Chapter 54: Workman's Comp
Renamon began to get the impression that this was not going to be a good trip: both Hare and Tiger were assigned to accompany this outing, along with herself. And Tina, their nosy roommate, was also in the party, so Rika wasn't too happy, either. Rika was even less happy to see that Tina would be sleeping through most of the trip: "Oh, right! You go ahead and sleep all cozy in your little sleeping bag, while we do all the work!" she spat. Rika couldn't tell whether Tina had heard her or not, but Tina didn't answer and kept her eyes shut.
Rika sighed as Imperialdramon headed inland. She sincerely hoped that she wouldn't have to handle the fish that were in the boxcars that dangled from Imperialdramon's body.
They landed out in the country, and they found out that the people who lived there wouldn't be able to keep the fish for very long: there was no electricity, and that meant that their refrigerators wouldn't work. If there was no refrigeration, the people wouldn't be able to keep the meat fresh. All they could trade for was a few bushels of rice, which were a lot less than they expected. So that didn't go too well.
"Boy, this is turning out to be a successful trip!" Davis spat.
"And it's only just starting!" Rika added.
"Hey! Quit being pessimistic! We've been through all that already!" Tibemon yelled.
The next stop was Hawaii. Unfortunately, Imperialdramon wasn't able to go at his top speed; if he hit warp speed, chances are the cables that held the boxcars would break. So he had to plod along at 600 miles per hour, not even as fast as sound. It took hours to get to Hawaii, but there was some good news: at the altitude that Imperialdramon was flying, the air was so cold that it refrigerated the fish for them.
They landed at a fruit plantation, hoping that there would be someone there. The trees were loaded down with bananas, but they looked untended.
"You think this place is abandoned?" Ken asked.
"Good question," Davis agreed. "Let's try the foreman's house."
They found the foreman, all right. He had a very stocky build, was both fat and strong, and he looked like the kind of person you'd expect to wrestle alligators. He was more than willing to trade fruit for meat, but there was a problem: he didn't have any workers. "This is what happens when labor is so hard to find! The only workers I've found are too sickly to work! They try to work, though, and the moment they get sick, they scream 'workman's comp!' and end up freeloading off of me! I've had to send my sons and nephews out to pick enough food for us to live! It's just a good thing that they suddenly became 18 when, before, they were all less than ten years old!"
"…So you're saying we should pick another plantation to trade with?"
"No! I mean…well, if you guys were willing to...uh, help pick---?"
"Uh…" Davis was hesitant to answer.
Just then, they heard the scream of angry saberstrikes attacking.
"They're attacking a mega digimon?!" Imperialdramon asked aloud. "Man! That's a new low for stupidity, even for them! Ultra Cannon!"
"Imperialdramon, stop!" Ken yelled. "I have an idea!" He pulled his whip from his belt. "Time to field-test these changes Cleaver made!" He swiped it several times in the saberstrikes' direction, and a few black shapes flew at them. Rika, Tina, and Davis suddenly realized what Ken was doing: he was using manipulation rings on the saberstrikes. And it seemed to be working: the saberstrikes stopped in their tracks and started attacking the ones that hadn't been taken by the rings. "Yes! It worked!"
"Whoa, Ken…! You're reviving your old Digimon Emperor technology?"
"It's that technology that got us into this mess…and maybe it'll help get us out, too! …And speaking of cheap labor…"
******
There were three things about this job that Rika really didn't like: first, the fact that there was dried blood on the saberstrikes' claws, and, second, the fact that she was the one who was supposed to sterilize that blood off of them. (She knew why she had to sterilize the blood off: it was so that the saberstrikes would be able to cut the bananas off the trees in a sanitary way.) But the third thing that she didn't like was that Imperialdramon was going to be leaving. "So…we just wait for him to come back and pick us up?" she asked Ken.
"That's the plan."
"What if he doesn't come back?"
"He will."
"But you know how time is messed up! It could be years before he comes back for us!" she insisted as she scrubbed bleach onto the claws of one of the saberstrikes.
"I know, but he'll hurry back. And we'll be able to survive even if it is years."
"Huh! If you say so…"
It took a while, but eventually all the saberstrikes were clean and whacking away at the full banana trees. While they were attacking the trees, the weather did the strangest thing yet: a downpour would start and stop intermittently, but the time between starts and stops would be anywhere between a few seconds and a few hours.
Rika sat under the overhang of the foreman's house's porch, watching the saberstrikes soak and chop away at banana trees with their huge, two-fingered claws. It wasn't the most entertaining thing to do. Watching the saberstrikes became even less entertaining when the foreman sat down next to her and began telling her how wonderful it was that there were robots working his fields instead of people. "Let me tell you, this beats having people yell at you about workman's compensation and minimum wages! Not to mention health and human rights!"
"Hmph."
"Let me tell you, we'd make several hundred thousand a year off this here plantation! The company would give me such huge bonuses and commissions for the work we did! Several hundred thousand! Now, let me tell you, living your life as a foreman is a great way to make a living! Beats getting an education and working your back off from nine to five!"
"Hmph."
"It's only good if the workers are cooperative. Let me tell you about a labor strike they had once back in twenty-two. You were about five or six then, so you might not remember what the economy was doing to us. But imagine the audacity of asking for a pay raise when there was a recession!"
"Hmph."
"The company was thinking about shutting this plantation down! That would've had me out of a job so fast, I would've had to sell my house! So I had to give in. I gave them the pay raise they were holding out for. They just couldn't go without that extra one-dollar-a-week, could they? That killed my bonus for that year, and I was planning to have a swimming pool put into my house!"
"Hmph……huh? Isn't that a swimming pool over there?" Rika asked, gesturing to their left.
"Well, yes, but it's not indoors. I could get sunburned out there if I'm not careful!"
"Don't your workers get sunburned?"
"Well, they do, but they're just workers. Of course, these metal things won't complain about being sunburned, now will they?"
"…I don't think that they will, no."
"Not in this weather." The foreman laughed, lighting up a cigarette (to Rika's chagrin). "That's what I like about technology. Always making life easier for people."
"This isn't man-made technology, actually."
"Really?"
"It was made by creatures from another world who want to destroy humanity and take over the world."
"…That kind of technology doesn't strike me as the kind that would pick bananas."
"They wouldn't if a few of us hadn't come up with a way to control their core programs and make them do what we want."
"…Oh, well that's all right, then."
"It's a lot more comforting to know that they're cutting plants instead of digimon or people."
"Amen. I've heard that those annoying things are cutting the population of unskilled laborers in the cities! The only place to survive is out in the country."
" 'Annoying' isn't the word I would use…" Rika was interrupted as the war cry of several gorillouts sounded. " 'Dangerous' is more like it!" She pressed a few buttons on her digivice, and Renamon appeared in a flash. Renamon tossed Rika a rain poncho on her way out the door. "Digi-modify: digivolution, activate!"
"Renamon, digivolve to…Rufusmon!"
Ken, Hare, and Tiger jumped out of the house, too. Ken tossed Davis's two digi-eggs at Hare and Tiger.
"Hare, module-evolve to…Firabbit!"
"Tiger, module-evolve to…Thunderdog!"
"I wish Cleaver had figured out an evolution algorithm for these things!" Ken muttered. "Saberstrikes! I am your master! Do as I command: stop working on the banana plants and start counterattacking the gorillouts!" The saberstrikes were stupider and not as powerful as the gorillouts, so they didn't fare well.
Thunderdog raced to Rufusmon's side. "So…do you like my form?"
"Uh…its electric attacks are working better than my fire attacks in this weather…"
Tiger hoped that was a complement.
"Digi-modify! Armor, activate!"
Rufusmon tried smacking the gorillouts with her tail, but the attacks just weren't working. The gorillouts were more on the offensive than on the defensive with Rufusmon; they kept firing their YoNon Gazrii attacks at her.
Firabbit and Thunderdog kept having to save her neck, which made all of them feel all the more strange in this fight. Every time Firabbit saved her, Thunderdog became jealous. Every time Thunderdog saved her, Firabbit was jealous. It was a vicious cycle.
Rika thought aloud to herself, "This just isn't coming off! If only I could Matrix digivolve…now, how did Takato say it happened?" She held up a card and stared at it. "Come on! Change into a blue card!" The card didn't do anything except get wet in the rain. She snarled in disgust…only to find that her speed card in her other hand had become a blue card. She swiped it through her D-Arc. "Digi-modify! Matrix Digivolution, activate!"
"Rufusmon, digivolve to…Cyberrufusmon!" Cyberrufusmon looked a lot like Taomon, but she had a somewhat more robotic look, and had a satellite dish where the yin-yang had been on Taomon's chest.
This shocked both Firabbit and Thunderdog. They stood there, gawking at her for a second. Unfortunately, a second was all the gorillouts needed: "YoNon Gazrii!" …And they both regressed back to Hare and Tiger, and landed in the wet muck of the plantation.
"Oh, yes…very impressive," Cyberrufusmon mused.
"Let's get this battle over-with fast, Rufusmon!" Rika suggested. "We'll need to work quick to make sure that someone will be able to fight if we get another attack, and it'll be a while before Hare and Tiger recover from those hits! Digi-modify! Upgrade, activate!"
Cyberrufusmon's firepower increased. The dish on her chest glowed a hot white. "Displacement wave!" she shouted. A wave of space distortion flew out from the dish and knocked the gorillouts backwards. She raised her long-sleeved arms up. "Laser UZI!" she shouted, and a hailstorm of sparks flew out and destroyed the gorillouts. Cyberrufusmon flew over to Hare and Tiger and began to carry them indoors. "So…how are you feeling?"
"Oh, don't mind me! That wasn't so---" "Those things aren't so tough if you---" "I think that was the easiest fight ever! Why did I ever module-evolve if---" "Don't worry about me, I'm okay---"
"I see…" Cyberrufusmon answered. "You two look like you could use a shower…one with soap, I mean; not like the one you're getting now."
"We'll do that," they both said at once.
Cyberrufusmon shook her head with disgust.