Kagome stared mournfully over the balcony, a few tears escaping her eyes.
'This is all my fault.' She thought sorrowfully.
A flashback of a dream appeared in her mind; in front of her Rin dashed happily with Jaken in the garden, and suddenly she felt a pair of strong, firm arms encircle her lithe body, protectively.
Turning her head expectantly she saw, with no surprise, Sesshomaru smiling slightly down at her.
Then she witnessed again the vision, Shippo's foxfire flickering desperately, briefly, over the dark forest.
Burying her head in her arms, she fell to her knees.
Then she saw with a sob her family, smiling back at her, trustingly.
Sesshomaru, staring down at her dissapointed.
"No, no, no, no.." She chanted slightly hysterically.
The sunsets pastel colors of yellow and pink and misty blue announced the end of the day.
Looking back up, she fancied she saw a red forest fox with vibrant green eyes staring at her from the edge of the forest...
As the last light dissapeared from the sky, she backed slightly into the room, the familiar white kimono dragging on the ground.
Sesshomaru had not spoken to her lately, cold and distant.
She knew he did not hate her, but the frightening change in his facade and voice startled, confused, and hurt her. His silence pierced her.
She backed away from the thin door as if being possessed or driven by some demon.
Her small hands hastily found the spidery thread of the butterfly-like bow of the obi, yanking the knot loose as the kimono fell, with the obi, to the ground.
Her pale nude form spirited across the room, searching for some form of clothing, some unimportant piece of cloth.
Her nymph-like form danced, pale, in the moonlight, eyes glittering with madness, though a sane distress and determination.
Finally finding possibly the most innexpensive thing, though it would still prove priceless in her own time, she padded quietly across the room and out the door, unnaware of the silvery tears that marked her path. It was as if she were numb.
Bursting into the strongest run a human could accomplish, she covered her path slightly with her miko powers, hiding her scent and aura, hiding it and replacing it with wind and water and fire and earth.
She did not know how long she ran, if she got hurt, if she met or passed anyone or anything, she was not sure how long, how many days, or years, or centuries, even eternity's it took for her to reach the well, except that she was suddenly curled up, sobbing in complete hysterics, at the bottom of an old well, at the time of dawn, some day...
*
'Where is she?' he thought, worry etched slightly on his face.
His figure was a blur. After the complete rounding of his fairly large residence, he finally began making increasing bigger hoops around it, searching, in vain.
'Where could she have gone?'
He remembered clearly when she had tearfully confessed her guilt about being a burden, a distraction, and above all, a nuissance. He had refused, not so warmly.
'Dear Kami...' His mind hissed in resentment and regret for his seemingly cold words, or silence, towards the girl.
"Where had she to go?" He whispered.
*
"Mama?" She whimpered, opening the door quietly.
Her head snapped back, "Kagome?!" she cried.
"I came back Mama, I'm sorry..." Kagome threw herself into her mother's arms and sobbed, her blood beginning to rush again.
"No, no Kagome." Her mother comforted, not asking any questions.
"I loved him so much Mama! But I made his life completely miserable!" She sobbed as her mother led her to the couch.
Sota and Grampa appeared in the doorway groggily, both snapping awake upon seeing their "lost" family member, but quickly departed due to the firm stare the older woman fixed them with.
She stroked her hair, comforting words slipping past her lips for what seemed an eternity. Finally Grampa and Sota came in again, the kind old grandfather touching his grandaughters head briefly before leaving to tend to the shrine, and Sota softly calling goodbye to his mother and older sister before leaving to meet up with a friend.
Kagome slowly ascended up the stairs some time afterwards, slipping despairingly into the bathroom and starting a bath.
The water was scorching hot but she didn't care as she lowered herself into it, her soft sobs echoing off the walls.
Half an hour later she was in her room, staring depressed into her mirror, dressed in her pajamas, brushing out her hair.
Her mother came in shortly and softly but firmly urged her into bed, giving her a bowl of warm soup and a cup of tea, before leaving her alone.
Staring into the cup of tea, Kagome didn't believe anything of this was happening.
The girl in the cup was not her, she decided; it was a girl she did not even know, a horrible girl who brought bad things to everybody.
See what she did? She betrayed her first "friend" in the feudal era, she destroyed a victory he had been fighting for, for so long. She abandoned her friends, her "sister", her "brother", her "friend" and her "son". She sided with a demon, and fell in love with him, destroyed his silence, his void of darkness. On top of that, she destroyed his honor, her prescence would have taken away his position, his dignity, his status.
"I cannot go back.." She said softly.
Outside the sun was suddenly blanketed with a thick gray cloud that stretched across the universe, it began to snow.
*
The weather suddenly dulled, white flakes drifted down from the heavens, touching the earth briefly before melting onto the semi-heated ground.
Sesshoumaru lifted his face to the sky, and he felt an invisible trickling down his face. Reaching a clawed hand up to touch it, he realized they were tears.
*
Dyhattar grinned broadly.
'Seperated by time and place, hm? The girl thinks I would stop this hideous rebellion upon Sesshoumaru if she was eliminated, but no. I shall rule the four corners, I will be above all. With.. The help of Naraku. I will kill him in the end, when he is no longer of use to me, the foolish half breed...'
*
Kagome stayed in bed for three days, scarcely eating, staring into the tea cup and pondering.
This wasn't happening to her.
Only the girl in the tea cup.
Nothing more.
Her friends called.
Hojo came to give his comfort to Kagome, as she found out she suddenly had some unknown virus that probably wouldn't kill her but would keep her out of school for a good long time.
Kagome sighed.
The snow had formed a thick layer of ice on her window, as well as gathering up along the sides, so as to trap her seemingly.
She got up and walked down the stairs. She came back up. She thought about Shippo and Inuyasha and Sango and Sesshoumaru and Rin.
Slipping on a sweater, hardly appropriate for the weather, as it was loosely knitted and fell over one of her shoulders, she walked outside into the freezing cold.
Walking into the well house, her breath still became mist as it blew out of her mouth, it was hardly warmer then outside, but Kagome didn't care.
Hugging herself again, she sat heavily on the side of the well, so that her slippered feet hung down the other side, into the well.
The tears froze on her cheeks before they could even travel to her chin.
One slipper fell in, then the other. Kagome looked down emoionlessly after them, refusing to go after them.
Her bare feet began to get numb from the exposure.
Then her grandfather ran in, gruffly yanking her back to the ground.
She did not speak as he lectured her, a little more gently then he normally would. Kagome seemed so fragile and weak nowadays, nobody knew what to do for her.
He tried to carry her, but not only wouldn't she cooperate, but he couldn't at all, so he helped her walk through the snow, scolding her about really catching pnemonia.
She sat in bed, she did not eat, she did not sleep. She sipped hot tea for days, staring into space, not making a single sound except soft sobs. Kagome's mother visited her a lot, dropping her life to tend to her daughter.
Then Kagome returned again to the well house, returning to the position she had before, when her Grandfather found her.
Again, the soft slippers fell of her feet and into the depths of the well.
This time Sota came in.
"Sis.." He spoke unlike any time he had to her before.
She turned her head ever so slightly to indicate her attention.
"You need to go back." He said.
She turned her torso to look him in the eye, still she did not speak.
"You need to go back to that life, because, you like it more, you'll die here! We don't know what to do Kagome! You used to be my sister, now you're like that woman Inuyasha likes, you act like you're undead! You won't speak to any of us, and you hardly eat. You're turning ugly because you never sleep, and you always look like you're about to cry or something! Mom would rather have you gone for months on end then see you like this! Please Kagome, I just want, I just want..." He began to cry.
"What about that little kid you adored so much? Shippo. Why don't you go back for him? Or Sango, or Miroku, or Inuyasha at least!" He continued, but, with no further argument to press, he finally turned and ran, his thickly layered clothing blowing as he half stumbled, half ran back into his home.
She stared after him with a dull look, unlike the cheery they used to hold, she turned her gaze back to the well.
"You're father's favorite song, Kagome, did I ever told you about it?" another voice spoke, a while after Sota left.
Kagome did not move.
"How did the words go? 'I feel something falling from the sky, I'm so sad I made the angels cry, tears from the moon, fall down like rain, I reach for you, I reach in vain...'" she hummed the tune softly.
Kagome turned her tear stained face to her mother, her lip trembling.
"An English song. He loved it. Especially when he learned what the words meant." She walked over and halfway sat on the edge of the well.
"I do not know what happened to you back there, my dear Kagome, but I have the feeling I know. I'm fairly positive this is how that person... demon is feeling at this moment." Kagome's mother spoke softly.
"It could work for me as well.." Kagome said softly, her voice slightly hoarse from not speaking for a week.
Kagome's mother inclined her head curiously, but gave no comment.
"You need to go back to that time Kagome, and end this. You are wise, my beautiful daughter, and I will not be hurt if you wish to stay on that side, if you will return.. Only once in a while.." Kagome's mother began to cry softly, "You must return to that time. I support you always."
Kagome looked at her mother in surprise.
"I said something like this when you first went on your journey, but I will repeat it again, as you are about to begin another important journey, Kagome, I wish you the best of luck." With that her mother rose and walked back into the snow, her casual clothing whipping around her in the strong wind.
However later, Kagome also rose and silently followed the path her mother had taken.
Climbing the stairs, she entered her room and looked about it.
Her hair had grown, she realized suddenly, randomely.
In the almost-year she had lived with Sesshomaru, her hair grew until it nearly touched her knees(*).
Blinking her eyes, she cleared her thoughts, knowing she was tricking herself as a distraction.
Pulling on the miko clothing she had kept, she didn't put back her hair, but stepped out of the room.
Surprisingly, her family was all standing at ther bottom of the steps, smiling up at her. Just like in a dream.
She flew down the steps and embraced them all, murmering "I love you," over and over again.
They finally released her and she walked slowly to the well house.
'Does he still love me?' The thought burned her heart, nagged her mind.
She inched closer to the well, the silence of the snow heavy about her.
Finally she opened the ancient door. The place seemed depressing in itself, eerily quiet.
She walked down the steps, across the floor, until she stood before the well, finally.
Her heart seemed to stop, she could feel the spirit of the snow. Closing her eyes to the world, she felt as if she were ascending into a freezing heaven as she stood on the edge of the well, breathing silently.
Then, she fell.
Falling, falling, never to end, never to stop.
'This will never end, unless I make it.' She thought absently, falling into the dark abyss of the dry Bone Eaters Well.