it."
"But you did."
"I was holding my breath the whole time."
"You can't speak when you hold your breath."
"Sure you can. It's not easy, but it can be done."
She turned looked down at her son who was now sleeping. She took a seat at one of the tables and smiled at Draco, "Regret it?"
"Never."
"Even after all I put you through. The waiting and more waiting. Then the other break up..."
He shook his head, "Nope. It took losing you to realize that I never wanted to be without you."
"Aww, that's almost so sweet I got a cavity."
"A what?"
She smiled and shook her head, "Just you nevermind."
He sighed, "You know what it was that got my ass in gear, don't you?"
She shook her head, "No. What was it?"
He looked over at her as his son stirred in her arms, "I'm in love, and always will be," he said before he dropped a kiss on her forehead.
*~*
A/N: I know it's a sappy ending. But I actually had two endings. A Happy one and a not so happy one. After much consideration I decided to go with the happy ending. Mainly because it was lemony sweet!
A/N2: I would just like to say THANK YOU to all of those out there who have taken time out to give me feedback. It is very much appreciated! It's all fic writers have to go on, and fan response means a lot. Good or bad.