Author's Note: Sorry about the long delay, I kind of forgot with all the tests and stuff I had to take this week. I hope you all with forgive me… please?… and still read and review and everything. I hope you enjoy the chapter and please R/R. You can even scold me for my procrastinating.

Summary: Jesse struggles to get over what happened to him as he tries to have everything return to as 'normal' as possible. Will he recover or will he continue to drown in the confusion tumbling through his mind?

}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{

Chapter Ten:

Memories of a Time Rather Forgotten

After scrubbing himself for close to an hour and then eating the biggest lunch he had ever had, Jesse slowly cracked open the front door and snuck out onto the porch. Flinching internally as the door creaked when he closed. Hoping his father didn't hear, he held his breath for a moment and listened.

"Jesse? It that you?" Jack called. He could hear everything, just like his real dad.

"I'm just going to get some fresh air… on the porch," he quickly added. After a moment of silence, Jack agreed even though he was supposed to be asleep. But not without reminding him to come back in soon.

Closing the doors behind him, Jesse finally took the time to look at everything. Dozens of houses, in similar design, lined the two streets. The road had few cars on it except those parked in front of their respective houses.

But, what caught his eye, was a blonde girl walking down his street. Walking past the neighbors' house. His mind was so focused on her, he hardly heard her saying "Hi." With a smile and a wave, she turned onto the sidewalk leading to his father's house. Lamely he managed to move his hand enough to call it a wave.

"I haven't seen you in school the past few days."

Her statement was enough to brake his trance. Looking away from her, he plopped himself on the stairs and said, "I…'ve been sick."

"Really? With what?" As she spoke, her slow descent stopped, leaving three feet in between them.

With a shrug, Jesse told them the first thing that same to his mind. "I'm… don't remember what the doctor called it. I do remember I had a temperature of like… one hundred and twelve, or something. I was delusional, according to my mom." Hearing about his mental status while ill, caused her to laugh.

"I'm not kidding. I was mostly unconscious until last night. Even then I fell asleep like two hours later. I was feeling a little shaky but better today. My dad didn't make me go to school though."

After a short pause, he asked, "So, what have I missed?"

"Nothing much." He nodded and looked away, not knowing what else to say.

"So?"

"So."

"So, what do your parents do, anyway?" Alyssa asked, recalling how little she actually knew about the new boy.

Avoiding her gaze, he said, "They're in the Air Force."

Nodding, Alyssa asked, "I thought they had rules about Air Force… people marrying."

"Well, my… parents aren't actually married. They… just had me. Technically I… shouldn't exist. It was a huge… well, let's just say they could have gotten into a lot more trouble than they did," Jesse gave a shrug and a bemused grin. He was surprised at his ability to lie to her like that. But, then again, it wasn't technically a lie. Mostly it was true.

"Oh, that's weird."

"Yea, that's why I lived mostly with the Air Force. You know, private tutoring. That kind of thing." Jesse had drilled this lie into his mind before he had been kidnapped by Jones. He knew exactly how to respond to things like what he and Alyssa were talking about. He had even begun to believe it himself. He had even noticed that he was beginning to think of the Colonel and Major as, not their ranks, but as "mom" and "dad".

"Well, I should be going," Alyssa stated, not moving at all.

He looked up into her eyes and noticed that she was not wearing her usual blue contacts but clear ones. With a smile, and nodded and said, "Then, hopefully, I'll see you Monday."

"Yea." Turning, she walked down the small path and back to the sidewalk.

"Hey!" Jesse called and waited until she turned to look at him. "Do you live on this block?"

"Yea, at the end of the street."

The grin grew on his face as he thought of what she had said. "Then, maybe I'll see you this weekend."

A grin grew over her own face. "I'd like that. Last house. Can't miss it." For a few minutes, he just watched her walk away.

**Jesse's Room**

Jesse laid awake in his bed. He had gotten an hour or so of sleep but he just couldn't seem to stay that way. Too many memories surfaced. Too many things he'd rather not repeat seemed to be revealed.

Listening to the on-goings downstairs, he heard the phone ring once or twice before his father picked it up. Straining his ears, he could make out some of the conversation. Enough to know that it was his mother on the line.

"Hi, si… Jack," Sam corrected herself with a smile. It was not every day she got to say that, but they did agree to her using his real name while not on duty and around Jesse.

"Hey, Sam. How's Jacob?"

"Fine, he's with Mark in the other room. Actually, that's why I'm calling. With-"

"With Jacob and Mark you want to stay there and talk. You don't get to see them that often. I understand. I think Jesse would too. He'll see you tomorrow, anyway," Jack interrupted her.

"Right."

"Hey, Sam! You going to be on the phone the entire night, or just part of it?" Jack heard an unknown voice say on the other side of the line. He assumed it was Mark teasing his second in command.

"No, I was thinking I would stay on it until the morning. That way I don't have to talk to you," he heard Sam shoot back even though her hand was over the phone. Jack couldn't help but smile at her. He had seen a similar interaction between Daniel and her over the years, but he never had any siblings that he had gotten to torture or that got to torture him.

"I'm sorry, sir."

"Jack," he stated, correcting her apology.

"Jack," she said with a hint of sarcasm behind it. "Well, I should go entertain my brother. I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yea, see you then." Jack heard the click of Sam's phone hitting the receiver before he hung up as well. Sighing, he couldn't get the smile off his face even though he was upset that she couldn't come over for dinner.

**Jesse's Room**

It was happening all over again. The sharp pain coursed through his body and his control slipped away. He tried to fight it; to keep from losing his control like he remembered happened. To keep the corrupt thoughts away.

But he couldn't. With an abrupt movement, his eyes glowed and his hand turned itself toward his parents, his friends… his family. A reddish orange light was produced from it; they all were forced back and hit the wall. He knew that they were dead. And, despite his efforts, a grin spread across his face. In some sick way, he felt good about what had happened.

Jesse snapped his eyes opened. His heart was pounding in his chest; his breathing was labored and uncontrolled. Pushing himself into a sitting position, he tried to slow his heart and breathing down. At the same time, he ran a hand over his sweaty face and then through his tangled and messy hair.

Turning his head, he read the green lights on his clock. It was barely six in the mourning, but he knew he would not be able to fall back asleep. He needed to be ready to be ready to go to the SGC by nine, where Janet would give them the results of his tests.

Pushing the blankets aside and standing, he gave his final decision to get ready.

**Jack's House, Kitchen**

With an odd familiarity with the surrounding room, Jesse maneuvered around and grabbed the necessary supplies to make his breakfast. With his bowl and spoon, he poured in his 'Weaties' cereal before pouring the milk over top of it.

Sprinkling two spoon fulls of sugar over top of it, he brought it over to the table and sat down. Spooning the cereal into his mouth, he ate slower than normal. For the first time since he had gotten there, he allowed his taste buds the ability to actually taste the flavor of the cereal.

"You up already?"

Jesse's head spun to look at his father walking into the room. Normally, Jack beat him up and was already dressed by the time Jesse saw him. Looking him over, it was apparent that he just recently woke.

"Yea, I couldn't sleep. So I just got up and took a shower," Jesse told him before returning to his cereal.

Jack nodded as he moved for the coffeepot, making a new one. Turning to face his son, he said, "You remember we have to go to the SGC. And… Sam will take you from there."

"Right, I remember."

"And SG-1 has a two hour mission debriefing," Jack reminded him, his voice still showing the signs of his fatigue.

"Yep," Jesse replied as he went to rinse out his bowl in the sink. Afterward, he cleared his mess, still listening to Jack.

"Janet offered to let you stay in the Infirmary with her. That or in one of the rooms, by yourself."

"I think I'll help out in the Infirmary, thanks." Jesse turned, sitting on one of the counter seats as he watched Jack pour his mourning coffee cup.

Taking a cautious sip of the dark liquid, Jack said, "So, how are you feeling? You said you couldn't sleep, because of nightmares or… what?"

Jesse just shrugged and looked at the ground. "I'm ok. I just wasn't tired after my constant naps, I guess. No nightmares, not really."

"Not really?"

Thinking better of his words, Jesse corrected them by saying, "Nothing. I didn't mean it like that."

Jack knew he wasn't going to talk about it and his persistence would probably make the situation worse. Perhaps he would voice his concerns to Janet later, maybe have him talk to Mackenzie (no matter how much he would rather than he didn't).

**SGC, Infirmary**

Janet had held off showing Jack, Sam, and Jesse Friday night when she got the labs back. Instead, she decided to hold them until the next day. Mostly, she wanted Jesse to get his rest, but, also, it was to run some extra tests on Jesse's blood samples.

In the initial tests, she had noticed an increase of white blood cells. More tests confirmed that Jesse had a strain of a virus or something. His body seemed to have created an antibody and was fighting it off but, what she didn't understand, was why it wasn't effecting him at that moment.

Cross-referencing the new blood sample to the old, she didn't see the virus anywhere else. It seemed that he got it when he went off world or something. But, as far as she could tell, he had only gotten it a few days ago.

Or, at least, that's what Jesse had caught from Janet's speech. Se had confirmed he truly had no Gou'ald in him and showed proof with the MRI that she had taken: the only real thing he wanted to know at that point.

"Is it contagious?" Sam asked from her spot at the end of Jesse's bed, right next to the Colonel. Before telling them everything she had, Janet first gave Jesse another check up to see how he was doing.

"I don't think so. But… it's the strangest virus I've ever seen. It doesn't appear to be doing… anything. I'll have to run more tests but I think he's safe to leave the base and go to school Monday."

Jesse nodded; though he understood little of what any of it meant, he nodded as if he knew and understood. But he didn't. And he didn't care to. All of it meant little to nothing to him, he just wanted it to be over.

"Jesse?"

"Yea?" He asked, his eyes searching for Sam's.

"The Colonel and I have to go to a briefing, will you be alright here?" she told him.

Without taking any time, he shook his head and stated, "I'll stay here. I don't mind waiting for you."

"Ok," Jack told him with a nodded and the two walked out of the Infirmary and turned to be out of his sight.

"Jesse?" He heard Janet say and obediently turned his head to answer. "I need to talk to you about something… very important."

"Ok," Jesse responded, his voice weak and timid.

Janet said down on the bed next to him and gave him the warmest look she could muster. "After everything you went through… even for many SG members, it can be very traumatizing. I would like you to see Dr. Mackenzie, psychologist. Just talk to him, about whatever you like. But at least see him once. You can even go now while your parents are at their briefing and they don't have to know, if that's what you'd like."

Jesse absorbed all of what she was saying like a sponge. He knew the dreams were caused by all the stress and emotions he had learned to bury deep down. And he knew what had happened to him wasn't exactly gone from his mind. Maybe a visit to this psychologist would help.

"I don't know." Maybe not. Jesse had meant to say that he'd try it, but that's not what came out.

"Are you sure?" Jesse just shrugged. "Just once, you don't have to do it again if you don't want to."

Jesse neither did nor said anything for a few minutes. He thought it over, weighed his options. Before saying, "I guess I'll give it a try." With that, she led him from the small hospital and down the hall to the psychologist.

**Dr. Mackenzie's Office**

"Tell me, Jesse, what happened after you left the SGC?"

Jesse was now half-sitting, half-laying on a black couch- the same kind seen on television. He knew that this Doctor had been briefed on his situation before he had gotten there for Janet had left without much of a word to him.

Sitting in his large, comfortable chair, he studied Jesse closely; his pad on the edge of the desk, ready to write down whatever he felt necessary. With his check in his hand, his patience with the teenager was commendable.

Jesse watched him a moment. He was an averagely sized man in his late forties. His brown hair had begun to thin and was allotting for small bald spots here and there. The man's voice was deep and commanding, but, at the same time, friendly and open. Jesse knew this to be a voice all shrinks used to get their patients to talk to them… and Jesse didn't have any trouble ignoring that.

With a shrug, he tried to think of the less vivid, less colorful summery of his experience. "Well, Jones- the man the Gou'ald had taken control of- was in the infirmary, where I was. He told me no one would mind if I took a look at the Stargate; I really wanted to see it. I thought he was telling the truth, so I went with him. I shouldn't have, I know that now. When we got into the 'gate room, I guess I was so… amazed by the device that I wasn't paying attention to other things."

"It's hard not to be," the shrink noted. "I've seen it so many times, but every time I can't help but feel so… inferior to it."

Jesse just nodded and continued, "When it started the spin, I couldn't look away. I must have missed him leave and knock out the guards up in the control room… thing. Before I knew what was going on, he had a gun to my neck."

"How did you feel?"

Jesse shook his head and stated, "I... I don't know."

"Were you scared? Did you think that you would die there?"

"I was… kind of afraid. But I… knew he wouldn't kill me. I guess that lessened my fear," Jesse told him with a sense of certainty he wasn't sure was true or not.

"How did you know he wasn't going to kill you?" The Doctor asked, his steady pace a comfort to Jesse's spinning mind.

"I don't know. It just seemed that he had gone through a lot to set that much up, I didn't think he would waste it by killing me. Besides, I was his only leverage, if he killed me, he wouldn't have had a shield. And I knew that the MP's in the 'gate room wouldn't have shot me."

"What happened next?"

"He took me to another planet. There were Jaffa there. One of them took me to a cell on this… gold covered ship. It would have been interesting if I weren't in such a position," Jesse added, telling how he felt about the ship, thinking it might come up sooner or later.

"Go on," the man urged, still gazing thoughtfully at the teenager, who was deep in thought.

"I don't know… later they brought me to a… large room. I was put on a… bed kind of thing. Jones took this snake thing. I think it was a Gou'ald. It was put on my chest. The mere presence of it was strange enough but… then Jones pushed my head to the side and it… it…"

"It made you its host?"

"Yea. I felt… I knew my control was slipping away. I couldn't help it. I tried to fight it but… I couldn't. It was too hard," Jesse stated. It seemed he was trying to convince himself that there was nothing else that could have been done rather than tell Dr. Mackenzie what happened.

"How did you feel?"

"I was terrified. I didn't know what was going on. I thought… I thought that… I don't know what I thought. I think I was too out of it to think like that," Jesse said.

All through his confession, Mackenzie's hand was jotting notes like mad. "What happened next?"

"I… I don't really remember. I was in and out of consciousness for a while, I don't recall much until I woke up. It was not long before the Tok'ra spy and a few Rebel Jaffa arrived and we got out of there. Everything was mostly a blur. I was so tired and weak, I don't remember much nor did I really have any time to think or feel."

A knock at the door interrupted Jesse. Mackenzie stood and opened the door. Behind it was Janet. "His parents are almost done with their briefing. I should get Jesse back to the Infirmary."

"Right." Turning, he said to Jesse, "It was nice to meet… and talk to you. If you want to talk again, just come by."

Jesse nodded as he hopped down from the couch. Stepping away, he joined Janet on the other side of the door. With a fait smile, he retreated from the office to his newest sanctuary: the Infirmary.

**SGC, Infirmary**

Janet immediately escorted Jesse to the Infirmary and left him with a short Japanese nurse with the assurance that his parents would be there any time. With a smile, he took it all in and introduced himself to the nurse who, he then found out, was named Nariko Ishikawa. She was a nice, kind woman with a perky personality and a thick Japanese accent.

But, even though she was nice to be around, he wanted out of the SGC. And his pray was answered when Jack and Sam walked through the large doors. "Hi," he greeted them with a smile.

"Hey, ready to go?"

With creased brows, he asked, "Isn't g-Jacob coming with us?"

"He has to stay and talk with the General. But he'll be staying over with us until tomorrow," Sam told him. Nodding, Jesse turned and thanked Nurse Ishikawa for looking after him for the ten minutes he was in the Infirmary.

"So where are we going?" Jesse asked as they walked out into the familiar setting of the dim, boring halls.

"Somewhere to eat," Jack told him without expanding.

**O'Malleys: Bar and Grill**

Interestingly, Jack thought it would be amusing to go back to O'Malleys and see their reactions after three years. Of course, when he said this to Sam, Jesse was listening and curious to know more, but, thankfully, the waitress came at that moment.

"What can I get for you folks?" Or not so thankfully. Strangely enough, it was the same waitress they had had three years ago. "Wow, I never thought I'd see you two again."

Jack, looking down with a smile on his face answered, "Yea, well, that whole suspension thing was up over a year ago and… you know, I think I'll just have the steak dinner and a beer."

"Yea, I'll have the same only a diet coke," Sam told the waitress, remembering the look she had gotten from the two guys when she ordered four steaks and a diet soda.

"Alright, just one?"

"Just one," Jack answered her back.

Jesse, again, just stood on the sidelines watching and taking everything in. A smile crossed his face as he listened to the conversation, his imagination wild about what might have happened there years ago.

"And for you?" He heard the waitress say.

"Um, I'll just have the chicken strips and a Pepsi."

"What kind of sauce would you like?"

"Honey Dijon, please," he told her with a smile as he handed over the menu. When she was out of earshot, his parents seemed to no longer be able to contain themselves and burst out in laughter.

"I can't believe she managed to be our waitress," Jack commented.

"Really. I never thought I'd see her again."

"Oh, remember her face when I told her those steaks were for me?" Jack asked through his fits of laughter.

"Yea, and then Daniel ordered four."

"And you with your diet coke." He would never let her live that down now.

As their laughter died off, Jesse just sat there with a smile on his face. "What was that all about?" He asked, assuming he could now get a straight answer. But that wasn't going to happen. Instead, their laughter was heightened.

"It's a long story," Sam explained.

"Basically, we had these alien devices. We broke out of house arrest and came here, where we then bought like ten steaks for just Daniel, Sam, and me. She was our waitress then," Jack told him through his light chuckling.

But Jesse just shook his head with a smile and looked away.

}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{

So, how do you like things so far? Good? Bad? Or not too weird for you? Either way, R/R, please. And thanks to those who have been.