From this chapter on, things will be hella weird. Rite, like they aren't
already strange as $***. Excuse my language, it's early. Haha, even though
it's 10:30 in the morning, that's still excrutiating early for me. Ok, on
then.
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The Fellowship Visits Fanfiction.net
Chapter 6. Tattletale
Arwen went in search of the one person, besides the one who betrayed her, that she could have talks and little 'sessions' with.
"DADDY!" She yelled, storming into his room.
Elrond had been sleeping and now stirred.
"Wha-wha? 5 more minutes mommy! I don't want to meet with the King of Gondor!" He whined, rolling around, hugging his covers and teddy bear to him tightly. He wore baby blue silk pajamas with little monkeys on them. His matching nightcap had fallen off and was now on the floor.
Arwen sighed, and stalked over to him. She picked up his nightcap and yanked his precious teddy bear out of his arms.
"Hey! Arwen! You're not being very nice! You're not sharing!"
"Daddy, I'm holding these things hostage until you wake up, get your lazy behind outta bed, and TALK TO ME!!!" She yelled the last part.
"Ooook," He said, very sad his teddy was taken away from him.
"Give me that too!!" She cried, grabbing his little blankie with the moons and stars on them. She was frustrated her dad was going through the toddler stage, again.
"You have a perfectly good imported Lorien comforter. Why use this ratty old thing?" Arwen looked at it in disgust, it had spots of peanut butter & jelly on it from yesterday's snacktime, and some spots of fruit punch spilled over it, too.
"That's my special blankie! It keeps the ringy-wraiths away," he said softly, frowning, sticking his thumb in his mouth.
"Ringy-wraiths? Daddy, you're going crazay," She announced.
He sniffled, curling up in a little ball.
"Daddy? What're you doing?"
Elrond chuckled.
"Okay then!! Everybody!! Listen up!" They yelled, simultaneously, both getting the joke.
"I'm going to Mandos! Who's comin wit me?" Elrond announced, jumping on his bed.
"Somebody pleeaasse help him!" Arwen said, like a scared little girl. She laughed, "I think my dad's gone crazay!"
"There's no mountain I can't climb, no tower too high, no bird that I can't learn how to fly. What do I gotta do to get through to you that there ain't nothing I can't take this chainsaw to?! Aaaannnh!!"
"OK DADDY! That's enough, I don't think the readers wanna hear the next part, too graphic for their poor little eyes. But if they would like to, they can review and request for Orlijah to write the full parody of 'My Dad's Gone Crazy' by Eminem," she smiled, then looked back at her dad, remembering the real reason she was here.
"DADDY!!!!!" she screamed, causing him to cover his ears.
"WHAT?!" he yelled back, now it was Arwen's turn to cover her ears.
"It's Aragorn," She whined, sitting on Elrond's lap, hugging her daddy.
"WHAT?! Did he abuse you? Take advantage of you? Cuz if he did, I swear by Luthien the Fair, I will show that boi some whoop ass!!! WAACHAA!!" He cried, getting feisty and doing some karate moves. (Don't ask how he does that with Arwen still in his lap, it's fanfiction, remember?)
"IT'S WORSE!! He's cheating on me!! With-"Arwen then burst out crying.
"Awww, sweetie. It's okay," He soothed her with a huggy-hug. "With who??" He asked sharply, furious Aragorn would do such a thing to Arwen who cooked, (ok, mostly the servants did that) cleaned, (well, the servants mostly did that, too) found his lost belongings, (the servants did that, as well, except in Esteladuial's story-yes, I'm advertising for her.) and gave him pleasure (THAT-the servants NEVER DID, it was something she was too good at to need anyone else to take her place.;P).
"With-with-with LEGOLAS!!!" I don't get it!! Why would he choose HIM over me?!?! I mean, he is more girly than me, BUT STILL!!" Arwen cried, still sobbing.
"Arwen, it's not you, it's him, especially if he's cheating with- waitaminute-LEGOLAS?!" he sounded & looked bewildered (think Elrond's council when Sam, Merry, & Pippin pop out outta nowhere and place themselves in the fellowship).
She looked up at him, "Well, I haven't exactly, well, caught them in the act, but I saw this story that told about it all!! It must've been a journal entry from Legolas or something!" She wiped her eyes with Elrond's stained blankie, getting angry again.
Elrond was speechless.
"I mean, if he didn't love me anymore, and had feelings for a fucking MALE ELF, he could've TOLD ME!! So I wouldn't have given up my immortality for that bastard. I COULD'VE SPENT ETERNITY WITH ELVEN ENTAINERS AND THEIR WELL KEPT BODS INSTEAD!!!! But, nooo. I waste my future, for that RANGER, and then end up having HIM fall in love with another male elf!! OoOoohHh!!!" Arwen whined, wanting to rip off Aragorn's head, as well as something else, off of his body.
Things had just started to sink in for Elrond.
"OH NO HE DOESN'T!!! NO ONE BREAKS THE HEART OF MY DAUGHTER TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF MIRKWOOD!!" Aragorn & Lego had better hope they polished up their fighting skills, cuz Elrond IS IN THE HOUSE!!!" he yelled, karate kicking his way out the door.
"Daddy, you're already in the house, but no matter. GO DADDY!!! YOU KICK THEIR ASSES!! YOU KICK THEIR ASSES GOOD!! I'll wash Billy Bear and your blankie wankie for you while you're gone!!" She shouted at Elrond.
He stuck his head back in the doorframe and winked, then gave a yell and stormed through the halls, singing.
"ELROND GOES RUNNING BY HIMSELF!! HURRAH HURRAH!! BREAK ARWEN'S HEART, I'LL BEAT YOU DOWN!! HURRAH HURRAH!!"
~~~~~~Meanwhile~~~~~~
Sam waited patiently for the site to load, since MEOL was awfully slow.
"Someday my cable modem in glistening bubble wrap will come," He sighed wistfully, thinking he had heard someone yelling and singing far off, it seemed to be getting louder and louder.
He turned his attention back to the computer.
It had stopped loading.
"DAMN MEOL! Always freezing!" He grumbled, clicking back.
"I'M bad!! YEAH!! I'm BAD!! I'm HERE TO ROCK YOUR WOOORLD!!!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Utter weirdness, I know. It only starts here. Well, actually, it started a long time ago, but hey, what the heck. They'll just get weirder and weirder. Brace yourselves, no joking this time, it's gonna be one hell of a ride the next few chaps-hehehe.
Haha, peanut butter & jelly. Yet another inside joke I and Esteladuial share. It's all cause of her sick, twisted, perverted mind. Go read 'Pennies Ahoy!' in our joint account Estelijah, and you'll see an example of that. While you're at it, go read all the stories there. We're like Juicy Fruit, guaranteed funniness-maybe not 100%, cuz of all you highly opinionated, picky PEOPLE!! Arrr-just read 'em.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The Fellowship Visits Fanfiction.net
Chapter 6. Tattletale
Arwen went in search of the one person, besides the one who betrayed her, that she could have talks and little 'sessions' with.
"DADDY!" She yelled, storming into his room.
Elrond had been sleeping and now stirred.
"Wha-wha? 5 more minutes mommy! I don't want to meet with the King of Gondor!" He whined, rolling around, hugging his covers and teddy bear to him tightly. He wore baby blue silk pajamas with little monkeys on them. His matching nightcap had fallen off and was now on the floor.
Arwen sighed, and stalked over to him. She picked up his nightcap and yanked his precious teddy bear out of his arms.
"Hey! Arwen! You're not being very nice! You're not sharing!"
"Daddy, I'm holding these things hostage until you wake up, get your lazy behind outta bed, and TALK TO ME!!!" She yelled the last part.
"Ooook," He said, very sad his teddy was taken away from him.
"Give me that too!!" She cried, grabbing his little blankie with the moons and stars on them. She was frustrated her dad was going through the toddler stage, again.
"You have a perfectly good imported Lorien comforter. Why use this ratty old thing?" Arwen looked at it in disgust, it had spots of peanut butter & jelly on it from yesterday's snacktime, and some spots of fruit punch spilled over it, too.
"That's my special blankie! It keeps the ringy-wraiths away," he said softly, frowning, sticking his thumb in his mouth.
"Ringy-wraiths? Daddy, you're going crazay," She announced.
He sniffled, curling up in a little ball.
"Daddy? What're you doing?"
Elrond chuckled.
"Okay then!! Everybody!! Listen up!" They yelled, simultaneously, both getting the joke.
"I'm going to Mandos! Who's comin wit me?" Elrond announced, jumping on his bed.
"Somebody pleeaasse help him!" Arwen said, like a scared little girl. She laughed, "I think my dad's gone crazay!"
"There's no mountain I can't climb, no tower too high, no bird that I can't learn how to fly. What do I gotta do to get through to you that there ain't nothing I can't take this chainsaw to?! Aaaannnh!!"
"OK DADDY! That's enough, I don't think the readers wanna hear the next part, too graphic for their poor little eyes. But if they would like to, they can review and request for Orlijah to write the full parody of 'My Dad's Gone Crazy' by Eminem," she smiled, then looked back at her dad, remembering the real reason she was here.
"DADDY!!!!!" she screamed, causing him to cover his ears.
"WHAT?!" he yelled back, now it was Arwen's turn to cover her ears.
"It's Aragorn," She whined, sitting on Elrond's lap, hugging her daddy.
"WHAT?! Did he abuse you? Take advantage of you? Cuz if he did, I swear by Luthien the Fair, I will show that boi some whoop ass!!! WAACHAA!!" He cried, getting feisty and doing some karate moves. (Don't ask how he does that with Arwen still in his lap, it's fanfiction, remember?)
"IT'S WORSE!! He's cheating on me!! With-"Arwen then burst out crying.
"Awww, sweetie. It's okay," He soothed her with a huggy-hug. "With who??" He asked sharply, furious Aragorn would do such a thing to Arwen who cooked, (ok, mostly the servants did that) cleaned, (well, the servants mostly did that, too) found his lost belongings, (the servants did that, as well, except in Esteladuial's story-yes, I'm advertising for her.) and gave him pleasure (THAT-the servants NEVER DID, it was something she was too good at to need anyone else to take her place.;P).
"With-with-with LEGOLAS!!!" I don't get it!! Why would he choose HIM over me?!?! I mean, he is more girly than me, BUT STILL!!" Arwen cried, still sobbing.
"Arwen, it's not you, it's him, especially if he's cheating with- waitaminute-LEGOLAS?!" he sounded & looked bewildered (think Elrond's council when Sam, Merry, & Pippin pop out outta nowhere and place themselves in the fellowship).
She looked up at him, "Well, I haven't exactly, well, caught them in the act, but I saw this story that told about it all!! It must've been a journal entry from Legolas or something!" She wiped her eyes with Elrond's stained blankie, getting angry again.
Elrond was speechless.
"I mean, if he didn't love me anymore, and had feelings for a fucking MALE ELF, he could've TOLD ME!! So I wouldn't have given up my immortality for that bastard. I COULD'VE SPENT ETERNITY WITH ELVEN ENTAINERS AND THEIR WELL KEPT BODS INSTEAD!!!! But, nooo. I waste my future, for that RANGER, and then end up having HIM fall in love with another male elf!! OoOoohHh!!!" Arwen whined, wanting to rip off Aragorn's head, as well as something else, off of his body.
Things had just started to sink in for Elrond.
"OH NO HE DOESN'T!!! NO ONE BREAKS THE HEART OF MY DAUGHTER TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF MIRKWOOD!!" Aragorn & Lego had better hope they polished up their fighting skills, cuz Elrond IS IN THE HOUSE!!!" he yelled, karate kicking his way out the door.
"Daddy, you're already in the house, but no matter. GO DADDY!!! YOU KICK THEIR ASSES!! YOU KICK THEIR ASSES GOOD!! I'll wash Billy Bear and your blankie wankie for you while you're gone!!" She shouted at Elrond.
He stuck his head back in the doorframe and winked, then gave a yell and stormed through the halls, singing.
"ELROND GOES RUNNING BY HIMSELF!! HURRAH HURRAH!! BREAK ARWEN'S HEART, I'LL BEAT YOU DOWN!! HURRAH HURRAH!!"
~~~~~~Meanwhile~~~~~~
Sam waited patiently for the site to load, since MEOL was awfully slow.
"Someday my cable modem in glistening bubble wrap will come," He sighed wistfully, thinking he had heard someone yelling and singing far off, it seemed to be getting louder and louder.
He turned his attention back to the computer.
It had stopped loading.
"DAMN MEOL! Always freezing!" He grumbled, clicking back.
"I'M bad!! YEAH!! I'm BAD!! I'm HERE TO ROCK YOUR WOOORLD!!!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Utter weirdness, I know. It only starts here. Well, actually, it started a long time ago, but hey, what the heck. They'll just get weirder and weirder. Brace yourselves, no joking this time, it's gonna be one hell of a ride the next few chaps-hehehe.
Haha, peanut butter & jelly. Yet another inside joke I and Esteladuial share. It's all cause of her sick, twisted, perverted mind. Go read 'Pennies Ahoy!' in our joint account Estelijah, and you'll see an example of that. While you're at it, go read all the stories there. We're like Juicy Fruit, guaranteed funniness-maybe not 100%, cuz of all you highly opinionated, picky PEOPLE!! Arrr-just read 'em.