Disclaimer: Inuyasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi. However, the story concept is entirely mine.
One moment he was minding his own damned business, plotting to do the world a favor and rid it of a Great Evil, the next he was surrounded by darkness, and sitting on something warm and soft, slime covering him. Why did bad things always seem to happen to him?
Jaken slammed his balled fist against one of the rather squishy walls, and was greeted by a rather unpleasant sound. Either he was hungry and didn't know it, or he was in for a very unpleasant experience.
Lord Sesshoumaru would rescue him shortly! He would never leave him in here to be slowly digested! Or would he? What if his Great Lord was so annoyed with him that he simply decided that him being eaten was for the best!? It would save him the energy and trouble of having to kill him himself.
Jaken prayed to whatever Gods that be that they would spare him this day. He was not ready to transpire to the Realm of the Dead. Never mind that he had just held the intentions of murdering a young and helpless child! She was just a human anyway! Surely the Gods wouldn't care about one less human roaming the planet.
The walls around him vibrated, as further down the tunnel-like passage a growl arose.
Jaken immediately clasped his hands in front of him, apologizing profusely to the Gods. If he made it out of this alive, he swore a solemn oath to never try to harm Rin again, and instead protect her to the best of his abilities.
The walls ceased their vibrating, the growl dying down to a soft rumble. Jaken wiped his forehead, relief plain on his face. That had been a close one! But he had apparently pleased the Gods. Now, for the getting free part.
But he didn't have to wait long for that, piercing light blinding him as he fell through space, only to land heavily on solid ground along with the carcass of the neatly cleaved snake demon. The wind was knocked from his small lungs, and his ribs were definitely broken now.
A pair of feet walked towards him, stopping directly in front of him. They simply stood there for a few moments, until one reached out and nudged him in the side. He let free a pitiful groan of pain.
"Ah, you are alive. Good. I would hate to lose my most loyal and helpful retainer," commented Sesshoumaru. That was as close to a compliment as he would ever come.
But it was enough to revive the toad demon to his senses. He all but leapt to his feet, albeit wincing slightly at the pain in his ribs, and threw himself at Sesshoumaru's feet, kissing them repeatedly.
"Oh, Merciful Lord. I knew you would come and rescue me!" Jaken paused to deliver a few more slobbery kisses before continuing on. "How happy you've made me! I never doubted you for a moment! I knew all along that you didn't mean those things you said before!" Jaken was near the point of crying.
Sesshoumaru held back a small smile, and instead nudged Jaken away from him with his feet. "Stop that, Jaken. You reek of the innards from that demon."
"That toad always reeks!" Hollered Inuyasha, a wide smirk on his face.
"Your brother?! What is he doing here, Lord Sesshoumaru?" Jaken asked frantically.
Sesshoumaru ignored Jaken, and instead turned to face Inuyasha fully. "Come to pay me a visit, dear half-brother? Or have you simply decided to finally hand over the Tetsusaiga to its rightful owner?" Sesshoumaru sneered in disgust at the half-breed.
"Never!" Inuyasha cried in outrage. "I've come for a piece of the Shikon Shard!" Inuyasha looked behind him. "Kagome, can you tell where it is?"
Jaken watched as the slender girl who traveled with the idiot half-demon walked up to stand beside Inuyasha. "Well, it was inside that snake demon, but since Sesshoumaru killed it... He has it now," she whispered, obviously afraid of what this meant.
Sesshoumaru turned his emotionless gaze on Kagome. "I see you still have this hideous human girl with you, Inuyasha. I wonder... Are you lovers?"
Jaken snickered quietly. He knew what his Lord was doing now. He was playing mind games. If he could get Inuyasha mad enough, he would lose himself to his demon blood and wouldn't be able to think clearly. Then, taking the Tetsusaiga from him would be like taking candy from a baby. Jaken knew, he'd done it before.
Inuyasha, as predicted, flew into a rage. "Shut the hell up and fight me, you bastard!" Yelled Inuyasha as he ran towards Sesshoumaru.
Jaken immediately got out of the way, knowing his place. He would be content to simply watch the fight from the sidelines. There was no doubt in his mind that Sesshoumaru would win. If he couldn't fight, he could cheer his Lord on though. "Go, Sesshoumaru! Rip his impotent head off!"
"Ick!" Cried Kagome. "You've gotten even uglier!"
Jaken spun around, raising his Staff of Heads up and casting fire out at her. She screeched, dodging to the side. "Hah! Stupid human! You should know better than to insult me!" Jaken began to laugh maniacally. "You should feel honored to be in the presence of his Greatness, Lord Sesshoumaru. It's only a matter of moments before he succeeds in tearing your lover to pieces."
"Shut up!" She said angrily, reaching out and jerking his cherished Staff out of his hands. "Inuyasha is not my lover!" Her face was beat red.
This was intolerable! How had she managed to so easily grab his weapon out of his hands?! She was just a lowly human! Jaken growled. "Give that back, wench!"
"You little toad! It's Kagome. Ka-go-me!"
"You little witch! I don't care! Give my Staff of He-- Ow!"
Jaken covered his head with his hands, Kagome having delivered a hard blow with his very own Staff. "You stupid girl, that's not how you use it!"
Apparently, that wasn't what she had wanted to hear. She began to mercilessly rain blows down upon little Jaken's head until he was lying on the ground, unmoving save for a few twitches here and there.
While this beating was taking place, Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha had finished their little fight. Of course, it was all thanks to Rin. Sesshoumaru didn't have the heart to kill his own brother in front of her innocent eyes. He somehow felt obligated to protect Rin from seeing such violence. Besides, he didn't need the worthless Shikon Shard. He was already a truly great and powerful demon. If his puny brother needed it so much, and judging from the fight he obviously did, then Sesshoumaru would not begrudge him the Shard.
Rin ran up to Sesshoumaru, stopping to stand beside him, eyeing Jaken on the ground while he got beat senseless by Kagome. "How is Jaken useful to Sesshoumaru?" She asked innocently.
Sesshoumaru allowed a small smile to grace is lips. "Entertainment, Rin. Entertainment."
"I said my name is Kagome." Thwack! "Not stupid girl." Thwack! "Not wench!" Thwack! "Not disgusting human!" Thwack Thwack! "Okay?!" She hit him once more with the Staff before tossing it down beside him, and rejoining Inuyasha and the rest of the departing group.
Jaken twitched once... Twice... And then softly mumbled into the ground, "Why me?"