Chapter 9

"What are you doing?"

"Well, since you weren't supposed to leave the sofa… and my job is not yet finished. I'm taking you back to your perch and we're going to finish what we started."

"Cameron, it's just a couple of steps. I can get to the sofa all by myself."

Her laughter eased a bit of the tension he felt brought on by his waltzing into matters that Alexis clearly wasn't ready to deal with. Truth be told, she probably wouldn't ever be ready to deal with them given it would take a complete adjustment in her way of thinking. So for now they would deal with the issues that she was comfortable with. Time was on his side whether Alexis knew it or not.

"Stop fidgeting before I drop you. And all you have to do is accept, Alexis. Accept that I'm just trying to do a service for you that you've needed for a long time. So just sit back and… accept."

She crossed her arms dramatically in front of her and rolled her eyes at him.

"Fine… this is me… accepting."

"Good."

He placed her on the sofa just as he did earlier when he brushed her hair out and pulled the brush from his back pocket once again. Kneeling down he took away the hair clip and let her hair fall down the side of the sofa. Taking his time he brushed her hair until it crackled with electricity. He could have stayed on his knees brushing the delicate strands of her hair for hours but he needed to get on with the next phase. Sitting back on his heels he breathed deeply reached out and ran his hand through her hair once more then stood up and moved to her side sliding her over just enough so he could sit beside her… his hip resting against hers.

"Now all you have to do is relax. Let me do all the work."

"Sounds ominous."

"Not in the least. This should take away all the stress, the worries, the tension."

"You have some kind of miracle drug in that basket of yours? Cameron, I don't do drugs."

He laughed gently and reached into the basket that was on the coffee table again waiting to share its wealth of wonders. This time he pulled a tube of lotion from its depth and squeezed a dollop into his palm. Returning its cap he tossed it back into the basket and focused his attention back on Alexis.

"I'm going to gently massage some of this into the tender parts of your skin where the glue has begun to irritate the flesh just like I did before when we took off the offending articles. It might sting a little in the beginning, but that will pass quickly. Now close your eyes."

Cameron began to massage the lotion into her skin much as he had earlier, however this time he was more aware of her. This time her eyes never left his face. Inch after inch he covered the reddened areas of her skin and with every caress he became more aware of her eyes as they bore into him… reaching so far into his soul that he feared he would lose himself. As his thumb began a slow silky caress along the line of her chin his gaze dropped to her mouth and his thumb absently followed his eyes to rest on her bottom lip. Would he taste the aftermath of the coffee or would he taste the natural sweetness of her? Would she pull away if he dared?

"Cameron?"

"Hmmm… uhmm… what?"

"Where did you go?"

"Oh sorry I was just thinking."

From the direction his musings took him, Cameron thought it was high time to put a little conversation on the table... Preferably something that wouldn't tempt his appetite for the woman that lay calmly beside him allowing him to take certain liberties with her that he believed she had never experienced before. Especially at the hands of a man who wanted more… who wanted the freedom to run his hands over every inch of her body… who wanted to lose himself in her.

"Must have been pretty serious given it took you a while to hear me call you."

"I was just thinking that you owe me some answers now."

"I do seem to recall a certain deal we made. So go ahead, ask your questions but remember there is a boundary in place."

Straightening up, Cameron picked up a damp towel off the coffee table and wiped the remaining lotion from his hands then reached for the basket again. The question that was already on the table would be difficult for her, but at least both of their minds would be on something other than how his hands felt on her.

"I remember… nothing in regards to Kristina's father. No problem. But, do you remember what the last question was?"

He felt more than saw her hesitate then mentally strengthen her resolve to hold up her end of their deal.

"Alexis, would you like to void the deal. It's fine if you don't want to discuss it."

"No it's okay. I remember the question… it's just… hard."

"I know."

He pulled a bottle of lotion from the bottom of the basket and poured some into his palm then recapped the bottle. Rubbing his hands together a moment he then reached for her left arm and began to rub the lotion in starting at the top of her arm and moving down toward her hand.

"Now I know why this little outfit you provided has short sleeves rather than the long I'm accustomed to. You must have had this planned for quite a while. How often have you bought nightwear for women, Cameron?"

"This is the first and you're stalling. Just talk, Alexis. Read me a book. What is the greatest loss you've ever suffered?"

Alexis relaxed into the feel of his hands running up and down her arm and began to slowly answer the question.

"Most everyone I know would automatically assume that losing my sister was the greatest loss I've suffered. And if you had asked me that question a year ago her loss would have been the greatest. But, after thinking about it… I believe it would be more accurate to say that Luis Alcazar was the greatest loss I've suffered."

His hands abruptly stopped their ministrations as he stared at her in shock and confusion.

"Alcazar? Alexis, why?"

"That one loss of human life cost me in ways I could never have imagined a year ago. I not only lost my sister because of him, but I lost my daughter. I lost my livelihood, my license to practice law. I lost the respect of my peers that I fought long and hard for. I lost my reputation. I lost respect for the judicial system that I spent the better part of my life defending and I lost faith in myself. What I lost on a personal basis has already cost my daughter. Out of all of it… losing faith in myself is the most devastating not only to me but to my daughter as well. She will suffer because her mother is less than she once was. Because of Luis Alcazar, before and after his death… I lost everything."

His hands began to gently massage her arm once again. He allowed silence to fill the room as they both took in the magnitude of her words. Picking the bottle of lotion up he poured a little more into his palm and then began to work on her hand. Finger by finger he paid careful attention to his chore and when he felt her eyes rest on him again he looked up. The sadness, the loss… it was there in her eyes. His hands drew still and he lowered her hand down to rest within his own atop his thigh. His heart was bleeding for her and he needed to try and ease a bit of the pain she was feeling. Reaching for her with his left hand he tenderly moved the hair away from her eyes and leaned forward to gently rest his lips against hers. Without passion, without desire… he just wanted to try and heal some of the hurt. Breaking away from her he leaned back then continued to massage her hand.

"Not that I agree with your statement about being less than you once were, because I don't; but I will leave it until another time. I'm not up to arguing with you tonight. Ready for another question?"

He felt her heave a sigh of relief and mentally slapped himself on the back for not pushing the issue. By some miracle he had read her right this time.

"Why not, we've come this far. I don't think there's much more you could ask that could measure up to the last one. Do your worst, Dr. Lewis."

She was teasing him in an effort to let him know she was okay. And gazing into her eyes he found that she successfully put away the pain caused by Luis Alcazar or as much as she could given the level of devastation the man had caused her.

"You and I are alike in more ways than one, Miss Davis. We have the ability to put away that which hurts us the most. No one who comes into contact with us on a daily basis could ever fathom the dysfunction we live with every day. No one could grasp the punishment we force ourselves to endure by our own hand regarding the failures that are so disproportionate to the successes of our lives."

"Where did you read that one?"

"I think it was in the last 'American Psychiatry' issue. It sounded so good I figured it would come in handy some day so I memorized it."

They laughed together for a moment each knowing that he hit closer to home than they really cared to admit.

"What's your next question, doctor?"

"How about… outside of your daughter, who is the most important person in your life?"

"Right now I would have to say Ned Ashton."

His jaw dropped with incredulity as he fought to understand. "Ashton? Ned Ashton?"

"Ouch… Hey… relax Cameron. My daughter is going to need me to have full use of my hand in the morning."

He immediately loosened the painful grip on her hand and began to gently coax the blood back into her fingers.

"Sorry. You caught me off guard with that one."

"I'll say. Where did you get a grip like that?"

"Don't leave me hanging, Alexis. Could you please explain to me why Ned Ashton holds a place of such importance in your life now?"

"You wouldn't happen to be jealous would you, Dr. Lewis?"

"Alexis…."

"Alright, Alright. Lighten up, Cameron."

Cameron finished with her left hand then reached for her right arm. He needed time to get control of himself. Her answer to his question had thrown him and he felt the heat of jealousy begin to churn in his stomach. He had no use for Ashton. The man was an imbecile and his treatment of Alexis… 'Calm down, man. Let her explain. Don't blow this out of proportion.'

"I seem to have an unhealthy dislike of your friend Ned Ashton."

"I can see that, but it's not what you think. My daughter is under Ned's care. I put my daughter into his arms and asked him to take care of her. And since he is failing miserably, I can't help but constantly worry about the welfare of my daughter while she is in his care… in that house of incompetent misfits… vulnerable to Skye's manipulations."

"But we're going to fix that, Alexis."

"You don't understand, Cameron. Ned and I have a history."

Cameron picked up the bottle of lotion again and continued his care of Alexis. There was a storm of unease and confusion raging through him and he needed to keep busy in order to contain the turmoil inside. She was waiting for a response from him and gauging the look on her face she knew he was having trouble with the turn of the conversation.

"Go on, Alexis. Tell me. I want to understand this."

"I'm sure you already know that Ned and I were… intimately involved for quite a while. He was the first person that I really let myself go with and even in saying that, there was so much that I couldn't share with him. We had fun together; shared a great deal of ourselves with each other. Ned became a cornerstone for me in a lot of ways. We had our highs and lows, but through it all we were able to remain friends. When I found myself pregnant and on my own, it was Ned that came through for me again. But, the thing that tore us apart in the first place is the very thing I'm having to fight now. Ned never did trust my competency to handle my own life. He was constantly trying to change me… force his beliefs on me. He always made me feel somehow inadequate. So what do you think happened when I created this grand scheme of bringing another personality into the picture to cover up the fact that a man died at my hands? In Ned's eyes, I basically proved to him that he had been right all along about me. Would it matter to him that it was an accident? No, it wouldn't."

"I don't understand why he hasn't figured all of this out if you and he were so close at one time. Hell, how long did it take me to figure out who 'Dobson' was? And for that matter, I've only known you for about 8 months and even though you frustrate the hell out of me sometimes, I know what you've done has all been just to protect your daughter. I know Alkazar's death was an accident. What is it about this guy that he can't see what I see?"

"All Ned sees is that 'his' daughter's mother is mentally unbalanced. You see the only way Ned could 'handle' me was to wrap me up in a pretty little box with a pretty little bow tied on top. Whatever came along that didn't fit inside that pretty little box he created was of no use to him. Not only did he limit me, but he limited what we could have been together. If he had just let me be me then I would have eventually trusted him enough to share everything with him… every part of my life. But evidently, it is just my lot in life to attract men who think I am incapable of or intelligent enough to run my own life. Granted I do make mistakes, but up until this last one I haven't done so badly with the day to day operations of my life. Those that I hold close though have other opinions and feel the need to remind me of that every chance they get."

He ducked his head as the import of her statement hit him squarely right between the eyes.

"Me included."

"You included."

Alexis pulled her arm out of his grasp and covered his hands with her own as she leaned forward intently to make sure she had his full attention.

"Cameron, I can't see a way out of this mess without losing Ned as a friend. It's one more loss I will have to deal with. But, my daughter is more important to me than all the friends and family I have ever been blessed with. She is the reason I breathe now. I've lost a lot in my life, but I have survived it all. I would not survive losing my daughter."

Cameron pulled his hands from hers and gently took her into his arms and whispered.

"If there ever comes a point in time that it looks like you might lose your daughter, I will personally pack your bags for you and call Luke Spencer to help me find a way to lose you somewhere in the world. But, I don't think it will come to that. I believe we are going to win this fight. You and I are going to work hard to bring that little girl home to her mother where she belongs. That is my promise to you, angel. I will not fail you, Alexis. Never again."

Her arms found their way around him and the warmth of them reached deep into the core of him. She pulled him closer and he went willingly. Her soft, 'Thank you' held more emotion than he thought mere words could hold and in that moment vowed on his own life that he would not let her down. Somehow Alexis would have her daughter with her as soon as he could possibly attain it and he would use every means necessary… every alliance at his disposal… every debt owed him… be it legal or not.