"I Think I'll Keep You"
Licky:
The lights were off and only the dim glow of the monitors lit the Admirals room. Her back was facing the door, and her eyes seemed to be the only moving part of her. Kathryn's hair tangled down her back, as she had neglected to put it up. She wore the same off duty outfit--loose fitting pants, and a baggy t-shirt--that she had worn yesterday.
Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot from constant crying: now reduced to pointless staring. People came by, wondering if she was all right, but most of them just assumed that she was taking Seven's death harder then they expected. They didn't even know--really know--what was wrong. Of course she was upset over Seven's death, but it only added to her real pain. She continued to blame herself for Seven's suicide, thinking that if she pulled Chakotay out of that "relationship" after his containment in his house, that they would both have been happy.
The door chimed. Kathryn just ignored it, hoping the person would go away. It chimed again, and wouldn't stop. Finally she dried her eyes.
"Come," she croaked out, trying her hardest to hide her pain.
Light filtered in from the hallway out side her room. The light was obscured by a tall person in her doorway.
"You have to stop doing this to yourself, Kathryn." His voice was soft, yet still strong. It was what she needed right now: someone to take charge and let Kathryn overcome the Admiral.
"What do you want Chakotay?" Her voice was harsh as she called back to him. She wanted to run into his arms and never let go of him, but she couldn't. It would be too hard.
"You've been locked in here for days. Everyone is worried about you." He ignored her unspoken question.
They are worried about me? They don't even know me anymore. She knew the Voyager family had split apart, so why would they care if she was upset? She was just their old Captain. The thought made her tear up, and she couldn't hold the tears in. They started to flow, at first silently, down her cheeks. She continued to stare into the stars, the only thing familiar to her wherever she went.
Chakotay stepped into her quarters, letting the doors close behind him. The room was dark once more.
"Dammit Kathryn," he took another set towards her. How could he even dare to be here, to be talking to me. "There are people who care about you, and love you. You're only hurting them--" he looked down at the carpet, "more then they need right now."
She turned, abandoning the stars. "Do you love me, Chakotay?" The question was simple enough, and Kathryn didn't fell like jumping around the point of this visit.
"What?" He seemed startled by the bluntness of the question, probably expecting her to evade it.
"The question is simple enough. After all this time- since you professed your love to me on New Earth, since you married Seven--do you still love me? Have you ever loved me?" She stared, this time not on the passing star systems, but on the man she loved: the man she wanted to run up to and never let go.
He couldn't answer that question, not the way she wanted to hear anyway. He stood there with his eyes fixated on her beautiful face.
"I do," he started, "I always have"
"Then what was Seven!" she yelled, "Just a substitute?" She couldn't hold it in anymore. Kathryn ran up to Chakotay. Coming within an inch of his face, she hid her completely mixed emotions. "What, you couldn't wait for me? You knew how hard it was for me to have a relationship."
He lowered his voice almost to a whisper. "I moved on, Kathryn. I just didn't know if you loved me back. I found Seven, who liked me, and gave me the attention I deserved. That I needed. She loved me, and I thought I loved her." He looked into her watery blue eyes, searching for forgiveness, "In my heart I loved you, I just couldn't admit it: it hurt too much."
"I love you Chakotay, I always have." She put her hand around his neck and drew his head closer to her lips. As they kissed their world disappeared, all their problems never existed. Kathryn slowly broke away, but still stayed close to his face.
"I think I'll keep you, my dear Chakotay. I think I will."
Licky:
The lights were off and only the dim glow of the monitors lit the Admirals room. Her back was facing the door, and her eyes seemed to be the only moving part of her. Kathryn's hair tangled down her back, as she had neglected to put it up. She wore the same off duty outfit--loose fitting pants, and a baggy t-shirt--that she had worn yesterday.
Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot from constant crying: now reduced to pointless staring. People came by, wondering if she was all right, but most of them just assumed that she was taking Seven's death harder then they expected. They didn't even know--really know--what was wrong. Of course she was upset over Seven's death, but it only added to her real pain. She continued to blame herself for Seven's suicide, thinking that if she pulled Chakotay out of that "relationship" after his containment in his house, that they would both have been happy.
The door chimed. Kathryn just ignored it, hoping the person would go away. It chimed again, and wouldn't stop. Finally she dried her eyes.
"Come," she croaked out, trying her hardest to hide her pain.
Light filtered in from the hallway out side her room. The light was obscured by a tall person in her doorway.
"You have to stop doing this to yourself, Kathryn." His voice was soft, yet still strong. It was what she needed right now: someone to take charge and let Kathryn overcome the Admiral.
"What do you want Chakotay?" Her voice was harsh as she called back to him. She wanted to run into his arms and never let go of him, but she couldn't. It would be too hard.
"You've been locked in here for days. Everyone is worried about you." He ignored her unspoken question.
They are worried about me? They don't even know me anymore. She knew the Voyager family had split apart, so why would they care if she was upset? She was just their old Captain. The thought made her tear up, and she couldn't hold the tears in. They started to flow, at first silently, down her cheeks. She continued to stare into the stars, the only thing familiar to her wherever she went.
Chakotay stepped into her quarters, letting the doors close behind him. The room was dark once more.
"Dammit Kathryn," he took another set towards her. How could he even dare to be here, to be talking to me. "There are people who care about you, and love you. You're only hurting them--" he looked down at the carpet, "more then they need right now."
She turned, abandoning the stars. "Do you love me, Chakotay?" The question was simple enough, and Kathryn didn't fell like jumping around the point of this visit.
"What?" He seemed startled by the bluntness of the question, probably expecting her to evade it.
"The question is simple enough. After all this time- since you professed your love to me on New Earth, since you married Seven--do you still love me? Have you ever loved me?" She stared, this time not on the passing star systems, but on the man she loved: the man she wanted to run up to and never let go.
He couldn't answer that question, not the way she wanted to hear anyway. He stood there with his eyes fixated on her beautiful face.
"I do," he started, "I always have"
"Then what was Seven!" she yelled, "Just a substitute?" She couldn't hold it in anymore. Kathryn ran up to Chakotay. Coming within an inch of his face, she hid her completely mixed emotions. "What, you couldn't wait for me? You knew how hard it was for me to have a relationship."
He lowered his voice almost to a whisper. "I moved on, Kathryn. I just didn't know if you loved me back. I found Seven, who liked me, and gave me the attention I deserved. That I needed. She loved me, and I thought I loved her." He looked into her watery blue eyes, searching for forgiveness, "In my heart I loved you, I just couldn't admit it: it hurt too much."
"I love you Chakotay, I always have." She put her hand around his neck and drew his head closer to her lips. As they kissed their world disappeared, all their problems never existed. Kathryn slowly broke away, but still stayed close to his face.
"I think I'll keep you, my dear Chakotay. I think I will."