Chapter 11

"Cameron?"

"Hmmm?"

They were sitting at the dining room table having a cup of coffee after seeing Gail out. Cameron couldn't get enough of just sitting there and taking in the sight of what pure joy looked like on the face of the woman who had rocked his world. Nothing he could have done for her the evening before could have taken the stress and worry from her face as completely as having a couple of uninterrupted hours with her daughter. Every want, every need, every desire he had ever possessed was now reaching out to her wanting to be fulfilled by her alone. He wanted desperately to pull her into his arms and never let go. But, looking at her sitting across from him, all he saw in her eyes was her daughter. So, he did what he could to put away the feelings that were becoming harder and harder to contain. She just wasn't ready to consider allowing anything else into her life until Kristina was home where she belonged. A thought passed through his mind causing him to frown. It felt as if he was beginning to miss what he could have with Alexis more than he missed his son and that thought caused more distress than any other at that moment. Closing his eyes a brief moment he prayed that he wouldn't fail his son again.

"Cameron?"

Her voice interrupted his thoughts and turned his gaze toward her reaching to capture her hand in his.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine; just a few thoughts having their way with my head. What was it you were saying?"

"I was asking you what comes next?"

"We wait."

"For what?"

"For Gail to file her report with both Ryan and Farmer. Farmer sees who filed the report and excuses herself from the case, because the last thing she wants is to be impeached. And she knows if she engages in any funny business, Gail will file charges against her. It all has to do with some messy little custody case that Gail was involved in a few years ago. She nailed Farmer. Caught her dead to rights and told her if they crossed paths again, she wouldn't hesitate to do whatever was necessary to relieve her of her seat. I like Gail Baldwin. The woman has a lot of integrity."

"Gail said she knew everything about my case. Just how much does she know, Cameron?"

"Like she said, everything."

"Even…"

"Even Alcazar. It seems that your reputation is not as jaded as you might think. Gail has always respected you and when I was explaining things to her last night she backed me into a corner and told me that if I didn't level with her then I could find myself another patsy. Before I even had the chance to explain what really happened she said and I quote, "It was self-defense, wasn't it?"

"She said that?"

"Yep. Know what else she said when we left you two alone in your room?"

"What?"

"She said she had never seen that much love in a mother eyes before."

"I think I'm rather fond of Gail Baldwin myself."

"I thought you might be."

He watched her rise from her seat and move to stand beside him. He shifted slightly to turn toward her. Before his mind could grasp her intention he watched as if in slow motion her lean toward him and lay her lips tenderly against his. Question asked and answered. No coffee, no residual mouthwash, just the sweet natural pureness of her… pulling his soul from him then dropping it like an anvil when she pulled away leaving him suspended in time with just the lingering taste of her to haunt him.

"I think I'm rather fond of you too, Cameron Lewis. Thank you… for last night, this morning… for everything. Now you have to go. There are a few things I need to take care of without your prying eyes."

He swallowed with difficulty and reigned in the passion that was quickly morphing out of control and stood up... painfully.

"You… ahem… you're throwing me out?"

"Yes, I am. But, you're more than welcome to come back later and have dinner with me if you like."

"I like. What time?"

"How about coming by about 7?"

"Fine. Oh wait a minute… I forgot something."

Cameron took hold of her with both hands and peered into her eyes sternly.

"No more 'Dobson', Alexis. You cannot go back to the Quartermaine's except for your regular scheduled appointments. You do understand that, don't you?"

"Cameron, I have to…"

"Alexis… I'm asking you not to do anything that will cause us to lose your daughter. Let Gail do what she needs to do without you getting in her way. If you want your daughter, you have to play this Gail's way. We are so close to getting her back, please don't do anything to jeopardize all of our efforts."

"You really believe that Gail is going to be able to get my daughter back?"

"In record time."

"If I don't show up there in the morning, I can't ever show up as 'Dobson' again. You know what that means."

"Yes, I do. I know what it means to you and I know what it means to Kristina. I know what I'm asking of you. Burn the English duds, Alexis. You don't need them anymore."

"You can't imagine what you asking me to do."

Her head dropped to rest on his chest and her hand came up to take hold of his shoulder. Cameron knew she was simply hanging on in an effort to steady herself. And he knew exactly what he was asking her to do and if she could do it… if she could let go he would be so much closer to having his own dreams fulfilled.

"Yes I can, Alexis. I'm asking you to relinquish control of your life to Gail and I until this mess is resolved."

"Cameron… I… I can't do that. I wouldn't know how even if I wanted to. What you're asking me to do is…"

Gently pushing her away from him he guided her back to her chair then knelt in front of her taking both of her hands in his.

"I'm asking you to trust me… I'm asking you to take a chance on me… For once in my life let me be the man I was always supposed to be. I'm asking you to let me take responsibility for bringing a family together; one that never should have been torn apart in the first place. Alexis, let me do for you what I couldn't do for myself."

He fought with everything in him to still the rising emotion… the tears that had remained dormant for so long. Tears that testified to how much he loved his sons… how much he missed them… how much he failed them. He suddenly found himself within the circle of her arms and the ache he felt inside for lost dreams… lost chances… lost love raged against the walls of his soul. He felt her begin to rock him softly back and forth as she had done with her child so many times before. His arms found their way around her waist and he relaxed into the care of this woman who understood what he felt… she understood his loss. And she cared.