Title: Figuring it Out
Author: Kristen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own Don't sue...mark and Roger belong to Jonathan Larson and whoever has control of his estate
Feedback: Any and all is welcome...no flames though
Authors Note: This is my first attempt at Mark/Roger and only second attempt at M/M slash in general, so please be gentle!
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He slammed me up hard against the wall, his body pressed unbelievably close. His breath hot against my face. How do you breathe? For a moment I can no longer remember. His eyes a mixture of anger and lust and his lips just a hairs breath away. I want to close the small gap, but I'm to frightened and too lost in him to do anything but stand there trapped between his strong, hard body.
He grinds his hips into mine pinning me flat against the wall now and I groan despite myself. I wanted this, I wanted him. Then he does it, he does what I've wanted him to do for months. He kisses me. Hard and bruising his tongue forcing it's way inside my mouth. I'm shocked at first, but kiss him back just as hard. I try to move my arms to wrap around his neck, I want him closer, but he's got a tight grasp of my wrists. This went on for several delicious minutes before he pulled back, looking almost horrified at what he had just done. I stayed still flat against the wall panting as he released his death grip on my wrists.
"I'm sorry, Mark," he whispered stepping backwards.
"You have nothing to be sorry about." I smile and reach out to grab his hand, but he jerks it away. I can't keep the hurt from my eyes.
"This," he indicated between us, "can never happen."
"What do you mean, it just did. There is no going back. You can't take it back." I could feel the tears forming and I tried to blink them back. I wouldn't cry in front of him.
"I'm not like you, Mark. I'm not gay." My mouth dropped open and looked away.
"I'm not." My voice was so small and full of pain and hurt. It was true, I wasn't, not really. Just because I lusted after my best friend doesn't make me gay, right? He's the only guy I've ever had these feelings for and I don't think any other guy could do what a smile from him does or what that seering kiss just did.
"Mark, you don't have to hide it from me. I know you too well."
"Do you?"
Roger just nodded.
"Then you know that I love you." There I had said it, I didn't want it to come out like that, but there was no taking it back now.
Roger blinked and looked at me. "I-I love you too?" he said unsure.
"I don't mean friendship love. I mean the every time I see you I want to kiss you and hold you type love. The love that makes me weak inside when you smile and I ache when you're hand accidentally brushes mine. That's the love I'm talking about, you know the kind of love you don't feel for me." I played with my scarf nervously, not wanting to look at him right then. I couldn't take the rejection I was sure to see, so it came as quite a shock when his hand cupped my chin and lifted my eyes to meet his. He was smiling, actually smiling and that caused a slight smile to form on my lips as well. He leaned in giving me a slow and gentle kiss. It was nothing more than a mere brush of his lips against mine, but somehow it was better than the kiss we had just shared. This one held promise, not just lust. This one told me everything I needed to know. This one told me that he cared.
"Come on, lets go home," he whispered against my lips as he grabbed my hand giving it a gentle squeeze. I stood still as he tried to pull me with him.
"Rog, what does this mean?"
"I don't know, one day at a time?"
"I can do that." I nodded and followed him.
Author: Kristen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own Don't sue...mark and Roger belong to Jonathan Larson and whoever has control of his estate
Feedback: Any and all is welcome...no flames though
Authors Note: This is my first attempt at Mark/Roger and only second attempt at M/M slash in general, so please be gentle!
************************************************************************
He slammed me up hard against the wall, his body pressed unbelievably close. His breath hot against my face. How do you breathe? For a moment I can no longer remember. His eyes a mixture of anger and lust and his lips just a hairs breath away. I want to close the small gap, but I'm to frightened and too lost in him to do anything but stand there trapped between his strong, hard body.
He grinds his hips into mine pinning me flat against the wall now and I groan despite myself. I wanted this, I wanted him. Then he does it, he does what I've wanted him to do for months. He kisses me. Hard and bruising his tongue forcing it's way inside my mouth. I'm shocked at first, but kiss him back just as hard. I try to move my arms to wrap around his neck, I want him closer, but he's got a tight grasp of my wrists. This went on for several delicious minutes before he pulled back, looking almost horrified at what he had just done. I stayed still flat against the wall panting as he released his death grip on my wrists.
"I'm sorry, Mark," he whispered stepping backwards.
"You have nothing to be sorry about." I smile and reach out to grab his hand, but he jerks it away. I can't keep the hurt from my eyes.
"This," he indicated between us, "can never happen."
"What do you mean, it just did. There is no going back. You can't take it back." I could feel the tears forming and I tried to blink them back. I wouldn't cry in front of him.
"I'm not like you, Mark. I'm not gay." My mouth dropped open and looked away.
"I'm not." My voice was so small and full of pain and hurt. It was true, I wasn't, not really. Just because I lusted after my best friend doesn't make me gay, right? He's the only guy I've ever had these feelings for and I don't think any other guy could do what a smile from him does or what that seering kiss just did.
"Mark, you don't have to hide it from me. I know you too well."
"Do you?"
Roger just nodded.
"Then you know that I love you." There I had said it, I didn't want it to come out like that, but there was no taking it back now.
Roger blinked and looked at me. "I-I love you too?" he said unsure.
"I don't mean friendship love. I mean the every time I see you I want to kiss you and hold you type love. The love that makes me weak inside when you smile and I ache when you're hand accidentally brushes mine. That's the love I'm talking about, you know the kind of love you don't feel for me." I played with my scarf nervously, not wanting to look at him right then. I couldn't take the rejection I was sure to see, so it came as quite a shock when his hand cupped my chin and lifted my eyes to meet his. He was smiling, actually smiling and that caused a slight smile to form on my lips as well. He leaned in giving me a slow and gentle kiss. It was nothing more than a mere brush of his lips against mine, but somehow it was better than the kiss we had just shared. This one held promise, not just lust. This one told me everything I needed to know. This one told me that he cared.
"Come on, lets go home," he whispered against my lips as he grabbed my hand giving it a gentle squeeze. I stood still as he tried to pull me with him.
"Rog, what does this mean?"
"I don't know, one day at a time?"
"I can do that." I nodded and followed him.