A.N.: Sorry it took me so long to update. . . My mom won't let me use the
computer at home so I'm forced to use the computer here at school. . . not
to mention how busy school can keep you. . . Grrrrr. . . again thanx to
all of you who have reviewed. . . I also wanted to say Merry Christmas and
the next chapter will be up sometime after Christmas...
Dis.: I STILL don't own InuYasha. . . He's just tied up in my closet with a few other bishonens. . . don't sue me cuz I have only pocket lint. . . and that's my college fund!!!
On with the story :-)
************************************************
Chapter 4 - Failed Repression
I got up and took off. Shippo wouldn't dare follow me because he feared if he did, he would have his ass kicked. . . maybe even to death. I heard him call my name, but he gave up after one try knowing I was ignoring him. I stopped to rest for awhile. I was still so. . . so very. . . I was just pissed right off! I picked up a rock and hurled it through the air as hard as I could. It ricocheted off of a tree and hit me in the head. I fell backwards and gingerly touched the wound. I growled threateningly at the rock, picked it up and threw it a second time. It hit another tree and nailed me in the chest.
"STUPID ROCK!" I snarled, hitting the ground heavily. "QUIT FUCKING HITTING ME!"
I found my footing, stalked over to the tree, and delivered one swift, solid punch. Attempting to pry it loose, I realized I was stuck. I pulled harder, howling in pain as a sharp jolt traveled the length of my arm.
'Why'd I do that?' I thought regretfully. 'And how am I supposed to get my hand outta this tree? Great, just great!'
I calmed down a moment before making another attempt at freedom. (A.N. kid in the cookie jar!) To my surprise and relief, it worked.
'Finally!' I growled mentally.
I had to unwind somehow, so I pulled out Kagome's discman. I cranked up the volume and turned it on after untangling the headphones and hanging them around my neck. After setting it to Track 4 (My Immortal), I laid down and let my tears fall as it sang to me.
********************************************************************
I'm so tired of being here,
Suppressed by all my childish fears,
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave,
Cause your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone,
These wounds won't seem to heal,
This pain is just too real,
There's just too much that time cannot erase,
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears,
and I held your hand through all of these years,
But you still...have...all of me,
You used to captivate me,
By your resonating light,
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind,
Your face it haunts,
My once pleasant dreams,
Your voice it chased away,
All the sanity in me,
(space mentioned below)
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,
But though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along , *********************************************************************
The song kept playing over and over. I guess, in a way, I was torturing myself by refusing to just forget about Kagome. It killed me inside to think of her, yet I couldn't stop. I sighed heavily and let it keep playing. I pulled my sleeves back and looked emptily at what I had done. All the markings I had made. My wrists to my elbows were covered with deep, ugly cuts, and they didn't seem to be healing as quickly as they should have.
'Probably because they're self-inflicted,' I thought.
I wanted to do it again, scratch and claw until it bled. Then, the best idea I'd ever had came to me. I decided to do it. I started delving into the ground. I could hear Shippo edging closer.
"What are you doing, InuYasha?" he asked, his voice quivering in fear.
My reply was simply: "I, Shippo, am digging my own grave!"
************************************************************************
Well there's chapter 4 for you all.....
NOW PLEASE REVIEW!!!
See that little bar at the bottom that says 'Submit Review'??? And the little button beside it that says 'Go'???
Push that little 'Go' button and please review...
Dis.: I STILL don't own InuYasha. . . He's just tied up in my closet with a few other bishonens. . . don't sue me cuz I have only pocket lint. . . and that's my college fund!!!
On with the story :-)
************************************************
Chapter 4 - Failed Repression
I got up and took off. Shippo wouldn't dare follow me because he feared if he did, he would have his ass kicked. . . maybe even to death. I heard him call my name, but he gave up after one try knowing I was ignoring him. I stopped to rest for awhile. I was still so. . . so very. . . I was just pissed right off! I picked up a rock and hurled it through the air as hard as I could. It ricocheted off of a tree and hit me in the head. I fell backwards and gingerly touched the wound. I growled threateningly at the rock, picked it up and threw it a second time. It hit another tree and nailed me in the chest.
"STUPID ROCK!" I snarled, hitting the ground heavily. "QUIT FUCKING HITTING ME!"
I found my footing, stalked over to the tree, and delivered one swift, solid punch. Attempting to pry it loose, I realized I was stuck. I pulled harder, howling in pain as a sharp jolt traveled the length of my arm.
'Why'd I do that?' I thought regretfully. 'And how am I supposed to get my hand outta this tree? Great, just great!'
I calmed down a moment before making another attempt at freedom. (A.N. kid in the cookie jar!) To my surprise and relief, it worked.
'Finally!' I growled mentally.
I had to unwind somehow, so I pulled out Kagome's discman. I cranked up the volume and turned it on after untangling the headphones and hanging them around my neck. After setting it to Track 4 (My Immortal), I laid down and let my tears fall as it sang to me.
********************************************************************
I'm so tired of being here,
Suppressed by all my childish fears,
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave,
Cause your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone,
These wounds won't seem to heal,
This pain is just too real,
There's just too much that time cannot erase,
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears,
and I held your hand through all of these years,
But you still...have...all of me,
You used to captivate me,
By your resonating light,
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind,
Your face it haunts,
My once pleasant dreams,
Your voice it chased away,
All the sanity in me,
(space mentioned below)
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,
But though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along , *********************************************************************
The song kept playing over and over. I guess, in a way, I was torturing myself by refusing to just forget about Kagome. It killed me inside to think of her, yet I couldn't stop. I sighed heavily and let it keep playing. I pulled my sleeves back and looked emptily at what I had done. All the markings I had made. My wrists to my elbows were covered with deep, ugly cuts, and they didn't seem to be healing as quickly as they should have.
'Probably because they're self-inflicted,' I thought.
I wanted to do it again, scratch and claw until it bled. Then, the best idea I'd ever had came to me. I decided to do it. I started delving into the ground. I could hear Shippo edging closer.
"What are you doing, InuYasha?" he asked, his voice quivering in fear.
My reply was simply: "I, Shippo, am digging my own grave!"
************************************************************************
Well there's chapter 4 for you all.....
NOW PLEASE REVIEW!!!
See that little bar at the bottom that says 'Submit Review'??? And the little button beside it that says 'Go'???
Push that little 'Go' button and please review...