Disclaimer: I am a starving college student - I own nothing.
Chapter 12: Splashing Serpedes and Sneaky Surprises
Harry Potter knocked on Hagrid's door. Harry was not in a good mood. He was not amused by Snape's prank. Who would have bloody well thought that the dour potions professor even had a sense of humor?
"Good to see yeh, Harry," said Hagrid, his beard twitching at the sight of Harry.
"Not a word, Hagrid," said Harry testily.
"I didn't say anythin,' " said Hagrid, a smile still threatening to form on his face.
Harry merely glared.
"Come over here, Harry, I've got summat for yeh."
Harry raised an eyebrow and followed his large friend.
Hagrid went over to the cage housing the Serpedes, and retrieved a small wooden box that was resting beside it.
"Here yeh go, Harry, happy birthday!" said Hagrid.
Harry accepted the box uncertainly. It had holes in it, and Harry had a sneaking suspicion that he knew what was in the box. Great, thought Harry, just what I need. This will go over wonderfully in Gryffindor.
"I thought you could raise one of your very own," said Hagrid proudly.
"Thanks, Hagrid," said Harry hesitantly. Could be worse, though Harry dryly, Snape could have died my hair green. Then I'd be a right proper Slytherin. Harry sneered.
* * * * *
After having tea and rock cakes with Hagrid, Harry found himself crossing the Hogwarts grounds as he headed back to the castle for his potions lesson.
Harry heard a soft rustling behind him, and before he could register anything else, a soft breeze hit him and a happy numbness enveloped his mind.
Leave the grounds, Harry, said a voice in Harry's head.
Harry was only too happy to comply. He began walking toward the Hogwarts gates. It would be good to get out for a while.
No, thought Harry, I promised I wouldn't do this again…
With great mental effort, Harry turned around. "I don't think I will, thank you," Harry told Nymphadora Tonks. Tonks beamed.
"Good for you, Harry," said Tonks. "Lupin told me you could throw off the Imperius Curse, very impressive, especially when you didn't see it coming."
Harry briefly wondered where Dobby was: the elf had woken Harry up that morning by bouncing on his bed until Harry fell out of it. Harry motioned toward the castle, and he and Tonks started for the castle doors.
"I thought we weren't going to start training 'til this evening?" said Harry.
"We're not. But Lupin had business to discuss with Dumbledore, so I thought I'd test your reflexes."
Harry frowned. That was all well and good, but the Imperius Curse? "Why with an unforgivable though? Aren't you worried about being found out? Crouch placed us all under it, but he was a Death Eater…"
Tonks gave him a questioning look. "Haven't you been reading the Daily Prophet, Harry?" asked Tonks.
"No," said Harry, "I stopped reading that last year."
"It might be a good idea to start reading the paper again, Harry, rag though it may be." Here Tonks wrinkled her nose. "Fudge has given the Aurors permission to use Unforgivables again. I guess he's trying to make up for lost time - keep public opinion from turning against him by cracking down harder than ever."
Harry started at that. "You're kidding me! He can't really… But that's just ridiculous… What is that idiot thinking…?" Harry inarticulated.*
Tonks laughed. "Yup. That was pretty much how we all reacted as well." Harry knew Tonks meant the Order when she said 'we.'
"What's in the box?" Tonks asked, changing the subject away from such unpleasant topics as the current Minister of Magic.
"You don't want to know," said Harry.
"Does it have anything to do with your blue hair?" asked Tonks, grinning. "It's a good color on you."
Harry was peeved. "No. That was a present from Snape."
"And here I always thought Snape wouldn't be able to recognize a joke if it hit him square in his nose," Tonks laughed.
Harry smiled wryly. "Neither would I have, but apparently he's learned."
"Happy birthday, Harry. I've gotta go catch up to Lupin. I'll see you later." Tonks waved goodbye as they reached the castle.
* * * * *
Harry approached his tormentor's classroom slightly less upset about his hair color. He was going to be polite to Snape if it killed him, which, Harry reflected, it most probably would. If nothing else, it would confuse the man, and that would surely provide some entertainment.
But being polite didn't mean that Harry couldn't have any fun…
"Hey girl," Harry hissed as he opened the box Hagrid had given him, amusement shining in his eyes.
"Sleepy…" hissed the baby Serpede in response. Harry stroked the little thing lovingly, she had spoken her first word! Last time Harry had seen the creatures, they couldn't speak yet. Harry cooed at the adorable little thing. Merlin, I'm becoming as bad as Hagrid! Harry thought in a panic.
"What, pray tell, are you doing, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked in his slow, silky, sneering voice.
Shit, thought Harry, how the hell does he do that?
"Nothing, sir," replied Harry.
"Indeed." Snape was not convinced that Harry was not currently plotting the destruction of the universe. Well, of the dungeons, at the least.
Snape smirked at Potter's discomfiture.
"Enter, Potter, unless you intend on blocking my doorway for the rest of the day."
Bastard, Harry thought as he entered the classroom.
Snape glared, and Harry quickly cleared his mind. Harry knew that Legilimency did not allow Snape to read his mind per se. "You have no subtlety, Potter," Harry mentally mimicked his potions professor. But Harry was quite sure that Snape could at least gather the sentiment behind his thoughts.
"The animal stays outside," said Snape.
"But she's just a baby," whined Harry.
Harry could have sworn Snape looked amused by that. Nah, thought Harry, couldn't be. I better book myself a bed in St. Mungo's.
"Fine," said Snape offhandedly, "but it stays in its box. I don't want it contaminating anything."
Maybe I don't need to be committed, thought Harry, shocked that his professor would be so… civil.
"Combined with your… skill at potions making, who knows what kind of havoc that creature could wreak if it were to get out," Snape sneered.
Ah, thought Harry, who was about to begin wondering about his professor's sanity, there's the potions master we all know and…know.
"Do you know, Potter," said Snape as Harry set up his workstation, carefully placing the wooden box containing the Serpede at the opposite end of the table, "why I threatened to administer your potion the last time you were here?" asked Snape.
Because you're a Sadistic Bastard, thought Harry.
Snape raised an eyebrow.
"To test the effectiveness of my potion?" ventured Harry.
"Try again, Potter. Did you bother to read the comments I wrote on your work?" Snape seemed exasperated.
As if anyone could read that Illegible Scrawl, thought Harry.
"I couldn't make out all of it," answered Harry diplomatically.
"Try again, Potter. What purpose would that threat serve."
Harry thought. "To see if I could neutralize it, sir?" Harry attempted to answer the Snarky Bastard's question once again.
"Very good, Potter," said Snape, his voice oddly devoid of malice. "It is often as useful to know how to ruin a potion as it is to brew it properly. This is an area in which you are quite skilled," smirked Snape.
He would have to throw in an insult.
"In order for this to be effective, however, the altered potion must look, smell, and taste as the one it is meant to be. This is not always possible. Veritaserum, for instance, cannot be so altered," Snape continued. "Today you will re-brew the potion you were previously assigned, but this time you will brew it correctly. Or at least attempt to." Snape sneered once again. Potter seemed to bring out Snape's inner sneer. "Begin."
"But, sir, I don't have the instructions," said Harry, confused as to how the professor expected him to make the potion without a reference.
"You had them last time, use your wits boy," said Snape.
Well, that's an improvement, thought Harry as he set to work, at least he thinks I have wits to use.
Harry was proud of himself, he was able to remember what he had been told the last lesson, and mentally reverse the modifications he had made to the potion then. The potion looked like it might actually turn out alright. Harry was quite looking forward to Snape's reaction to Harry having made a potion correctly. It's actually not that hard when I don't have him breathing down my neck, thought Harry as he sliced his shrivelfig, even as he wondered why Snape wasn't breathing down his neck. Surely the Greasy Git should be taking pleasure in tormenting Harry when he was presented with such a wonderful opportunity to do so as this.
Just as Harry was giving himself a theoretical clap on the back, Harry sensed movement to his right. Oh no, thought Harry as the baby Serpede jumped into his cauldron. Harry realized he must have forgotten to latch the box shut. Snape was at his side assessing the damage within seconds.
Harry made to stick his bare hand into the boiling cauldron to try to save his little friend. "Idiot boy," snarled Snape, "can't you see he's enjoying it."
"She," Harry corrected absentmindedly, and now that he looked at her, the little thing did seem to be enjoying herself, splashing around as if she didn't have a care in the world. For that mater, thought Harry, she probably doesn't.
* I'm coining this word.