Diaper Training
Author: LittleTrixta
Author: O-kay. Here's part two. Haha.
Nuff said! ^_^
(To Dragoness: Hah. ::smiles sheepishly:: You know, I honestly didn't notice the whole tooth thing until you mentioned something. Shows how good of a self checker I am . .
Weeeelll. . .for the sake of the story, let's just say the stress of Ash's sudden responsibilities have caused him to have double vision. THERE! Problem solved. Eh. o.O)
Diaper Training: Part Two - "Oh, To Have Peas On Earth"
Maybe it was the overwhelming aroma of pee that filled the living room . . .
. . . maybe it was the lovely green puke stains that covered her shirt . . .
. . .Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that she had been left with diaper
changing duties while Ash calmly excused himself to the bathroom,
. . . or to feed the Pokemon,
. . . or to mow the lawn.
But whatever the reason, Misty was just about sure that the cute baby she had seen in the grocery store was now a screaming, crying, peeing beastie that she'd been suckered into looking after while Ash lazed himself around the house, completely ignoring his obligations as godfather. And if he didn't start helping her out,. . . she would kill him. If not paralyze certain body organs for a couple days.
"Ash!", Misty who decided she had had enough stood in front of the television Ash had been staring at for the past half hour with the baby in one arm, and her mallet in the other. "You've barely done anything since I got here! Are you going to help out, or am I going to have to make you!!" Misty waved the mallet around exercising her wrist motion for any upcoming need to start hammering.
"Hey! You're blocking the TV!"
"That's sort of the point I'm trying to make here Ash! All you've done was stare at this thing!"
"Hey, I helped." Ash answered while idly sipping at the edge of his soda can and trying to focus more on the battle happening on his television and less on the thick wooden mallet swinging warningly beside Misty.
"HOW exactly?"
"I . . ." Ash said stopping to think of something he might've done that was remotely helpful. Naturally, he failed, but decided that he would much rather think less about something he could've done, and focus his attention more on the television and the roasted peanuts Pikachu had provided as a pre-match snack.
Misty's face turned red, and not in the way that Ash usually laughed at her for when she accidentally ate something with peppers in it, or when they watched something romantic that she usually had to force him to sit down for.
"You think I LIKE having mashed pees and carrots regurgitated onto me?"
"Uh. . ." Ash didn't know whether or not she was really asking him or if she was just being sarcastic.
"Ash! I don't HAVE to do this you know! I said I'd help you, not take on the full responsibilities of the job! You're the one who came to ME remember? I can leave if you-
"NO!" The word "leave" struck a cord in Ash and he immediately jumped up from his stationary position flinging himself at Misty's feet. "Don't leave!! Please! I'll help, I promise."
"Oh, yea? How do I know your not just going to make me do everything again, huh? How do I know your not just going to make excuses again? "
Ash thought this over for a moment. Which was pretty much a switch from his normal doings, seeing as how he hardly ever thought that much about what he was going to say before he actually said them to Misty. And that was probably why their arguments usually finished with him being covered in bruises in places which required more healing time then others, and Misty not speaking to him for at least a week after they'd forgotten about the argument entirely.
After a few more moments of worthless thinking Ash came to the conclusion that he should give Misty the answer that he knew she wasn't exactly looking for, but the one that he currently had swimming around in his brain for the time being.
"Because . . . I won't?" Ash answered while twiddling his fingers and trying to ignore her unapproving glare.
Ash eyed Misty's mallet, and noticed that it would raise a few inches with every answer he was giving. This was really unsettling since the whole kitchen-burning incident was supposed to be one of his best attempts at fixing whatever he has screwed up doing in the first place. And he was really starting to run out of ideas to prevent Misty from making the Hospital his permanent home.
Maybe if he just reminded her that he was really just a sad man who grew up as an only child and was never given the pure opportunity to learn the wonders that came along with helping to raise a baby.
Seem deprived but determined, deprived but determined...Ash thought.
"Look, the reason I'm not doing much is because I don't know what to do. I never took care of a baby before, unless you count my Pokemon, but they usually don't pee or throw up directly on me, so I don't know if that counts. Just tell me what I have to do and I'll do it." Misty's expression was unfazed. This suggestion was just a little too ...how should she put it....load of crap-ol-ish?
To hell with remorseful, it was time to beg.
"I promise I'll help this time! Honest! Just don't leave me alone with it!!!" Ash pleaded tears of desperation forming at the corners of is eyes.
"Okay, I know I'm going to regret this, but fine. Just stop hovering will you! " She gave in, huffing at the pitiful form hunched on his knees. "But If you leave me doing all the dirty work again, I'm gone!"
Ash nodded, and Misty handed him the baby before instructing him to follow her to the kitchen. Which, according to the baby, was the perfect time to spit up and Ash found another reason to add to his list of why he was NOT going to have kids anytime soon.
"Okay, an important thing to remember when it comes to taking care of babies, is to FEED it. Because if you forget to do that, Jacob's parent's will probably hammer you into the ground when you hand back to them their starved and wrinkled child."
"Ah, got it." Ash replied before moving to his refrigerator and returning with an 8 pound slab of pork.
Misty eyed him curiously before sighing in frustration as realization hit her that feeding a baby something twice it's size was just a normal thing from Ash's perspective.
"Ash," She really didn't have the patience or energy to start screaming for explanations so she decided to stay calm and collective and give the guy the chance to explain himself before pummeling him into the kitchen floor. "What exactly are you planning to do with that?"
Ash dumped the pork into a pot full of boiling water and turned to his perplexed friend. "Isn't it obvious? It's for the baby. I have to cook it first, after all. You don't expect the baby to eat something frozen do you?"
Ash crossed his arms and leaned back against his kitchen counter, ego spreading over his face. "Geez, Mist. I'd figure you'd know that, being the girl and all. I'm starting to wonder who's giving the instructions 'here."
By now a slight twitch had grown in Misty's left eye and she was squeezing the life out of a small dish towel on Ash's counter top as an attempt to contain her pent up anger.
"Not, THAT you idiot. I'm talking about the pork. How do you expect to feed that to the baby?"
Ash sighed and reached into the back pocket of his jeans, "Simple. I only followed what the directions said. See here, it says "Mix contents with pork."
"What?" Misty found herself becoming more confused by the minute. She walked over to where Ash stood and snatched the piece of paper from him taking a better look at what Ash had been pointing at.
"Mix contents with. . ." Misty read over, squinting a bit as she inspected the paper until it were inches from her face.
Ash however, off to the side gloating till he was practically glowing with pride was content toward the fact that he had done something right for a change without Brock or Misty there to tell him first. Yep, Misty just could not grasp the reality that Ash quite possibly knew more about babies then she did. . . and she was the girl. . . Boy, would his Mother be proud. . .
"Ash!" Misty's sudden outburst snapped Ash back to reality. "This doesn't say "Mix contents with PORK."
"What?" But he had read it himself . . .
"Come here." Ash headed. "See that little speck right there?"
"Uh . . ." Ash looked to where Misty was pointing, and watched as she flicked a piece of dirt off of what he thought had been the letter 'P' revealing a very bold 'F' in it's place. After a few moments of recollecting the new information, Ash gave a very sound "Ohh. . ." and chuckled.
"Mix contents with-
"FORK. That's right." Misty finished before sighing in pure and utter frustration. "You know, from now on just ignore completely whatever the instructions tell you to do. I'll handle feeding it, you just um, don't do anything unless I tell you, alright?"
Ash quirked a brow. The last time Misty had this much control, Ash and Brock were suckered into a day of back breaking bag carrying, as all of the female population in Kanto were given the opportunity to shop to their hearts content in honor of Princess Day. And most of the male population was put into overnight resuscitation. But if it was going to be a benefit for the baby, it'd be a benefit for him. Sharing the honor of being peed on and spit up on with Misty was a whole lot better then having it all laid on just him.
So Ash nodded, as he felt like he'd been doing a whole lot of lately, and watched as Misty disposed of the half cooked meat to the trash compacter, and Pikachu and Togetec found themselves gutted with pure disappointment.
"Ash."
"Hm?"
"My arm hurts." Misty indicated nodding toward the six month old baby sleeping soundly against her right arm, clawing at her for comfort.
"Then switch it." Ash replied from the other end of the couch they had been sitting on for the past half hour.
"That's not going to make much of a difference." Misty narrowed her brows. Typical of Ash to make a task sound simpler then it actually was.
It had taken them three bottles of baby formula, two cans of baby food, three diapers, thirty-two baby wipes and an interesting rendition of Brahms' Lullaby (special thanks to Pikachu, Bulbasaur and Totodile) to get the child to fall asleep.
"Well, then what do you want me to do?"
"Just hold him for a minute." Misty said carefully handing the baby to Ash, in a way that wouldn't disturb it from its slumber.
Ash sighed heavily looking down at the little tike bundled in his arms. It was around six thirty and the day was nearly over, but something reminded him that he still had the entire night ahead of him, and he knew that within a matter of hours the baby would be up and kicking again, and Misty would have to leave. This started to scare Ash, as he thought back to earlier that day when the baby first came and he was all alone with it. The baby had managed to trash his entire apartment during one phone call with Brock. Sure it helped a little to have Misty show him what to do, but somehow it was a lot different to have her right there next to him making sure he did things right. What if the baby woke up and started crawling around while he was sleeping. What if it climbed into the trash compactor or... The possibilities began to fill Ash's brain and it started to be to much for him. He just couldn't let her go. Not ..yet anyway.
When Misty returned she gave a great yawn and plunked down on the couch beside him and the baby, completely oblivious to all the thoughts that had arisen in her absence. Ash glanced at her and then the baby and back.
"Misty?" Ash attempted to scratch his head with his free arm in order to hide the bead of sweat forming on the side of his face.
"Hm?" Misty answered absentmindedly staring at the television with her chin on the arm rest. Ash swallowed a knot in his throat and continued.
"You know how I said I wasn't that great with babies and all?"
"Distinctly." Misty replied dully.
"Well, I was thinking. . . or sorta hoping . . . since your already here . . ."
Misty stared at Ash wirily, partly from exhaustion, and partly from pre-empt suspicion. Whenever Ash wanted something from her he would always take forever to get to the point.
"Ash, what exactly are you getting at?"
Ash gulped. "I know I already asked you for a favor, and I know you didn't even have to say yes to that one, and I know I'm sort of running out of free favors from you especially since I set your kitchen on fire that one time-
Misty coughed slightly.
"But I really don't want to be left alone with it all night. So, I was wondering if you could stay over and help me out. It's just for tonight. His parent's are picking him up in the morning so. . . I mean, it wouldn't be that big of a deal right? It's not like we haven't slept-
"Wait!" Misty stopped him mid sentence. "Are you asking me to . . . sleep over?"
"Erm. . . no. Well, I wouldn't really call it a sleep over. More like an overnight inspection."
Misty coughed loudly this time.
"Are you serious?"
"I'm not asking you to sleep in the same room as me or nothing. Not that it'd matter anyway. We've done it before." Ash rubbed his nose.
"Ash! We were like twelve!" Ash shrugged. "Besides, your constant snoring was a lot bearable then Brock's incessant murmurs of various Joys."
"Right. And we still did it, so there shouldn't be any difference. Besides, we wouldn't be sleeping in the same room. I'll be in my room with the baby, and you'll be in the spare room in case we need you."
Ash looked at Misty with his big brown eyes and attempted to make his best pouty face.
"Ogh." Misty muttered. "I don't even have any spare clothes!!"
"You can borrow some of mine." Ash replied simply.
"Eh. Yea. Stuff that's probably been building mold in your hamper for the past three weeks."
Ash crinkled his brow. "Very funny."
Misty wasn't so sure about this. But to be honest, having the big spare room all to herself sounded a lot more appealing then taking on the stuffy, enclosed, practical closet of a room that her sister's dumped on her when she moved in with them. And like she said. . . It was all for the baby.
"For the baby!" Ash said holding Jacob up, proving strong his newfound technique.
"Alright." Ash's eyes lit up. "As long as we have an understanding that this is all for the benefit of the baby."
"Right." Ash grinned. "Thanks Mist!!! Your the best."
Misty sighed. "Yea, yea. I'm the best. Sure. But let's not forget, you owe me!!"
It would be great. Nothing could go wrong with Misty there to help him and he'd probably be defined as "Best Godfather" after this. Not to mention the fact that he'd be getting a good nights sleep with Misty tending to little Jacob.
Or, so he thought. ^_^
End Of Part 2
Ehhhh...I think it's obvious by now that I'm gonna make this a LITTLE more then a two-parter. I DUNNO. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling WRITE-EE. Why not.
Thanks to the re-viewers!!
I don't know where this is leading. . . but we'll see!
OH WHAT SHALL THE NIGHT-ETH BRING?!