A/N: This is *slash* meaning male/male pairing. If you don't like it; press the back button on your browser now. It's also rated R, because it will be getting violent/graphic in later chapters. I will not tolerate flames. I own nothing except this lame attempt at a fic, everything else is all copyrighted to J.K. Rowlings, Scholastic, etc...
This chapter is un-beta'ed for now, and I will be reposting it beta'ed soon. For now, here's the first chapter, enjoy. -- slytherin_when_i_lie
Chatper One - What's In a Name
I have to run away...
That would be easier than admitting what you do to me. Everything would be so much simpler if I could only decipher what was behind those icy cobalt-silver eyes. I don't have the power to do that, and I never will. I always thought I could read people pretty well. Everyone always told me that. Hell, I was Gryffindor's Golden Boy, the Boy-Who-Lived; destined to save the world from the Dark Lord, and I couldn't even figure out what you really meant each time you sneered at me, your upper lip curled just so in disdain.
I always try to read people, to know their intentions...But you were the only thing I never could figure out. I could never understand how much of your hatred you actually mean. After Sirius...I didn't really want to anymore. I thought I was over all of that. Fuck being the Boy-Who-Lived, fuck Albus Dumbledore and all his stupid lies. Fuck you, Draco Malfoy, for making me realize I still don't know what I want. I thought I wanted to be left alone.
I spent my summer surrounded by the Weasley's and Hermione once the Dursley's got sick of my presence; which didn't take very long. Everyone at the Burrow was carefully avoiding talk of Sirius. Good, let them do what they want. None of them knew Sirius like I did, and it's my fault he died. Let me suffer in peace. I suffer enough just because of my last name. Or, at least; I thought that was suffering. It wasn't. Nothing compares to this. Nothing compares to wanting what I can never have. Oh, bloody well forget it. It doesn't matter, nothing matters. Forget saving Sirius, I can't even save myself.
I should hate you for this, you know. Making me sit here at night in the Common Room and think about all of the things that are going on. I'm only 17, I can't save everyone, and I can't save the world. I don't want to, either. Find another damn savior. Prophesize this, you bastards. I can't stop thinking about you, and you don't even have a clue as to how I feel. Nothing I say would meet with even a smile from you. You'd just sneer in that way that's so -Malfoy- that it makes me want to grab you and kiss those icy lips; just to get you to stop sneering at me.... But I know better, you'll never do anything but sneer at me. You can't help who you are. That's why I love you....
You can't help being Draco Malfoy...
Just like I can't help being Harry Potter.
Although sometimes I wish I was anyone but me.
This chapter is un-beta'ed for now, and I will be reposting it beta'ed soon. For now, here's the first chapter, enjoy. -- slytherin_when_i_lie
Chatper One - What's In a Name
I have to run away...
That would be easier than admitting what you do to me. Everything would be so much simpler if I could only decipher what was behind those icy cobalt-silver eyes. I don't have the power to do that, and I never will. I always thought I could read people pretty well. Everyone always told me that. Hell, I was Gryffindor's Golden Boy, the Boy-Who-Lived; destined to save the world from the Dark Lord, and I couldn't even figure out what you really meant each time you sneered at me, your upper lip curled just so in disdain.
I always try to read people, to know their intentions...But you were the only thing I never could figure out. I could never understand how much of your hatred you actually mean. After Sirius...I didn't really want to anymore. I thought I was over all of that. Fuck being the Boy-Who-Lived, fuck Albus Dumbledore and all his stupid lies. Fuck you, Draco Malfoy, for making me realize I still don't know what I want. I thought I wanted to be left alone.
I spent my summer surrounded by the Weasley's and Hermione once the Dursley's got sick of my presence; which didn't take very long. Everyone at the Burrow was carefully avoiding talk of Sirius. Good, let them do what they want. None of them knew Sirius like I did, and it's my fault he died. Let me suffer in peace. I suffer enough just because of my last name. Or, at least; I thought that was suffering. It wasn't. Nothing compares to this. Nothing compares to wanting what I can never have. Oh, bloody well forget it. It doesn't matter, nothing matters. Forget saving Sirius, I can't even save myself.
I should hate you for this, you know. Making me sit here at night in the Common Room and think about all of the things that are going on. I'm only 17, I can't save everyone, and I can't save the world. I don't want to, either. Find another damn savior. Prophesize this, you bastards. I can't stop thinking about you, and you don't even have a clue as to how I feel. Nothing I say would meet with even a smile from you. You'd just sneer in that way that's so -Malfoy- that it makes me want to grab you and kiss those icy lips; just to get you to stop sneering at me.... But I know better, you'll never do anything but sneer at me. You can't help who you are. That's why I love you....
You can't help being Draco Malfoy...
Just like I can't help being Harry Potter.
Although sometimes I wish I was anyone but me.