The Spirits Within My Mind
I have completely rewritten my original story and I hope you like it
because I do.
It was cold the first night Chihiro decided to fall out of her window. She was leaning out staring at the stars when she leaned a bit too far out and fell. Once on the ground she removed a cheese muffin from the pocket of her three-piece tux and prepared for a revelation, for as she parted the muffin
paper from the muffin itself it spoke to her.
It said, "Young Chihiro of Chardon Ohio you are a very special little girl
and the reason you are so special is-"before the cheese muffin could
finish Chihiro bit off the area its mouth was in.
"Ouch" the muffled voice of the cheese muffin said.
"Mmm...lemon poppy seed..." said Chihiro with a mouth full of muffin.
Unfortunately for Chihiro the muffin was just about to remind her of her
visit to the spirit world. I really wish he would have too because that
would save me a lot of trouble. Oh well, such is life.
When Chihiro or as I like to call her, Spotted Monkey with a Toothache, finished eating the lemon poppy seed flavored cheese muffin she turned her
head slowly to the woods exorcist style.
"Must travel into woods...must find necronomican...must destroy Henrietta!'
said Spotted Monkey with a Toothache.
Unfortunately again this is not a 1981 cult horror film directed by master Raimi and there is no necronomican to be found but alas earwax. So Chihiro threw her muffin wrapper on the ground (littering I might add) and walked
Barbie style to the woods, which is when you walk without bending your
knees.
The woods I am sorry to report were nothing special. Other than the moonlight cast on trees creating shadows and the cult that gathered every Tuesday for lamb's blood tea and crumpets all was well and unspecial-like. The little luck duck of Hackensack or Chihiro, as she is often referred to
pranced along merrily through the forest while humming Time Warp.
Prancing humming and occasionally tripping (on acid...just kidding, on model glue. Kidding again, she was just tripping over things which happens when you prance through a dark wooded area after ingesting a muffin laced with
opium) Chihiro was happy so naturally she became flatulent and began to
toot her horn.
The strong foul gasses that seeped from her butt started a chain of events I like to call, "Chihiro's gas kills every living thing within a ten foot radius". So now Chi-Chi the magic garden hose was clearing her own path,
which was always a good thing.
Eventually the fun fad to stop and indeed it did when Froofroo slash Chihiro reached the amusement park which suspiciously resembled an ancient temple but couldn't have been because there are no ancient temples residing
there unless you count the muffin factory which doesn't exist because I lied about it and now I am going to hell to burn eternally because of my transgressions and I am also going to be struck dead by the almighty God who will send a pack of ravenous lemmings to tear the flesh off of my bones
while I am still alive. But I digress...
The dead leaves swirled about the entrance beckoning Chihiro inside. Being the gullible one she is Chihibbittydibbity walked right into the amusement park. Lined up along a dirt road in which Chihirbbittydibbity was standing
were about twenty or so empty concession stands.
In the not so far distance Chihiro caught sight of some quick animal like
movement.
"Perhaps it is a badger or a mongoose" Chihiro reassured herself.
Immediately after these words left her depths a large dark and pungent
creature leaped in front of her and shouted:
"Me gusta los pantelones! Ayayayay!"
staring at the figure Chihiro realized this creature was a man. A man made of cheese. And not just any cheese he was a mixture of swiss and provolone
cheese.
"oh screw" Chihiro panicked "you are going to rape me and steal my
valuables aren't you?"
the cheese man did not understand Chihiro but attempted to further
communication anyways. He said slowly as if talking to a handicapped
person:
"los fideos son muy calientes cuando pongo en mis pantelones"
Chihiro seemed to understand that this gentle beast meant no harm.
"Good you're not going to violate my property and me." A relieved look
dominated her face like a dog would a strange man's leg.
"You got a name?" inquired Chihiro.
"me nombre es Señor Queso" he then proceeded to roll his r's like the crazy
people on those Spanish game shows do when they become over excited.
"Ting tang walla walla Washington," Chihiro replied which is Icelandic for
'pass the woopee cushion please'.
"Do you live here?" asked she.
"Sí vivo en una río de servesas," he said which of course means, "why yes
my fair lady I live right here".
"donde estas vives tu?" asked he.
This angered Chihiro for she knew it was not safe to tell a stranger where
you live even under these circumstances, deciding it was time to part
Chihiro warbled:
"I must go for I am Azna ruler of the green ones," and she turned to leave.
But as she turned to leave Mr. Cheese jumped her from behind and they both went tumbling to the ground. (Mr. Cheese was on top of Chihiro in case you
were wondering) The sun began to rise rapidly and unnaturally causing immense heat to shine
on Mr. Cheese. This caused him to melt. Slow at first then faster and faster until Chihiro was completely covered in cheese. Then the sun fell
from the sky and it was once again night.
When chitty Chitty Bang Bang had caught her breath ling enough to examine herself for injuries she found a book lying in her stomach. It was a book
bound in human flesh and inked in blood.
"The necronomican, yay! Now I can reverse the spell and save Harry Potter
from the dancing bears and chimney sweeps!"
Chihiro got up and skipped into the horizon.
The End
Note: My Spanish is not perfect so please excuse that.
I have completely rewritten my original story and I hope you like it
because I do.
It was cold the first night Chihiro decided to fall out of her window. She was leaning out staring at the stars when she leaned a bit too far out and fell. Once on the ground she removed a cheese muffin from the pocket of her three-piece tux and prepared for a revelation, for as she parted the muffin
paper from the muffin itself it spoke to her.
It said, "Young Chihiro of Chardon Ohio you are a very special little girl
and the reason you are so special is-"before the cheese muffin could
finish Chihiro bit off the area its mouth was in.
"Ouch" the muffled voice of the cheese muffin said.
"Mmm...lemon poppy seed..." said Chihiro with a mouth full of muffin.
Unfortunately for Chihiro the muffin was just about to remind her of her
visit to the spirit world. I really wish he would have too because that
would save me a lot of trouble. Oh well, such is life.
When Chihiro or as I like to call her, Spotted Monkey with a Toothache, finished eating the lemon poppy seed flavored cheese muffin she turned her
head slowly to the woods exorcist style.
"Must travel into woods...must find necronomican...must destroy Henrietta!'
said Spotted Monkey with a Toothache.
Unfortunately again this is not a 1981 cult horror film directed by master Raimi and there is no necronomican to be found but alas earwax. So Chihiro threw her muffin wrapper on the ground (littering I might add) and walked
Barbie style to the woods, which is when you walk without bending your
knees.
The woods I am sorry to report were nothing special. Other than the moonlight cast on trees creating shadows and the cult that gathered every Tuesday for lamb's blood tea and crumpets all was well and unspecial-like. The little luck duck of Hackensack or Chihiro, as she is often referred to
pranced along merrily through the forest while humming Time Warp.
Prancing humming and occasionally tripping (on acid...just kidding, on model glue. Kidding again, she was just tripping over things which happens when you prance through a dark wooded area after ingesting a muffin laced with
opium) Chihiro was happy so naturally she became flatulent and began to
toot her horn.
The strong foul gasses that seeped from her butt started a chain of events I like to call, "Chihiro's gas kills every living thing within a ten foot radius". So now Chi-Chi the magic garden hose was clearing her own path,
which was always a good thing.
Eventually the fun fad to stop and indeed it did when Froofroo slash Chihiro reached the amusement park which suspiciously resembled an ancient temple but couldn't have been because there are no ancient temples residing
there unless you count the muffin factory which doesn't exist because I lied about it and now I am going to hell to burn eternally because of my transgressions and I am also going to be struck dead by the almighty God who will send a pack of ravenous lemmings to tear the flesh off of my bones
while I am still alive. But I digress...
The dead leaves swirled about the entrance beckoning Chihiro inside. Being the gullible one she is Chihibbittydibbity walked right into the amusement park. Lined up along a dirt road in which Chihirbbittydibbity was standing
were about twenty or so empty concession stands.
In the not so far distance Chihiro caught sight of some quick animal like
movement.
"Perhaps it is a badger or a mongoose" Chihiro reassured herself.
Immediately after these words left her depths a large dark and pungent
creature leaped in front of her and shouted:
"Me gusta los pantelones! Ayayayay!"
staring at the figure Chihiro realized this creature was a man. A man made of cheese. And not just any cheese he was a mixture of swiss and provolone
cheese.
"oh screw" Chihiro panicked "you are going to rape me and steal my
valuables aren't you?"
the cheese man did not understand Chihiro but attempted to further
communication anyways. He said slowly as if talking to a handicapped
person:
"los fideos son muy calientes cuando pongo en mis pantelones"
Chihiro seemed to understand that this gentle beast meant no harm.
"Good you're not going to violate my property and me." A relieved look
dominated her face like a dog would a strange man's leg.
"You got a name?" inquired Chihiro.
"me nombre es Señor Queso" he then proceeded to roll his r's like the crazy
people on those Spanish game shows do when they become over excited.
"Ting tang walla walla Washington," Chihiro replied which is Icelandic for
'pass the woopee cushion please'.
"Do you live here?" asked she.
"Sí vivo en una río de servesas," he said which of course means, "why yes
my fair lady I live right here".
"donde estas vives tu?" asked he.
This angered Chihiro for she knew it was not safe to tell a stranger where
you live even under these circumstances, deciding it was time to part
Chihiro warbled:
"I must go for I am Azna ruler of the green ones," and she turned to leave.
But as she turned to leave Mr. Cheese jumped her from behind and they both went tumbling to the ground. (Mr. Cheese was on top of Chihiro in case you
were wondering) The sun began to rise rapidly and unnaturally causing immense heat to shine
on Mr. Cheese. This caused him to melt. Slow at first then faster and faster until Chihiro was completely covered in cheese. Then the sun fell
from the sky and it was once again night.
When chitty Chitty Bang Bang had caught her breath ling enough to examine herself for injuries she found a book lying in her stomach. It was a book
bound in human flesh and inked in blood.
"The necronomican, yay! Now I can reverse the spell and save Harry Potter
from the dancing bears and chimney sweeps!"
Chihiro got up and skipped into the horizon.
The End
Note: My Spanish is not perfect so please excuse that.