Disclaimer: We do not own Final Fantasy VIII, Squaresoft does. Those lucky lucky people!
A/N: ::Anna begins smacking herself repeatedly:: I'm so used to writing angst now (because of Who Wants to Live Forever) that this is such a drastic change for me! The beginning of this one is sort of serious, but there are some laughs after that! Okay? And I'm very sorry it took so long for us to actually post it. I had most of it written, then I misplaced my notebook, I finally found it a few days ago and Vivi-chan helped me finish it up. Enjoy!
An Unlikely Couple
Squall sat in his usual moping position with his back against the headboard of this bed. He began flipping through his Weapons Monthly magazine though he really wasn't interested in the articles.
Why would she betray me like that? Was the question that kept running through his mind. Sighing, he laid the magazine down on his stomach and folded his arms behind his head.
"C'mon man," came Zell's voice from the doorway. "You've been moping around all day. Whaddaya say you come train with me in the Training Center?"
"Nah," Squall said pulling the magazine over his face. The blond shook his head and walked to the bedside.
"Rise n' shine sleepin' beauty!" he yelled as he took the magazine off of the commander's face.
"Bug off, Zell!" he roared, angrily throwing the issue at his head.
"Okay! Okay! I'll go see if Irvine wants to go," the martial artist said in defeat. "Come join us if you want…"
That's highly unlikely…The door clicked shut, and finally he was alone. Complete peace and quiet, that was until the clock began making a very annoying sound. It was then that he regretted throwing Weapons Monthly at Zell. He really wanted to throw it at that digital clock at that time.
It was noon, lunchtime, and the hotdogs wouldn't be lasting very long. Sulkily, he heaved himself out of the bed and headed out of his dorm.
As always the cafeteria was packed. Everyone sat with his or her friends. Irvine and Zell were nowhere to be found, probably still training. Quistis still wasn't back from her assignment, and Rinoa sat with her new love interest, Seifer. It made him sick! However, Selphie wasn't anywhere to be found either.
Discreetly he scanned the cafeteria for any place to sit…alone.
"Oh Squall! You can sit here!" came several shrill voices. Squall winced and proceeded to turn around.
"Oh my Hyne! He looked at me!" Moomba cried.
"No he wasn't! He was looking at me!" Charity argued.
"Umm, actually I think he's looking for a place to sit," Nny offered, giggling.
"No!" the two yelled in unison.
Walk away…slowly, he thought as he carried his hotdog out of the lunchroom.
"Look, Moomba! You made him leave!"
"Did not, Charity!"
"Stop it both of you!" Ryuu yelled.
Gotta get out while I'm still alive…As the girls bickered back and forth, he nimbly made his way out of their sight. Sighing he started looking for a place to eat his hotdog in peace. "I guess I can always try the Quad," he said to no one in particular.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE OUT OF HOTDOGS!!?" Zell's over dramatic voice came from behind. Holding back a smile, Squall continued to walk forward. The Quad wasn't far so it wasn't long before he was there.
He sat down on one of the stairs and brought the hotdog to his mouth. Suddenly he heard some sniffing, and a sound that sounded a lot like crying. He arched his eyebrow and took a bite out of his food. He never cared before, why should he now?
Completely disregarding whoever was crying, he finished his small meal and stood up to throw away the paper plate. He walked down a few stairs to the trashcan, when he was able to see who it was that was making such a fuss. Whoever she was, she was in her SeeD uniform and curled up in the fetal position on the other side of the room.
It's none of my business, I'll just leave her to her weeping, he thought as he started to walk past her. Suddenly she looked up, her face red and asked startled, "Squall? What are you doing here!?" she eagerly wiped the moisture off of her face. It was Selphie.
"…It's not off-limits to me is it?"
"No, that's not what I meant…" she looked away from him.
"Well, I'll leave you alone." He still didn't want to get involved.
"Wait! Will you do me a favor?" He remained silent, but he turned to wait for what her 'favor' was. "Beat the crap out of Irvine for me."
"You mean I actually have permission!? Oh I have waited for this day to come! Gladly! I'll give him such a good beating you won't be sorry!" The tiny brunette smiled a bit, but quickly went back to sobbing. "…But, why would you want me to beat up your boyfriend?"
"Ex-boyfriend," she corrected.
"Oh…" Squall stopped where he was. "So…he dumped you?"
"You really creeped him out when you were in my body, you know?"
So…basically it was my fault. "Seph, I'm so sorry…but he…he…" he looked around uncomfortably, "…touched my butt..."
Selphie began laughing a bit despite herself. "Well, I'm sure you touch Rinny's butt, don't you?"
"…No, Seifer does now…"
"Ah…" an uncomfortable silence pursued.
"Hey, you look awful." Squall began, changing subjects. "Have you even eaten today?"
The younger SeeD shook her head, causing her curls to bounce. "C'mon, I'll buy you some lunch."
*If I were President…*
"Laguna, so glad to have you back!" a man that Quistis automatically recognized as Kiros, greeted her.
"Uh, thank you…"
"As soon as you left, you should have seen the paperwork that has been stacking up on your desk! Ward tried to do some of it, but he wasn't very successful."
"Sounds like…fun," she said forcedly.
"Yes, I will visit your office in a bit with your stress reliever."
Quistis nodded. "Yes, that would be great Mr. Seagill." Kiros raised an eyebrow and felt her head.
"You okay Laguna?"
"No, I don't fell well at all today…"
"That's too bad, because you are NOT getting me to do that nasty paperwork again!" he laughed.
"I-I never said that…"
"I know the way your mind thinks, Laguna." You mean there is actually something to know about Laguna's mind? Amazing…
"Okay…well um. Can you please point me in the right direction of my office?"
"You forgot again? It's your office! Not mine! You've been the president for how many years now, and you still can't remember where your office is located?"
Oh, so this is normal with Laguna? What a relief! Quistis blushed, "Well, the Presidential Palace is so big and all…"
"Yet Ward and I seem to know our way around quite well, don't you think?"
"…"
"Don't worry about it, Laguna. Someday, maybe ten years from now, I'm sure you'll get the first hallway down. Then, after that, you'll learn to take a left. Before you know it, you'll make it to the end of the hallway! Then, when that day comes we can take out all the call help buttons. After that, we'll throw a party and fill the room with hotdog buns from all over Esthar!"
Quistis looked at him and said nothing. She was thinking, hotdog buns!?
"Well, here it is…" Kiros said, opening a door. "Now, look at it, Laguna. Take in the surroundings. Memorize it, engrave it into your memory!"
Quistis rolled her eyes and stepped into the office. Paperwork was piled a mile high on top of the desk. Being a SeeD she was required to do some paperwork, just not that much! As she plopped down into the fluffy office chair, Kiros went to the door. "I'll be back with the stress reliever," he said.
What? She looked at the paperwork and shook her head. "Maybe there's a valid reason Laguna lost his sanity. There is no way that he can do all of this!" Shaking her head again, she picked out a piece of paper from the top of the pile.
"Then, let's just make the stack shorter, shall we?" She looked at the paper was holding. "Junk," she announced throwing it away and picking up several others. "junk, junk…War with Galbadia?-Junk. Moomba Liberation Front…might be importantl…"
Steadily, the trashcan on the other side of the room was filling up, and the mess of on her desk was disappearing. Very happy to get rid of the mess, she picked up a pen and began working, when she realized that she didn't know he signed his name. Damn that's not good.
As the SeeD desperately searched through the drawers, the door creaked open. Cautiously, she peeked over the top of the desk to see Kiros carry a tray of food into the office. "What are you hiding from this time?"
Quistis didn't answer. Instead, she scrambled back into the chair. Kiros shook his head and laid the tray down. "Here are your buns, sir. You may now begin squeezing."
"WHAT!!?" her eyes darted down to the tray, on it lay about five hotdog buns. Kiros arched his eyebrows in shock.
"The Annual Esthar Bun Squeezing Contest is coming up. You need all the practice you can get! Even if you have held the title for twenty years now!"
…I always thought Laguna was a bit strange…but…bun squeezing!? What kind of a pastime is that!?
With Kiros watching, Quistis hesitantly picked up one of the hotdog buns, wondering what to do.
…How do they judge a bun squeezing contest? This is crazy! "C'mon Laguna! I'll time you. Your last time was forty-five seconds. Let's shoot for thirty!"
"Th-Thirty, eh?" she eyed the bun a little bit longer.
"Ready, set, GO!" he yelled, pulling out a stopwatch.
Timidly, she began to squeeze the bun, feeling extremely stupid. Kiros' shouts of 'Faster! Faster!' were starting to annoy her very much.
"C'mon Laguna! Hurry!"
"Ah, bite me!" she roared, chucking the squeezed bun at the man's head.
Kiros stared in confusion at his friend, Then his eyes started welling up. "Okay, fine. If you aren't gong to appreciate the art of bun squeezing then I'll leave you to your paperwork…" he picked up the tray and began walking for the door. "You know, Laguna. You win this contest every year because of me! Now, the runner up for the last then years is going to take the medal."
Like I really care… Instead of leaving the room, Kiros turned and gave her the puppy-dog look.
"I'm not falling for that!" she yelled. Then, the lip began to tremble. Sighing, she complied.
"Fine, I'll do it."
"Good," he pulled a whistle out of his pocket and blew it. "Bun squeezing boot camp, day one! You better get ready!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
There you go. Sorry it took so long. Too much studying for finals and such, then we also had this tornado (in all seriousness) and that was a BIG distraction. Please review! Flames and feedback are appreciated! Oh, and if you have any ideas on how the bun squeezing contest could be judged, be sure to throw them in also! We thought of one idea, though it isn't all that great! If you have any ideas you can email us at Kawaiiblonde@hotmail.com (be sure to write fanfiction or Swapping Souls for the title so it won't get deleted!)