"I'd Die Without You
By ML Fan
A "Designate This" ficlet, Part 5
AN: The character's thoughts are in Italics. Thanks And without any further ado, Part 5 of my "Designate This" ficlet. The disclaimers remain the same. Thank you to those who have reviewed this story and my previous ficlets and poem.
Max smiles, "What a feast! You never fail to disappoint my taste buds. I want to help clean up, that's the least I can do to help my personal chef."
"Max, the dishes can wait. I want to talk to you first."
"Isn't that what we're doing right now?"
"Yes, but, I just want to talk to you, not do housework. You don't what being able to talk to you again means to me. You don't have to say anything, you can just listen."
I wonder what this is about. I'm not expecting anything from this, but, I'm not exactly expecting good news because of my track record. Calm down, whatever it is, it can't be that bad. Just breathe.
Logan notices the look of confusion on Max's face.
"Earth to Max."
That's interesting, she's always the one who catches me in deep thought, not the other way around. I wonder what she's thinking about.
"Max, are you alright? You look confused, maybe a little frightened. I can see it in your eyes and face."
"Sorry for the lapse, Logan. What did you want to talk about?"
Logan takes Max by the hand and they walk into the den.
I can tell that she's looking for anything new or out of place in here. New home decor hasn't exactly been on my list of priorities.
They find the couch and both sit.
"Logan", "Max," they say simultaneously.
"You can go first Logan, I mean you said you wanted to tell me something."
She's right, you start a conversation, you damn well better finish it. I'd better say this before I lose my nerve and my train of thought.
"As I told you before, after you died in my arms I couldn't even bear to move. I regretted so many things that I didn't do with you, so many things I didn't tell you. I thought that I could show you without saying the words. I mean I'm a cyber journalist and I help others in my never ending crusade to save this broken world through my writing and investigations, but, if you turn the tables on me and expect me to express my emotions outside of my work, there's my problem. I knew that you weren't like those fancy, superficial society women that I used to go out with and that you didn't want or need to be worshipped with candy flowers or jewelry. I was also afraid of scaring you away. From the first time in my life, my looks, charms, and wealth went out the window in a relationship with a female. You looked past all of that and saw the real me, the real Logan Cale and you wouldn't let me get away with anything. And I love you for that."
Nice one, Cale. I thought that you were going to take this slowly, not lay it on her like that right away, she just escaped from the place she hates more than anything in the world. God only knows the hell she went through there. You'll be damn lucky if she doesn't just walk out that door and never comes back.
"Max, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to throw all of that at you so soon. Just forget I said anything."
Max, sighs. "God Logan, I hate it when you do that. Trying to put up that protective, ever present wall again. Why won't you let me answer you?"
Logan sighs, "Well...I thought that...."
Wow, the great Logan Cale, the almighty Eyes Only at a loss for words, now that's a rare sight. Normally he's got some witty, intelligent comeback for me. I guess I've found a weak spot. He always seems to be so in control and confident in what he says. It's time to cut the crap. It's now or never. Max sighs.
"Did you mean it, Logan?"
"Every last word of it, Max. I didn't want to scare you off after not seeing you for three months."
"Look, Logan, I'm sick of the games and dancing around each other, we've done that for long enough. In fact, I think we've mastered those two things to a "T." If you scared me, I would've been long gone before now. And truth be told, if I didn't want to see you, I wouldn't be here right now." Max continues speaking, "When I was back at Manticore, they tried in vain to indoctrinate me and they are 99.5 percent successful in that and so I knew I had to be strong and think of something to motivate me and keep me strong and I chose you. My memories of you kept me sane in that hellhole, they were my tranquility, when what they were trying to do to me was anything but, pleasant. They even tried to give me a breeding partner, Alec. Max rolls her eyes.
"He's just a kid brother who from time to time can be annoying, always looking out for himself, thinks very highly of himself, pretty much like your average guy in his early 20's, a little immature sometimes. Not a bad guy, just definitely not my type. Manticore's mating rituals failed miserably. I got through all of that because I knew that when I got out of there that I had something worth coming back to and I know that it's hard for me to express my feelings to anyone because of my childhood as a soldier where we were taught how to master escape and evade instead of anything about feelings and emotions. Emotional attachments to anyone or anything were at the very top of big no-nos at Manticore. But, you deserve the truth, no matter how hard it is for me to admit it out loud; I love you, too. I don't know what the future holds for us, but, I'd like to find out together, because, I know I would've have died at Manticore, if it wasn't for you, I would have died without you."
Wow, my beautiful, intelligent, dark angel says that she loves me, I wasn't expecting her to say those words so soon, wow. Better sooner than later, I guess.
"I never believed for one minute that you were truly gone forever, Bling, Cindy, and Matt were all very concerned about me. I became consumed with taking Maticore down after they took you away from me. And I know that there were so many times after the accident when I wanted to throw in the towel and just give up, but, you wouldn't let me feel sorry for myself for too long. You saved my life and I knew it back then and I know it now after being separated from you for three months that I would die without you in my life." Logan leans in and kisses her as a promise of what's to come while knowing that whatever comes their way; good or bad that they'd face it head on together.
Together.
The End.
AN: The character's thoughts are in Italics. Thanks And without any further ado, Part 5 of my "Designate This" ficlet. The disclaimers remain the same. Thank you to those who have reviewed this story and my previous ficlets and poem.
Max smiles, "What a feast! You never fail to disappoint my taste buds. I want to help clean up, that's the least I can do to help my personal chef."
"Max, the dishes can wait. I want to talk to you first."
"Isn't that what we're doing right now?"
"Yes, but, I just want to talk to you, not do housework. You don't what being able to talk to you again means to me. You don't have to say anything, you can just listen."
I wonder what this is about. I'm not expecting anything from this, but, I'm not exactly expecting good news because of my track record. Calm down, whatever it is, it can't be that bad. Just breathe.
Logan notices the look of confusion on Max's face.
"Earth to Max."
That's interesting, she's always the one who catches me in deep thought, not the other way around. I wonder what she's thinking about.
"Max, are you alright? You look confused, maybe a little frightened. I can see it in your eyes and face."
"Sorry for the lapse, Logan. What did you want to talk about?"
Logan takes Max by the hand and they walk into the den.
I can tell that she's looking for anything new or out of place in here. New home decor hasn't exactly been on my list of priorities.
They find the couch and both sit.
"Logan", "Max," they say simultaneously.
"You can go first Logan, I mean you said you wanted to tell me something."
She's right, you start a conversation, you damn well better finish it. I'd better say this before I lose my nerve and my train of thought.
"As I told you before, after you died in my arms I couldn't even bear to move. I regretted so many things that I didn't do with you, so many things I didn't tell you. I thought that I could show you without saying the words. I mean I'm a cyber journalist and I help others in my never ending crusade to save this broken world through my writing and investigations, but, if you turn the tables on me and expect me to express my emotions outside of my work, there's my problem. I knew that you weren't like those fancy, superficial society women that I used to go out with and that you didn't want or need to be worshipped with candy flowers or jewelry. I was also afraid of scaring you away. From the first time in my life, my looks, charms, and wealth went out the window in a relationship with a female. You looked past all of that and saw the real me, the real Logan Cale and you wouldn't let me get away with anything. And I love you for that."
Nice one, Cale. I thought that you were going to take this slowly, not lay it on her like that right away, she just escaped from the place she hates more than anything in the world. God only knows the hell she went through there. You'll be damn lucky if she doesn't just walk out that door and never comes back.
"Max, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to throw all of that at you so soon. Just forget I said anything."
Max, sighs. "God Logan, I hate it when you do that. Trying to put up that protective, ever present wall again. Why won't you let me answer you?"
Logan sighs, "Well...I thought that...."
Wow, the great Logan Cale, the almighty Eyes Only at a loss for words, now that's a rare sight. Normally he's got some witty, intelligent comeback for me. I guess I've found a weak spot. He always seems to be so in control and confident in what he says. It's time to cut the crap. It's now or never. Max sighs.
"Did you mean it, Logan?"
"Every last word of it, Max. I didn't want to scare you off after not seeing you for three months."
"Look, Logan, I'm sick of the games and dancing around each other, we've done that for long enough. In fact, I think we've mastered those two things to a "T." If you scared me, I would've been long gone before now. And truth be told, if I didn't want to see you, I wouldn't be here right now." Max continues speaking, "When I was back at Manticore, they tried in vain to indoctrinate me and they are 99.5 percent successful in that and so I knew I had to be strong and think of something to motivate me and keep me strong and I chose you. My memories of you kept me sane in that hellhole, they were my tranquility, when what they were trying to do to me was anything but, pleasant. They even tried to give me a breeding partner, Alec. Max rolls her eyes.
"He's just a kid brother who from time to time can be annoying, always looking out for himself, thinks very highly of himself, pretty much like your average guy in his early 20's, a little immature sometimes. Not a bad guy, just definitely not my type. Manticore's mating rituals failed miserably. I got through all of that because I knew that when I got out of there that I had something worth coming back to and I know that it's hard for me to express my feelings to anyone because of my childhood as a soldier where we were taught how to master escape and evade instead of anything about feelings and emotions. Emotional attachments to anyone or anything were at the very top of big no-nos at Manticore. But, you deserve the truth, no matter how hard it is for me to admit it out loud; I love you, too. I don't know what the future holds for us, but, I'd like to find out together, because, I know I would've have died at Manticore, if it wasn't for you, I would have died without you."
Wow, my beautiful, intelligent, dark angel says that she loves me, I wasn't expecting her to say those words so soon, wow. Better sooner than later, I guess.
"I never believed for one minute that you were truly gone forever, Bling, Cindy, and Matt were all very concerned about me. I became consumed with taking Maticore down after they took you away from me. And I know that there were so many times after the accident when I wanted to throw in the towel and just give up, but, you wouldn't let me feel sorry for myself for too long. You saved my life and I knew it back then and I know it now after being separated from you for three months that I would die without you in my life." Logan leans in and kisses her as a promise of what's to come while knowing that whatever comes their way; good or bad that they'd face it head on together.
Together.
The End.