Disclaimer: I am a starving college student - I own nothing.
Chapter 3: On Beasts and Blunders
Severus sat in his chambers, sipping his strong, black tea. Something told him, however, that if he was going to get through this lesson with Potter he would need something a bit stronger than tea. Coffee, perhaps, or firewhisky…
Severus sighed. The fact that he woke up at 6:00 in the morning, each morning, without fail, did not make him a morning person per se. After all, he didn't like mornings one bit. For that matter, he didn't particularly like afternoons or evenings either. Severus much preferred the nighttime. After all, there were far fewer people around to annoy him in the dead of night. Well, that had been true until the second rising of the Dark Lord in any case.
And his best hope for regaining the freedom of his nights rested in the hands of an Insufferable Gryffindor who, as it happened, was the second most annoying creature he was likely to have the misfortune of meeting at all hours of the night.
That and the alternative of a prolonged traitor's death, likely via the means of a potion he himself created for the purposes of torture along with a couple of Dark curses tossed into the mix for fun, were the two routes through which Severus's nights could once again become his own. Severus smirked wryly. He was not quite sure which alternative he would prefer, a painful death or putting up with yet another bratty Potter. Snape sneered at the thought.
Severus placed his cup back on its saucer as he rose to leave his chambers, black cloak falling neatly around his rather small frame. There was no use postponing the inevitable.
Snape replaced the wards on the door to his chambers after closing it behind him. As he strode purposefully down the corridor, Severus spotted Hagrid walking in his direction. Snape duly increased the pace and purposefulness of his stride. This precaution proved to be for naught, however, as Hagrid intercepted him anyway, no doubt in order to engage him in some purposeless chatter. Didn't Hagrid realize that this defeated the purpose of Severus's Purposeful Stride?
"Severus," boomed Hagrid, as he struggled to keep the lid on a box that jerked violently in his hands. "How ya doing?"
"What is it Hagrid?" Severus sighed in exasperation. This morning was definitely not going the way Severus had planned. Then again, Snape mused, I would sooner feed my firstborn child to whatever Hagrid has in that box than voluntarily plan a morning that included Hagrid and a Potter.
"Well, you see..." Hagrid started as he struggled to replace the lid that had just been forced open by a green, slimy looking toeless foot. "I haven't quite decided on a name for them yet..."
Wonderful, thought Snape, the new school year hasn't even started and the Overlarge Oaf has already begun breeding new species illegally. One would think that after almost losing his job last year he'd be more careful, but perhaps hope remains... Severus cheered considerably at the prospect of Hagrid getting sacked.
"My enquiry was in regard to what exactly it is you desire from me, Hagrid, not your new... specimen." Snape said aloud.
"Oh, right, sorry there. I was just wonderin' if you could send Harry down to me hut after your lesson. I just spoke to Dumbledore and he said ya'd be keepin' him all mornin'. These creatures here are part snake, see, and I was wonderin' if Harry could help me with 'em. Might even be able to talk to 'em and all. Although they might still be a bit young to talk.." Hagrid frowned, although his expression quickly became rapturous as he glanced down at the box he was holding.
Snape deepened his sneer as he regarded Hagrid. He was truly a pathetic excuse for a part-human.
"It would be my pleasure," Snape obliged, a maliciously amused smirk on his face.
Hagrid regarded Snape suspiciously, but did not voice any concern at the Potions Master's sudden and supposed beneficence.
"Right, well, thanks then." Hagrid said, somewhat uncertainly, as he turned to continue on his way. Snape nodded curtly at Hagrid before following suit.
Severus wore a genuine smile as he reached his classroom. Oh, this would be fun. Snape smirked. Hagrid had just improved his day immensely. Now he would get to see the Potter brat's expression when he found out that he'd been invited to play with Hagrid and his pets.
***
Snape sat at his desk, wand in hand, waiting for Potter to arrive. He had decided to conduct these lessons in his classroom rather than his office. After all, he really didn't want to see Potter in his office again.
The door opened just as the clock struck the hour. Didn't the brat even know that it was considered polite to knock before entering a room?
"Stand over there, Potter," Snape said by way of a greeting as he pointed to the large area in the front of the classroom which had been cleared of the tables normally present for use in potions making.
Potter made his way over to the designated space wordlessly and warily.
Snape rose from his seat and stood in front of his desk, leaning back against it slightly.
"Take out your wand. You are to defend yourself as you can."
As Potter reached for his wand, Snape began speaking in a casual tone. "I encountered Hagrid on my way down here this morning. He requires you assistance with some new creatures he has... obtained. You are to go down to his hut after the lesson."
Snape paused for a moment to savor the look of fear and horror that formed on the brat's face as the realization of what was likely to be in store for him that afternoon sunk in.
"Legilimens," Snape said, his wand pointed at Potter.
Snape was certainly not going to wait for Potter to regain his composure and properly clear his mind, assuming he was capable of such a simple task. Quite aside from the fact that Snape rather enjoyed tormenting the boy, Potter was not likely to receive advance warning nor would he necessarily be in comfortable surroundings when a situation requiring Occlumency presented itself.
The boy was naturally unable to respond in time, and snatches of Potter's childhood flooded Snape's mind. Snape quickly became bored.
Snape saw a small child in a classroom, quivering as an irate teacher in a blue wig glared down at him. Snape had to admit that her glare wasn't half bad, although he truly did wonder about these Muggles. How could they let someone with such an absurd hair color teach a class?
A few moments later Snape saw Harry's uncle, Vernon he remembered his name to be, spreading jam on a newspaper.
Get a hold of yourself, Snape mentally scolded himself. He had felt the desire to chuckle at the Muggle's absurd behavior.. Thankfully, Severus's long experience as a spy helped to ensure that his face betrayed nothing of his humor.
Snape lifted his wand, breaking the spell. "That was pathetic, Potter."
Potter merely glared at him. And his glare had improved as well. Perhaps he had taken lessons from the blue-haired woman over the summer.
"Again. Legilimens." Snape once again entered the boy's mind and triviality upon frivolity assaulted Snape's senses.
Oh but what's this, Snape wondered. He attempted to draw the memory out. Granger stirring a cauldron over a toilet. Potter gulping down a khaki colored glutinous substance. Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle in the Slytherin dungeons...
"POTTER!"
Potter looked up, his face pale, as Snape lifted the spell.
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN WERE YOU DOING IN GOYLE'S BODY?"
The boy gulped audibly.
After a few moments of silence from the brat, Snape lost his patience.
"WELL?! I WANT TO HEAR AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS!" Snape spat, looming over the boy as he shouted.
"Er... I'm not quite sure to what you are referring exactly," Potter circumvented.
Having regained his self-control, Snape lowered his voice to a threatening hiss. "Unless you have impersonated Mr. Goyle on more than one occasion," Snape raised a questioning eyebrow at this, "then I suspect you know precisely to what I am referring, and I suggest you explain yourself immediately," Snape smiled maliciously at this, "or I will be forced to use Veritasserum to discover the truth."
Potter, apparently, saw nothing else for it. As he seemed to be composed himself and then responded.
"In my second year, I took Polyjuice Potion to transform myself into Goyle and question Malfoy about his knowledge of the identity of the heir of Slytherin." Potter seemed to be steeling himself for a nasty blow as he finished this statement.
Nasty blow indeed, Snape thought to himself. He would be speaking to the headmaster regarding this matter. This was certainly an offense worthy of expulsion.
"And what did you discover in your conversation with young Mr. Malfoy, Potter?" Snape enquired, his voice even.
"That he didn't know who the heir of Slythering was," Potter answered.
"And so you stole the necessary ingredients to brew an illegal potion so you could impersonate another student in order to enter a common room which you had no right to be in and violated the privacy of a third student in an attempt to extract information from him under false pretenses, only to find out that you were mistaken in your initial assumptions, is that correct, Potter?"
"Yes, sir"
"Get out, Potter."