The OOC Adventures of Kisame and Itachi

Part IV – And You Thought Getting Your Fly Caught Was Bad

Summary & Disclaimer: Why are you reading this if you haven't read the last chapter?

 Feh, anyways, I lied. I'm not done with all the stuff that I said I would get to in this chapter. It just became so long that I decided that I might as well post this tidbit, before working on the massive rap up.

*****

"Lemme get this straight. You are missing your son?"

"Yes."

"You said he is nearly seven feet tall, blue, bulky, with jagged teeth and gills on his throat?"

"That's correct."

 The clerk trembled being the Lost and Found desk near the entranced to the Main Square. Not only had he witnessed what had gone on only half an hour beforehand, but here he was, face to face with the person who was responsible for the crime. He was frantically pressing the button for security under the desk. Why didn't the guards come? Was the accident down at the petting zoo that bad?!

"Um…I-I'm sorry," The clerk stammered, pressing his glasses further up his nose. "We have not seen a boy like that today. Would you like us to call him over the loud speaker for you?"

Itachi tilted his head to the side, black bangs falling into his eyes. He glanced over in the direction of the castle, where there seemed to be a lot of commotion of tourists filing quickly away from the direction of the petting zoo. Parents were quickly pushing their children out through the exit, the children rubbing their eyes crying and screaming something about the twin giraffes, Twinkie and Banana.

"That is not necessary. I believe I found him." Itachi answered, before the giving a pull to what appeared to be a leash in his hand. "Come along, Napoleon."

Sakon made a choking noise as he was dragged along the pavement. Try as he may, the zipper was stuck and there was no escape. He sniffled from inside the helmet. Why me?

There was a yawning as the second head next to Sakon's woke up. Ukon's eyes opened and he blinked into the back of the oversized mascot helmet as he tried to stretch his limbs out of the body he and Sakon both shared, only to find that he was trapped in something not only hot and clingy, but to his horror, 100% polyester according to the tag.

 "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty." Sakon grumbled, being dragged on his stomach.

"What the fuck are we wearing!?" Ukon cursed, being the more angry and psychopathic head of Sakon's after all. He couldn't even manage to get his elbows out, much less see what was going on, and that only made things worse.

"Mascot outfit. You slept through all the board meetings." Sakon added a silent thank god, before cursing as Itachi dragged him up a curb and over a melted ice cream cone on his way to whatever hellish destination Itachi had in mind for our two headed captive. Damn, Sakon needed a Cigerette. He now would have to worry about the ice cream mingling with the gum that had managed to get inside somehow, his fate at the hands of this maniac, and Ukon's constant nagging.

"What board meetings?"

"For the theme park."

"Theme park?"

"Yes, to raise funds, supposedly."

"…Why?!"

"I don't know. Boss's orders."

" You sure it's for the funds? I mean…I smell children."

Sakon snorted. "Let's not bring Orochimaru-sama's…hobby up."

"I wouldn't mind slitting a few of those young throats though. I haven't been up in so long. Something must have gotten you nervous to let me wake up."

 "Shut up."

Ukon struggled, still trying to get out and stretch. "It's no fair. You always get the arm holes, you fucking prick!"

"Let's see…it's because it's my body and I was nice enough to let Orochimaru perform his hellish experiments on me to let you share it. So, sod off!"

The two heads of Sakon turned as best as they could to glare at each other.

The rest of the way to the petting zoo was a battle for supremacy that gave a whole new definition of "fighting amoungt yourself" that not even Naruto with Kage Bushin could compare to.

*****

A big thank you to my reviewers. I honestly wasn't expecting many reviews for the previous chapters. (Probably the first non semi-sarcastic thing I have put in the disclaimer thus far.)