A/N: I own no characters and do nothing even close to associating with the WB. If you have any thing you'd like to help incorporate into the story then please do send them as you review. I had some trouble with this chapter but I think it's coming along pretty good. Enjoy!!
P.S. thanks for everyone who reviewed and I realize there were a few errors with the fifth chapter but hopefully they've been cleared. Also thanks to all the reviewers who took the time to give me some tips. Continue because I need them!!
Peyton knew Haley had heard everything the nurse had said to her but she played it off like nothing had ever happened. Haley, unfortunately saw right past that act and was determined to find out what was going on. "Peyton, what was that all about?" Haley questioned her looking very suspicious. "Nothing, I was just talking to the nurse because she was making sure I was ok. Why?" "Oh really?" Haley continued to question for a while until Peyton gave in. "Ok, ok, Haley do you want the truth?" "No, Peyton, I want another lie" Haley replied sarcastically. "Ok, then you might wanna sit down." Haley heard the seriousness in her voice so she took the order and sat next to Peyton in the waiting room. "You remember how I was talking about last night with Luke?" Haley nodded her head giving Peyton a yes. "Well, I didn't plan to do what we did. It's just...emotions were flowing and we got carried away and things went a lot farther than I had planned. So when I was in the office after I fainted the nurse was questioning me with all these things and it got me to thinking. I don't remember much from last night but I do know it's very possible that I might be pregnant. It's also possible that I'm not, but I really don't know. The nurses don't know either but they said it should only be like a week before I find out for sure." Haley sat speechless. She'd known from the nurse talking to Peyton that this was a possibility but she didn't know for sure. Haley didn't respond for a good ten minutes as Peyton sat with a magazine in her hand. When Haley finally spoke up she was very quiet. "So, you're saying you and Luke could be parents like nine months from now?" "Yea, pretty much. But I don't know if I can do this to Luke, Haley." "What do you mean?" "I mean...what if he gets mad at me when he wakes up or something. He has his whole life ahead of him in basketball and I just don't think I can do that ya know? I want him to go on and have a good life. I mean he doesn't need me and this kid tying him down. I want him to be happy and somehow I don't think this will make him a happy man." "So what are you saying you're going to do, Peyton?" "I'm saying I'm thinking of leaving. I don't want to but I can't stay. Haley I need to leave because I just can't do that to him or any of you. I have a friend that's about an hour away and I can go stay with her. I have to do this. You can't stop me. I will be in touch though, Haley. But you have to promise me something." "What...can I do?" "You cannot tell Luke or Brooke or Nathan. Haley, you have to promise me. I don't want anyone to know. Promise me this." "Ok, I don't want to do this. Just so you understand that. You don't have to leave. Just stay, I mean just tell Luke the baby is someone else's." "Haley, this is Lucas. Even if I said it was someone else's you know he'd try to help and be like a surrogate dad. I cannot ruin his life for him." "Peyton, I'm telling you if you are pregnant Luke will want to be part of this kid's life. He won't care if this takes a piece of his life, he will want this kid." Peyton smiled and she turned around again and stared off into space.
That night Peyton told Keith and Deb that she was staying with Luke. They argued a little bit about it but in the end she stayed. She stayed for months. Every night she was by his side on a chair. He would squeeze her hand occasionally and this only ended up getting her hopes up when it was really nothing.
4 MONTHS LATER.
Nathan was having a very hard time doing all this. He was the support for everyone and it was taking its toll on him. He was stressed out and everything was overwhelming him. He and Haley had broken up about a month ago because he had become controlling and so stressed neither one of them had the time for each other anymore. She still looked to him for comfort though and they still loved each other, but there was just no time for a relationship. Haley had become depressed but she wasn't suicidal or anything. She just wasn't herself anymore. Peyton had also found out she was definitely pregnant which made even more of a reason to leave. Haley had protested a lot over Peyton leaving. She'd told Peyton time and time again that she was all she had left. Nathan was gone and Luke was gone and Haley had tried so hard to keep Peyton there. Karen had come home and Keith was doing all he could to help her through everything. Dan and Deb were divorced and they hardly talked anymore. Luke being in the hospital was killing everyone. No one knew how to cope with it anymore.
One night while Peyton was sitting there she started to talk to Luke again. "Hey, ya know we are really pregnant. Haley said you'd wanna help with the baby but I can't do that to you Luke. This is the hardest thing I've ever done. I hope you know I'm just trying to help you. I decided to be surprised. Ya know I don't wanna know what the baby is. I figure if it's a boy I'll name it Luke or something. Maybe Alexander or something because I like that name. I don't know though I mean I don't want his name to make him sound gay or anything. Then I figure if it's a girl I was thinking about like Haley or something just for everything she's done. Maybe Elizabeth though because I think that's really cool too. I wish you would wake up so I could say good bye. I don't wanna leave you without being able to say good bye, but if I get too noticeable then I'll have to go. This is killing me, Luke." She sat there for a while just thinking about what she was going to do. "I'm so tired of this. I want to just be able to live a normal life and nobody gets it. Everyone wants me to stay but they don't understand. I'm so scared to leave and I don't know where I'm going. Last year everything was different and nothing was wrong. I had my friends last year and there was no pain in any of the decisions I made. I miss that, Luke. I just feel so alone anymore and life isn't fair. Every decision I make anymore feels like I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders and I can't control my life anymore. Maybe that's why I have to leave." She finished talking to him and she tried to relax but sleep just wasn't coming. It was around 3:30 in the morning before she started to drift off.
She'd finally fallen asleep and it was around 5:30 in the morning now when she felt her hand being squeezed. She woke up startled and looked over next to her where Luke was stirring. "Luke, can you hear me? If you can squeeze my hand again." Peyton was so excited and scared at the same time. The realization of it finally hit. If he woke up it was time for her to move on and leave. She didn't know if she was strong enough to pull this off. His eyes started to flutter and he opened them just enough to see her. "Luke, are you there?" "Yea" he replied very weakly. "Peyton is that you?" "It's me Luke. I'm here." "Wow. You're so beautiful. I haven't seen you in months it feels like." "That's because it has been. It's been 4 months since we've had a conversation." "I didn't think I could last that long" he said with a small grin "so you're gonna have our baby?" he whispered. "Yea, I guess." Peyton replied trying not to cry. "And you're leaving me? Why?" "Luke, I can't stay here. I can't do this to you. Brooke has been trying to get you to wake up but she's been with Tim a lot lately. Haley flipped out at me and Brooke a few nights after you fell and Brooke has been scared to come back. She yelled so loud I thought my ear drums were gonna pop. She was screaming at Brooke for the whole Tim thing and then she was screaming at me for you. She was like you two cannot just go off and steal boyfriends and things. Brooke got scared and only comes back once a week." Luke heard this whole thing and laughed a little, or as much as he could. "Peyton I don't want you to leave me. I want to help you." He told her this and she turned her head as tears started to fall. "Yea, well I have to. I can't ruin this for you. And I need to do this on my own. But I'll be in touch when the baby is born. I love you." He looked at her and his eyes started to fill too. "I love you too." He whispered once more before he faded off again. "Luke...Luke?" "I have to leave now," she said out loud and she kissed his forehead. She walked out the door and saw Haley walking in. "Peyton, where're you going?" "He woke up, Haley. I talked to him and I have a feeling he won't remember talking to me so I'm gonna leave now." "Oh." Haley replied looking very defeated. "I'm sorry Hales." "Yea, yea it's ok. Be careful. Keep in touch ok?" "Yea, ok. Good bye." Peyton said as they both began crying and Peyton gave Haley a hug. Haley walked off in tears and Peyton did the same. Both headed different ways.
Peyton saw Nathan on the way out and just ignored because she knew she couldn't say good bye anymore. She had always hated good byes, even as a kid. She got in her car and turned it on. She drove away from the hospital, hardly able to see because she was crying. She drove around the town once more and looked at all the places where she spent most of her life. This was by far the hardest thing she'd ever done. She got on the highway and got in touch with her friend who lived down in South Carolina, about an hour away. Her friend had no problem with her staying there. She drove on the highway for a while until a good song came on the radio. She started to listen and she felt she really related to it. She cried again thinking of Luke laying in that bed begging her to stay.
I'm not supposed to be scared of anything. But I don't know where I am. I wish that I could move
but I'm exhausted. And nobody understands how I feel. I'm trying hard to breath now.
But there's no air in my lungs. There's no one here to talk to. And the pain inside is making
me numb. Try to hold this under control. You can't help me, cause no one knows.
She reflected on the past year. Everything with Luke and Brooke. Nathan and Haley. Luke's last conscious night. The love that was between them. The many nights she'd spent in the hospital talking to him. Haley and Nathan's break up. Brooke crying when she heard the truth of her and Luke. Luke waking up floated through her mind.
Now I'm goin through changes, changes. God, I feel so frustrated lately. When I get suffocated,
save me. Now I'm goin through changes, changes. Feelin weak and weary. Walkin through
this world alone. Everything they say every word of it. Cuts me to the bone and I bleed.
I've got something to say. But now I've got nowhere to turn. It feels like I've been buried.
Underneath all the weight of the world. I try to hold this under control. They can't help me, cause no one
knows. Now I'm goin through changes, changes. God I feel so frustrated lately. When I get
suffocated save me. Now I'm goin through changes, changes. I'm blind and shakin, bound and breakin.
I hope I'll make it through all these changes. Now I'm goin through changes, changes. God I feel so
frustrated lately. When I get suffocated save me. Now I'm fallin apart, now I feel it. But I'm going through
changes, changes. God I feel so frustrated lately. And I get suffocated, I hate this. But I'm goin
through changes, changes.
At the hospital Nathan was baffled. Haley was smiling. She looked back at him and said "Lucas woke up earlier for Peyton. The doctors said he should be fully awake sometime in the next few days." He smiled back at her and she walked over to him. "So how have you been?" "Pretty good" he replied "and you?" "Not bad, but even better now. Nathan, can we talk?" "Yea, Haley. We can talk. Let's go take a walk. The two of them left the hospital and walked outside while Karen and Deb and Keith sat in the waiting room. The were all talking and discussing different things. "Deb, do you know what happened between Nathan and Haley over these four months? They were doing so good and then Lucas ended up here and they just couldn't keep it together" Karen asked Deb. "I don't know he came home one day not acting like himself. He said it wasn't worth it anyway and when I asked him what happened he ignored me." "Where's Peyton?" Keith asked. The three adults looked around and saw no sign of the teenager who'd spent night after night at the hospital and hardly ever left. They'd all become quite fond of her.
Minutes later a few doctors walked into Luke's room and Karen heard her son yelling at them. "Lucas?!" She ran towards his room and saw him screaming in the doctor's face. "Lucas, what's wrong?" "Mom. They won't let me see Peyton. Where the hell is she?" Karen walked in and sat in a chair next to his bed as Keith and Deb followed. Karen didn't know how to respond to this one. Luke looked at her and said "Mom, she said she'd be here when I woke up."
HOPE YOU ENJOYED!! REVIEW TO CONTINUE!! SORRY IT TOOK A FEW DAYS TO UPDATE!!
P.S. thanks for everyone who reviewed and I realize there were a few errors with the fifth chapter but hopefully they've been cleared. Also thanks to all the reviewers who took the time to give me some tips. Continue because I need them!!
Peyton knew Haley had heard everything the nurse had said to her but she played it off like nothing had ever happened. Haley, unfortunately saw right past that act and was determined to find out what was going on. "Peyton, what was that all about?" Haley questioned her looking very suspicious. "Nothing, I was just talking to the nurse because she was making sure I was ok. Why?" "Oh really?" Haley continued to question for a while until Peyton gave in. "Ok, ok, Haley do you want the truth?" "No, Peyton, I want another lie" Haley replied sarcastically. "Ok, then you might wanna sit down." Haley heard the seriousness in her voice so she took the order and sat next to Peyton in the waiting room. "You remember how I was talking about last night with Luke?" Haley nodded her head giving Peyton a yes. "Well, I didn't plan to do what we did. It's just...emotions were flowing and we got carried away and things went a lot farther than I had planned. So when I was in the office after I fainted the nurse was questioning me with all these things and it got me to thinking. I don't remember much from last night but I do know it's very possible that I might be pregnant. It's also possible that I'm not, but I really don't know. The nurses don't know either but they said it should only be like a week before I find out for sure." Haley sat speechless. She'd known from the nurse talking to Peyton that this was a possibility but she didn't know for sure. Haley didn't respond for a good ten minutes as Peyton sat with a magazine in her hand. When Haley finally spoke up she was very quiet. "So, you're saying you and Luke could be parents like nine months from now?" "Yea, pretty much. But I don't know if I can do this to Luke, Haley." "What do you mean?" "I mean...what if he gets mad at me when he wakes up or something. He has his whole life ahead of him in basketball and I just don't think I can do that ya know? I want him to go on and have a good life. I mean he doesn't need me and this kid tying him down. I want him to be happy and somehow I don't think this will make him a happy man." "So what are you saying you're going to do, Peyton?" "I'm saying I'm thinking of leaving. I don't want to but I can't stay. Haley I need to leave because I just can't do that to him or any of you. I have a friend that's about an hour away and I can go stay with her. I have to do this. You can't stop me. I will be in touch though, Haley. But you have to promise me something." "What...can I do?" "You cannot tell Luke or Brooke or Nathan. Haley, you have to promise me. I don't want anyone to know. Promise me this." "Ok, I don't want to do this. Just so you understand that. You don't have to leave. Just stay, I mean just tell Luke the baby is someone else's." "Haley, this is Lucas. Even if I said it was someone else's you know he'd try to help and be like a surrogate dad. I cannot ruin his life for him." "Peyton, I'm telling you if you are pregnant Luke will want to be part of this kid's life. He won't care if this takes a piece of his life, he will want this kid." Peyton smiled and she turned around again and stared off into space.
That night Peyton told Keith and Deb that she was staying with Luke. They argued a little bit about it but in the end she stayed. She stayed for months. Every night she was by his side on a chair. He would squeeze her hand occasionally and this only ended up getting her hopes up when it was really nothing.
4 MONTHS LATER.
Nathan was having a very hard time doing all this. He was the support for everyone and it was taking its toll on him. He was stressed out and everything was overwhelming him. He and Haley had broken up about a month ago because he had become controlling and so stressed neither one of them had the time for each other anymore. She still looked to him for comfort though and they still loved each other, but there was just no time for a relationship. Haley had become depressed but she wasn't suicidal or anything. She just wasn't herself anymore. Peyton had also found out she was definitely pregnant which made even more of a reason to leave. Haley had protested a lot over Peyton leaving. She'd told Peyton time and time again that she was all she had left. Nathan was gone and Luke was gone and Haley had tried so hard to keep Peyton there. Karen had come home and Keith was doing all he could to help her through everything. Dan and Deb were divorced and they hardly talked anymore. Luke being in the hospital was killing everyone. No one knew how to cope with it anymore.
One night while Peyton was sitting there she started to talk to Luke again. "Hey, ya know we are really pregnant. Haley said you'd wanna help with the baby but I can't do that to you Luke. This is the hardest thing I've ever done. I hope you know I'm just trying to help you. I decided to be surprised. Ya know I don't wanna know what the baby is. I figure if it's a boy I'll name it Luke or something. Maybe Alexander or something because I like that name. I don't know though I mean I don't want his name to make him sound gay or anything. Then I figure if it's a girl I was thinking about like Haley or something just for everything she's done. Maybe Elizabeth though because I think that's really cool too. I wish you would wake up so I could say good bye. I don't wanna leave you without being able to say good bye, but if I get too noticeable then I'll have to go. This is killing me, Luke." She sat there for a while just thinking about what she was going to do. "I'm so tired of this. I want to just be able to live a normal life and nobody gets it. Everyone wants me to stay but they don't understand. I'm so scared to leave and I don't know where I'm going. Last year everything was different and nothing was wrong. I had my friends last year and there was no pain in any of the decisions I made. I miss that, Luke. I just feel so alone anymore and life isn't fair. Every decision I make anymore feels like I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders and I can't control my life anymore. Maybe that's why I have to leave." She finished talking to him and she tried to relax but sleep just wasn't coming. It was around 3:30 in the morning before she started to drift off.
She'd finally fallen asleep and it was around 5:30 in the morning now when she felt her hand being squeezed. She woke up startled and looked over next to her where Luke was stirring. "Luke, can you hear me? If you can squeeze my hand again." Peyton was so excited and scared at the same time. The realization of it finally hit. If he woke up it was time for her to move on and leave. She didn't know if she was strong enough to pull this off. His eyes started to flutter and he opened them just enough to see her. "Luke, are you there?" "Yea" he replied very weakly. "Peyton is that you?" "It's me Luke. I'm here." "Wow. You're so beautiful. I haven't seen you in months it feels like." "That's because it has been. It's been 4 months since we've had a conversation." "I didn't think I could last that long" he said with a small grin "so you're gonna have our baby?" he whispered. "Yea, I guess." Peyton replied trying not to cry. "And you're leaving me? Why?" "Luke, I can't stay here. I can't do this to you. Brooke has been trying to get you to wake up but she's been with Tim a lot lately. Haley flipped out at me and Brooke a few nights after you fell and Brooke has been scared to come back. She yelled so loud I thought my ear drums were gonna pop. She was screaming at Brooke for the whole Tim thing and then she was screaming at me for you. She was like you two cannot just go off and steal boyfriends and things. Brooke got scared and only comes back once a week." Luke heard this whole thing and laughed a little, or as much as he could. "Peyton I don't want you to leave me. I want to help you." He told her this and she turned her head as tears started to fall. "Yea, well I have to. I can't ruin this for you. And I need to do this on my own. But I'll be in touch when the baby is born. I love you." He looked at her and his eyes started to fill too. "I love you too." He whispered once more before he faded off again. "Luke...Luke?" "I have to leave now," she said out loud and she kissed his forehead. She walked out the door and saw Haley walking in. "Peyton, where're you going?" "He woke up, Haley. I talked to him and I have a feeling he won't remember talking to me so I'm gonna leave now." "Oh." Haley replied looking very defeated. "I'm sorry Hales." "Yea, yea it's ok. Be careful. Keep in touch ok?" "Yea, ok. Good bye." Peyton said as they both began crying and Peyton gave Haley a hug. Haley walked off in tears and Peyton did the same. Both headed different ways.
Peyton saw Nathan on the way out and just ignored because she knew she couldn't say good bye anymore. She had always hated good byes, even as a kid. She got in her car and turned it on. She drove away from the hospital, hardly able to see because she was crying. She drove around the town once more and looked at all the places where she spent most of her life. This was by far the hardest thing she'd ever done. She got on the highway and got in touch with her friend who lived down in South Carolina, about an hour away. Her friend had no problem with her staying there. She drove on the highway for a while until a good song came on the radio. She started to listen and she felt she really related to it. She cried again thinking of Luke laying in that bed begging her to stay.
I'm not supposed to be scared of anything. But I don't know where I am. I wish that I could move
but I'm exhausted. And nobody understands how I feel. I'm trying hard to breath now.
But there's no air in my lungs. There's no one here to talk to. And the pain inside is making
me numb. Try to hold this under control. You can't help me, cause no one knows.
She reflected on the past year. Everything with Luke and Brooke. Nathan and Haley. Luke's last conscious night. The love that was between them. The many nights she'd spent in the hospital talking to him. Haley and Nathan's break up. Brooke crying when she heard the truth of her and Luke. Luke waking up floated through her mind.
Now I'm goin through changes, changes. God, I feel so frustrated lately. When I get suffocated,
save me. Now I'm goin through changes, changes. Feelin weak and weary. Walkin through
this world alone. Everything they say every word of it. Cuts me to the bone and I bleed.
I've got something to say. But now I've got nowhere to turn. It feels like I've been buried.
Underneath all the weight of the world. I try to hold this under control. They can't help me, cause no one
knows. Now I'm goin through changes, changes. God I feel so frustrated lately. When I get
suffocated save me. Now I'm goin through changes, changes. I'm blind and shakin, bound and breakin.
I hope I'll make it through all these changes. Now I'm goin through changes, changes. God I feel so
frustrated lately. When I get suffocated save me. Now I'm fallin apart, now I feel it. But I'm going through
changes, changes. God I feel so frustrated lately. And I get suffocated, I hate this. But I'm goin
through changes, changes.
At the hospital Nathan was baffled. Haley was smiling. She looked back at him and said "Lucas woke up earlier for Peyton. The doctors said he should be fully awake sometime in the next few days." He smiled back at her and she walked over to him. "So how have you been?" "Pretty good" he replied "and you?" "Not bad, but even better now. Nathan, can we talk?" "Yea, Haley. We can talk. Let's go take a walk. The two of them left the hospital and walked outside while Karen and Deb and Keith sat in the waiting room. The were all talking and discussing different things. "Deb, do you know what happened between Nathan and Haley over these four months? They were doing so good and then Lucas ended up here and they just couldn't keep it together" Karen asked Deb. "I don't know he came home one day not acting like himself. He said it wasn't worth it anyway and when I asked him what happened he ignored me." "Where's Peyton?" Keith asked. The three adults looked around and saw no sign of the teenager who'd spent night after night at the hospital and hardly ever left. They'd all become quite fond of her.
Minutes later a few doctors walked into Luke's room and Karen heard her son yelling at them. "Lucas?!" She ran towards his room and saw him screaming in the doctor's face. "Lucas, what's wrong?" "Mom. They won't let me see Peyton. Where the hell is she?" Karen walked in and sat in a chair next to his bed as Keith and Deb followed. Karen didn't know how to respond to this one. Luke looked at her and said "Mom, she said she'd be here when I woke up."
HOPE YOU ENJOYED!! REVIEW TO CONTINUE!! SORRY IT TOOK A FEW DAYS TO UPDATE!!