Authors Notes: This is a little humor fic that was done by two people at around two in the morning, so that's probably why it's a little screwed up, heh heh. We were talking on AIM, the convo just became funny, insane, and weird, but mostly funny, so we decided to make it into a fic. The two people who made this would be myself (Sky) of course, and LewsTherinInsanity, (Crazy). Sky and Crazy are only our nicknames. We basically used some of the characters from Kingdom Hearts, plus ourselves, and two of Crazy's alter egos, which is probably why it's so screwed up, lol. And then there's Bob the cannibal but I don't know where the hell he came from. Due to the fact that most of this was originally a convo, it may start and end weirdly, but who cares. To understand some things in this story, like the Preparation H incident and the beer, you'd have to read this one humor fic that isn't posted yet, but in the making. And you'd only get the thing about Tetra if you read my fic called Found But Still Lost. OK then, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts. Sora's tied up behind me but sadly I don't own him...yet, mwahahaha! OK just kidding. We only own the disturbing plot (if there was one*Snicker*) and ourselves, plus Nekri, Keirlin, and Bob. Got it? Ok, on with it now!

*******************************************************************************************************************************

It starts out Sky, Crazy, Sora, Nekri, and Keirlin are sitting around bored as hell.

Sky: "Sooooo...what do you guys wanna do?"

Crazy: *Sarcastically* "Go as insane as Nekri is all the time..."

Nekri: "Who's insane? I'M INSANE!!!"

Sora: "Yes now shut the hell up."

Nekri: "Rrrrr." *Pounces on Sora and begins to bite his hair*

Keirlin: "Not again."

Sora: "You are aware the gel in my hair is toxic right?"

Nekri: "Oh so that's why I feel so light-headed..."

Sora: "Dumbass."

Sky: *Snickers*

Keirlin: "Try not to make him go unconcious, then I'll go insane, remember?"

Sky: "Right"

Sora: "It was his fault."

Nekri: *Begins to stumble about and mutter* "Where's my puppy...?

Keirlin: "Where did you get a puppy?"

Nekri: *Is no longer high on Sora's hair gel* "Where's Riku? I wanna make him insecure."

Sora: "Yeah, I havta pay him back for the Preparation H incident. *Evil grin* (Preparation H incident is another story, I'll tell you later)

Riku: "What was that, Sora?! *Grins and has Sora in a headlock.*

Nekri: "That was quite amusing... Hey Sora...want some beer? *Snickers*

Sora: *As he struggles to get out of Riku's grasp* "Shut the hell up! You don't even know anything about that incident."

Nekri: "Wanna bet 500 dollars?"

Sora: "I don't have 55 dollars dumbass."

Keirlin: "Hey everyone! Meet my friend, Bob the Inconnu......He's a cannibal by the way."

Bob: "I'm hungry."

Sora: "Damn it."

Riku: "Hey, Bob, they're havin people for free at the Piggly Wiggly a thousand miles away from here."

Bob: "Right.....You're an idiot ya know that?"

Riku: "Damn, you're smarter than I thought."

Bob: "They have a shoe sale going on there though."

Riku: *Stares* "I'm smarter than you think dumbass..."

Bob: "Suuuurrrrreee..."

Sora: "Really now..."

Riku: "Shut up, Sora."

Bob: "Well you might be, right now I'm thinking you have just enough IQ points to let you breath."

Riku: "And you only have enough to piss yourself."

Bob: "Snappy comeback from someone who still wets the bed."

Riku: "That's Sora remember."

Sora: "Riku!!!....Hey where'd Sky go? I wanna dance with her. *Snickers*

Sky: "Oh God..." *Hides in corner*

Sora: "Sky where are you?!"

Bob: "Sora, she's over in the corner."

Sora: "There you are!" *Picks up Sky and dances badly with her.*

Sky: "Damn you, Bob."

Keirlin: "Have you no respect, Bob?"

Nekri: "Mmmm....bacon..."

Riku: *Stares at Nekri strangely* "Riiiight..."

Bob: "Hey, Riku, want some DSL cake?"

Riku: "What the hell?"

Bob: *Whispering to Sky* It's actually cake laced with LSD, but he doesn't need to know that."

Riku: "No I'm fine, but I think Nekri wants some."

Nekri: "Bacon..."

Sky: "Man, Riku, I wish you WERE dumb enough to eat it. I need a good laugh..."

Bob: "Hey, Riku....You still like Kairi, right?"

Riku: "Hell no, I wouldn't like that demonic giggling battery operated Barbie if you paid me."

Keirlin: "Let's pretend you didn't say that." *Snickers*

Riku: "What the hell are you thinking?"

Kairi: "HI EVERYONE!"

Keirlin: "Heh heh."

Sora: "NOOO! NOT INSANE GIGGLING CHICK OF DOOM!" *Hides behind Sky.*

Riku: "WTF how'd she get here?! God help me..."

Bob: "Kairi, why don't you go...talk...with Riku." *Snickers*

Nekri: "I laugh at Riku..."

Riku: "No! Damn it, Bob, I'll kill you."

Kairi: "Hey Riku!"

Riku: "Riku's not here. He's somewhere else, like, Wal-Mart, or somethin...So go there."

Kairi: "I know you're there silly." *Goes over and plays with Riku's hair.*

Riku: "Get the fuck away from me demon child who giggles annoyingly!!!"

Keirlin: "Hee hee."

Kairi: "Aww I know you don't mean it." *Begins giggling uncontrollably*

Riku: *Lying* "Ya know this isn't Riku, Kairi."

Kairi: "Huh...?"

Riku: "Yeah, this is really, Ansem, yeah. He posessed my body... again."

Kairi: *Will believe even the stupidest lie* "NOOO!!! NOT MY RIKUUUU!!!

Riku: "Sora, help me!"

Sora: "I'm not goin near her!" *Stills hides behind Sky*

Kairi: "Oh well...At least there's still Sora." *Walks over to Sora and begins to play with his hair.*

Sora: "No damn it!!!"

Sky: *Glares at Kairi* "Uhh, Kairi, Riku's lying. SO GO PLAY WITH HIS HAIR!"

Kairi: "Ok." *Goes back to Riku and plays with his hair.*

Riku: "Damn..."

Sora: *Hugs Sky.* THANK YOU, SKY!"

Sky: *Smiles* No problem."

Bob: "I'm hungry...Silver-haired idiots taste good....RIKU! C'MERE!"

Riku: "No damn it, get the hell away from me!!!"

Bob: *Takes out fork and knife and advances on Riku.*

Riku: *Runs like hell.* "Keep away from me or else damn it!"

Bob: "Ya wanna piece of me? I WANNA PIECE OF YOU!" *Chases Riku*

Kairi: *Stares at the ground like an idiot.*

Riku: "NOW will you help me, Sora?!"

Sora: *Snickers* "No."

Riku: "Sky?!"

Sky: "Sorry, this is too entertaining."

Keirlin: *Casts Haste on Bob and Slow on Riku.* "Heee heee."

Riku: "Damn you, Keirlin!!!" *Runs slower*

Keirlin: "Magic is the best."

Sky: "I know."

Bob: *Catches up to Riku and begins munching on his hand.*

Kairi: *Continues to stare at the ground.*

Riku: "Ow!" *Summons Keyblade and knocks Bob off.*

Bob: *Fights Riku with his fork and knife.*

Riku: *Fights, then runs.*

Keirlin: *Casts Stop on Riku.*

Riku: "DAMN YOU KEIRLIN!"

Nekri: "Bacon..."

Sky: "Shut up, Nekri."

Bob: *Resumes munching on Riku's hand.*

Riku: "Damn it, why do I bother...?"

Kairi: *Stops looking at the ground and stares at the sky.*

Bob: "Mmmm...tasty."

*Tetra Runoso from my fic called Found But Still Lost suddenly appears outta nowhere.*

Tetra: "Get away from him dumbass!!!" *Beats Bob off with a stick.*

Bob: "Nooo!!! Not her!! *Runs like a scared rabbit.*

Tetra: "Ha! Run cannibal boy run!!!

Keirlin: *Casts Stop on Bob.*

Bob: "NOOO!!!"

Tetra: *Remembers Riku.* "You ok, Riku?!"

Riku: "A little traumitized but yeah I'm fine. *Hugs Tetra.* "Thank you!!!"

Tetra: *Hugs back* "No problem! Bye, gotta go now." *Riku says bye and she disappears.*

Kairi: *Stares at sky.*

Nekri: "Is Kairi stupid?"

Sky: "No she's just special."

Kairi: *Begins drooling*

Sky: *Stares* "REALLY special..."

Bob: "Help me...I'm still stopped."

Sora: "Good."

Keirlin: "Shut up, Bob."

Kairi: *Walks over and pokes Bob.*

Riku: *Snickers* "Ya know, kairi, Bob told me he really likes you."

Kairi: "REALLY?!?!?! HI BOB!!!

Crazy: "That was just mean."

Riku: "Wasn't it though...*Snickers*...like I care..."

Kairi: *Starts playing with Bob's hair*

Bob: "Help me, for the love of God help me."

Sora, Sky, and Riku: *Snicker* "No."

Bob: "I can't move..."

Riku and Sora: "Good!"

Keirlin: "Ah this is funny."

Sky: "I agree."

Nekri: "Hey, Kairi, Bob said he wants to kiss you." *Grins malevolently.*

Bob: "No...God no..."

Sora, Sky, and Riku: *Snicker*

Kairi: "Really??? YAAAAYYYY!" *Starts kissing Bob.*

Bob: "If there was any mercy in you you'd help me..."

Sky: *Looks for mercy in herself towards Bob.* "Nope, nuthin."

Keirlin, Nekri, and Crazy: "No one here got any either."

Sora: "Glad it's not me..."

Riku: "Me too."

Keirlin: "I'm just glad we got front row seats."

Sora, Sky, and Riku: "Yep, heh heh."

Bob: *Horrified.* Damn it..."

One hour, thirteen minutes, and five and a half seconds later...

Sky: *Yawns.* "Well I'm goin home now. Bye! Come on, Sora."

Sora: "Seeya later!" *Follows Sky.*

Riku: "Not a bad idea. Think I'll go home myself." *Leaves*

Nekri, Keirlin, Crazy agree and go home themselves. Kairi is left there kissing a VERY traumitized Bob.

Several years later....Bob and Kairi are married and have six and a half Barbie cannibal babies who run on Duracel AA's. Kairi is very happy, and Bob is trying to commit suicide. Sora still lives with Sky for some odd reason, possibly due to the fact that his mother hates him and he's still scared of the closet in his room. Nekri now lives in what he calls, "Pretty white room with soft cushy walls and a mirror so I can stare at myself eating bacon. They gave me a pretty white jacket too. It's a little tight on my arms though." And who knows what the hell happened to Crazy and Keirlin. The end!!!~

******************************************************************************************************************************

Sky's Notes: Told you it was screwed up....But that's just the way me and Crazy are!!! *grins*