When I Have Fears
Sometimes he wished they had never told him. Sometimes he could understand why Dumbledore had waited so long before unleashing his burden. Sometimes he wished they would still treat him like a child.
He didn't voice these wishes to anyone of course. He could only imagine the reactions. In his head, he saw Mrs. Weasley ranting about how he was to young to be placed in this sort of situation. He imagined Snape with satisfied smirk upon his sallow skin. Admitting his fears would only be admitting to something Snape seemed to have known all along: that Harry was undeniably and completely in over his head.
He was terrified. This was beyond his Gryffindor bravery, this was beyond anything he had ever felt before.
It wasn't fair. Harry had only just found his family, and now one by one they were being taken away from him.
Did they not understand that perhaps he really couldn't handle this? He wished sometimes that they would baby him. It was insane really after all the time he had spent enraged about not being treated like an adult after what he'd been through. When they stopped babying him, it made Harry feel like he was no longer being taken care of. And as selfish as it sounded, he felt like perhaps his safety wasn't being looked out for. Which was insane really what with the guard and all. And even more, of course he was going to be put in danger.
Not to sound dramatic, but why had the fate of the entire wizarding community been put in his hands? He didn't want it. In fact he wanted more than anything to give it back. It was his duty. It had been since before he was born for reasons he didn't understand. And he hated it. It wasn't fair. He was going to risk his neck to save of people whom for the past few months had believed him to be completely, with out a doubt deranged.
Sometimes he wanted to kick things. Give them a good hard jab with his foot. Have a temper tantrum. Shout out that he didn't want any of this. He just wanted to be a normal wizard. Normal. That was all he had ever wanted.
Sometimes he wished they had never told him. Sometimes he could understand why Dumbledore had waited so long before unleashing his burden. Sometimes he wished they would still treat him like a child.
He didn't voice these wishes to anyone of course. He could only imagine the reactions. In his head, he saw Mrs. Weasley ranting about how he was to young to be placed in this sort of situation. He imagined Snape with satisfied smirk upon his sallow skin. Admitting his fears would only be admitting to something Snape seemed to have known all along: that Harry was undeniably and completely in over his head.
He was terrified. This was beyond his Gryffindor bravery, this was beyond anything he had ever felt before.
It wasn't fair. Harry had only just found his family, and now one by one they were being taken away from him.
Did they not understand that perhaps he really couldn't handle this? He wished sometimes that they would baby him. It was insane really after all the time he had spent enraged about not being treated like an adult after what he'd been through. When they stopped babying him, it made Harry feel like he was no longer being taken care of. And as selfish as it sounded, he felt like perhaps his safety wasn't being looked out for. Which was insane really what with the guard and all. And even more, of course he was going to be put in danger.
Not to sound dramatic, but why had the fate of the entire wizarding community been put in his hands? He didn't want it. In fact he wanted more than anything to give it back. It was his duty. It had been since before he was born for reasons he didn't understand. And he hated it. It wasn't fair. He was going to risk his neck to save of people whom for the past few months had believed him to be completely, with out a doubt deranged.
Sometimes he wanted to kick things. Give them a good hard jab with his foot. Have a temper tantrum. Shout out that he didn't want any of this. He just wanted to be a normal wizard. Normal. That was all he had ever wanted.