If anyone is actually reading/understanding the madness that is my head then please, please review it,

I would like to know what you think; I mean should I sign my self up for a mental ward somewhere? They do give you free drugs after all, honestly I would like the input cause free drugs don't sound all that bad does it?

Disclaimers and warnings - I don't own any of the characters that you recognise, but if I did I would probably kill Sands cause he's a pain in the ass and won't stop swearing. Also he's been teaming up with Cat in her bid to make me crazy... their almost there

####################

Which brings me back to the present, and the reason that I'm standing outside a small dusty cantina in Mexico. Cash and Cat are with me as always although this time they are in physical form and out of my head (thank god). I pause briefly, smiling at the thought of the quiet in my head knowing that during our whole stay in Mexico, and in the Caribbean my head is going to be empty and I'll be free, my thoughts drift deeper to the fact that I am still technically in my head and therefore not alone but probably insane.

Frowning, I cut that crazy train of thought right off shaking my head a little to make sure that it's completely gone. Turning to Cat I say,
"Don't kill or maim anyone."

Instead of answering me she just gives one of her all purpose alligator grins which could mean anything from "Yes Linz, I understand you." to "I wonder what you would look like without any skin."

"I'm serious Cat, no fights; you are half of the reason that everyone got killed last time." Then turning to Cash, who's brooding behind Cat,

"Cash, we need him, if we don't get him then we can't get Buck back and then I'll go crazy and kill myself. You don't want that to happen do you?"

Cash, who had taken a huff when I told him who we needed, sighs dramatically and throws his arms up in defeat.

"Fine, Fine, you go and recruit the blind crazy man who with the help of our own resident crazy, nearly got us all killed last time. Ill baby-sit the little kitten here. You have fun now."

He puts his hand at the small of Cat's back and starts to direct her inside and towards the bar despite her threats of castration with a rusty fork . I follow them feeling slightly guilty; after all I was the one who fired first the last time.

As I enter the Cantina the first thing I notice is the place smells like stale beer, tequila, old blood and piss (or old piss and blood, I wouldn't really know). Cash and Cat are at the bar downing tequila. The song on the old radio propped up on the bar sounds suspiciously like "Forever Night Shade Mary" from the Desperado sound track.

I spot the man I'm looking for immediately.

Agent Sheldon Jeffery Sands is sitting in the corner of the shit-hole cantina with his dark glasses covering what I know to be two gaping holes in his face. In front of him is a half eaten plate of food, probably slow roasted pork and a tequila and lime, he's smoking one of those roll-up cigarettes that he favours, though god knows how he rolls them nowadays, probably gets some kid to do it.

He "looks" up when he hears walking towards him his right hand hovering dangerously close to his gun.

"Mind if I join you?," I ask while pulling up a chair and sitting down, not bothering to hear his answer knowing that it would be something like "fuck off".

But he just smirks that sexy little smirk that he knows has a bad effect on my insides... well he might not know it but I do.

"Sure, why not?...and no."

"No to what? I haven't asked for anything, yet," I stutter out just a bit unsure. I really need his help, not a good position to be in.

He smiles although this time it isn't sexy more a bearing of teeth, a warning.

"Yet... No, sugar butt, I want no part in whatever you have planed and in that respect I see no point in you being here so make like a little tree why don't you," looking to Cat and Cash who are at the bar oblivious to our conversation I say with a smile knowing he can hear in my voice.

"You don't see much of anything lately do you?"

Immediately regretting my words when I find myself looking down the barrel of his gun, baiting him was a bad Idea, who would have thought?

"Say that again" his words are no more than a hiss tempting me as he begins to squeeze down on the trigger, I opt not to repeat my last sentence but instead decide to try and sell my idea to him,

"Sands, I have a proposition for you, I want you to come with me to the seventeenth century Caribbean, to help me look for my blue, fluffy muse Buck, who could be any where in that time period. He's probably cold, wet and all alone waiting to be rescued," for the last sentence I make my voice small and full of pity hoping he'll help me.

"Or he could be lying on a beach drinking rum surrounded by whores." he counters with that smirk back on his face, damm him.

Okay think, but before I can think of anything he starts speaking again unable to keep the anger out of his voice.

"Why would you need me anyway I'm just a crazy, EX CIA agent, who can't fucking see and (waving the gun for emphasis) I'm about to shoot you." That's it I've had enough by now I snap, obviously being nice does nothing for him and something tells me that I'm more likely to catch this bee with vinegar that, and I'm royally pissed off.

"Look Sands, I don't have time to stroke your ego (he opens his mouth to say something, I hold my hand up) Don't even think about it, this has been a bad two weeks for me, okay? I don't have a whole lot of time here so this is it, in case you haven't noticed you are not the only, crazy one here. Without Buck, my only constant mental companions have been have been those two Fuckmooks over there at the bar so I'm slightly unhinged kay? Your gun bothers me not, cause I don't give a rats ass if you blow my brains out and leave me for dead in this shit hole, savvy?"

Letting him process the information but not letting him speak (which is a key element when dealing with Sands) I continue as he puts away the gun.

"Now, I need you because you can get into peoples heads, mess them up, tell me if they know anything. In other words I basically need you to headfuck a whole bunch of pirates. In return I'll give you your eyes back it's my story if I say that you can see then you can. Also our journey will start in Tortuga and we all know what is in Tortuga (whores, rum and gold). I'll even let you torture information out of people though you'll have to fight Cat for that one, so ex agent Sands do we have an accord?"

He just sits there quietly looking at me, well obviously not looking. Just when I think that he's not going to speak he smiles and says,

"I want one more thing, but I'll tell you when we get there, when do we leave?" he stands up and takes my hand. I signal to Cash and Cat they too stand,

"Right about, now"

Then that's it I'm sitting in front of my computer the only difference is I can feel Sands in my head squirming about. Wanting him out as soon as possible I start to type writing us into the story,

That night four strangers found themselves in Tortuga all of them could see and had eyes they had enough weapons on them to plunder a small village or take down an entire drug cartel (Sands will you please stop writing for me or I'll make you a eunuch) and they had enough money on them to buy a small or large boat not that they were going to they were after only one ship, The Black Pearl and information and revenge was what they were after.

Then it was done we were inside the story and I no longer had control over what would happen.

####

If anyone gets confused at any point e-mail me or review and I'll try to help but generally I'm just as confused my self.