ETHAN'S DADDY
After her latest greatest trying time with Frank, Aila went back to her office. She immediately took note of how Frank's agent watched her. She wanted to tell the girl that all was as fine as frog's hair. But that was a lie. Oh well. Too late to whine now. She wondered why the ball hadn't dropped at work yet. Thus far, they hadn't said word one to her. Was Frank's team keeping her fanny out of the fire? She had every intention of resigning her position, but in the end decided it was more selfish than self-less. Her stupidity had hurt Frank once and despite her thinking him a bastard, he didn't deserve to be hurt again. Besides, she had held him away from his son for three years. Instead of following through with her plan, she radioed Beck, filled out a leave form, and hauled ass toward home. She had to get her shit together to face Frank tonight.
When she arrived home, Lila was sitting on the living room sofa reading a book. Ethan was down at her feet snoozing on the carpeted floor. She ignored her sitter for a moment and kneeled down beside her son. His face was still hot. Good Lord, she hoped that whatever this was would go away. Poor kid was going to be put through hell as it stood. "Has he been sleeping long," Aila asked.
Lila looked up from her book. "A little more than an hour. The medicine doc gave him knocked him out, I think. Poor little guy. He saw a man at the drug store and called him 'Daddy.'"
That's where he saw Frank. Explains a lot. "That man was Ethan's father," Aila said blandly. Hell, might as well spill the beans. By nightfall, it would be all over town anyway. She didn't meet Lila's gaze, but knew the older woman was about to burst for more information regarding this strange swarthy man. "He's coming tonight to see Ethan. Lila, I know you're dying to know more, but right now, I don't have the patience to talk about him. I hope that's okay."
Lila was disappointed, but she wouldn't say so. She was a busybody, but she genuinely liked the sheriff, regardless of what Sybil said about her. "Of course, Sheriff. It's fine. Do you need me to hang around tonight to run interference if you and he decide to…"
Aila cut her off. "No, Lila. He's not coming here to see me. He wants to see his son. Nothing more."
* * *
Normally when Ethan was sick, he wanted to be left alone. However, tonight, he hung onto his mother for dear life. The doorbell rang promptly at seven. Aila had spoken to Frank earlier and had given him directions to her house […or my house for as long as I have my job, that is…] and asked him to be here by seven. Ethan's normal bedtime was right around eight, but he was fussy and sick. In fact, he hung onto her even as she approached the door. There was no way to prepare Ethan for this meeting. She hated springing it on the kid, but there was little she could do about it. She opened the door to the bastard in waiting and cursed herself for thinking immediately that he looked quite hot in form fitting blue jeans and a white button down tucked in neatly. Frank did his own unconscious once over. Gone was the ill-fitting uniform with its bulky handgun and belt. She was smartly dressed in black denims and an emerald green pullover sweater. She was absolutely delicious, and he found himself longing to taste her again.
Up until Aila answered the door, Ethan wasn't paying attention. However the moment he noticed another human being within close vicinity, he raised his head and peered at Frank curiously. On automatic, she moved aside so Frank could enter the living room. All the while, Ethan clung to her and goggled up at his father. Frank couldn't help but gaze at the boy in wonder. There were a few physical similarities between him and Ethan. He again thought of Darien at three and he could see some of her in the boy as well. He was beautiful and he longed to hold the boy in his arms. Yet, the child remained aloof and extremely watchful. The scene in the drug store had perhaps hurt his feelings. He saw fear, wonder, and curiosity in Ethan's eyes. There was so much going on and goddamned if he wasn't about to cry his eyes out. This was too damn much and he once again found easy hatred coursing through his veins. He shouldn't be meeting his son in such a fashion. He should have known the boy all his life.
"Mommy," Ethan whispered against her neck. "Who dat?"
"He's your daddy, Ethan," she explained.
"No," he whispered again. "Lila said he not."
"Lila was wrong, baby. He's your daddy," she explained again. "He came a long way to see you."
"Mommy," he whispered urgently. "Ethan's 'cared."
It was absolutely killing Frank as he listened to the conversation being played out before him. His own son was afraid of him. How could he make up any time if the boy wouldn't give him the time of day? Once again, he felt a fresh surge of anger develop in the pit of his stomach where it spread and festered. He glared at Aila. This was her fault. Everything. All of it. Swallowing another huge lump in his throat, Frank said, "Don't force him. It's okay. I can come back."
"No, it's fine," Aila said. "He's like you. Standoffish. Give him a minute."
She carried Ethan to the couch and sat down. Although she hadn't indicated that he should sit, he chose a nearby lounge chair. Ethan's wide blue eyes were still fixed on him. He was chewing nervously on his index finger. Aila. He had seen her do that on more than one occasion when something big was going down. When he noticed that someone was watching him, he stopped chewing, but never took his eyes off Frank's face. For hours now, he had been clinging to his mother desperately, as if he would never see her again. Now, he took matters into his own hands. Carefully, he climbed out of Aila's lap. For a moment, he glanced between his parents to see if they were watching. Of course they were. His mother kept her eyes trained on him all the time. And now, his father was doing it as well. Ethan eventually found himself down on the carpeted floor. Before he moved any closer to Frank, he sat down and began plucking through the carpet. He wasn't looking for anything in particular, just killing time. After several moments of plucking through the carpet, he brought himself up clumsily to his feet. The fever he'd had all day had messed up his balance. He noticed that Frank was still watching him cautiously, carefully. His mother was as well. He stepped over his mother's feet and walked around behind the couch. The chair where his father was seated was close to the couch. He picked his way behind the couch, poking the fabric for good measure. He climbed into the small space between the couch and chair, avoiding hitting his father's shoe. He climbed over Frank's feet and went in behind the chair. Before he met the small space again, he turned around and went the other way. Eventually, he was standing before his father. He chewed on his index finger again before putting both of his hands on his hips. He looked up at the tall man he had seen in the store. He was the one Lila said wasn't his daddy. After a moment, he approached the chair, moving in a little closer, giving himself room if the man decided to say something that would scare him. He propped his elbow onto a slice of empty space between the arm of the chair and Frank's leg. He then glanced up at the man again.
While this scene played out, Aila sat amazed. All day long, Ethan clung to her, making sure that she knew how miserable he was. All it took to break him out of this was a visit from his father. For a moment, Aila was jealous. Frank had the same ability with Darien. All he had to do was speak or say something to the girl and she was doing everything in her power to please him. What was it about this man? Damn him. He commanded respect and got it without any fuss or muss. It didn't seem fair sometimes. When Ethan was cranky or showing out, it sometimes took sheer iron will to get him to settle down. It was weird, but Frank had that going for him in a big way. She never did. She was lucky to have managed to raise him this long without doing some horrible undue damage.
"You Ethan's daddy," he suddenly asked with the air of a child who truly knew what the answer to his question was going to be before it was answered. [Behind him, Aila shook her head and mouthed: Frank.]
Goddamn lumps in my throat, he thought as he swallowed hard again. "Yes, I am. My name is Frank."
He cocked his head to the side. "Fwank," he said as he nervously poked at the chair. "Can Ethan call you Daddy?"
Aila couldn't handle it anymore. She had to get out of that room. She didn't stay behind to listen to Frank's answer. Instead, she took off into the kitchen and poured herself a tall glass of water. She killed it and slammed the glass down on the counter. She preferred something stronger, but she didn't drink like she used to before Ethan came. She hadn't wanted to watch that scene play out because the shit that had gone down was all her fault. If she had told Frank three years ago, none of this would be happening. She couldn't guarantee that the relationship would have lasted, but at least he would have known about his son so much sooner. She wanted to give Frank this time with Ethan, but she also wanted to be there. Her little boy had been sick all day and he needed her. Yet, as soon as he saw Frank, he seemed to cheer up a little. He's not just your little boy anymore. He's not this wonderful little secret you hid for three years. Both of them are now aware of the other. God, she truly hated herself. She hadn't had the guts to call her mother and tell her about Frank finding out. It would come in due time, she was sure. She had no idea what would happen in the future. Perhaps allowing Ethan to know his dad was a good thing other than the obvious reasons. She was being framed for embezzlement and nothing was worse than that. If she went to prison, Ethan would have somewhere to go…if Frank wanted him. Of course he wants him. If he didn't, would he bother? She had to make plans for her son. Neither of her parents could raise a child as small as Ethan. Frank would raise their son. As angry as she was with him, she would break that long enough to talk to him, to make sure he understood Ethan would need a home if anything should happen to her.
Aila remained in the kitchen until the hour of eight. She slammed down another glass of water before reentering the living room. She was just in time to see Frank with Ethan in his arms. He had evidentially been on his way to put him down on the couch. Without a word, she motioned for him to follow her. When they entered Ethan's bedroom, she saw Frank glance curiously at the photo of himself before he put Ethan down in his bed. He leaned down and placed a kiss on the boy's slightly fevered forehead. She backed out of the room and gave him a few minutes of privacy. He joined her out in the living room a few minutes later. He sat back down in the lounge chair.
"You've shown him pictures of me," he asked stupidly.
She sighed and nodded. "No shit, Frank. I wanted him to know what you looked like. Despite how you found out about him, I was going to tell you and I wanted to ensure that he knew as much about you as he could understand. I think I've told you that already."
"He's beautiful, Aila. Inside and out. You've done a wonderful job raising him," he told her, shoving aside his anger for now.
"Listen, Frank, there's something I think we should talk about." She waited a moment before she spoke. He watched her cautiously, readying for just about anything. She wasn't sure how she could go about this, but simply spitting it out and letting it go was the best way. "I'm not sure what's going to happen to me. I know an embezzlement charge is a big deal. I have no way to prove that I didn't do anything wrong. All I have is my own set of books. Depending on which judge we get, that could be suspicious as hell by itself. I think I'm going to wind up in prison and I want to make sure you will…you can…take care of our son."
In disbelief, he gawped toward her. "Aila, what the hell are you saying?"
She met his stunned gaze. "You heard what I said. I'm going to prison, Frank, and somebody needs to take care of Ethan. My mother can't. She has to take care of my dad. There are no other family members within spitting distance who will give my boy the home he deserves. You're a good father, Frank, and I can already see that you love Ethan. Promise me you'll take him and take care of him."
As angry as he was with her for denying him as she did, he couldn't ignore the desperate edge of her voice. Although there were no tears in her eyes, she was close to flat out bawling. It wouldn't take long. He left the safety of the lounge chair and sat beside her on the couch. The palms of her hands were pressed against her temples and her elbows were resting on her knees. She wasn't receptive and didn't give a fuck. Gently, he took hold of one of her arms and drew it away from her face. "Aila, please. Listen to me."
Reluctantly, she moved so she could look him in the eye. She didn't want his touch burning her. And right now, it was. "Frank, please…yourself. I know what I'm talking about here. Any day now, they're going to fire me, and then no telling when, I'll be arrested. I can't run or hide from this. I'm in an inescapable trap. You don't have to lie or mollycoddle me. I know what I'm talking about and so do you."
"Aila, I know nothing of the sort. What did I tell you the other day? Remember? I believe you. This is not something Aila Blane would do no matter how desperate she is. I'm not letting you go down for something you didn't do. Do you understand? I won't."
"Frank, for God's sake. Can you play 'What If?' Can you? What if it happens no matter how hard you try? I know you can produce miracles. In fact, two of them are probably sleeping as I say this, but maybe, just maybe, you won't be able to keep my ass out of the fire. If you can't do it, promise me, Frank. Promise that you'll take Ethan home with you. I'll do whatever you want with regard to him. Paternity test. Paternity acknowledgment. Anything. Tell me what you want, and I'll do it. Just promise me you'll take him if anything happens."
Instinctively, he reached out and caught a tear with his thumb. He didn't realize he was touching her cheek. He was on automatic himself tonight. Everything seemed…natural. "Nothing of the sort is going to happen to you. I know you expect the worst to happen. I'll do whatever I can to help you and to keep you from going to jail. But if you insist, I'll make that promise. I'll take care of Ethan if anything happens to you. I swear. He's my son and I'll do whatever it takes. I vow it to you."
Whoa. What's happening here? The feel of Frank's hand on her cheek was so gentle and warm. Her hand rose up of its own accord and landed on top of his. She turned in to his touch and reveled in it. He had the best hands. They were almost better than his lips. Before she knew what was happening, his mouth claimed hers, and a moment later, she was parting her lips to accept his probing tongue. What was this? Didn't they hate each other now? Oh God. She didn't hate him. She had never hated him, even when he uttered the most hurtful of words to her. She couldn't hate him. Damn her soul to hell, but she loved him still. She was so very close to telling him how she felt, but she realized that he didn't love her anymore. This was a desperate lust thing, just like the other night. He didn't love her because she didn't deserve to be loved by him any longer, especially after what she had hidden from him. Oh, but it was so hard to let him go.
She broke the kiss and pushed him away. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.
He sat back as if shocked and gazed at her. "No more than I am," he snapped hurtfully. "I think I should go."
"I think you should, too," she said. "You can come see Ethan any time you want. He has a sitter during most of the day while I'm at work. I'll try not to be here."
"Fine," he snapped again.
Without a word, he stood and left her. She shook her head and touched her lips. What the hell did they think they were doing? Would a roll in the hay fix things at all? Hell no. Why was he so angry? She didn't understand. He should have found dark amusement in his ability to still seduce her even when she thought he was a flaming bastard. However, he wasn't. He was hurt. Good going. I did it again. She hurt him because he still wanted her? How could that be? He had found no enjoyment in her since he found out about Ethan? He didn't want her. She had inserted that little fantasy into her own mind. He loathed her. He wanted nothing to do with her. Goddamn goddamn. Why was this all so fucked up?
* * *
Frank climbed in behind the wheel of his rented SUV. He slammed both fists into the steering wheel at the same time. It hurt like fuck, but he wasn't quite paying attention to it. How the hell could he let himself lose control like that? How the hell could he let her control it by denying him? He was disgusted with himself, her, and everything else. The only good thing about tonight was his son. He had only spent an hour with the boy, but he was already head over heels in love with him. The kid had just enough of the both of them to make an interesting person. Despite the shit, despite hell, he still loved Aila Blane. It was the only reason he had acted the way he did. Why couldn't he tell her? Was his male pride so wounded that he couldn't see what was right in front of his face? Goddamn her. She had lied to him about his child. However, that still didn't drive the love out of his heart. Why couldn't he listen to Terra and just ax the whole hate thing and tell her how he felt? It was simple. She didn't love him anymore. If she did, she wouldn't have denied him like that. It was the only explanation. Did she simply pull his strings when she was talking about Ethan? Was she? Would she do that? Aila had been a tease in her day, but nothing like this. She wasn't manipulative like a lot of other women he'd dated. Goddamn her again. He turned the key in the ignition, brought the SUV to life, and then peeled out of her driveway. Fuck it. Hopefully after a long night's sleep, things would make better sense.
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To be continued…