Chapter 32: The Sign-Up

"You want me to be Who?!" Matt asked.

"I want you to play the part of Jesus."

"I don't have a Jesus look. Everywhere you see Jesus in films or anything, He has a tall head, beard, brown hair---"

"It doesn't matter, Matt! That's probably not what He really looked like, anyway. The important thing is that you have the scars on your arms!"

"Huh?" Matt looked at his arms, and, sure enough, they were covered in scars from the time when the Linonians had tried to torture him to death. "But…if I…oh, all right. But what's my part in it, exactly?"

"Well, first you play a corpse, of course. A few guys put you in a tomb---"

"Yuck! I don't want to be in there with all kinds of dead bodies!!"

"There aren't any dead bodies in there, Matt! Part of the story was that Jesus was buried in a tomb that had never been used before."

"Has this one ever been used before?"

Tina shook her head. "If it has been, this whole time-getting-messed-up thing fixed that."

"That's a relief. But Jesus didn't stay dead; what else do I do?"

"You get to trick Sora into thinking you're the gardener of the cemetery."

"Sora? What's she doing?"

******

"You want me to play who?"

"Mary Magdalene."

"…But isn't she the woman who jumps to conclusions?"

"She listens this time."

Sora was a little…perplexed. She didn't know whether she really wanted the part or not. It might be a good chance to get away from the routine, but, then again…

"Oh, come on, Sora! You're perfect for the part! And don't tell me that you can't act, because I know you can."

"What all is involved?"

"You have to look sad and pensive, and you have to burst out crying and say, 'body snatchers took him away!' or something like that."

Sora was still a little hesitant to accept, but even more hesitant to reject.

"Please? …It's for the kids!"

Sora sighed. "All right. I'll do it."

"Great! Now, I just have to round up a few other mourners."

******

"No thanks. Black isn't really my color," June said, looking over the costume that Tina had pieced together. It consisted of a black, cashmere poncho and a black towel to go around her waist.

"Oh, come on! All you need to do is look sad and confused."

"I don't want to look sad and confused! Sad and confused doesn't go well with my face. Happy and contented looks way better."

Tina rolled her eyes. "On second thought, spiky hair isn't exactly what the audience will be expecting. Hair gel came about 1900 years after this happened, so…"

"But I bet there are a few girls in the orphanage who fit the bill."

"Yeah, probably." Tina and Youngdramon walked outside and into the boxcar, and then took the long climb down the ladder into the makeshift refugee center.

"This is a lot easier for you than it is for me," Youngdramon said.

"I bet," Tina said. "No offense, but I'm lighter than you, and my limbs were built for carrying my weight."

The descent was longer for Youngdramon than it was for Tina, but they both made it. "Natasha?" they called out. "Natasha?"

It took a while of looking, but Tina found Natasha, hiding in a corner. "What are you doing there?"

"Trying to keep out of sight. Let's just say that there are a few conversations I don't want to get trapped in, down here."

"…Are there some raunchy jokes flying, down here?"

"You'd think this was an old war movie, or something." Natasha sighed. "What's the deal?"

"Basically, it's that we need to break the monotony. We need some kind of a morale booster, and my idea is to have a little holiday."

"…Which holiday? Christmas?"

Tina shook her head. "Overdone. Besides, I'll be the only one who likes fruitcake."

Fruitcake is usually another thing that's overdone, Natasha silently thought to herself. "Then…what are we doing?"

"Easter, of course!"

Natasha slapped her forehead and said, "Duh! Of course, Easter!"

She said that a little too loud: one of the older, male refugees shouted, "Natasha, you hidin' out back there?"

Natasha and Tina kept their mouths shut.

"I'm comin' over there! I haven't told you about the time I---"

"Can't stay and chat, Benny. This Digidestined has a special assignment for me."

"Digidestined?" Benny looked at Tina's digivice. "Well…okay, but you take her back here, y'hear?"

"I hear," Tina answered.

Tina took Natasha back up the long climb. "You know," Youngdramon said, "I think I should just stay up at the top, next time!"

"Yeah, maybe," Tina grunted as she pushed Youngdramon up the shaft.

"What exactly did you want to talk to me about?" Natasha asked.

"We're doing an Easter pageant---explaining the story about what happened when Jesus rose from the dead. We need a few actors for the pageant."

"I can't act!"

"You won't have to say anything…you'll just have to look sad, scared, and confused," Youngdramon said.

"Given planet Earth's situation, I am all three of those, anyway!"

"So your job is easy!" Youngdramon snorted.

"Youngdramon, be nice!" Tina muttered. "Anyhow, I was wondering if you'd like to be one of the mourners who come to his grave and see it's empty?"

"Actually, Ingrid would probably like it more if I were sitting next to her in the audience. But why would I have had to come up here? Is there a rehearsal that's about to start?"

"No, it's more like I'll need help to plant the Easter eggs, and I wanted to take you to the orphanage."

"Where is it?"

"It's actually in a mausoleum."

"Gross!"

"It's cleaner than the storm sewers," Youngdramon cut in.

"…Okay, I can see that…"

"Anyhow, guess who is there, right now?"

"…Ingrid?!?!"

"That's the one!"

Natasha let out a squeal of delight. "Take me over there!"

"I will, I will, but there's one thing…"

"What?"

"It's not a good idea for us to go alone…we'll need another fighter to come along, in case we meet some menace machines…while we're at it, I think we might as well get the candy together. I think I know just who to ask."

******

A bead of sweat trickled down the back of Hare's neck. "Uh…what's with the vest? And why the baskets?"

"Oh, the vest is only secondary," Natasha answered.

"And, uh, why would we be heading for the cemetery?"

"It's the best place we could find," Youngdramon said around the basket she held in her mouth.

"The best place for what?!"

"Hiding the eggs in the baskets."

"But what's the point of that?" Hare sniffed the eggs. "These aren't even real eggs! They smell like poison!"

"They probably would be poisonous to you, but not to humans."

"But…but…I'm not understanding one thing about this. Could you explain what the point of hiding poisoned eggs around in a cemetery is?"

"So kids can have fun finding them."

"…Oh. Well, that explains everything, doesn't it?"

"It's an old Christian tradition that we have. It's done every Easter."

"Easter? That sounds more like a direction than a religious holiday."

"Well, it is a holiday."

"And what're the eggs for? How do they tie in to the religious part?"

"Actually, they don't."

"So why are we taking all the trouble to do this---and why did anyone ever take the trouble to go out and hide poisoned eggs?"

"I don't know how the tradition got started, but kids will bend over backwards for candy eggs."

"And what if we get attacked while we're out here?"

He had to ask. A flock of e-gulls flew in at them.

"Think we even need to digivolve for these things?" Youngdramon asked.

"Probably not," Tina answered.

"In that case, Dragon bomb!"

"Fire bomb!" Hare shouted throwing fireballs into the flock.

The e-gulls weren't lasting, but they weren't giving up, either. "Jero Dra!" they shouted, firing blasts of electricity at the three of them.

They side-stepped the lightning bolts and kept firing.

Tina decided to add to their chances: "♫ Jo-eeeey?! ♪" Joey's head popped out of her pocket, and Joey began taking pot-shots at the e-gulls, too. It wasn't long before the e-gulls were scrap metal.

"That wasn't so hard," Hare smiled.

"Yeah…at least they didn't combine with each other."

"Now…where were we?"

"Where were we in what?"

"You were explaining what we're doing."

"Oh, right. Well, there's this little myth that has nothing whatsoever to do with the religious part of this holiday. The myth goes like this: there's a rabbit that goes around the night before Easter, and he hides Easter eggs for the children to find."

"Now, what exactly is there to be gained for the rabbit in hiding eggs when he knows the children are just going to find them, anyway?"

"The rabbit has nothing to gain: this whole thing is a game, and the rabbit hides the eggs out of the kindness of his heart."

"...But if the eggs really get out there for the kids to find, and it's all a myth, then who really hides them?"

"Usually the children's parents hide them the night before, and then the kids wake up and find them."

"I see. And you want me to do what with these?"

"Hide them around the cemetery."

"You are letting kids play around in a cemetery?"

"It's a big, open space, it's close to the mausoleum, and there's a lot of shelter in case it starts to rain while we're in the middle of the festivities."

Hare shrugged. "Okay."

"One other thing: don't hide all the eggs in one spot. There will be a few dozen kids looking for them, and I don't want one of them to find all the eggs. I want each one to find some."

"Hmm…and you said that I'll have another job in the pageant after all this is done?"

"Yep."

"Um…if the pageant explains the religious part of the holiday, and the Easter Bunny myth has nothing to do with the religious part, then why am I even in the pageant?"

"You'll see. But you're not in it for very long."

AUTHOR'S NOTES: (Some Christian content)

Now, I understand that the rest of the world is probably scratching their heads about this particular Easter celebration. Well, I'll explain it as best I can: this is America's tradition. If America does something, you know it's going to be messed up and inaccurate. I mean, take a look at our education plan! But, anyhow, what Tina explained above is essentially the Easter tradition of America. …That, and go to church. Now, Easter is always on a Sunday, and some people are in the habit of going to church every Sunday (hooray!), but some people are superstitious and think that going to church just once on Easter and forgetting about church the rest of the year will benefit them more than going to church year round. If they would go to church year round, they'd probably know that this idea is wrong.

As Tina said, the egg hunts have nothing to do with Jesus rising from the dead, which is the event that we actually celebrate on Easter. How that and the Easter Bunny got tied into the holiday, I don't know…but it may have had something to do with the fact that Easter always happens in the spring…at least, in the northern hemisphere…and spring is associated with new life. Rabbits and eggs also mean new life, and so the connection is very distant.

Now, Tina wrote this particular pageant, so it's going to be a pretty wacky ordeal, while still remaining true to the essentials of the story and the heart of the story. So sit back and enjoy the next chapter.