"Come back to Bed"
Author's Note: Another Summer/Ryan fic. I'm not sure what I think of this. Parts of me like it and parts don't. The title comes from a John Mayer song as do the lyrics below. Please leave me feedback.
"You can be mad in the morning. I'll take back what I said. Just don't leave me alone here It's cold, baby Come back to bed"
Ryan sighed. His life had been such a mess lately. It was different then the messes he got in in Chino. Those were normal and acceptable. Now he was in Newport where everything worked entirely different. He wasn't able to cope with it; he didn't know what to do. Instead of facing his problems, he was digging his hole deeper. He was sleeping with his girlfriend's best friend. He was a jerk.
Summer was avoiding walking back to the main part of the pool house. She had been upset with Ryan and herself but mostly with Ryan. She had pouted and left him alone in his bed while she headed to his bathroom. She turned the water on steaming hot hoping that it would scorch her purify her. After taking a shower and scrubbing her skin to the point that it was bright red and ached, she stepped out of the tub. She meant to just change and head back out to face Ryan, but she couldn't. Instead she sat on the toilet thinking and wanting to cry and wanting to feel guilty and instead feeling nothing.
Ryan was starting to get worried about Summer so he sat up. He knew she was stubborn and wouldn't want him bothering her so instead he called out to her.
At first she ignored him but eventually she got the courage to leave the bathroom. She plastered a smile on her face and walked into the main room and sat down on the edge of his bed.
He reached for her but she shrugged him off. He had no reaction to this, and it pissed her off. After what seemed like hours of akward silence, she spoke up.
"Ryan, are we going to hell?"
Ryan was taken back. He was aghast. He wanted to laugh but knew it would piss her off. Instead he chose to play dumb.
"Why would you think that?"
"You know damn well what I mean. We slept together. The first time was excusable because we were both drunk. The second time we were just lonely so that too has a shot of being excused. Last night though, there was not reason. There is no reason we can make up to make it right. The truth is, Ryan, we were bored and that is why it happened."
After contemplating how to respond, Ryan finally spoke up. "Who said it was ever wrong?"
Summer's anger was building up. The guilt over not feeling guilty was being ignited, and she was taking it out on Ryan. She knew this was wrong, but she didn't care. It felt great to have control over something.
"How can you even think it isn't wrong?! I am with Seth and you're with Marissa. There isn't anything between us but sex. Hell, we can't even stand each other!"
Ryan felt like he was slapped. Sure he thought Summer was a spoiled brat, but he was growing fond of her. Sometimes after they had sex, they would talk. Technically she would talk, and he would listen. He learned stuff about her. Maybe she had no idea how much she really meant to him. That was ok with him too. If she knew, things would be complicated, and Ryan hated complications.
He didn't want her to know that he knew her favorite color was hot pink. He would die if she found out he would spend his time during class thinking about how she sleeps with her teddy bear at night. She had little quirks that he absolutely loved. For example, she would order cheeseburgers without the cheese. It made her feel like she was dieting, she once told him.
Instead of declaring his adoration for her, he would go on sleeping with her. He would agree when she continued to remind him they hated each other. He would pretend that listening to her confide in him when their bodies were intertwined meant nothing.
Not only was he afraid of what would happen if he confessed his feelings, he was afraid of the consequences. He suspected she felt the same, but they could never have anything more together than they did now. He couldn't do that to Marissa, and he sure as hell couldn't do that to Seth. If this ever leaked, he'd be homeless. His entire existence relied on him keeping his mouth shut, and that was ok. He was good at being silent, but never in his life had he wanted to tell something so much as well as ignore it. He wished he didn't have these feelings, but he did, and so he must live with them.
Ryan turned his attention back to Summer. She had finished her rant and seemed to have cooled down. Smiling a half smile at her, he pulled her down next to him. He wanted to spend some time with her before he had to go pick up Marissa and resume his life.
Author's Note: Another Summer/Ryan fic. I'm not sure what I think of this. Parts of me like it and parts don't. The title comes from a John Mayer song as do the lyrics below. Please leave me feedback.
"You can be mad in the morning. I'll take back what I said. Just don't leave me alone here It's cold, baby Come back to bed"
Ryan sighed. His life had been such a mess lately. It was different then the messes he got in in Chino. Those were normal and acceptable. Now he was in Newport where everything worked entirely different. He wasn't able to cope with it; he didn't know what to do. Instead of facing his problems, he was digging his hole deeper. He was sleeping with his girlfriend's best friend. He was a jerk.
Summer was avoiding walking back to the main part of the pool house. She had been upset with Ryan and herself but mostly with Ryan. She had pouted and left him alone in his bed while she headed to his bathroom. She turned the water on steaming hot hoping that it would scorch her purify her. After taking a shower and scrubbing her skin to the point that it was bright red and ached, she stepped out of the tub. She meant to just change and head back out to face Ryan, but she couldn't. Instead she sat on the toilet thinking and wanting to cry and wanting to feel guilty and instead feeling nothing.
Ryan was starting to get worried about Summer so he sat up. He knew she was stubborn and wouldn't want him bothering her so instead he called out to her.
At first she ignored him but eventually she got the courage to leave the bathroom. She plastered a smile on her face and walked into the main room and sat down on the edge of his bed.
He reached for her but she shrugged him off. He had no reaction to this, and it pissed her off. After what seemed like hours of akward silence, she spoke up.
"Ryan, are we going to hell?"
Ryan was taken back. He was aghast. He wanted to laugh but knew it would piss her off. Instead he chose to play dumb.
"Why would you think that?"
"You know damn well what I mean. We slept together. The first time was excusable because we were both drunk. The second time we were just lonely so that too has a shot of being excused. Last night though, there was not reason. There is no reason we can make up to make it right. The truth is, Ryan, we were bored and that is why it happened."
After contemplating how to respond, Ryan finally spoke up. "Who said it was ever wrong?"
Summer's anger was building up. The guilt over not feeling guilty was being ignited, and she was taking it out on Ryan. She knew this was wrong, but she didn't care. It felt great to have control over something.
"How can you even think it isn't wrong?! I am with Seth and you're with Marissa. There isn't anything between us but sex. Hell, we can't even stand each other!"
Ryan felt like he was slapped. Sure he thought Summer was a spoiled brat, but he was growing fond of her. Sometimes after they had sex, they would talk. Technically she would talk, and he would listen. He learned stuff about her. Maybe she had no idea how much she really meant to him. That was ok with him too. If she knew, things would be complicated, and Ryan hated complications.
He didn't want her to know that he knew her favorite color was hot pink. He would die if she found out he would spend his time during class thinking about how she sleeps with her teddy bear at night. She had little quirks that he absolutely loved. For example, she would order cheeseburgers without the cheese. It made her feel like she was dieting, she once told him.
Instead of declaring his adoration for her, he would go on sleeping with her. He would agree when she continued to remind him they hated each other. He would pretend that listening to her confide in him when their bodies were intertwined meant nothing.
Not only was he afraid of what would happen if he confessed his feelings, he was afraid of the consequences. He suspected she felt the same, but they could never have anything more together than they did now. He couldn't do that to Marissa, and he sure as hell couldn't do that to Seth. If this ever leaked, he'd be homeless. His entire existence relied on him keeping his mouth shut, and that was ok. He was good at being silent, but never in his life had he wanted to tell something so much as well as ignore it. He wished he didn't have these feelings, but he did, and so he must live with them.
Ryan turned his attention back to Summer. She had finished her rant and seemed to have cooled down. Smiling a half smile at her, he pulled her down next to him. He wanted to spend some time with her before he had to go pick up Marissa and resume his life.