Disclaimer: We still don't own Final Fantasy VIII
Koritsumou: We already said that it would be very difficult to make the second as good as the first one. But, then again, we still haven't gotten to the good parts. (Again, we planned them during play rehearsal). So, please bear with us for a while longer.
Grasshopper: That's alright, Zell's awesome! But we don't have a Zell fanclub as of now, we'll try to add that in to the humor later. Oki day?
MegumiFuu: Thank you for agreeing! We were so worried that people would hate us for trying this! Thanks all for being flexible! ^_^
Dark Phoenix: You sound like you are just as crazy as us! ::laughs madly:: I like your ideas!
A/N: Any Trepies out there? We would like to do something with the Trepies if there are any boys who want to volunteer! Just review us the same information as the fangirls! (First one to get in a profile will be the leader…so on and so forth). Oh! And the link on our profile works now, so check out our homepage! (And sign our guestbook!)
Persuasion
"Hey, Rinny! Quisty!" Selphie squealed, grabbing her friends by the arm and dragging them over to a wall. "Looks like the Garden is now offering a Tae-Bo class in the Quad!"
"Wow, that sounds like it would be a lot of fun!" Rinoa said as she read the bulletin.
"Girls, I'm too old for that kind of stuff…"
Both the girls looked at their friend in awe. "Hyne, Quisty! You're only a year older!" Rinoa burst out laughing.
"Oh, yeah…I forgot." Laguna said uneasily.
"C'mon, let's go see if we can get the guys to join too!" Selphie exclaimed as she hastily jotted their names on the sign-up list. Giggling, they sprinted to the Training Center.
Just as they got there, the four boys were exiting the facility.
"Jeez, chickenwuss. Can't you hit a target?" Seifer laughed.
"Look, I'm sorry. I've already apologized to him a million times!" Zell argued back. Behind them Squall and Irvine came into view. Irvine was clutching his nose that was pouring out blood and Squall was trying his hardest not to laugh.
As the girls got closer he mouthed to Selphie, "Zell missed…" The short brunette covered up a small smile.
"C'mon Irvine, I'll take you to the infirmary," Zell sighed. The two walked off, Irvine keeping himself distanced from the martial artist.
Smiling, the group of five watched until their friends were out of eyesight. "Well, we were just getting ready to go to the cafeteria if you ladies want to join us," Seifer winked at Rinoa.
"Who are you calling a lady!?" Laguna roared.
"Sorry, Instructor. You do make a better man than Irvine," Seifer laughed.
Laguna looked pleased, then he realized that at that minute he was a girl. "Hey!"
Squall laughed and took Selphie by the hand, "Let's go before Quistis used Degenerator on him."
Laughing, they ran down the hall, with Rinoa and Seifer behind. 'Quistis' was chasing them with 'her' whip drawn.
"Hyne! I already said I was sorry, Instructor!" Seifer pleaded as he dodged a lashing.
"You don't sound like you mean it. BEG FOR MERCY!!" Laguna yelled maniacally.
As the crazed Instructor chased Seifer through the halls, they passed a group of boys. The one in the lead gasped. "Instructor Trepe! Please wait up!" the entire group migrated along with them.
"Quistis! Can't you tell when a guy is joking!?" Squall yelled from up ahead. "You're going to kill someone if you don't calm down!"
Out of breath, Laguna stopped running and began walking. Seifer ran even further ahead until he caught up with Squall, Selphie and Rinoa. The four walked into the cafeteria. Still trying to catch his breath, he sat down on the tile floor.
"Ms. Trepe!" the boys continued to scream as they came closer. Laguna's eyes widened and he pulled himself up, This is way too creepy! He forced himself to run further until he got into the cafeteria with everyone else. Quickly, he ducked behind the table that Rinoa was saving for everyone while they waited in line.
"Hide me, quick!"
"Good Hyne, Quisty. What's been the problem with you lately!?" Laguna rolled his eyes and threw himself down under the table.
"Tell me when they're gone!" he hissed from below.
"What the-?" Rinoa looked at the door and saw the Trepies walk in. "Oh. Them again…?" The leader looked around the cafeteria a few times before turning to the rest of them. "She isn't here. Men, withdraw!" In military style, they marched back out.
"Alright Quisty. The coast is clear."
Just to make sure, Laguna peeked over the table. Sure enough, the Trepies were gone. Taking a huge sigh, he sat in one of the seats, thinking deeply (or as deeply as he could) about his near-death experience.
"Hey guys!" Selphie exclaimed, running over. "We're gonna need an extra chair. Zell's back from the infirmary."
"Okay," Rinoa stood up and pulled a chair away from one of the other tables.
A few minutes later the boys came over to the table carrying trays of food.
"Where's Irvine?" Rinoa asked as Seifer took the seat next to her.
"He went back to his dorm…" Zell said uneasily.
"Yeah, thanks to the chickenwuss,
his entire face is swollen!"
Selphie laughed, "Serves him right!" Everyone shot her a glance, except for Squall who pretended not to notice.
"You're not helping, you know. I feel bad enough as it is!"
"I'm sure Irvine knows it was an accident," Rinoa said reassuringly.
"What's up with you, Quistis?" Squall asked, changing the subject. "You haven't said much since you went berserk in the hall."
Involuntarily, 'her' eye started twitching and 'she' began to spaz out.
"Shit! What's wrong with her!?" Zell exclaimed.
"She just survived an encounter with the Trepies," Rinoa explained.
"Ah."
It was quiet as everyone watched 'Quistis' continue to twitch.
"Is she broken?" Selphie asked, much like a three-year-old.
"I don't know…"
"Should we take her to see Kadowaki?"
"That poor woman! We're always bothering her!"
"Does anyone have a hotdog bun?" Laguna asked, interrupting all the dialogue. Everyone looked between each other confusedly.
"Uh, yeah. I do…" Zell uneasily took his hotdog (his precious hotdog!) out of its bun and handed it to the 'Instructor'.
Now, everyone watched as 'she' began squeezing the bun, much like someone would do with a stress ball. After a while, Laguna calmed down tremendously, and was back to his normal self. The exact opposite of Quistis.
*Meanwhile, back in the Presidential Palace*
"C'mon you pansy!" Kiros yelled, as he held a stopwatch. Quistis was being put through hell just so she could squeeze buns for a sport! Only Hyne knew how many bags of buns they had gone through already. Plus, her fingers felt like they would fall off if she had to squeeze anything else.
"Go go go go!" he was chanting as she worked her finger muscles on a small finger treadmill (specially designed by Kiros himself). "Only ten more minutes! You can do it Laguna!"
"You know what!? Why don't you do it!?" she said irritably.
"Because, I am your trainer. I'm just here for moral support."
"Damn hypocrite," she said under her breath.
The ten minutes passed and Kiros threw her a water bottle. "You can take a small break. I'll be back in about an hour, so you can catch up on your paperwork."
Psh, like hell I'm going to do paperwork! The door closed behind him, and Quistis started to look around the room. There was a small couch and with a television. That will help take my mind off things.
Feeling like a sweaty mess, she plopped down on the couch and took a big swig of the water. After rummaging for the remote, she started flipping through the channels. "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants!" No. She flipped to the next channel. "Absorbent and yellow and porous is he! Spongebob Squarepants!" What the hell? Next channel. "His nautical nonsense be something you wish…" Nooooo! Hurriedly she flipped through all the channels, but it was the same on every channel. All six thousand, seven hundred and twenty-three.
That's not fair! I simply can't live without my soaps! Ah! I'm feeling faint!
*Please? Do it for me?*
"Oh yeah! We were meaning to talk to you guys about something…" Selphie started slowly. Rinoa gasped and covered her mouth as of not to giggle.
"What is it?" Squall asked.
"Well, you see, there was this bulletin on the outside of the second floor classroom…"
"Oh, uh. I just remembered something, gotta go! Bye everyone!" Zell popped out of his seat and ran off. Strange looks followed him, but he continued to run.
"Anyway." Rinoa continued where Selphie left off, "There's a Tae-Bo class that's meeting every Wednesday in the Quad. Selph, Quisty and I signed up for it and we were wondering if…"
"Ah! Now, I just remembered something that I have to do!" Squall said, trying to stand up as well.
"Oh no you don't!" Selphie grabbed his shirt and yanked him back down into his chair. "We want you guys to join to! It'll be fun!"
"Sorry ladies," Seifer looked at Quistis, "Uh…guys…? Hell! It's just not my kind of thing to prance around in a leotard and kick at things."
Laguna began beating his head against the table, trying to get the mental image of his son in a leotard out of his head. Once again, all eyes were on him.
"Who said anything about a leotard?" Rinoa laughed. "You can wear normal clothes, as long as you can move around easily!" Laguna stopped banging his head and sighed in relief. Squall raised his eyebrows, but once again said nothing.
"I don't think so. Sorry Sefie," he finally replied.
"But, what if I passed out!? No one would be there to help me!"
"Rinoa and Quistis would. Quistis is really good in medical procedures, you know she volunteers in Kadowaki's office on the weekends."
She does? Crap. Laguna thought.
"Please?" Selphie used the best puppy-dog face she could muster. "For me?"
"Aww…no! Please! Anything but that!"
Selphie smiled again and looked at him. "So, will you?"
Seifer shrugged and looked at Rinoa. "I will if Leonhart does…"
All attention shifted back to Squall. "If I have to…" he sighed.
"Really!? You will!? Thanks Squally!" Selphie squealed, hugging him.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I really had no idea when to end this chapter, so I just kind of cut it off. Sorry guys. Anyways, we have plenty of humor planned out of Laguna as Quistis, but not much for Quistis as Laguna. So if you have any ideas, please submit them! We will most definitely use them!