Author's Note: Once again, I much appreciate all of the reviews you guys have written. (Are you sure it's not just one person writing under a bunch of names? Just thought I'd ask.) I do expect to continue seeing them for this and the last chapter. Thanks!

Summary: Jesse's internal struggle grows as he tries to decide which home he would rather live in. But which will he choose?

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Chapter Seventeen:

Home Sweet Home

Jesse had taken refuge in his old base quarters, hoping he could at least think. The shock of realization that everyone on Earth was dead and agony of not knowing anything had been bad enough. But the sudden and unexpected discovery that some- including his parents- were still alive and the actual numbers of survivors and deaths just might have been worse.

As he buried his face into his pillow, he pulled his body even closer, as if it could do some kind of good. But, all the while he lay there, not a single of many tears fell. All the time he spent replaying memories, both bad and good, not one escaped and streamed down his cheeks.

A knocking at the door brought him out of his numbness. "Who is it?" he called, careful of letting his emotions fill his voice.

"Just me, kid," he heard his father's voice say. "Can I come in?"

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know which father it was, his real or more foster. And, for some reason, he was finding that he wanted it to be Jack and not as much his father. After wiping his tear-filled eyes on his sleeve and sat up, he called out a weak 'come in'.

The door opened with a muffled squeak to reveal the distinct figure that belonged to his father. For a minute, he looked over the man's body, not knowing which it was. The look in his eyes and the light scar on his eyebrow told him that it was, in fact, Jack and not his real father.

"Hey, how're you doin'?" He asked, a sympathetic pity filling his voice.

"Fine." When it was evident that Jack didn't believe him, he added a, "Really. I'm fine."

"Ok, ok. If you say so. What did they ask?" His foster father asked, plopping himself down on the end of the bed.

Jesse's eyes found a loose thread on the bed comforter and rested his eyes there. He couldn't meet Jack's eyes, he couldn't see whatever emotion would be there when he told him. "They want me to go back with them. That's why they came."

Jack tried to nod but his muscles had frozen with the news. The best he could get out and keep neutral was a simple, "What did you say?"

It took a long time before Jesse answered, or at least it seemed like that. The calmness of Jack's voice lead Jesse to believe he didn't care and, for some reason, it hurt. If he would have looked and watched his expression, he would have known that Jack felt the opposite.

"Nothing," was his long awaited answer.

"Nothing?" Jack repeated, confusion in his voice.

"I don't know where I want to go anymore," Jesse explained. "Three weeks ago, I would have returned without second thought. But now… now I couldn't tell you. I've gotten so used to being here, with you and Sam."

Jack looked at his face. Only a month ago it was that of a boy. A young, innocent, inexperienced boy. But now, now he looked into his face and saw a man. A man who had seen and felt a lot of pain and suffering. One who had been through a lot and thought of things so differently from that of only weeks ago. Days that seemed so far in the past. But they weren't and they both knew it.

"I can't tell you where to go. The best advice I can give is that… they're your parents. They're the ones who raised and they love you. They showed that by sending you somewhere where you'd be safe," Jack told him. Bringing his index finger and thumb under his chin, he forced Jesse to look at him. With a faint smile he said, "I think you should go with them, but you don't have to if that's not what you want."

Looking long and hard into Jack's eyes for any form of deception, the long held back tears started to stream down his checks. He couldn't hold them back, nor did he want to. Silent sobs began to over take his body and, before he knew it, Jack's strong arms were around him, protecting him, soothing him.

**SGC, Sam's Lab**

"Interesting," came a distracted voice at the door of Sam's lab. The voice startled her, making her stop working and look almost instantly. Seeing herself, for a second, caused her panicked mind to have to double think everything until she came to the conclusion it was Samantha and not a delusion.

"What's interesting?" She asked as her double began to invite herself in. Sam had to practice great restraint in order to keep from glaring at her.

"Just that our labs are the exact same room… and we even do the same thing to keep our minds off of everything," she answered, her eyes focusing on the naquadah reactor Sam had been studying.

"Really?"

Samantha recognized the distrust in her voice. She knew that, in her place, it would be hard to resist hating or, at least, being wary of herself. "I know this must be hard, even confusing to you but-"

"Actually it's not. We've had a few experiences with the mirror before… I've met one of my counterparts before. The theory of multiple realities isn't very confusing in the least," Sam told her, finally able to hold Samantha's haggard but firm gaze.

"I see." Samantha wanted to say a lot more, but refrained. She knew that it wasn't wise to speak about things she wasn't certain of. Things she only knew had happened in her reality and, most likely, not this one. She knew they were rather new at 'gate travel, there was no telling what they hadn't begun to see.

Once it was evident to Sam that she wasn't going to continue, she picked up her tools and began fiddling with the naquadah generator. For a time, Samantha just watched. They had gotten a hold of a generator or two, but not like the one Sam had.

After ten minutes of just watching and working, Samantha decided to ask something that had been bugging her. Looking at her collar, she noted the leaves; she was a Major. "Uh, Major."

"Yes," Sam responded, looking up at herself, she didn't want a repeat of two months ago- shocking herself when she had tried focusing on Jack talking and the generator.

"With both you and Jack in the Air Force… you're not…" She trailed off, leaving the known end hanging.

"No," Sam replied with a shake of her head. "We can't."

"Yes, I know. Actually that was half the reason why I quit," Samantha informed her as she began to wonder the room.

"You were in the Air Force? Jesse told me that you weren't."

"He doesn't know that I was. I was only in it for a few years. That's how I met Jack, we were given the same assignment then the Stargate Program afterward. I resigned my commission and signed on as a civilian scientist with field ability," she explained.

The wheels in Sam's mind could almost be seen in her eyes as she quickly tried to absorb what she had been told. It seemed an interesting proposition to solve a problem that had begun but… was she ready to risk it all: her heart and career?

"Why are you telling me this?" She asked.

But Samantha just smiled and simply answered, "Just making small talk." Sam nodded and tried to start working again. But was soon interrupted by her double when she started talking again.

"What's your Jack like?"

"A lot like you," Sam answered before thinking. But then quickly made up for it by finishing with more sarcasm. "He likes to talk to me endlessly as I try to work. Therefore I never get anything done with him around."

Samantha smiled and said, "My Jack does that a lot. Only sometimes it's talk… other times… well you know." Sam couldn't help but laugh with her double. No matter how strange it was to laugh about that or think about Jack in that way, it wasn't her and Jack, well it was… but it wasn't. Whatever. 

"According to Jesse, the Jacks and us have a lot more similarities than that."

"Well Jesse's a smart boy. Very observant too. If he said that than I'd have to believe him." After a pause, she added, "He has so much potential, I'd hate to bring him to a world that would take away from him. If he even chooses to go, that is."

Sam, trying to ignore what had just been implied, reassured her, "But you wouldn't be. You'd be taking him to his reality, where he belongs. He's bright and quick, if he wants to learn he'll find a way to do that."

"I'm sure he will."

**SGC, Base Quarters**

"Do you think he'll come with us?" Samantha asked her husband as she lay, uncomfortably, on the base bed.

Pacing back and forth throughout the room, Jack stopped and plopped down on the end of the bed. "I don't know. I really don't know. The Jesse I knew was so different from the one I saw today. He may not be ready… he might not want to. I just don't know what to make of him any more."

His wife nodded. Her eyes looked over his worried features. Lines of age, stress, and worry could be found. His eyes covered with grief and sorrow- both from those he lost and those he was forced to kill. He lost much: he lost friends, his home, and his son. Just as he had killed many: Jaffa, Gou'ald, those on Earth, and his son. The son he knew, that is.

A knock at the door made the couple jump. But, though startled, Samantha rose and opened the door, unsure as to whom it was. But, when she saw, it startled her just that much more. There stood her fourteen-year-old son. The son she had been forced to send away and now feared that his anger was directed at her for that choice.

"I didn't mean to disturb you but, I was wondering, could I talk to you?" His voice was unsure- weary of the two.

"Of course," his mother said, ushering him into the room and offering him a seat.

Upon seating himself, Jesse looked at his mother. His eyes wanted to fill with tears and hug her senseless. But the control and walls he had built up stopped the impulses and allowed him to remember the words he needed to ask his question.

"What did you want to know?"

"Why? Why so long? You must have been safe in the Gamma Cite for days now but you never came to get me," Jesse started.

"I know. But there was a lot to do," Jack started. "We had to set up the camp- no one had been there in weeks. We had to secure the 'gate. Get everyone settled. Getting the mirror out of storage was one of the last things we could do."

Then Samantha picked up with, "We wanted to come sooner but couldn't. Unfortunately there were a lot of things that took precedence over you. Besides, you were better off here."

Without an acknowledgment of their words, he continued, "Why didn't you tell me about the virus?"

Sam and Jack looked at each other, not sure how to respond to his question. When Sam looked back at his expectant yet tight and unyielding face, she told him, "We didn't know how to tell you when you were so young. Then, after being away from the SGC for so long, we didn't feel a need to tell you."

Though sound in its reason, that wasn't the answer he wanted to hear. But, then again, he didn't know what he wanted to hear. Perhaps that was the best thing to believe- that that was the true reason they didn't tell him. But his mind wasn't thinking like that. In reality, it didn't know what it was thinking.

Moving right past the newest answer, he asked his next question. "Why even bother bringing the mirror with you? It's not like I was foremost on your minds at the time." The anger and venom in his mind tried to reach the words but the love in his heart kept the emotions from showing.

"That's not true," Samantha assured him, putting a tender hand on his knee. Her voice was kind and sincere but nothing but the words seemed to reach Jesse's ears through his uncertain haze. "I thought of you every second. Prayed that you were all right. That you had found us in this reality. That they were taking care of you."

"We wanted you back, to be there with us but we knew that you were better off in this reality."

"But why bring it?" He insisted, his stone eyes meeting Jack's. He wanted facts at the moment, not his parents' empathy. He wanted to know everything as much as he wanted to hug and kiss them.

Jack sighed, seeing the determination in his new son's eyes. Nodding, he said, "For the past few months, actual 'gate travel had been limited- exploration was temporarily stopped. We decided to try an alternate choice: the quantum mirror. We hadn't studied it much before.

"We had a lot of research with it, we'd even obtained technology from some realities. Certain people were trained to go through and scout out the areas. They'd go and get the basic idea of what was going on in each reality. A certain device would be attached to that mirror and ours so that they could get back or we could find them. If the Gou'ald had gotten a hold of this information, of the mirror, who knows what could have happened."

Throughout his explanation, Jesse starred at his father, taking in what he had said and deciding whither or not he was telling the truth. After all he had discovered about his past that his parents had never told him, he was beginning to wonder what else they had left out. Not to mention what he could believe from them anymore.

But, through all his distrust, he asked questions and listened to the answers. Took in what was said and how they said it. And, after almost an hour, he had asked the foremost questions on his mind. The ones that had bugged him since the beginning or that had formed throughout the month long adventure.

"Thanks, for the answers," Jesse said, slowly rising and heading for the door.

"Jesse," his father called, stopping him. "Have… have you decided?"

Jesse turned and looked at him, his eyes impassive. Looking his father in the eye, he said, "I don't know. I want to but I just… I don't know."

Again, he turned, not seeing the look of torment and pain that shot through his parents though hope still remained. Taking a few steps, he stopped in front of the door. One last question was weighing on his mind ever since they had mentioned that people from Colorado Springs made it through with them.

He debated with himself for a moment while his parents just watched him patiently. Looking over his shoulder, he settled on asking. "You said that some people from the area made it through the 'gate. Did…"

"She made it, kid. But not her dad," Jack told him, his eyes and voice telling Jesse his mind was reliving something from that day. Jesse knew the look. Ever since he had arrived in this new reality, he had seen it on many, including himself.

Jesse nodded, twisting him body back to face the door. With a turn of his wrist, the door opened to reveal a dim corridor and three guards. Stepping outside while closing the door behind him, Jesse merely continued to walk down the hall, ignoring the guard that followed a few paces behind him.

He truly wanted to go. He wanted to see Alyssa- his Alyssa- again. He wanted to be with his real parents. He wanted to help his people. But he didn't know if he wanted to leave Earth, and Sam and Jack, and everyone and everything else. He just didn't know anything anymore.

**Jack's House**

"You've been rather quiet tonight, Jesse," Jack commented after swallowing his last bit of spaghetti. Jesse just shrugged, swirling his food around on his fork.

"Are you feeling ok?" Sam asked, seeing that he was paler than normal.

Again he shrugged but gave an answer. "Just thinkin'."

"'Bout what?" Jack knew exactly what that was, he was just waiting for Jesse to admit it.

Instead, he received a shrug and a, "Stuff."

Jack and Sam looked at each other from their sides of the table. Jack's look was all knowing, like he knew what was going on, while Sam was worried though, behind all that, she had a pretty good idea what it was.

"I think I'll just go to my room," Jesse announced, rising and walking away from the table.

Once out of earshot and half way up the stairs, Sam asked, "Should we go after him?"

"I don't know. He's still trying to answer his parents' question."

"To go with them?" She guessed but received a positive nod. "It'd probably be for the best if he did."

"That's what I told him… but that, in the end, it was entirely up to him." Sam looked behind her at the way he had left, nodding at Jack at the same time. 

Only minutes later, the sound of bare feet padding down the stairs was heard before Jesse appeared in the doorway to the dining room. Leaning himself against the large frame, he looked out at his two parents with sad eyes.

They didn't say a word, knowing it might change his mind of whatever he was about to do. Instead, they watched. Watched and waited for him to say or do something. Which he did.

"I'm going." The hushed, raspy voice hit open ears. No matter how much the two believed it was the right thing, neither was ready to just send him away without second thought. Nor was it that easy to ignore the pained feeling knowing that he truly was leaving on his own accord and choosing to leave them.

After a long moment of silence, Jack nodded and said, "Did you tell your parents yet?"

"I just did," he told them bluntly before walking away.

**Colorado Springs Middle School**

"I'll be right out here," Jack told Jesse as he got out of the car.

Looking out to the large school his imagination kicked into gear without pause. His mind's eyes could just see the building no more than rubble and ruins. Dead everywhere after the ships' weapons had targeted and destroyed the surrounding area. Smoking debris was all that was left of the once happy school.

Shaking off the mental image, he forced his legs forward. Walking through the doors, he headed for his locker, ready to clear it out. But, before that, his eyes spotted one of the two people he wished to speak to.

"Hey, Jesse," she said with a smile.

"Hey," he responded. "Um… I just wanted to say good-bye and that it was nice to get to know you."

He put out his hand, willing her to accept it. Though Alyssa was confused, she shook it. "Jesse?"

"I'm leaving. Um, moving to a new school," Jesse explained.

"Will I ever be able to see you?"

"I doubt it." She just nodded. A faint bell was heard over the loud noise in the hall. "You have to go. Good-bye."

"Bye. Try and get back," she told him with a smile.

He gave a weak smile in return and said, "I'll try." After watching her walk away, his eyes caught the second person he needed to say something to.

"Shayn! Shayn!" Jesse called as he rushed down the hallway, trying to catch up with Shayn's rushing form. "Wait up," he said, putting a hand out to stop him.

"What do you want?" He growled. Jesse was taken aback. He knew that Shayn must have been pissed after his remarks and that he had said to forget about him but he hadn't expected the venom he heard in his voice.

"Look, I just wanted to say that I was sorry. And thanks for everything," Jesse told him without fault, knowing he had to say his words.

"Why bother telling me this now?" He hissed before maneuvering around his rival.

"I'm leaving today. I just wanted to say good-bye."

"Never coming back?" Shayn asked with his back to him.

"This school? Never. Around? I hope."

If watched closely, anyone could have seen that Shayn's head nodded slightly before he started hustling down the halls. Jesse merely smiled and turned to walk back to clear out his locker.

**SGC, Storage Closet**

The shimmering glow of the mirror's center cast a faint glint in Jesse's eye as he stared meaninglessly into his true reality he had long ago begun to think of as destroyed or unreachable. He had thought that, perhaps, when he was older he would return to his home. Now that dream seemed short-lived. Pointless in its optimism.

The dull gray walls beckoned him in. Summoned his attention. The two men standing guard at the door, keeping a watchful eye on the mirror- watching with false indifference of the on-goings in a place they could only imagine. A place they imagined to be paradise; filled with wonder and gold. But perhaps to them, what that reality was like, was a paradise.

The sound of Jack's voice cut its way through the distracted fog in Jesse's mind. He spoke quietly, thanking Jack and Sam for taking care of Jesse for all the time that he had been there. But, Jesse sensed, there was a strained sound in his voice as if he truly didn't mean the words that came out of his mouth.

With a nod at the two officers, his father turned to him. With a pat on the shoulder, he moved aside and allowed his mother to hug him. Whispering in his ear, "We'll see you on the other side." Nodding into her shoulder, Jesse let go and watched with mixed feelings as his parents moved through space and time and returned to the one place he no longer felt he understood.

Through the mirror, he saw his parents turn away from the mirror. At first he cared little about the privacy they seemed to be giving him. But, when he turned to look at those he had thought of as his 'parents', he felt his insides start to quiver inside of him and was immediately thankful for it.

In front of him stood only Sam and Jack. Earlier he had spent some time in the Infirmary with Janet and bid her farewell before entering the storage room him was now in. Daniel and Teal'c had stopped by while he was in the Infirmary, as did the General and a few others he had befriended at the SGC.

With a weak smile at his nervous parents, he stepped up to Sam and embraced her tightly. It may not have been very long that he had known them, but it was long enough to feel sadden by the loss of their presence. Parting from her, he gave a soft smile- the one he had inherited from his father- and squeezed her hands.

Moving on to his father, he was pulled into a short embrace. "Don't forget to visit once in awhile. You can drop by. Just remember I'll always have a spare room in my house." His comment ended with a quick glance in Sam's direction.

With a hand on his shoulder, Jack gently turned his surrogate son in the direction of the mirror. "You should get goin'. They're waiting," Jack told him, talking about his parents who were looking through the mirror. Patient as they were, they seemed anxious to have him home.

Jesse nodded, the longing to return turning his stomach into knots. The only problem was the completion with his sorrow of leaving. Turning himself against Jack's strong, rough hand, he looked up, into their faces.

"Maybe I'll see ya around… Mom, Dad. Good-bye… and thanks." The shock of Jesse's words kept the pair from speaking to him before he touched the portal and disappeared to his home.

Jesse waved at Jack and Sam, giving them a sad smile. Last time a wave had been a signal to lock him out of his home; to shut down the machine. This time it was the same. The machine was deactivated and the link to his home destroyed. But, perhaps when he was older, he would return to his home. A dream that, hopefully, would not be pointless in its optimism.

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Ok, so I had expected to do more with Jesse's parents and everything but… I don't know, didn't seem to work out like that. But I do think that my epilogue will make up for that (I think it's a very good one, if I do say so myself). Please R/R and stay tuned a few more days until I post the end (Wednesday, Thursday maybe).