Hi guys! So I took a little break from the action in this chapter, and oh my gosh it was hell to write. Normally emotion is easier for me to write but I think I had something of a mental roadblock. I also read this over and over again and I've decided that Max needs to get some more backbone, cause I'm writing her on the weak side. So prepare for Max to be opening some cans of whoop ass in the next few chapters. Nothing but love for y'all- SilverRain
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
My
head rests on the bed next to her stomach. Our fingers twine tightly
together making a stronger bond than the plastic tubing which connects our
wrists together. Her face still looks too pale to me, but as I lose color
her cheeks grow less ashen.
The report had come in from Senator Burnhart about an hour ago. Along
with stealing some four million dollars worth of jewelry and art, the party
crashers had kidnapped Senator Bradley, some other chic senator from South Carolina, and prominent scion of
the hoverdrone industry, Logan Cale.
Max remained unconscious all through the night and into this morning.
This is the second transfusion I've given her and barring any unforeseen
trouble she'll be fine, sort of. Physically at least she's recovering,
but she now seems more withdrawn than ever from me emotionally, and I haven't
got the vaguest notion of what to do about it. She's awake now but her
eyes remain distant, glazed over and unseeing. The fingers of her left
hand stroke mechanically through the tangled locks of my hair.
Really, I was hoping that she'd get angry at me for losing Bradley, for doing
the stupid thing and running off to rescue her. I didn't leave out a
single detail when I told her how I'd abandoned the guy unconscious in the
middle of a crisis. Even her disappointment would be easier to bear than
this unresponsiveness.
"Burnhart understood that we couldn't really mount a blazing counterstrike
in the middle of a crowded party without blowing our covers. She says she
has her top people working on tracing the gang, and she'll get back to us when
she has any information." She nods her head lethargically but
doesn't bother looking up.
"I'm sorry that they took Logan. I had no idea that
they were planning on kidnapping him too." Please don't let that be
why she's all freaked out, I don't think I could bare it.
"No big deal. I'm sure we'll find them." I'm relieved,
that she isn't worried about him too much, that she can still speak even if it
does sound dull and dead as dry wood. "How's your shoulder
doing?"
The bullet had only grazed my shoulder, a little furrow less than a half inch
deep. I know that she's changing the subject on me, and I know that I
can't allow her to do that. Not if I want to find out once and for all
what's been bothering her.
Gently holding up the tubing connecting my left arm to her right one I creep up
higher on our bed until our faces are inches apart. Her eyes focus
unsteadily on my face and I'm wondering if she's seeing me or some phantom of
her mind. "Come on Maxie look at me."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I thought the dreams would end after a few weeks, or at least fade in
intensity. All that I've been able to do is learn to control my reaction
to them. He doesn't know that I still dream of holding his lifeless body
in my arms, out there on a muddy battlefield. He can't know because I
haven't woken up screaming and crying for weeks now. That doesn't mean
that I don't have to see it almost every night.
And I'm scared, I'm so afraid that I'm going to lose him again. First I'd
lost him to the twelve, and then I'd let that bitch Lela take him prisoner.
Transgenics are made tough, and strong, and fast. That doesn't mean we're
indestructible though. The twelve is haunting enough in its way because
it was the first time that I thought he might be gone from my life, and the
first time that that thought scared me. Our final confrontation with the
familiars had been worse. Watching him hold the poison and knowing as the
knife came towards him that he was willing to die if it meant saving the
world. Standing over the pile of limbs and deadweight that was him and
Biggs. Biggs died, and it could have been him so easily.
I thought it would be alright once we'd beat back the familiars. We're supposed to be free now to live our lives like normal people. I know now that it's never going to happen. Now I'll always be wondering whether I could have found another way to gain my people's freedom. A way that doesn't put the life of the man I love in danger.
"I can't lose you Alec. Not after I've only just found you. I know I've been walking on eggshells with you for a while now, avoiding arguments. It's just that, if I'm going to lose you tomorrow or the next day, then I want to know that we've filled our time with all the love we can." I wait for him to speak but he stays still as death, afraid to break the spell that finally has me talking. I know he wants more, but the words are hard.
"I don't know if I can do this with you. I worry so much every time we go on a mission, and worse than that I know that if you're worrying about me you'll be distracted and it might make you slower or sloppier. What happened yesterday is exactly what I mean. The soldier would have left me and taken care of Bradley. The man shouldn't even be in a situation like that. I just. It's just I can't even begin to guess how we're supposed to balance the two." His hands grip my face fiercely, cupping both cheeks.
"Do you think that you're the only revved up super soldier in the world Maxie? Because newsflash for you, you aren't. Even if we weren't together I'd still have to work at balancing these two lives, freedom or no. This is my choice and responsibility just as much as it is yours. Besides, this situation involves me a great deal more than it involves you." My eyes widen at the onslaught.
"Yeah cause you're really mister responsibility." The words pop out of my mouth completely unchecked and I clamp my fingers to my lips in embarrassment. The basso profundo of his laugh shocks me. He tugs my fingers gently off my mouth and covers my lips with his.
"That's more like it. That is definitely the Maxie that I know and love. Now just promise me two things."
"What?" My voice is high pitched with petulance.
"First that you won't ever, not argue with me again. It's a complete subversion of your contrary nature, and you look incredibly hot when you get all bothered. And second." His lips swoop down on mine again plundering them for all he's worth, before he pulls back. "Second, never, ever doubt that my love for you and your love for me can't overcome anything." His hands are wandering now in a particularly delicious fashion and I'm slowly losing track of what we were arguing about in the first place. I twine my fingers through his already mussed up hair and pull him down so that his body covering mine.
"Owww, shit that hurt." I realize that in my haste to get closer I'd managed to yank the IV out of his arm taking a small chunk of skin with it.
"Want me to kiss it and make it better?" His hands wander rather lower, giving me all the answer that I need.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It isn't until an hour or so later, as I'm lying completely spent on the bed that my mind finally filters through our conversation to the point that's been bugging me.
"Alec?" My world tilts slightly as he shifts into a more upright position, I've been using his chest as a pillow.
"Yes my darling?" His hands begin their lazy roaming again and I know I have to move quickly if I'm going to get another coherent thought out again.
"What did you mean when you said that you were more involved in this situation than I was?" His body tenses guiltily beneath mine, and his hands freeze on my hips.
"It all happened a long time ago Maxie." I flip over so that I'm staring him directly in the face. He knows better than to hold back when I put on my serious face.
"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you. It all started on this little desert island."