The OOC Adventures of Kisame and Itachi

Part I – Our Heroes Adventure Begins

Summary: Itachi and Kisame get a lame assignment to visit Orochimaru's Theme Park. So, they decide to make the most of it. Obviously, AU and extremely OOC. No real heavy spoilers, unless you have no clue who Kisame, Itachi, and Orochimaru are.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, do you think I would have to write this for my own amusement? No.

Asterisks indicate notation at the bottom. Italics indicate thoughts. Can you juggle that? Good.

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"Are we there yet?"

"No, Kisame."

"How about now?"

"No, Kisame."

"Now?"

"Listen. Shut up or I'm going to have to come back there." Itachi turned around and glared daggers at Kisame with his piercing red eyes.

Come back where?  Kisame thought, not understanding what the hell Itachi was talking about.* They had been walking for a good eight days since they passed that sign that said 'Nowhere, 200 miles,' and he just knew they had to be getting close. He could not help but be excited.

Eleven days ago they had been given temporary leave of their assignment to capture that fox brat and were given knew orders- to check out the new amusement park Orochimaru was building. As to why he would want to build an amusement park, who knows. Just stick to the story. In fact, Orochimaru had sent two VIP tickets to the Akatsuki because he knew even if he tried to stop them; they would want to investigate what Orochimaru was doing anyways.

Now, no one in the Akatsuki particularly liked Orochimaru. His tongue thing was considered creepy by even their standards. He bitched to the point you would swear he was a woman and constantly bleeding on the rag. And he was regarded as quite a gossip, though the back stabbing thing was not a problem because everyone in the Akatsuki backstabbed at least once every six months. Not to mention, you never wanted to see Orochimaru drunk, ever.

And so, our heroes (or villains, whichever you prefer), were given the responsibility of this assignment for two reasons. Reason Number One: Itachi never gave a damn about how unpleasant missions could get. Face it, the man was practically mechanical when it came to personal feelings and regarded them as weak. Reason Number Two: Kisame had the mental IQ of a twelve year old. Of coarse he would want to go to an amusement park! Think of all the damage he could inflict.

Therefore, Itachi was mentally cursing through out the whole trick at the thought of how many pixie sticks it took for Kisame to get as overactively hyper as he was acting. And god knows only what would happen when Itachi unleashed the terror on an amusement park of unsuspecting victims.

Who knows? Itachi thought as he considered how many problems they could lavish upon their former Akatsuki member and comrade. His lips twitched as they curled to a small smirk and he pulled his cloak over his mouth so Kisame could not see.

This might even be fun.

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* In case you haven't noticed, the Naruto world lacks cars. So, Kisame wouldn't understand.