It was a grueling session that lasted 4 hours and the three who finally walked out of the judge's chambers were exhausted. Cameron looked down at Alexis who seemed to be numb from the experience. She was silent and stared straight ahead seemingly mindless of the activity surrounding her. Something was definitely wrong with Alexis.
Alexis knew from the start, given the judges first comments, that no part of her life would be safe from his prying eyes.
"Miss Davis, from the mass of files that I have studied regarding the activities of all concerned over the past year, you are going to have a hard time proving to me that the child in question should indeed be placed with you rather than left in the Quartermaine home or placed in a foster home. I think I have a good idea of how custody of the child was laundered through to Edward Quartermaine. And that order will be rescinded by the end of the day tomorrow at which time I will decide where the child will be placed. So, this is the way we are going to proceed this afternoon. Start from the beginning and tell me as briefly and honestly as you can the what, why and where of how you managed to end up in this situation."
At his request, Alexis began to recreate her life of the past two years. For two hours she opened all the little compartments of mind and heart freely giving what no one else had been privy to as she fought every day to stay in control of her life and her daughter's. She spoke of her love for her sister and the loss that crippled her emotionally for a while. She laid out a lifetime of loss and the lessons learned from trusting the wrong people. She talked of bad choices and relationships that fell by the wayside. Of finding herself alone with a child on the way and how every want, need or desire was abandoned until there was nothing left except bringing that life safely into the world. She talked of people who hated so much that nothing in life was sacred. When it could no longer be put off, she detailed a late night excursion to warn off a man who represented everything she had ever lost and seemed to be targeting a baby who lay fighting for her life. Detail by detail she graphed out the events of that night and the slow fall that took a life which in turn began her own slow fall into a private hell. As she began the tale of a desperate woman's need to hold on to and protect a fragile child… her head bowed and her voice took on a tone of regret and repentance. Regret for bad choices and repentance for taking advantage of a judicial system that she had depended on and built her life around.
Her contrition was not lost on the judge and that alone made more of an impression than anything verbally related so far. Although her regret was genuine, Alexis knew from experience, that if a judge or jury could not hear or see evidence of regret for mistakes made, no matter how many facts and visual aides were presented; one would stand a better chance of winning a custody case with the flip of a coin.
Finally completing her recitation of the events as she knew them she took a deep breath, sat back and waited. Nothing else was left to reveal. Her hearts hunger, her souls regret, her minds reasoning… she gave it all for the sake of her daughter. She wasn't prepared for the questions that followed.
"All right Miss Davis, now that we have the facts, let's see if we can get a little closer to a few truths that you seem to have left out. First, since I already have a pretty good idea of the answer, I doubt you will surprise me given your past associations. So, without hedging, who is the child's natural father?"
Cameron quickly interrupted before Alexis could speak.
"Your honor, Miss Davis has valid reasons for wanting to keep the paternity of her daughter confidential. Is it really necessary that it be an issue at this moment?"
Cold disapproving eyes met his own.
"Dr. Lewis, you might find it interesting that I reluctantly agreed to your presence in my chambers this afternoon. In fact, the only reason you're here is because Dr. Baldwin feels that your presence will lend considerable support to Miss Davis as I pick apart her life. So if you don't mind, I'll let you know if and when I need to hear from you."
Neither the judge nor Gail missed Alexis reaching out and taking hold of Cameron's hand. But, as Gail was sitting behind them it was left to the judge to observe just how much Alexis cared for Cameron. Her eyes told a story the judge had not witnessed first hand in a long time. His eyes softened a little as he gave Alexis his full attention.
"If you would, Miss Davis; please..."
"Your honor, if you do suspect who the father is, then I'm sure you can understand my hesitation in voicing it publicly. May I request that my answer be accepted off the record and that it not leave the confines of this room?"
"I am asking for my own purposes, Miss Davis. If no surprises pop up and everything falls as I think it will, all records regarding this session will be sealed permanently."
"Thank you, your honor. My… um… my daughter's biological father is Michael Corinthos, Jr."
"Thank you for being honest with me, Miss Davis. You've satisfied my hunch. Now, even though we both understand his line of work, I want you to explain to me why you felt the need to keep your child a secret from him."
It irritated Alexis that with everything she had already given, she was being asked to bring Sonny's world into the conversation. She understood why; it just irritated her to have to focus her thoughts on a man whose very image still had the ability to cause her pain.
"If you understand his line of work, then I would assume you also understand my need to keep my child safe from his world."
"Watch your tone, Miss Davis. I'm merely trying to understand why a woman who knew and understood such a man would all of a sudden find herself carrying his child. And also, why would you ask me to grant custody of this child to you when your past choices would seem to indicate a lack of intelligence and common sense. Especially in regard to the people you allow in your life, and those you might allow into the child's life in the future should I grant you custody. How do I know that this child won't end up a victim of another war on the docks or another needless casualty just as your sister did?"
Alexis felt Cameron begin to rise to her defense again and just as he opened his mouth to defend her she pulled him back down.
"Stop, Cameron. He has ever right to question my actions. Thank you for trying to protect me, but he has made quite a valid point and I have to answer it… if not for him, then for myself."
She waited for Cameron to settle back down then looked directly into Judge Marks' eyes.
"You're right, I have made some very poor choices in my life. I chose to disregard what I knew of a dangerous man and put myself into a very vulnerable position. I will regret my association with that man for the rest of my life. The only positive outcome of that relationship was my daughter. Once I learned of her existence I began to measure every aspect of my life against what it would mean to my child. I could not jeopardize her life by continuing to associate with him."
"What can you offer this child that could not be provided elsewhere?"
Alexis shifted uncomfortably in her seat but calmed when she felt Cameron reach for her. Looking into his eyes she heard his quiet whisper.
"Just tell him like you would tell me. Just talk to him, Alexis. Tell him a story."
She smiled gratefully then turned back to the judge and taking a deep breath, spoke her heart.
"It's been a long time since I've allowed myself to admit that maybe my way isn't always the best way and that there are people in this world who are not out solely to line their own pockets, so to speak. I'm learning that every once in a while it's best to seek the counsel of others rather than barreling through a situation without benefit of an objective sometimes wiser opinion. Those are principles I would like my daughter to learn. I want my daughter to be free to voice her opinion whether it lends itself to the more popular side of an issue or not. I would like for her grow up free of fear, free of domineering well-meaning people who see the world through a narrow tunnel vision. If she were allowed to grow up knowing that there were no limitations regarding the choices of her life, then there's no telling how far she could go… or what she could eventually accomplish. I don't want her tied down, or wrapped up in the frills of someone else's idea of who and what she should be. There is much that she will learn from the adults in her life, but there is also much that I can learn from her as she grows into a woman. I want that opportunity. I want the chance to learn from her… from her experiences. I want to watch her take her first steps into a world that's waiting for someone to stand up and make a difference. It's her life, her future we are discussing. It has never been about the rights of the adults around her; Kristina deserves the chance to be free enough to learn, experience and yes, to fail as well. It is the failures in our life that often teach us the most. I'm learning that lesson a little too late in life. My daughter already possesses a profound strength of will… it should not be stifled, but rather guarded and guided; trained to serve rather than be served."
When she finished she looked down and found her hands slightly shaking. She couldn't remember a time when she had been so honest in her feelings… except for when… Shaking his offensive image from her mind she looked back up as the judge began talking to her.
"That's fine, Miss Davis. Considering what I've heard of your activities lately, I was beginning to wonder where the attorney I grew to admire and welcome into my courtroom escaped to. I imagined that when I swapped to family court from criminal justice I would find myself missing your refreshing delightful use of our colorful language. What I have to decide now is whether you're spinning a yarn for me, or whether you actually do believe and intend to act on all that you've just stated should you be allowed to regain custody of your child. You crossed a line Miss Davis and expertly manipulated the very system you swore to uphold. And you've always been quite impressive with closing arguments; very impressive."
Judge Marks leaned back in his chair and studied her intently.
"I wonder if you're really good enough to have snowed me, Miss Davis? I have twenty-four hours to decide. At this point, I have no idea how I am going to decide, but I will tell you that a lot of my decision is going to be based on how you reacted to different situations over the past year. So for now, you are playing a waiting game. You're waiting on me. How do you feel about that, Miss Davis?"
Alexis returned his intense stare and leaned forward slightly giving her words a little more emphasis.
"The waiting I can handle; and forgive me if I sound rude or disrespectful, but I'm having a bit of a problem with your reference to any of this being a game, Your Honor."
"Quite right, Miss Davis. You're quite right. You have my sincere apology for my lack of decorum. As you can see I am not as eloquent with our language as you are. Thank you for reminding me that even my words have consequences and should be weighed before allowing them to be heard. In my line of work I too often tend to forget that fact. You'll hear from me by late tomorrow."
"Thank you, Judge Marks. We'll be waiting."
"We, Miss Davis?"
"Yes; Dr. Lewis, Dr. Baldwin and myself. That is another one of those lessons I'm trying to learn. I'm not alone. I have people who care about what happens to both my daughter and myself."
Judge Marks shifted his focus to Cameron.
"…and in some cases seem to be just as willing to abuse the law as yourself, Miss Davis. Dr. Lewis, if I may. What possessed you to defy the rules of your profession to support Miss Davis in her illegal activities?"
Cameron sat back and crossed his legs, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. He expected to be questioned… wanted to be. Now he had his chance to defend her to someone who actually seemed to care about the outcome of the case.
"In the beginning, I fought for the rights of my patient. A patient I believed was mentally impaired. When the truth of what really happened was finally revealed to me, I found myself having to answer the same questions you are now faced with. Was it self-defense, did she act within the best interests of the child, would she fight for the rights of that child no matter the circumstance, was she capable of raising a child on her own without benefit of aide from outside sources? The more time I spent with her the more I believed in her abilities as a professional, an individual and as a mother… so I did what needed to be done to protect her. When it came right down to it though, as a physician I was of no help to Miss Davis. So I tendered my resignation as her psychiatrist in favor of being her friend and lending whatever support I could. Alexis was being forced to deal with a barrage of tragic circumstances without benefit of a single friend or family member to support her. Most women… excuse me… most people, if forced into the same situation, would have succumbed a long time ago under the pressure or simply abducted the child and run. But, she stayed and she has fought day after day after day to bring about the best possible result for her child. In my opinion, the child would suffer greatly if denied the opportunity of growing up under the care and guidance of Alexis."
"It would seem that your interest in Miss Davis is more than that of just a friend, Dr Lewis?"
Cameron looked over at Alexis who refused to look up from her intense interest in the rings she was repeatedly winding around her finger. He reached over and lay his hand over hers lacing their fingers together to still her nervous fidgeting. She quickly wrapped her fingers around his and squeezed closing her eyes a moment then re-opened them to stare at their joined hands. She took a deep calming breath, but still refused to look at him. He knew she was holding on by sheer willpower now.
"You're absolutely right, Judge Marks. I did happen to fall in love with her. But, that fact does not hinder my ability to offer a sound honest opinion of this case. It only adds another facet to the many reasons I believe Alexis should be allowed to regain full custody of her child. I can't imagine myself falling in love with a woman who was not stable or capable of providing a loving nurturing home for a child. And just to put another spin on all of this for Your Honor to ponder when making your decision. Five years ago my son ran away from home after watching his brother die senselessly. Alexis took him in and cared for him without knowing the type of background he came from. In his own words to me just last night, he credits her for giving him a reason to turn his life around and be the man he is today. My son trusts her without reservation and so do I. I only wish she had been around when my other son needed someone to talk to. She loves my boy and believes in me enough to help us find our way back to a relationship that I failed. Not only is my son learning how to love and be loved at her knee, but so am I."
"Thank you for your candid response, Dr. Lewis. Now, as I think I have everything I need, I will adjourn this meeting and get to the task of deciding what is to become of little Kristina. By the way Miss Davis, would you happen to have a recent picture of the child? I think I would like very much like to see whose fate I am being forced to decide."
**************
Gail stood with them a moment in the corridor, before going back to her office. She looked long and hard at Alexis who stood motionless beside her then gave her attention to Cameron. She stepped closer and wrapped her arm around Alexis' waist and pulled her into a soft gentle hug then released her and turned to Cameron.
"Take her home, Cameron and stay with her. As hard as it has been for her since the birth of her child, the hours between now and the call tomorrow will be the most difficult and longest she has yet to endure. There is nothing she can do now and that will be the hardest thing for her to deal with. Make her eat something and try to get her to rest as much as possible."
Putting his arm around Alexis, he turned with her toward the elevator and gently urged her forward.
"Come on, Angel. Let's get you home. We'll wait this thing out together."