Rimnerel: Okay, hello everyone! I'm tired, but I got this chapter finished.
Ray (worried): You aren't going to burn yourself out are you?
Tala: If she does than I don't have anything to worry about.
Rimnerel (.): Remind me to mess you up in the next fic. Instead of being stabbed, I'm running you over with a car mister. That way I won't have anything to worry about. Maybe you'll become brain damaged and...(begins writing that idea down)...that's not a bad idea.
Ray: Um, okay. Rim would like that thank everyone for reading and reviewing the last chapter.
Rimnerel: And I'm glad that everyone enjoyed Kai beating the crap out of Tala. On a note, this chapter is kind of short, cause it's setting up the actions of the next chapter. Which is going to be long and wonderful! Now on with the show.
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Kenny thought about everything surrounding his life and how it affected him as both a person and someone who has lived a life of reoccuring normality. Things had always been dull for him, and he had accepted it as the way things should be. That was until he met Tyson. His world had been expanded and he was allowed to see so much with Tyson and the other Bladebreakers. But then his life slipped back into its reoccuring cycle of normality. Though he would have never thought that Tyson or the others would have so much influence on him, he changed very little in actuality. Yet his current situation had turned his ordinary daily routines for a loop.
If he had never known Tyson, Ray, Max, and Kai...Kenny sighed, thinking that he could never imagine what life would be like if he had never known them. They were always there for him, even when he felt he could handle things himself. They never let him down and for that, he was grateful. Or at least he tried to be. Sometimes he knew he could be stubborn and that the others were doing things for his best interest, but still...
Lowering his eyes to his bed, Kenny shook his head. "Who am I kidding? If it wasn't for Kai and the others I don't know what I would do now. I still don't know what to do, but at least I know they'll be behind me no matter what. I just want...god...I don't know what I really want anymore. My head is so muddled that I feel like I'm going around in circles."
Kenny flopped back down, his eyes studying the ceiling. He had no idea how he was going to go about figuring out what he really wanted and needed. His brain was a tangle of branches which ensnared him when he tried to run. He wanted to escape, but he was being held back so much. All he could think of was Tala and how much he wanted to see him. How much he had missed the male subconsciously, and how much he still loved the male now.
It wasn't fair that he wanted to stay with Zeo and his heart had chosen Tala too. Why had love become so complicated? All he had wanted in the beginning was someone to love. To relate to, to make him laugh, and to understand him. Now...he just wanted someone to keep him from crying and feeling this pain in his heart.
If he did choose Tala, the pain would come back. He would feel even more pain because he had let go of Zeo. If he stayed with Zeo though, he would not be happy knowing that Tala would not rest until he stopped seeing Zeo. Kenny could not allow that yet...
"I can't resist him. I know that I can't," Kenny said miserably. "The more I want to escape, the more I'm drawn to him. Like a magnet."
Kenny was at his ends trying to make sense of his wayward heart and couldn't. Nothing eased the throbbing ache he felt. Love wasn't supposed to feel like this. As if it were wrong for him to be in love with both at the same time. Maybe it was wrong, and this was some kind of punishment for it.
"Dizzi," Kenny called out to his computer.
"Yeah, Chief," Dizzi replied immediately. Kenny looked over and smiled at his computer. His blue eyes shimmering momentarily. She has been with him through everything. His constant guardian next to Kai. He would figure out this mess for them, so that they could rest finally from worrying over him.
"What do you think?" Kenny remarked.
"About what Kenny?" she inquired.
"Who I should choose. Zeo or Tala?" Kenny said. He wanted an honest opinion though he knew what she was going to say.
"Zeo," she said without hesitation.
Kenny closed his eyes, a soft smile on his lips. "Why do you say Zeo?"
"For obvious reasons, are you crazy?"
"Just answer me. Why Zeo?" he repeated.
Dizzi didn't know what her young master was getting at, but she would humor him anyway. "Because he has never made you cry in all the time you've been together. He loves you with his whole heart and will stay by your side no matter what happens." That was true, Kenny thought to himself. Zeo had always been there for him and Kenny could love him without conviction, but...
"Why do you hate Tala so much?"
"You can't be serious about me answering that, Kenny!" she said disbelievingly.
"Just humor me, Dizzi. Why do you hate Tala so much?"
"Why do you think I can't stand him. He's hurt you so many times. He's made you cry and not cared. He's too stubborn to know the first thing about making you happy. Zeo is better than Tala," Dizzi retorted harshly.
"That's true Dizzi. He has done those things, but..." Kenny said.
"But? There can't be any buts in this case!"
"Yes, there are buts," he chuckled.
"Kenny, how can you say that! Tala's arrogant, stubborn, rude, insensitive, pompous, antipathetic, and the world's most moody bastard ever," Dizzi stated. "There can't be any positive points about him."
"But there are," Kenny smiled. "He has a softer side that he's afraid to show because of pains in his past. His smiles can be warm when he lets his guard down, his eyes always tell me different than his words. When he's with me, his touch makes me excited. And I know that if allowed, he will change more than he is now."
"What's with all the correlations? This isn't a compare and contrast of his good and bad points relating to how he treats you Kenny," Dizzi said. "If you give up Zeo and go back to Tala, he's only going to hurt you all over again. You know that. Stick with Zeo and forget him."
"Remember what you told me a while ago?" Kenny inquired, after staying silent for a second.
"Um...I said a lot of things to you, be more specific Chief."
Kenny opened his eyes again, the smile never leaving his face. "It was when Zeo first told me he liked me. I told you and you said that when you have to second guess your heart you're not in love with that person."
"I remember that."
"You also told me I have a choice about who I want to love and that it's not Tala's decision. That my happiness comes first."
"Yes, that's true. But what are you getting at?" Dizzi wondered. Kenny didn't answer her, he continued to speak as if she had never said a word.
"The thing that I remember the most is when you told me that sometimes love is selfish. That what's more selfish than loving one person is never loving someone willing to love me a chance," Kenny remarked. "It's painful, really painful."
"And you think that's Tala!" Dizzi exclaimed. "You have to be joking with me. He's not doing this because he wants to be with you. He's being selfish, a complete brat if I say so myself."
"You don't see his eyes like I do. How much conflict those eyes show me when I stare up into them. His actions are selfish, but...he has lived without sympathy for so long. As long as possibly he's been at that abbey. Maybe Dizzi, this is the only way he's been able to get by," Kenny commented. "You can see it in his eyes, if you really looked."
Dizzi was quiet for a long time before speaking once more. "You've made up your mind haven't you?"
"Not yet. But I'm finally working through the tangles now. I can see two paths, but I don't know which to take and where they will lead yet. I still need a bit more time. And I need to talk to Zeo tomorrow also. To understand all the pieces and to put my own puzzle together finally." Kenny had to think every thing out perfectly before he could choose the correct path.
"Kenny...whatever decision you decide...I'll be right there for you no matter what, okay? And I'm sure your friends will be there too," Dizzi said in a soft tone. "I'm sure even Zeo will be there, if you do decide to choose Tala."
"I know," Kenny smiled. "Now let's get some rest." Tomorrow would bring the biggest decision in his life into the light. Whether good or bad, he was going to look it straight on with unyeilding nerve.
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Rimnerel: Okay, sorry that it's short, but like I said, it's setting the stage for the climax. Yes, that means that the next chapter will be Kenny's final decision!
Tala: We all know what's going to happen, so why are you so excited and everything.
Rimnerel (.): Another comment like that and I'm changing the ending. I can decide to make Kenny stay with Zeo and kick your ass to the curb.
Tala: And I will hunt you down until the end of your days.
Rimnerel (rolling eyes): Uh-huh, whatever. Well, anyway, everyone, let me get to writing the next chapter. Since it's going to take me a while to get all this done and what not, you can find the next chapter posted Saturday. At least that gives me time to make an excellent chapter that I'm sure everyone will love. So bye, until Saturday.
Ray (worried): You aren't going to burn yourself out are you?
Tala: If she does than I don't have anything to worry about.
Rimnerel (.): Remind me to mess you up in the next fic. Instead of being stabbed, I'm running you over with a car mister. That way I won't have anything to worry about. Maybe you'll become brain damaged and...(begins writing that idea down)...that's not a bad idea.
Ray: Um, okay. Rim would like that thank everyone for reading and reviewing the last chapter.
Rimnerel: And I'm glad that everyone enjoyed Kai beating the crap out of Tala. On a note, this chapter is kind of short, cause it's setting up the actions of the next chapter. Which is going to be long and wonderful! Now on with the show.
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Kenny thought about everything surrounding his life and how it affected him as both a person and someone who has lived a life of reoccuring normality. Things had always been dull for him, and he had accepted it as the way things should be. That was until he met Tyson. His world had been expanded and he was allowed to see so much with Tyson and the other Bladebreakers. But then his life slipped back into its reoccuring cycle of normality. Though he would have never thought that Tyson or the others would have so much influence on him, he changed very little in actuality. Yet his current situation had turned his ordinary daily routines for a loop.
If he had never known Tyson, Ray, Max, and Kai...Kenny sighed, thinking that he could never imagine what life would be like if he had never known them. They were always there for him, even when he felt he could handle things himself. They never let him down and for that, he was grateful. Or at least he tried to be. Sometimes he knew he could be stubborn and that the others were doing things for his best interest, but still...
Lowering his eyes to his bed, Kenny shook his head. "Who am I kidding? If it wasn't for Kai and the others I don't know what I would do now. I still don't know what to do, but at least I know they'll be behind me no matter what. I just want...god...I don't know what I really want anymore. My head is so muddled that I feel like I'm going around in circles."
Kenny flopped back down, his eyes studying the ceiling. He had no idea how he was going to go about figuring out what he really wanted and needed. His brain was a tangle of branches which ensnared him when he tried to run. He wanted to escape, but he was being held back so much. All he could think of was Tala and how much he wanted to see him. How much he had missed the male subconsciously, and how much he still loved the male now.
It wasn't fair that he wanted to stay with Zeo and his heart had chosen Tala too. Why had love become so complicated? All he had wanted in the beginning was someone to love. To relate to, to make him laugh, and to understand him. Now...he just wanted someone to keep him from crying and feeling this pain in his heart.
If he did choose Tala, the pain would come back. He would feel even more pain because he had let go of Zeo. If he stayed with Zeo though, he would not be happy knowing that Tala would not rest until he stopped seeing Zeo. Kenny could not allow that yet...
"I can't resist him. I know that I can't," Kenny said miserably. "The more I want to escape, the more I'm drawn to him. Like a magnet."
Kenny was at his ends trying to make sense of his wayward heart and couldn't. Nothing eased the throbbing ache he felt. Love wasn't supposed to feel like this. As if it were wrong for him to be in love with both at the same time. Maybe it was wrong, and this was some kind of punishment for it.
"Dizzi," Kenny called out to his computer.
"Yeah, Chief," Dizzi replied immediately. Kenny looked over and smiled at his computer. His blue eyes shimmering momentarily. She has been with him through everything. His constant guardian next to Kai. He would figure out this mess for them, so that they could rest finally from worrying over him.
"What do you think?" Kenny remarked.
"About what Kenny?" she inquired.
"Who I should choose. Zeo or Tala?" Kenny said. He wanted an honest opinion though he knew what she was going to say.
"Zeo," she said without hesitation.
Kenny closed his eyes, a soft smile on his lips. "Why do you say Zeo?"
"For obvious reasons, are you crazy?"
"Just answer me. Why Zeo?" he repeated.
Dizzi didn't know what her young master was getting at, but she would humor him anyway. "Because he has never made you cry in all the time you've been together. He loves you with his whole heart and will stay by your side no matter what happens." That was true, Kenny thought to himself. Zeo had always been there for him and Kenny could love him without conviction, but...
"Why do you hate Tala so much?"
"You can't be serious about me answering that, Kenny!" she said disbelievingly.
"Just humor me, Dizzi. Why do you hate Tala so much?"
"Why do you think I can't stand him. He's hurt you so many times. He's made you cry and not cared. He's too stubborn to know the first thing about making you happy. Zeo is better than Tala," Dizzi retorted harshly.
"That's true Dizzi. He has done those things, but..." Kenny said.
"But? There can't be any buts in this case!"
"Yes, there are buts," he chuckled.
"Kenny, how can you say that! Tala's arrogant, stubborn, rude, insensitive, pompous, antipathetic, and the world's most moody bastard ever," Dizzi stated. "There can't be any positive points about him."
"But there are," Kenny smiled. "He has a softer side that he's afraid to show because of pains in his past. His smiles can be warm when he lets his guard down, his eyes always tell me different than his words. When he's with me, his touch makes me excited. And I know that if allowed, he will change more than he is now."
"What's with all the correlations? This isn't a compare and contrast of his good and bad points relating to how he treats you Kenny," Dizzi said. "If you give up Zeo and go back to Tala, he's only going to hurt you all over again. You know that. Stick with Zeo and forget him."
"Remember what you told me a while ago?" Kenny inquired, after staying silent for a second.
"Um...I said a lot of things to you, be more specific Chief."
Kenny opened his eyes again, the smile never leaving his face. "It was when Zeo first told me he liked me. I told you and you said that when you have to second guess your heart you're not in love with that person."
"I remember that."
"You also told me I have a choice about who I want to love and that it's not Tala's decision. That my happiness comes first."
"Yes, that's true. But what are you getting at?" Dizzi wondered. Kenny didn't answer her, he continued to speak as if she had never said a word.
"The thing that I remember the most is when you told me that sometimes love is selfish. That what's more selfish than loving one person is never loving someone willing to love me a chance," Kenny remarked. "It's painful, really painful."
"And you think that's Tala!" Dizzi exclaimed. "You have to be joking with me. He's not doing this because he wants to be with you. He's being selfish, a complete brat if I say so myself."
"You don't see his eyes like I do. How much conflict those eyes show me when I stare up into them. His actions are selfish, but...he has lived without sympathy for so long. As long as possibly he's been at that abbey. Maybe Dizzi, this is the only way he's been able to get by," Kenny commented. "You can see it in his eyes, if you really looked."
Dizzi was quiet for a long time before speaking once more. "You've made up your mind haven't you?"
"Not yet. But I'm finally working through the tangles now. I can see two paths, but I don't know which to take and where they will lead yet. I still need a bit more time. And I need to talk to Zeo tomorrow also. To understand all the pieces and to put my own puzzle together finally." Kenny had to think every thing out perfectly before he could choose the correct path.
"Kenny...whatever decision you decide...I'll be right there for you no matter what, okay? And I'm sure your friends will be there too," Dizzi said in a soft tone. "I'm sure even Zeo will be there, if you do decide to choose Tala."
"I know," Kenny smiled. "Now let's get some rest." Tomorrow would bring the biggest decision in his life into the light. Whether good or bad, he was going to look it straight on with unyeilding nerve.
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Rimnerel: Okay, sorry that it's short, but like I said, it's setting the stage for the climax. Yes, that means that the next chapter will be Kenny's final decision!
Tala: We all know what's going to happen, so why are you so excited and everything.
Rimnerel (.): Another comment like that and I'm changing the ending. I can decide to make Kenny stay with Zeo and kick your ass to the curb.
Tala: And I will hunt you down until the end of your days.
Rimnerel (rolling eyes): Uh-huh, whatever. Well, anyway, everyone, let me get to writing the next chapter. Since it's going to take me a while to get all this done and what not, you can find the next chapter posted Saturday. At least that gives me time to make an excellent chapter that I'm sure everyone will love. So bye, until Saturday.