Guilty Gear Messed Up
--
I do not own the Guilty Gear franchise, nor do I own Capcom, Bandai, or authors that appear in this fic! I only own this fic!
However, Nazareth is mine! YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM!!... Ah screw it; you can use him in your stories if you mention me, okay?
By the way, I'm only doing this fic for fun, so if any authors in here appear and get hurt, I really don't mean it. Okay?
--
[The large beast finally walks out of the water; it is walking blindly past a beach, crushing sand, stray puppy dogs, and people whose names rhyme with Sheo Darren]
Rheo Farren: OH GOD! [Gets crushed]
Leopaldon: ROAR!!!
[Oops. My bad.]
--
[In movie land, we see--wait, hear someone screaming]
Sol [still screaming since last chapter]: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--[Hits ground at long last] OOF!! Ow… [Looks around; sees that he's animated] Hey, am I in the f***in movie? This is like that Millennium Actress movie, except… this is nothing like Millennium Actress. Well, time to find Ky and Jam.
Mystic Voice Male: Wait, man.
Mystic Voice Female: You must listen to us.
Sol: Wait a minute… Are you those superheroes, Sexy Silvia and Viewtiful Joe?
Silvia: Yes.
Joe: Want my autograph? [Astral slap to the face] Ow!
Silvia: Joe, honey, now is not the time!
Joe: Sorry.
Sol: Okay, so I know that I gotta save that idiot Ky and his idiot sex-bag, I mean girlfriend. Right?
Joe: Yeah, that's about right. But you have not fully realized your super-heroic pow--
Sol: I don't need super powers! I can rescue those two on my own!
Joe: Suit yourself, dude. But if you ever need any granting of super-powers, just say the magic word.
Sol: Fine!
[The voices disappear]
Sol: Wait… what is the magic word? Dammit…
--
Potemkin: I'm going to follow my dream. I will be… AN ARTIST!!
[Potemkin no longer dons his bomb collar and such; he now wears one of those white robes that painters use.]
Potemkin: I must follow my dreams! But I will have to leave Zepp in order to travel around, and see the splendor of nature! Now how am I going to get out of here?
[Potemkin looks down past the clouds; he sees Johnny's ship fly on by]
Potemkin: Hmm… if I jump, there's a good chance I'll miss the ship completely, and land in an impenetrable forest, where calm, peace and quiet reign supreme. Meh. I'll take my chances. Either ship or forest will do.
--
[On the Mayship deck]
Johnny: It's a beautiful day, isn't it my boy?
Nazareth: Of course.
Johnny: Oops! I should have realized something!
[Only the wind blows past for a good few seconds]
Nazareth [anime sweat drop]: … Do you?
Johnny: Never mind.
[Suddenly, a crash!]
April: JOHNNY! THE CABINS BEEN BREACHED!
Johnny: By what!?
April: Potemkin.
Johnny [sighs]: He could have just called…Let's see what he wants.
Nazareth: Odd… [To himself] Oh right. This is the past. He isn't the president of Zepp yet.
Johnny: DAMN YOU BOY! COME ON!
Nazareth: I'm coming!
[Meanwhile, near the kitchen of the Mayship]
Bridget [whistling 'Awe of She']: Man, that's a catchy tune. [Continues to whistle it; explosion emanate] WHAT THE!? [Peaks in; he sees that the kitchen is in a total and complete mess, with charred surfaces, and Dizzy covered in, well, stuff; he runs up to her] Dizzy! Are you okay?
Dizzy: Yes, I'm fine. I just don't know what happened. [Looks around] Oh no! Dinner is ruined! The place is a mess! And I almost killed May in the process…
May [cartoon scenario where cutlery and the like have tied the young pirate girl to the wall]: BLAST!
Dizzy: I JUST CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT! [Runs off crying; unintentionally bolts past Nazareth]
Nazareth: Okaa-san?
Bridget [to himself]: What should I do?
[Suddenly, his good self (an innocent man angel) and his bad self (a sexy man devil) appear on his shoulders]
Angel: You should go cheer her up.
Devil: Nah! You should take advantage of her sadness, and give her the gift that can bring happiness to anyone: Sex! You know the horizontal polka and what not?
[The angel gets pissed off; he summons a yo-yo, and it protrudes a gun; it shoots the devil, killing him]
Bridget [wide-eyed]: DID YOU JUST--
Angel [sticks the yo-yo gun to Bridget's head]: NOW CHEER DIZZY UP! Or do you want to end up like your bad side?
Bridget [scared]: Okay! I'll go. I don't want any trouble. [Walks past Nazareth, not noticing him]
Angel [happy]: That's better. [Vanishes]
Nazareth: Otou-san?
--
[In a happy little neighborhood]
Justice [evil]: Yes… it's mine… THE WORLD IS ALL MINE! MWAHAHAHAHA!
Jimmy McDungery [Hey look! It's Jimmy from chap.3 of my Halloween Specials]: Hi Mr. Justice!
Justice [scared]: WAH!! [Back to normal] Dammit Jimmy, stop doing that!
Jimmy: Did you get a package of 'The World' too?
Justice: I certainly did! I heard that this game was all the rage in the 21st century! The only MMORPG that kicked some major ass!
Jimmy: I'm surprised they brought it back for us! I heard over 20,000 people already signed on. I got my copy too!
Justice: I'm gonna sign up when I get on! See you there pal! [Starts floating off]
Jimmy: Wait! [Justice trips comically] What are you gonna be?
Justice: Hmm… I never thought of that… I think I'll be the Gear Messiah class! MWAHAHAHAHA! [The little boy looks at him strangely] … Twin Blade.
--
[With Millia and Venom; they search the town thoroughly for traces of Eddie]
Millia: He has got to be around here somewhere.
Venom: Indeed. Once we do get him, our hearts can finally be at peace, and we can buy that beach-side mansion we always talked about.
Millia: Indeed, along with our 2.3 children.
Venom: Hahaha, average.
[Eddie is now jogging on a treadmill in a gym]
Eddie [listening to an inspirational cassette]: I must… I must… I must increase my bust. Wait a minute! This is a WOMAN'S CASSETTE! [Starts to snap] I DESPISE WOMEN!!!
[And now he starts to Shadow Drill the entire area]
Venom: I guess Eddie's an anti-feminist.
Millia: Well, I knew that! He doesn't treat any woman with respect, [sultry] unlike you Venom. You give me all the respect I deserve.
Venom: I love it when you talk dirty to me.
[And… Millia and Venom start to go at it]
Eddie: AMORPHOUS! [Destroys the place; looks at where Millia and Venom are 'doing it fresh'] Whoa. That's hot! And I think I'm bi, too!
--
[Sol continues to wonder around the movie world; so far, he has had no need to summon his superhero powers. Then again, if you were a powerful human Gear, you probably wouldn't need cool digital effects either to blow away your enemies.]
Sol [now inside a metal fortress of sorts]: Damn straight. Now, where is this 'Evil Ambassador Jim'? What a stupid name!
Dark voice: You're going down, punk!
[The shadows lift up. It is one of the Evil Ambassador's minions: The Shadowlaw Lord, M. Bison!]
Sol: M. BISON!? F***, you're not cool! You're just a tired-out old bogey that no one loves to hate anymore!
M. Bison: Silence! I WILL-- [gets Tyrant Raved by Sol] OH GOD!!
Sol: Die! Die! You f***er, die!
[With some Gun Flames, Bandit Revolvers, Volcanic Vipers, a couple of Grand Vipers, and topping it off with a flashy Tyrant Rave, M. Bison is no more]
M. Bison: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [disintegrates]
Sol: Uh-oh. I think by killing that ass-backward lame-o, this place is going to self-destruct. NOW I would like some superpowers!
Silvia Voice: You had your chance!
Joe Voice: Aw, c'mon Sil, give the idiot a chance!
Sol [vein in forehead]: WHAT!?
[In an instant, time is slowed down; Here we see Viewtiful Joe running in at normal speed, and grabs Sol by the hand; he now activates SPEED UP, where everything around them starts to move very fast]
Sol [very fast]: HOLY CRAP!
--
[The deck of the Mayship; the stars are of the perfect setting in the sky; Dizzy is looking straight off, gazing at the stars that seem to be almost reachable. Necro and Undine have detached themselves from Dizzy in order to have some drinking games with Johnny and Potemkin; Bridget comes up and sees if she's okay]
Bridget: Are you okay, Dizzy?
Dizzy [sad]: I don't know what's wrong with me.
Bridget [throws his arm around Dizzy's shoulder]: Do not worry yourself, Dizzy. You could just be having a bad day.
Dizzy: People can have bad days?
Bridget: Of course. It happens all the time for people. I even have bad days myself, where I can't do anything with my yo-yos, and I almost always lift my dress up when trying to pull something off with my yo-yo. It actually took a lot of guts to say that.
Dizzy [slight giggling]: Well, thank you for cheering me up, Bridget.
Bridget: Of course, Dizzy. Anything for you.
[Dizzy starts to blush deeply]
Dizzy: Um, Bridget, I have to tell you something important.
Bridget: What is it, Dizzy?
Dizzy: I... I really like you.
Bridget [blushing; he couldn't believe that Dizzy just confessed her feelings]: Dizzy... [holds her in his arms] I feel that way towards you too.
[Both blushing, they embrace each other, sharing their first kiss; meanwhile...]
Nazareth [watching from a distance; shining-eye style]: Wow! My parents' first kiss! This is so kawaii!
Necro [appearing from his back (note: This is his Necro, not Dizzy's Necro)]: She was my precious one.
May [yelling loud enough so that even the two kissing could hear her]: HEY NAZARETH! COME DOWN HERE ALREADY! POTEMKIN WANTS TO SHOW YOU HIS SKETCHES!
Nazareth: MAY! You [slides down the ladder] really ruin moments, don't you!?
Johnny [drunk]: HIT HER!
--
[In the digital game environment, called 'The World', Jimmy is logging on for the first time, seeing the splendor that is the Delta Server Root Town Mac Anu. He chose to make himself a Heavy Blade, which made him look like a cross between a knight and a samurai, already carrying a broadsword]
Jimmy [the name of his character as well; through a voice alter, he sounds a 15-year old]: I wonder where Mr. Justice could be? [walks up to this one other Heavy Blade female] Excuse me, mam, but do you know where if you saw anyone by the name of Justice around here?
Woman: Sure kid. That's player is yelling on the bridge over there, something about how he is the Gear Messiah.
Jimmy: Knew it.
[He walks over to a bishonen-ish Twin Blade, with the exact hair as Justice]
Justice: I WILL NOW RAVAGE THIS DIGITAL WORLD! AND THERE'S NOT A THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!
Jimmy: Mr. Justice!
Justice [scared; falls into the river]: AAAAAAAA--[splash; gets out of the water] Dammit Jimmy! I thought I told you to stop doing that!
Jimmy: You're funny!
[Two players are talking with each other as they walk past little Jimmy and Justice]
Player 1: Hey, did you hear?
Borzoi: Yeah, I heard that something strange is happening in 'The World'. Something called... P4.
Justice: P4?
--
Will Sol ever escape movie world?
Sol: I BETTER!!
Will Leopaldon finally be near someone in order to cause destruction?
Slayer [wearing nothing but an apron, in the garden; looking as something is headed his way]: Oh dear...
Will Millia and Venom stop kissing each other enough to kill Eddie?
Eddie: Don't give them ideas! [gets bashed in the face by a cue ball]
Will anyone find out about Nazareth and his background?
D's Necro: What the? I don't remember seeing you this bitchy, Undine!
D's Undine: Um, I'm right here, Necro!
N's Undine: Yeah. Now you die, bastard!
N's Necro: I'm confused...
And will little Jimmy McDungery and Justice stop the threat of 'P4' in 'The World'?
Justice: IT'S A THREAT!? Uh-oh...
Tune in, next time!