Chapter 4: Seto's Thoughts
"What have I done?" thought Seto as he entered his room. "I raped her. Defiled her. She offered to work here even thought I would have let her stay here for nothing, and I took advantage of her. I made her cry. Humiliated her. And I laughed at her. Why did I do all of this to her?"
Seto covered himself with his blankets but could not fall asleep. He imagined himself in Ryuko's situation; defenseless, rescued, trusting someone, and being raped. The last imagination he spent thinking of in detail. A man pushing him into a room, stripping themselves of their clothes, forcing himself into him, and afterwards laughing at his pain. Seto held his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.
"I can't believe I did that. How could I have been so stupid? Why couldn't I control myself? Will she ever forgive me?"
His nose tingled as he felt his eyes tingle with tears. He blinked to hold them back and put a hand to his swollen jaw, the place where Ryuko had punched him.
"I deserved this. A lot more than this. She would have every right to rip me to pieces. I destroyed her inside. I thought it was funny when I gave her those bruises, the whole time, and afterwards…
"I am so sorry Ryuko," he found himself saying aloud.
"Now that this happened," he thought again. "I feel myself beginning to like her. Not from the pleasure I received earlier, but from feeling sorry for her. And it would serve me right to fall in love, not lust, with her and she should hate me to her death. I'm sorry Ryuko. I'm really sorry."